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DO IT!

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Get it off your chest
>>
i hacked n00dz n tha prawcess ov photo shawping dem reguliar.
>>
I just want to know what you think! Your words never match your actions. Am I wasting my time with you? I don't want to add this to my list of failed friendships, if possible. My ex said every friendship I make will fail when they get to know me. I don't want it to be that way.
>>
My gut is saying to hold out and that it will work out with her, and we will end up together. But consciously, I doubt it. I don't know. Follow my gut, even though it seems illogical, or follow logic?
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>>17967227
Just ask her out already!
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>>17967233
The big thing is that I tried meeting up with her in the past, and she always seemed enthusiastic, but will shy away from committing to a day.

But she also shows a lot of signs of interest anyway.
>>
IM GUNNA ASK YOU OUT BY SUNDAY ATLEAST. ROCK CONCERT FIRST DATE. HOPE I DONT FUCK UP. I WILL PROB BE DEPRESSED FOR A MONTH AT LEAST.
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>>17967240
>>17967233
But I do plan on making it more known, and saying this after I ask about how her Certification went, "How about you let me take you out to celebrate after work Saturday."
>>
You live so close by -- we could be having sex every single night, if you were up for it. It would be so much fun. I'd feel so good, endorphine high, adrenaline high or whatever. It would be really fantastic. I was so attracted to you, and fuck . . . it's just so convenient . . . even now, I know you're only about 100 feet away from me . . . I could come over right now and we could . . . all night . . . I really hate you for denying me that.
>>
I wish you were in my arms right now
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fuk u m8
I'm tired of your shit
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>>17967273
u wot u fukn cunt?
u wanna hava go at it m8?
>>
I wanna fucking cum. I wanna pour my hot seed in a warm womb, a loose bitch, shove my generation deep into most vulnerable spot as my swimmers thrust toward her eggs. I wanna feel how tight and snug my dick is up against her snatch, pressing deep against her as I complete the ritual of copulation. I just wanna cum deep inside and into a warm hole.


But I can't, I got a cut on my dick from furiously masturbating in the dry cold air so I need to hold off from masturbating for a few days. Anybody knows how long I should hold off for so it completely heals?

I've been jacking it despite the cut and it isn't helping it heal. I am stopping cold turkey and already I"m going crazazy.
>>
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Made a new k i k to ghost my "ex lover" (?) and it didn't work..... 2 people from my old account found me and I had hidden my privacy and used a new email. Now that I think about it I should have downloaded a free texting app and used a different phone number..... I need some FICKEing space from this guy. Preferably space on my face or inside my pu-........

I should have married my first bf of 5 years. I'm really regretting that because he could make me cum.
>>
I'm going mad but I'm afraid of what they'll do to me if I try to go to a psychiatrist
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>>17967171
I can't stop loving you, sweetheart. I just can't.
You will always be in my thoughts.
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>>17967318
They'll prescribe you lots of mandatory pills to take which are super expensive, and if you refuse to take them, they'll drag you away to one of their facilities where you can be treated like a wild animal, fed copious amounts of mind-numbing drugs, and experimented on.

It's your call, I guess.
>>
I'm tired of being a competitor in the game of love. I want to be the prize.
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I just want to disappear. To no longer be a nuisance and a burden to the people I care about. They'd be better off without me. I'm not worth their time. I never was in the firstplace.
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>>17967334
>I'm not worth their time.
You should probably do something to fix that.
>>
I love you, stop fretting about your weight. Who cares about a few pounds, you're as sexy as ever. I gave you the passwords to my email, fb and phone, you have seen that the other men I contact are family, childhood friends and colleagues. You're the only man I want to be with. I lost weight and grew my hair really long because YOU said you liked it. Of course I want to look beautiful for you!

I don't give a shit about other guys at this point. Please stop worrying and making yourself so blue. I want you to be happy! And most of all I want you to know that you are very loved.
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>>17967351
Stop making everyone else feel bad.
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>>17967171
Get it off my chest?
Fuck off

I have no future because I'm 5'2
So I'd rather start shooting up schools
I wish I was dead, slashing my solar plexus
Because I can't run back to my favourite missus

I'm making a fucking mistake
Deeper than the crazy russian lake
Everyone so fake, so baked, and I can't compensate

I have a small penis, thanks god
I'd appreciate it
If I didn't get a small shaft
that get laughs
from every female
that can sass

I can write programs named after you all day
poems, songs, and even fucking plays
but will you ever look at me. no
because it'd be awkward if you wore highheels, right?
>>
>>17967351
The lies....
THEY BURN!
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>>17967171
My graduate school advisor was fucking the love of my life while married and simultaneously stole my first love and career prospects from me.
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>>17967295
Hahahahahaha wtf do you two know each other
>>
My mom is dating my boss. They say they are friends, but I've seen the WhatsApp msgs..

What the fuck am i supposed to do?
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>>17967171
how can i say how i feel
i dont want to hurt you but im not happy
i dont like the life we have together
i want a change
i want to break up with you if you aren't willing to be a part of that change
i hate watching movies and talking about work
lets talk about life or anything and enjoy each other deeply

i dont want to just make small talk with you for the rest of our lives. talk to me
talk to me with the real you, the one inside, the one i love
not the shell you have created to allow you to exist, give me your soul
i need it for this relationship to survive
>>
I hate this.
Please stop bugging me.
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>>17967373
A) Exploit the fuck out of it
2) Exploit the fuck out of it
C) Exploit the fuck out of it
4) All of the above.
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>>17967334
No matter what you feel and think right now, you have worth and value just for existing. You're a beautiful human being even though you don't believe it right now. Tell them how you're feeling.
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>>17967171
there it goes
*ring*
is this it
i want to die
>>
I saw you today. The pain is still raw.
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>>17967171
Kinda just wanna get kidnapped severely tortured and eventually killed by a nice looking tall aryan guy
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>>17967407
D-do I need to wear protection?
>>
He's perfect and it's driving me insane I have to wait until Friday so I can make my moves. I haven't been romanced in over a month, haven't had my emotional needs even longer bc the last guy I was seeing couldn't handle it or me.

Can't stand whores. Don't stand there and tell me you want to see other dames after I treated you like you're on a throne. I was content on being below and beside you but nothing I have ever done for you was good enough. I just want to forget and move on and spend the rest of my twenties in a romantic cheesy relationship that people cringe over.

Dude depicted above is a hopeless romantic like myself who has all the alpha traits of my-the past guy except he doesn't want to bang a bunch of college whores to be ALPHA BRO. He likes traditional girls, like me. He loves my heart shaped home cooked meals, my tummy and curves. He likes lifting with me and talking politics almost as much as the last guy but he gives me a chance to speak even if I don't sound as educated as he does. He likes me to smile and sends me sweet things when I'm sad. I wake up to nice texts and we fall asleep talking to one another.

He tells me he feels like he's known me his entire life and we have a bond; that he wants to see me well and is motivated to help me.

He even calls me by my made up nickname.

It's like I've started completely over and found what I wanted in someone who can actually give me what I crave. It's bittersweet. I thought I could wait but people won't change unless they want to and honestly, I don't trust the last guy after he talked about belt notches. My mum is a whore. I would never sink so low as to waiting for someone to want me after they bang a bunch of other girls. It's revolting and he should feel ashamed. I'm glad he never comes here though. I don't talk to my family and friends about my issues and I constantly ghost on people when I get this way. I can safely autistically scream here and no one gives a shit.

Thanks /adv/ anons.
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>>17967412
No. That'll just get in the way.
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>>17967407
she walked the wrong way, huh

shouldn't have tried. friend
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>>17967416
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>>17967420
To feel is human. In a sense, I'm glad I feel the raw pain. Wish it was in pain with someone with a chain around my neck.
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>>17967386
Tell them.
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>>17967414
Good luck I mean it but becarfull of the Alfa guy I know it's been my experience that they end up cheating ...or at least all the ones I know do and tell me about it all of them...maybe my friends are fucked up or maybe it's human nature because these people are honorable men generally but it's something different with sex I don't get it. I'm not gonna tell you to date something your not into but betas like me who actually try their hardest but just suck socially would not do that kind of thing but to each their own it's just a warning...
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It's been a good 6 months since I've hooked up with any girls. I used to go hard on the dating apps to find girls to smash, but I got so bored with it that I deleted everything. I think I want an actual relationship/dating with someone. How do normal people date without apps?

I think I just want a girl I can be close with, which is something I've never had
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>>17967171
I love Emma Watson and I'd sell my soul to Mephistopheles to be able to be with her
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>>17967444
Eugh. She looks so.... English.
What do you like about her, aside from her looks?
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>>17967171
You're so fucking confusing. I don't know if I'm just biased and it's warping my perspective, or if you're genuinely fucked.

You're going on dates with this girl, hanging out at each others houses and spending the night, yet in my company, you insist you're not dating her. Why are you trying to string me along? I'll still love you as a person even if you're off the market.

I'm not sure if you're dismissing your budding relationship because she's rejecting you and you're bitter (doesn't really seem like it, she let you stay at her house), you're rejecting her and don't want to stay committed to her (also unlikely, you were so emotionally invested into her before), or you give the biggest shit about the semantics of your relationship (well, we haven't /defined/ it yet so...) and are willing to embarrass yourself by denoting your single-ness when it was assumed otherwise, but it hurts, man.

You're still flirty with me, you still emphasis your availability to me, but you know I can't do anything about it right now. Both of us can't. Are you just spending time with this chick to bide your time? I know that sounds so egocentric of me, that I'm of this much importance to you, but it's what you've led me to believe. Maybe you're not doing any of this intentionally, you mean no harm...but you know I like you, right? I'm not sure if you're just saying your single to spare my feelings (hah) or what.

It's weird. To ease my mind I'm gonna presume you were just being politically correct, and didn't want to publicly define the relationship as you dating her if you haven't made it official yet. Goddamnit...there's a reason I haven't been asking how your weekend was. I was afraid of her still being in your life.
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I know I should just give you up, but it's hard to do. Now I can't tell if I've pushed you farther away by trying to talk to you or we're in the same place we have been for the last month. I have this funny daydream in my head that you'll text me someday soon asking for help with homework or something dumb like that. I'm waiting and holding on to hope that I've created in my brain. I don't know, I guess I just want you back or at least to have a conversation with you.

Most of all, I wish I knew if was really me or you. If it's me, then I can just let go. If it's you then I sit here holding onto the idea that when you get better you'll contact me again. Sometimes I feel like you're fucking with me and using me. Sometimes I feel like I'm being a clingy dumbass who just won't give you enough space. I just can't get a read. The only thing I should be doing is waiting, but I can't help but think there's something I should be saying or doing to make this go quicker.

I miss spending time together, I hope we get to again someday.
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>>17967476
Rereading what I wrote, this makes you come across as a total flirt, a player.

You're really fucking not though, you're incredibly awkward and silly.

Or again, maybe I'm biased...

...dude, I love you, but if you're leading me on, you're a fucking dick. I really like you and there's nothing I can do about it...don't rub it in my face like this...

(the beard isn't helping either...again I don't know if I'm just being egocentric here, but I swear to god you somehow found out of my infatuation with facial hair...it's killing me...you're so fucking handsome, someone's going to sweep you up...)
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>>17967497
I'm still monolouging about this...fuck, I wish I had somebody to talk to...I wish it was never brought up, I wish I didn't fucking hear about her again... I don't ask for a fucking reason...fuck...

You see no issue with it though...I mean... S brought up seeing you around town and you thought he told me that already. You only interjected when he said you were with your "girlfriend"...you interjected very seriously, might I add. The tone of the conversation changed quite noticeably. The rest of us were perturbed as to why you had to put such an emphasis, no harm could've been done in the now by assuming you two were a thing. Maybe it was directed towards him, so he doesn't blow your chances by mentioning it in front of her? I hope it's not that, but I also sort of do. I don't want to be involved. I just wish I never even fucking heard it. I went...what... a week without hearing some allusion to her? I mean, it doesn't help that you never mention her by name. Just "that girl" or "somebody"...it's fucking me up.

I feel like a psycho by how much I'm reading into one encounter, but it's not just one encounter. You've been pulling this "woe is me, single life" bullshit for so long now, and you've gotta know I want you.

Tomorrow, or whenever I'm somewhat alone with you next, I'm confessing. It'll be roundabout as all get out, but you're shrewd, I hope that you can put the pieces together and figure it out.

...man...I'm so serious right now, I wish I didn't even know...I didn't even expect this to come up...
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How do I stop myself from masturbating? I cut my dick from too much friction. I need it to heal but all I wanna do is cum
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>>17967476
>>17967497
>>17967528

Best of luck anon. I hope it turns out well.
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>>17967541
Thank you, seriously. It means a lot.
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>>17967441
Betas are great, too. I'd rather have a beta all to myself than share an alpha with other girls
>>
I've been drinking a lot, doing a lot of drugs and fucking hookers weekly recently. Not to mention the many, many bitches i find on tinder. Wife left me a few months back.
I'm not depressed or anything, in fact I feel great. I spend a lot of money on myself and do whatever the fuck I want.

We all die at some point. Might as well go like a comet. Live fast, love fast, shine my brightest before I go out in style.
Why live a long and dull life?
This carriage got no brakes.
>>
>
Girls with lots of tattoos are like buildings with lots of graffiti: They're ugly, empty, easy to enter, and usually filled with things that are hazardous to your health.
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>>17967579
Inaccurate but everyone is entitled to their own opinion
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>>17967595
Do you have tattoos? If so, does any listed apply to you? How many?
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>>17967579
I do have tattoos but have only been with 2 males in my entire life (I'm 23), the first guy had 2 tattoos and we were together for 5 years, the second was heavily tattooed and I chased him over 2 years and destroyed my life 2 or 3 times to be close to him. Idk why I did that. My tattoos don't make me insane I know it's just my infatuation with him (was the same way with my first bf but this guy wasn't even my bf - I was just "a gril he lived with and fucked").

I've done some growing and my legs are tired from chasing people. I don't want to be chased either. I found something organic and I want to make things work. I hope guy is happy banging whoever he wants he deserves happiness.

I've never been told I'm ugly I've always been told I'm attractive and can have attention from anyone I want. I work out and eat like a bird. I'm not easy to enter, not at all. I like to take things slow, form a connection over time and see where it goes. I've never engaged in a one night stand before. The only thing I'm filled with that could be considered hazardous or toxic would be my delusions and low self esteem but my tattoos don't have any part in that. I've been like that before my tattoos.
>>
Shit one day i'll acept I like more pussy than dick, I hope I don't have children and a family by then

Can't blame you, you're amazing and a great man, probably a great father someday, I'm the coward here
>>
I fucked a vacuum cleaner and now there is blood in my urine.
Pls help, I'm afraid.
>>
You sure are full of shit.
>>
I thought looking through your facebook might be bad for me. I thought maybe I'd just fall in love with you again. But you're so, so far gone from who you used to be. The woman I loved is dead, and given how much you have changed, maybe she never existed. You'll be an entirely different woman for your fourth man, if the third doesn't work out. Now I know why you empathised so much with that scene from gone girl, the "cool girl" monologue.

You were doing it to me.

I'd have rather seen who you really are, even if it meant we never got anywhere.
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>>17967645
WELL I WOULD'VE CHOSEN TO BE FILLED WITH SPRINKLES, BUT THAT WASN'T EXACTLY AN OPTION ON THE FORM!
>>
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>>17967637
Someone pls advice.
I'm fucking panicking.
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>>17967549
Funny cause my beta ex cheated on me. If anything I'd say they're more likely to cheat since they're not used to getting attention
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>>17967682
Oh geez 4chan is making me think a LTR is impossible with any variation of white men
>>
>>17967645
Truth hurts duder. Consider both perspectives.
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>>17967677
Oh, yeah.

You should be alright, you won't die or anything. You may be living with incontinence, and impotence for a while though. Nothing surgery can't fix.
>>
>>17967489
Females are hard to understand. If I was you I'd let her know you care but I think it's unfair of you to wait on a female if she's going out banging other dudes. If she's improving herself and is exclusive to you that's different but distance ultimately plays a huge role in situations such as this. If she's too far, let go and find yourself. Someone will find you in time.
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>>17967689
No not really compared to a compulsive liar which makes everything complicated, people who say that are too emotional to get that there's less drama of its just told truthfully.
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>>17967700
Why did you get involved with a compulsive liar anon. Does the person even know they're a compulsive liar? My mom lies a lot and I understand now after being away from home for so long that she's too far gone and has no idea what she's doing is negatively impacting our tribe
>>
>>17967697
Out of all the posts I've made and friends I've talked to I think that's the advice that hit home the hardest, in a good way. Thanks, anon, I really appreciate it.
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>>17967707
Look up the word conniving.
>>
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>>17967694
>incontinence, and impotence
That doesn't calm me one bit!
I had no trouble controlling my peeing though, and I managed to jack off just now with no trouble.
The slight ache in my balls is probably psychosomatic.
Maybe I'll be just fine. (pls god let me be just fine).
>>
>>17967734
Seems like an all around terrible person if they know what they're doing is wrong!!!!!
>>
>>17967763
You'll only really know once the swelling goes down, I suppose.

Just sleep on it for now.
>>
You sure are full of shit. And still a piece of shit for not even attempting to be honest no wonder why your family doesn't give two single shits about you, they know exactly who and how you are.
>>
>>17967773
There is no swelling though.
Just aching, but I have had my balls ache previously too, for seemingly no reason, so I am only slightly worried about that.
My main concern is that the suction fucked up the internal tubing of my dick, somehow. I dunno if that is even possible though.
>>
>>17967783
Yeah, that's what I was talking about though.
If you've strained the urinary sphincter and damaged the vas deferens duct, once the swelling goes down, you may lose control.
>>
My ex girlfriend didnt want me to go traveling with her in july for 1 year. And as a result I broke it off with her ( 3 hours ago to be exact).

For the last few days I knew it was the right decision and I still do. But seeing her face when she left the house tonight killed me. This girl was my first everything, and we've done so much together.

I feel like shit but at the same time, I know it was the right thing to do.
>>
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>>17967809
Oh god!
Can it heal naturally?
>>
*get it out your chest*
ALLAHU AKBAAAARRR!!
>>
I'm not obsessed with somebody right now and its driving me crazy ahhhhhh
>>
>>17967853
Don't spiral into obsession.
>>
I'm part of a white nationalist group but i let black men fuck my wife.
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>>17967864
Gross
>>
I really want to come talk to you and explain what happened all those months ago, why I got so sad and hurt. But, will you listen? More than anything right now, I just want to be able to talk to you and for you to listen to me with respect and tenderness. Will you?

The last time I saw you, you seemed so cold. But it's hard to tell with you. Do you remember how close we used to be?

You know, I just want you to know the truth about me and why I felt the way I felt. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything. I just want you to know who I really am.

I hope God will help me and show me the right thing to do and give me a chance to talk to you. I could write you right now and just ask to come over, but I'm not sure if that would have a good effect. I guess I need to see you again and decide. You also seemed really distant online last time we exchanged messages, although we have talked so little since all that bad stuff happened that I just can't tell.

I just want to talk to you. My gut and my heart says you'll understand that it's important and you'll listen to me, but my head has so many doubts.
>>
>>17967888
Do it. No regrets
>>
I have a massive crush on this girl but shes 13 and I'm 16 and I'm really scared that I might be a pedophile or some shit
>>
>>17967864
interesting ?
>>
I cannot wait until you pay off your phone so that email connected to it can be deleted. I'm tired of finding remenants of the past in the search results just because Google is buggy and haven't worked out that when you delete search history, you want it to stay deleted.
>>
>>17967888
>>
You make me feel so alone sometimes, W.
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>>17967917
The W I know does it too :(
>>
I'm gay and can't come to terms with it because of my love of traps. I've finally realized how gay traps are.
>>
>>17967938
Duh...wtf
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>>17967893
I'm 18 and I like a 24 year old, you've got no idea man.
>>
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Long term gf just told me pretty definitely that she doesn't want to have kids and would rather adopt some time when she's older. I feel all numb inside.
>>
>>17968014
Break up and find a traditional woman

I can't wait to have babies
>>
>>17968014
Poke a hole in the condom
>>
>>17968024
Well she did say "unless we have an accident." That... that's an invitation right?
>>
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Well what the hell is this?

Maybe i really had a severe depression and i was the only one denying it

I don't like taking these meds but well the first pill is just to help me go to sleep , but the second one, i only tried half of a pill today, but somehowit gave me something really similar to that boost i used to get whenever i saw her smile

well i guess that medicine is really helping me somehow and it also kept the depressive toughts away for today, and unlike the shit my ex classmates tried to give me, this medicine is not taking the good voices in my head away

i don't know, i just feel a little weird, im starting to feel really good like how i was back then before that shitstorm happened, but i just that my optimism is not natural like before

still if this is giving me the boost i need to come back, ill take it, with the help of this, and all the free time i have right now, in six months when i enter a way better school things are gonna be great

now that my mind is way more clear i realize that coming back home was the right choice, god knows in what kind of shithole my ex classmates are right now, i guess i'll find out in 6 months
>>
>>17968045

She's being realistic.... make it happen
>>
You lied about everything. I asked if you met someone new, you said no. You had me worried about your well being, calling and texting you only to make sure that you were doing okay. You were fine, you met someone else and kept me around for what? I already know the answer, you kept me around and lied about not seeing anyone else because if it didnt work out with the two of you, you would still have me by your side.
Now that I know this , I like you less everyday. You hid me away, always looking for someone/thing better and you think you found her. If you would of just been honest with me & replied back "yes I met someone else",I would of respected that.
It has been bittersweet.
You used me & tryed to make me feel like I was the one in the wrong. You'll realize sooner or later that leaving me that way you did was not only immature, but also a coward move.
I dont want you, I wanted us to act our age and remain civil towards it other. But you messed that up as well, by making up stories and lies to me and about me to othet people.
I am not tryiny to sound conceited but I know that you will try to come back to me... I will never take you back, as a lover or a friend. You dont deserve me. You fucked up
>>
Why can't I get over someone I knew in middle school? I don't understand.
>>
Getting kind of tired; bed.
Can't wake up too early; sleepyhead.
If she wakes me up again; dead.
Vision without beauty sleep; red.
>>
After having some time to think about it. Thank you for teaching me that you were not worth my time. 10 years tossed into the trash because you wanted it so. Whatever, I will hurt, I know I will. I will miss you, but I will take this time to grow and at least become happy with myself.

I am worth something. I will adapt and persevere.
I feel completely devastated, the only person I cared about and trusted with the deepest parts of myself. You trusted me and I held the same for you. Still, like you said, people change.
I changed, and so did you.

You became untrustworthy, held back so much. So you walked away from me, I love how you tried to turn it all on me. That the abortion was because you didn't want the baby in the way of my life. Kek. When you were the one saying you didn't want it. When you said you didn't want to give up your life. Then it became me?

Consider yourself lucky that I have some self control. Some. Were I more petty man, your Catholic mother would have been told about the abortion and as you told me, she would likely never forgive you.

I still have the test, and all the texts sent from your number telling me about how you aborted on my birthday. I also have all the dirtier stuff, maybe some day. Not today.
>>
I'm still in love with this girl from a few years ago. Back when we were dating, all I thought about was sex and if any woman found me attractive enough, I could fuck em. I made a big mistake and everyday I wonder what our life would be like if I was as mature as I am today. I don't want someone who will give me only sex, and she gave me laughs and experiences. She was the one girl I truly loved and because I was a selfish prick, I hurt her. I wish I could take it back, but now we're going separate ways and I know I'll never talk to her again. I'm the embodiment of shit
>>
I've had five friends ask me to have sex with them this last month. I shot all of them down, but I'm actually really mad at this whole situation. None of them were cool about it. They made a huge deal out of it. They put so much pressure on me, talking about how I'm the only one they'd consider hooking up or how sexual release is all they need. One even was doing this behind her boyfriend, my friend's back.

And most of them just made me feel bad about turning them down. I'm tired of being expected to feel bad about my feelings. I don't wanna have sex with you, I'm fucking sorry.
>>
I am not broken anymore, just lonely. In time, I will feel normal again, but as for now I will continue to fear a life of solitude. I want so much to be a part of something great..to have kids, have a truly loving partner in life. I fear that while self improvement is helpful, I won't ever be up to par to attract anything more than drug addicts and fuckboys. I wish I could have just remained naive, before I realized that optimism is just a waste of breath.
>>
Just feel like shit with a bunch of stuff and when ever I attempt to fantasize about a women I end up reminding myself I'll be alone relationship wise for along time
>>
You're the one who was terrible and a pathological liar, yet I'm the one who's here writing this, still wishing for you in my fleeting moments of weak reminiscence. I fuckin' hate you. And I miss you, which just emphasizes the pathetic nature of this situation. Why do I feel like I'm the only one who's still missing what we had when you were so dramatic and wouldn't let me break away? Fuck. Just fuck you, and fuck the fact that you'll never read this and fuck everything that ever happened between me and you. I wish I could throw you into a fucking well.
>>
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>>17968111
Haha.
>>
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D,

https://youtu.be/xKiJE6-GbaY
-J
>>
When I was a kid, like third or fourth grade, I rode the bus to and from school everyday. Whenever I got on and off the bus I always felt very, very nervous as well as intensly guilty for holding everyone up. I was the only one that got on/off at my stop and felt like everyone was watching me and waiting impatiently (not to say that I was impatient with others getting on/off). I did this routine every single school day for a few years.

Aound the same time I read a passage for first communion during mass. Before going up to the mic to read like two sentences, I felt my heart pound out of fear like I never have sense. I played basketball in high school and worked my body very hard (vommited from running in practice 10+ times because my coach literally modeled his style after Sergeant Hartman from FMJ and I was fortunate enough to be his Gomer Pyle) but my heart never came close to this beating from that. Standing in front of the congregation my heart felt like it was going to burst out my chest like a xenomorph because I was scared to fuck up a few words I ended up reading perfectly.

At that time I was also very self-conscious about a small mole under my right nostril. This continued until 8th grade when the class president humiliated me for it. It was small enough that most people never noticed it until she did. Her and another kid made a reference to Austin Powers and laughed at me for 10 minutes (we were in the student council class so I couldn't leave or anything). Fortunately I was never self-concious about it again after that because that evening I cut the mole off with a steak knife in my kitchen at 2 am. And as fucked up as this sounds I'm glad it happened as I would still be very self-conscious about it if it were on my face.

The same level of self-consiousness goes for my ears that stick out (fortunately my head has kind of grown into them) and my 5.5 inch dick. I thought about that shit every single day up until a couple years ago (I'm 21 btw).
>>
>>17968134

There was also this habit I had in high school where I'd make bets with myself. I'd think "okay if you hit 55 on this residential road you're going to get in A in biology (I graduated with a 4.0)" or "if you hand count this container of toothpicks you'll get an A on the next math test." It wasn't like I enjoyed driving fast (drove a grandma car that got me made fun of) or had fun wasting an hour counting toothpicks, I just did it because I thought that if I didn't I deserved to blow the gpa I'd worked so hard for (a gpa that got me nothing. I could have gotten into this university with a 3.0 and not taken any of the 20 honors courses I aced).

I also have never had any real friends. Through the years I've had numerous best friends and been part of plenty of circles, but not one of those people really cared about me nor did really care about them. If I was missing from an event none of my friends would notice.

The 3 best friends I've had were people my all my age and I looked up to them. Even they didn't like me much (only hung out with me as a last resort). One of them was particularly shitty to me and I ended up suddenly severing ties. He didn't even bother to ask me why I stopped talking to him after hanging out every weekend for 2 years.

This was the same guy that stole money from me, would tell me to come hang out just so we could go to his gfs house so I could sit in her room while they made out (she even blew him on while I was in the room) and ditched me (imagine a cuck being abandoned by his wife) to hang out with other people more than once. I needed him though as I had no other options for friends and couldn't bear being a loner.
>>
>>17968137

I never got a gf in high school because of how I prioritized my grades and and because playing football and basketball took so much time and energy. Even if I had tried to get one I'm not sure what I would have done. My high school had less than 1000 people and there were a lot of poor kids. I grew up comfortably middle class and hung out with the other middle class people that also played sports. That was like 30 people, mostly guys. The 8 or so girls all were on and off with guys from other high schools or had long term bfs. Looking back I should have tried for girls from another high school, but between school shit and my inability to take a selfie for Facebook I killed that possibility.

There's a bunch of other shit that happened, but these are the most significant I can remember atm.

I'm wondering if anyone can tell me what was wrong with me and how does it relate to me being a colossal fuck up today?

I could be a very normal person. I'm 6' 2", blonde/blue eyes, and have been told by acquaintances and girls on omegle that I'm good looking. My younger siblings are/will be far more successful and normal. One is a division I athlete and the other will be in a couple years. Both of them have had multiple bfs/gfs and are driven.
>>
>>17968141

Today I'm a 21 year old virgin attending a state university. I have no friends and procrastinate out the ass (habit I've built up since 6th grade. I used to just stay up until 4/5 am now I regularly pull all-nighters just so that I can masterbate, watch YouTube and browse /int/ for "one more hour."). I'm lonely as fuck and feel pathetic for posting this instead of doing math homework. I also have this compulsion to say/type out ridiculous shit like this. Does writing a transcript of my thoughts make me feel good out of loneliness or am I an attention-seeking egoist? I hope that a girlfriend will take away these feelings and make me normal.

I don't know, at least I'm better off than I was in high school. Going to those basketball practices for 3 years was the most dreadful thing I've ever done. Every night I'd stay up until 3 am watching videos on my phone because I knew as soon as I went to sleep the next thing I would experience is a 7 am alarm, a full day of school and then 3 hours of hell.

I know this bullshit doesn't compare to the depression and self-harm states a lot you have experienced and continue to battle, but my life as an absolute failure of a normie has really sucked.
>>
Woman, I just want to fucking marry you.

I genuinely don't know what I would do without you being in my life every single day. You are pretty much one of the few reasons I am still going, and the going is not getting any better at this point.

I really don't want you to read this because I'm scared it would absolutely destroy what we have, and I absolutely love what we have right now. I just don't know how much long I can take. Society is knocking on the door and my brain and telling me to get the rest of my fucking life started, but I want you to be there with me. I'm tired of being alone. Please.
>>
>>17968080
I'm feeling so close to you. I'm not sure I could say I was in love with the girl.
But I have strong feelings for her, I thought I was over her, but I'm not, and she's with someone else and doesn't want to be with me anymore.

We were each others firsts.

I don't know what to do about this, she's always on my mind.

Any tips on how to get over her? (People in the thread)
>>
>>17968158
Get yourself together and go get her anon.

Or tell her how you feel and start making moves together.
>>
Did you honestly think that things will be different? You're having the same arguments and shit has not changed. She really is just using you, boy. I am not here to help you see that
>>
If you like me and actually want to be with me, ask me out. We don't work together anymore.
You know how I feel about you, and you've told me how you feel about me.
We've talked about the future, but you dance around this shit like we've got all the time in the world.

I'm honestly ready to bounce and just be friends or something. More like casual acquaintances, really. You don't ever seem to wanna hang out with me even though you like me.

I want someone else because you're willing to do more for everyone else but yourself and me.
>>
>>17967171
I'm going to eat alone at a restaurant tomorrow to help tear down the fact that I care so much about what others think about me. I just want to do solitary things, and I have a coupon for this place but no one I talk to wants to go with me.

I'm going to eat alone even if I have the impression that its like going to the movie theater alone.
>>
>>17968199
It's only weird because you're making it weird. I eat alone almost every day of my life.
>>
>>17968199

You know how Ricky Fitz from American Beauty is ultra confident? You think doing this kind of solitary shit in the face of societal norms can make a person get that level of confidence?
>>
>>17968206
Is there some kind of etiquette to eating out alone? like should I ask for a bar seat or would a booth be fine?

its just a steakhouse
>>
I see you online, respond to my message damn it, if you're not interested then sure but let's not dance around it.
>>
I think my ex is simply incapable to feel empathy. He cheated on me, lied, fucked other people while I still wasn't sure if we should break up, treated me like garbage, blackmailed me and said the nastiest shit anyone ever has said to me... but he wants to be friends with me?? Is he some kind of sociopath or what? Yeah we did have good chemistry, but he fucking ruined everything. This happened months ago and my self worth is still damaged and I often have nightmares about it. But here he is wanting to be buddies. I just can't.
>>
>>17968213
Sometimes diner type restaurants will prefer you to sit at the bar. It's really according to how busy they are. If you're self conscious though, the bar is usually the place where it's most appropriate to at alone. Trust me, no one's going to think anything of it.
>>
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I'm starting to think my neighbor is trying to kill me or something. He watches me whenever I spend an extended amount of time outside and waits until I take out my garbage to walk directly behind me to take out his. Last week he was watching when another neighbor tried to do the same as him but really badly because I heard him coming and jumped about 10 feet away as the man tried to speedwalk to where I was standing two seconds ago. Today really took the cake when I happened to catch that old man running out of his apartment towards me with something behind his back. I got back in my car and drove a few feet away and he stopped and casually went back inside.

My family keeps acting like I'm just being antisocial and crazy but it's not normal for someone who refuses to speak to you to repeatedly try to approach you from behind. It also doesn't help that this dumpster is placed at the foot of a wooded area.
>>
>>17968244
Did we date the same guy? My ex cheated on me multiple times, lied to some people about our relationship and then told others that we were like a happily married couple while not even wanting to deal with me at home unless we were having sex. When I found his cheating texts saying that he was tired of being in a relationship with me, he got mad I didn't want to "work it out" and stay together. We break up and he admits he feels like he hates women and was miserable having to deal with me. But then flips his shit when he sees me hanging out with other men afterward and starts talking about us being together again or at least being friends. I don't understand why the most fucked up of men insist on imposing themselves on women who don't deserve to be tortured by them.
>>
>>17968148
If it's helpful for you at all. What you seem to have done during high school seems pretty much super human to me. Two sports clubs and still getting a 4.0?
That's rather impressive. You can also clearly paraphrase what's going on in your head. I always lose half of what's going on in my head. So from my point of view you have something going there.
And finally, you are 21. I know there are people who seem to have everything perfectly together already, but there are many who don't.
I'm 23 and still fighting with procrastination everyday and have no idea what I'm doing with my life.
>>
>>17968311
>he got mad I didn't want to "work it out" and stay together

Yup, that's what happened to me too haha! He called me inconsiderate for thinking of breaking up. Lol. I guess there's some sort of pattern for this kind of men. As much as it sucked for you it feels a bit comforting knowing I'm not the only one who went through that nonsense. Hope you're doing better now
>>
Damn it man, my parents wont agree if they found out about us or if you decided to break up with her then you latch on to me they still wont accept it, what do i do? I really like you i really like this and i know you know we're both pretty great together, its only been 2 months and i cant just throw you away.....should i?
>>
>>17968321

Yeah, I'm good at some things, but I'm totally dysfunctional socially. Me being a virgin and currently having no friends is fucking me up and there's no end in sight. This dysfunction has to stem from some deeper problem and I'm just hoping I can root that out.

Also, sure I'm in the boat of "don't know what to do with my life" but I'm also in the club of "tfw no gf." It's especially shit because the gf vacancy isn't off-set by weird porn, anime and video games like a lot of virgins my age.

I'm stuck with lifting weights, my school work and vanilla internet browsing. Every other person who puts up with this boring shit at least has friends.

Thanks for your response though. Getting this shit out of my head feels good and knowing that I'm somewhat relateable is reassuring.
>>
Just feel like shit all the time because all the mistakes I have done in my life and always have thoughts of suicide. Shit, I even have a specific day in the future to just end it all. Robbed of all my money. Have a problem where I just start coughing up blood once in a while and the doctors don't know what is wrong.
>>
>>17968339
Well, I'm still recovering but a big part of that was getting past blaming myself. Especially when he refused to improve anything in our relationship that didn't concern his penis. And I hope you realize that him being fucked up is not your fault either. He was fucked in the head and needed to take it out on someone to make himself feel better. History and chemistry goes way out the window once someone starts treating you like crap and making you doubt your self-worth.

This may sound cheesy, Anon but always put yourself and your feelings first. Someone who loves you won't accept you feeling bad about yourself because it will hurt them as well. So somebody who makes you feel like shit and feels happy about it is someone who does not love you. Don't forget that.
>>
>>17968370
>Me being a virgin

That actually matters to nobody.
>>
>>17967318
They'll offer you meds after a psych evaluation and recommend a therapist, unless you make it clear you're a danger to yourself/others then you might be institutionalized.
>>
>>17968409

It matters to me. I've always been alone, my entire life no one has been close to me. My family's distant, I've never had real friends and I've never been intimate with a girl. I'm lonely and it fucking sucks.
>>
>>17968406
>Especially when he refused to improve anything in our relationship that didn't concern his penis

Yup yup that's how it was too. I wish I'd read this a year ago! It took me way too long to realize it wasn't my fault. He always blamed me for everything, even the cheating. I was trying so hard I went against all my values for him. I still regret that. Everything's a lesson though.
And the things he said to me still sting. He went for my biggest insecurities with no mercy. Incredibly, he wouldn't understand why I didn't want to talk to him after that. He said I probably found a new guy. Now that I type it out it's unbelievable. He just never, ever acknowledged he did anything wrong.

Anyway thank you for the lovely words. I'll try to keep them in mind. It's nice to talk to someone that understands. You too, don't forget that ever.
>>
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I invaded your life for selfish reasons. I was so eager to get a gf for the first time I forgot that you were human too. I used the experience to better myself while putting you further into depression.
I was the one who started, crashed, and burned the already slim chance we had of making it work.
I know I said we'll never speak again. But i hope one day we can both laugh over how stupid those three days were.
Sorry, Iz
>>
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I had a strange dream last night. Its a bit of a read.

I was in the Russian countryside driving in a car offroad paralell to train tracks. There was someone in the passenger seat of the car, and there was another car driving alongside us. We were level with a train which was blowing its horn. The train had turrets on it similar to a tank. It didnt look particularly modern. One of the turrets fired and hit the car I was in; the scene shifted from the dream world to a screen of black, as though it should have text on it like command prompt. Then, the black drained away into a single line in the centre horizon, which then started to contract to a single point like when you turn off a CRT tv. This was followed by an intimidating wailing noise, after the line had become a single dot, as though my life was draining away. The dot vanished leaving behind a flat pane of grey with nothing else. I had a strange feeling as though I had just died and my body was going through the process of emptying itself of my conciousness. After seeing the grey pane for a few seconds, I woke up. I dont usually wake in the night. I went back to sleep shortly after.
>>
>>17968557
Cool dream.
>>
I'm still obsessed with the girl I liked in high school. It feels like the only way to getting over her is simply finding someone better in every possible way. And I'm not even that obsessed with her either, it's just a lingering attachment that stresses me out and sometimes I have dreams about her and shit, not that I want to. I could always use dating websites but I have a nagging feeling that I need a job before that. What pisses me off though is there are tons of jobless fuck boys and deadbeats getting with a decent number of girls, and I'm just sitting here dicking about on the internet while some girl that I could hypothetically be with is getting dicked by Tyrone. I'm mad at myself of course.

Tyrone teach me your ways.
>>
>>17968741
Get a job first. Only fatties and uggos go for attractive guys with no job and no car
>>
A black guy hit on me in the apartment complex's gym and I haven't went back...

I've been working out inside the apartment and going for 4 mile runs twice a day to keep my mind off of guys. Hopefully soon I will be able to afford this gym that's close by but I need to stop being so shy and meet new friends in this area. Right wing dudes are few and far to find but I've been talking to a couple gems and I'm confident Friday things will change for the better. I'm tired of sitting idle waiting for my mom to come back. I want to save up for that motorcycle I've always wanted.
>>
I still sometimes check the instagram profile of the first (and only) girl I've had a sexual encounter with. Even though at the time, when she messaged me, I literally tried to ignore her existence afterwards.

I think that was overall a good thing cause she seems annoying and is a solid 5/10 but at the same time it's one of those things that makes me sit and think "why the fuck am I like this"
>>
Man I hate myself for trying to pretend like I should talk to that cashier girl

She is fucking paid to smile and be nice to you, stop being such a monkey you're ugly and you'll start orbiting and creeping her out like you did all of them.

I'm just so annoyed how I constantly fall in love unfairly to the other person and how it's just like wow dude you're in love with this girl that you know absolutely nothing about.

Why am I so selfish and disgusting I don't deserve happiness even I'm just dirt and should not not step out of turn.


I just wish I had some place to be in life. I suck at everything but at least I got weed and this water is fucking great too.

Man I shouldn't tell myself that I need women to be happy in life and I just used to be ugly I'm looking hot as fuck these days but I should focus on myself I can be happy without women.
>>
Life is going to be dank after half a year
>>
>>17967888
Initial?
>>
I feel such pain. But I'll rise out of this bed and go about my day again.
>>
>>17968762
THIS. Is true.
>>
>>17968083
Are you me?
>>
>>17967966
You guys have to chill. 13-16 NOT a problem just don't fuck her. 18-24 is totally age-appropriate. 30 - 37 no problem at all.

My brother, who is smart, rich, successful, attractive (not to ME but he has landed some amazing babes because he's 6'7") married a woman 5 years older. They've been married 18 years. He looks like shit, but she's STILL beautiful. A lot of the very attractive and successful men I've met in my life married women who were 4-7 years older and still absolutely adore them.
>>
>>17968271
Carry a cross body bag with a brick, sprayed filled with water or pepper spray?
>>
What are some chill movies to watch while high.
>>
Do you think it's too late for me? I mean, am I just doomed to be the person that I am?...the person in that book? It's not too late for me, is it? It's not too late, Diane. I need you to tell me that it's not too late. I need you to tell me that I'm a good person. I know that I can be selfish and narcissistic and self-destructive but underneath all that deep down, I'm a good person and I need you to tell me that I'm good. Diane, tell me. Please Diane, tell me that I'm good.
>>
>>17969273
Moon.
>>
>>17969333
What type of movie is that
>>
>>17969351
A fairly thought provoking one.
I couldn't really go into detail without spoiling it, but it's a very highly underrated film.
>>
Woke up singing a song, ever damn weird.
>>
>>17969385
I woke up yesterday with the "Game of Thrones" them song in my head, then I arranged in on piano. C-minor, Gminor Bflat minor chord change. Mashes up with everything!!
>>
>>17969273
I used to love watching movies high… some of my faves:

Fantastic Planet
2001: A Space Odessy
Angels and Insects
The Cell
The Exorcist
The Cable Guy
Bully
Looker
any MST3-K
Dario Argento's Suspiria and Inferno
Rosemary's Baby


*realizes that she's just listing her favorite films*
>>
I'm in love for the first time in my life and I can't get over this irrational crippling fear it's causing. It's sort of wonderful and awful at the same time to have something to lose for a change.
>>
>>17969456
Welcome to hell.

Proceed knowing that for all the happiness you experience moving forward, there will be an equivalent amount of sadness and despair awaiting you on the other end.
>>
>>17969467
Lmao
>>
I miss what we had. I miss you so fucking much sometimes. Oh well. Not like you feel the same
>>
>>17969495
What's his name femanon
>>
>>17969495
I think about you all the time. you never replied to my last message so i guess its done. oh well.
>>
I'm a self destructive person. Everyday I do something that'll bite me in the ass later down the road. For months, if not years I mistreated my wife until she fell for someone else and left me.
I had it coming, as I too entertained someone else in the same way, if not worse.That's the catch, as soon as my then wife left me, this someone else left me aswell.
And now I face myself all over again. I have a loving girlfriend and here I am, flirting away on these dating apps, meeting up now and then. Seeking prostitutes every chance I get.
Not to mention the rampant drinking and drug abuse.
The me from a few years back would be disgusted of my current behavior.
Every once in a while, I have moments of clarity, where I can see I'm headed down a very dark and self destructive path.
But other than these small glimpses, I indulge myself mindlessly.

This isn't a cry for help. I enjoy this debauchery far too much to let anyone stretch a helping hand my way.
I'm simply registering how I'll eventually end:
Alone and broken from my recurring mistakes.
>>
i dont know how to explain it, but it seems like the harder i try the less i get. Being a nice guy has never gotten me anywhere, and im sick of being the fucking doormat, but whenever i seem to get pissed off and lash out, im the asshole. I cant seem to get ahead in life no matter what it do. im just fucked up on so many levels. So many emotions just running wild.
>>
>>17969513
I had a pizza the other day. it was cold so i guess thats done. oh well.
>>
>>17969543

If you can't find the middle ground between being a doormat and lashing out, you might need more help than an imageboard can give you.
>>
I'm so ugly I scare people on the streets if I happen to be smiling.
>>
>>17967567
Is drinking and fucking hookers considered "shining your brightest"?
>>
>>17967627
Just admit it now
>>
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I'm miserable.
>>
>>17969547
it's deeper than that. the "lashing out" is more of a passive aggressive type thing, or a make a smart remark back.

all that aside, i feel something in me changing. I find myself rarely in a good mood, and i always seem to be a hair away from just telling people to fuck themselves more an more.
>>
>>17969545
It was probably Hawaiian too, get help.
>>
>>17969596
I like Hawaiian.
It's sweet and salty.
Why the hate?
>>
>>17969513
CaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlllllllllllllll
>>
>>17969495
Maybe if you hadn't fucking ruined everything it wouldn't be this way. Leave me alone.
>>
>>17969639
Ass
>>
I feel sad today, hell I've been sad for a while now but I can't seem to cry. I tried everything. Sad movies, sad songs, sad memories, I even went and looked at your pictures. Nothing, not a single tear.

I wanna fucking cry. I miss having emotions. Apathy is boring, I want to be sad and depressed again. Where are you? Make me suffer again, please.
>>
>>17969660
Awe. Poor thing.
>>
>>17969666
Thanks, Satan.
>>
>>17969639
What did I ruin? D=
>>
I wIsh I wasn't in a sexless relationship, being with someone I think is beautiful and knowing they don't want me physically is so painful
>>
i secretly might want to go back to the hospital
>>
Why did you have to apologize that day?
Did you really regret it?

It hurt, you know.
"It's no big deal."
Of course I have to be strong.

I told you how I felt.
Just because you can dismiss it doesn't mean it ever changed.
>>
>>17967171
stole £900 from my poor mother when i was 13 i think about it every day and feel great shame im working to pay her back
>>
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>>17967298
>I wanna fucking cum. I wanna pour my hot seed in a warm womb, a loose bitch, shove my generation deep into most vulnerable spot as my swimmers thrust toward her eggs. I wanna feel how tight and snug my dick is up against her snatch, pressing deep against her as I complete the ritual of copulation. I just wanna cum deep inside and into a warm hole.

A-anon....
>>
>>17969556
Hell yeah, motherfucker. Don't forget pot, cocaine and mindless cheating.
>>
>>17969695
Dudes a pos who left his containment board to come here to lurk. You haven't done anything, he's fucking with you.
>>
I don't think I've heard or read the phrase "rape culture" in at least a year.
>>
>>17967171
I have a micro penis.
if andro penis doesnt work i will hang myself.
>>
I am closer than I've ever been in my life to accepting that suicide is my only recourse.
>>
Ugh, I keep posting here feeling like I'm reaching out to you some how. You don't know what I'm saying, but at least it makes me feel better. I wish you would talk to me, I guess it's just over and I wish I knew why. I'm just reaching through the ether for your hand and coming up with nothing, just ending up hurt and alone.
>>
I'm enjoying my space. Feels good. You enjoying your space away from me as well? Banging a bunch of sloots I bet. You're disgusting. My stuff is tainted with whore and I don't have any desire to get it back because my brain won't allow me to think otherwise about you. Sad, really.
>>
>>17970235
I'm betting that you've been no Angel either.... Having fun with all this space;)
>>
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I finally feel like I met someone I connect with but then it turns out I only have 2-4 times to meet them to make something work

FUCK
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>>17970231
You should be careful man.
You don't want to know what kinds of shit people throw into the ether. =s
>>
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I am extremely jealous that these 2 people I met on 4chan and play videogames with are meeting together in real life and I'm basically not invited.

Has anyone else been in this situation before? I'm going on despair
>>
Is this how it's gonna be? You're just gonna ghost me? I thought we had some good times. I don't mind if you don't want to talk anymore but don't be a coward. Say it to me. You're just confusing me...
>>
You are my friend and i have been in love with you for the past two years. We're not even that close and I know a lot of people find both of us attractive, so it should have been about time I met someone new. But you're always there, in my mind. The thought of you makes me smile. Hanging out with you is just so fun. I know you used to think of me the same way I think of you, but I seriously don't know why nothing ever happened. And... Look, I really don't mind just being your friend but I'm just so scared of never falling in love ever again. I don't think I'll be able to fall for someone as deep as I fell for you. Please be with me always.
>>
>>17968048
good luck on you anon. Things will get better
>>
I'm a failure
>>
I fucking hate myself.
>>
I want to fucking die
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>>17970365
I'll keep that in mind, anon. Wouldn't want anything to bite me :o
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>>17970335

You're delusional.
>>
>>17970403
In no time you will probably be a very acclaimed film director and I will be out there probably teaching maths/trying to become an activist/selling out to some big company just to make gross amounts of cash to buy Yu-Gi-Oh merchandise. I literally became such a huge nerd for YGO because you stopped talking to me and I was so desperate and hurt I poured all of my feelings for you into Seto Kaiba and it hurts to feel this way. Whereas you stuck to your dreams and you're currently presenting projects and doing stuff film students do and actually gaining recognition from it. Do you know how hard it is to become a recognised scientist in the math field? Hell, I don't even know if I maths/physics were truly my calling because right now I'm more passionate about politics but PS students stress the hell out of me. And you're like them. You're literally a GAY intersecional male feminist who apologises for his male privilege and I'm a red-pilled, bitter tomboyish troll. I can't stand the likes of you but... i do love you. Since the moment we looked into each other's eyes for the first time I knew I FUCKING KNEW I was fucked. I didn't even know people like you existed. And then we bonded over soviet-era movies and I wanted to kiss you. And we're just like everybody else's OTP and I know you like me. Hell, I know. You sometimes talk about how it would be like if we dated. I know it bugs your mind. I just... You're gay. And I'm a girl. And I love you. And I know for a fact you've liked me quite a lot in the past. Fuck this I thought I was over you already.
>>
>>17970478
Mhm. I would be especially cautious of the short ones. They tend to bite the hardest.
>>
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i love a girl who is in a relationship with someone else and it's really fucking with my mind. she's so cool and we share so many interests/hobbies, almost feels like we were made for each other.

it was so abrupt when i found out, she really seemed into me and we were going to watch a movie with some other friends. i passed them walking down the isle of the train, some chad with his arm around her, i was kind of in shock when i saw them, i just said hey and kept walking like a tard.

eventually got the courage to go talk to them, went to their carriage and sat with them and he introduced himself as her BF, i just tried to keep my cool shook his hand + hid that i was so fucking dead inside by that point. this was 2 months ago and i still can't get over her.

thing is we always talk at college, we text a lot and when i'm around she never mentions her bf. i think she can sense that really like her. we're going to a gig together next week, first thing we've done outside of college on our own together in a long time, idk if i should try to make a move or tell her my feelings
>>
It's the guy who's gf got raped again.

I have repeatedly imagine what it was like when she got raped and get really depressed thinking about it. People joking about rape and people who say they get triggered are starting to really upset and annoy me.
>>
>>17967171
You made me feel ugly
>>
I wish you had told me how you were feeling while we were together. I would have address the issues you had with our relationship. I would have did whatever it took for you not to feel so distant and alone from me.

You didnt have to confide in another guy and then cheat on me. I really hate you for that. But I still really love you. Even despite that or you spending the weekend after our break up with him... I still I wish I could be with you.

I firmly believed you were totally worth it. Even if we were miserable at times I felt we could have overcame whatever came our way. You did make me happy. Even if we ended up in a cardboard box then nothing else mattered to me because I had you.

I feel it will be really hard to find someone to replace you in my heart. It just sucks what you did and that you do not seemed phased at all that the past 4 years are over.

I guess thats how it is and it sucks to move on without you... I love you Kat.
>>
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20 and in college, life is pretty tasteless but I find some fun somewhat regularly. But, every now and again I find myself contemplating the past and how wonderful it was, overall. Life seems too boring and repetitive. I know too much (which isn't that much to begin with), enough to feel bored about everything. Life isn't beautiful and people kinda suck. I'm not special and nothing I do matters. I don't create shit or bother much to learn new things like before because I've learned it won't really take me anywhere. No one's gonna appreciate it.

Life's been the exact fucking same since the last 3 years, and the exact same all the way before that, but at least then I had better eyes.
I wish I were 17 again. Life seemed so much bigger through those eyes.
>>
J, I miss you. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry about not taking things seriously. I'm sorry all I did was disappoint you and make promises I ended up being too lazy to keep. I'm sorry that you saw that maybe I could be worth something, and I continue to throw it away. I'm sorry that I could be happy if I put a little bit in just a little bit of work. I'm sorry that I never visited you. I'm sorry I spammed you with memes in a misguided attempt to make you laugh.

I'm going to buy a really big bottle of Jameson to try and use it to be productive. Like, learn programming like I want to. Maybe finish the work on my demo. Maybe fill out some job apps. It all used to be really easy for me to do well, but all of this seems so new to me lately. I always say "tomorrow's another day" when I'm in pain at night, and I wake up just as lazy and sad as ever.

So, maybe I'll be productive and do some of the work I need to get done. I do that, I can probably do some of the things I promised. And life can go back to being doable and not terribly, terribly overwhelming. I can stop being a victim to some stupid mental illnesses. I used to do so well in spite of depression and now it's just crippling and I feel different. I'm still young, I can still do this.

Done rambling,

CW
>>
Damn. This just occured to me.

In April I asked a girl to lunch. She responded without Hesitation, but the night before she texts me saying that her friend wanted to tag along.


But he kinda acted like it was his date, and sorta hijacked it. (She seemed uncomfortable with the whole thing, and stooped talking to him within a month)

Thoughts?
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>>17970675
call me
>>
>>17970768

I don't have your number and I'm blocked online. The only way I'm getting to talk to you is if you do it.
>>
>>17970708
She probably brought him along so she would feel secure. It is weird she brought a guy, that raises a few red flags in my book as a woman.

You could confront her and see what she says.
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>>17970775
Where can we talk????
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>>17970779
It's been so long since then. We are still talking and kinda in an awkward position.

So, I don't wanna do anything that potentially hurt us as friends.

She is very shy, so he coulda been brought to make it less awkward, but backfired?
>>
Dear W, you're a fucking coward and a liar. Love, C
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>>17970794
Also, he was someone we both knew as well, and was possibly her only decent friend, as well she doesnt seem to have many
>>
>>17970790

If you're the person that I need to talk to, then you can unblock me on fb. I can give you an email I made a while ago that is fine for people that are probably strangers online to message me on.
>>
>>17970803
That's the impression I'm getting.
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>>17970837
Eh, it seems like she might still be open to something. As well,

>She would randomly sit next to me in mostly empty rooms
>Talk to her, we are friendly enough
>I catch her staring at me, and occasionally she doesn't look away, instead we just stare into each other eyes for a few seconds.
>She never texts me first, but she will keep the conversation going if I do text her. Sometimes for 6-10 hrs.
>I sometimes slip in jokes that kinda tease her. No one finds them funny, but she still laughs. She sometimes teases me similarly
>She Makes it a point to try an push me to become an EMT. Which she is one, but also knows that I want to do it soon.
>She is always seeming willing to meet up, says "Definitely!" and "We can always give it a shot!" but will never commit to an actual day. But she seems kinda disappointed. (Though has specifically mentioned days shes free when I'm not trying to meet up with her)


So, yea. That guy, and her reluctance to meet up is odd. but she is shy. So she might be struggling here
>>
This week I may have fapped more than 25-30 times.. I hate it.. I need a job.
>>
I can't believe I stopped being important to you in just a week in japan
>>
>>17970853
Yea, I think your assumptions are on point, anon. I'm a shy girl and if I'm meeting someone for the first time I bring my best friend but my bestie is a female.

I would give her another chance and if she suggests bringing duder along again tell her how uncomfy it makes you. Don't be a doormat my dude. Shy or not it's jeopardizing your happiness and hers as well if she's equally as uncomfy.
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>>17970861
That's so sad. People stopped caring about integrity and loyalty in this age of hooking up......
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>>17970857
Give me an hour with you and you wont need your dick any more anon
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>>17970870
Yea, I'll try to get together with her soon. (She said that "We could always give it a shot!" with doing something over break, but she shyed away from cementing plans) She's got an EMT Cert exam tomorrow, so I was gonna text her the following day, and try to take her out to celebrate or something. (I was thinking a nice Modern/Hip Japanese restaurant)

Hopefully she won't bring another guy along. And if she tries I'll bring it up with her. Assuming we actually manage to get together this time
>>
I'm tired of feeling like I can't do anything, and that I'm worthless. I feel like others are way more skilled and better at life than me, but I keep fucking up everyday. I only blame myself for my multiple failures.

Also, I'm burned out on applying for jobs and never hearing back, while constantly worrying I'm gonna get fired from this current one. I made the "go to school for what makes you happy" mistake, and now I just feel lost and unsure of what I'm going to do.
>>
>>17970883
Because he'd have to burn it off?
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>>17970877
Im simplifying, we had problems with my enviousness which I communicated fully to her, I knew it would be rough for me so I asked communication while she was afar while I dealed with my issues, from the first day she began to talk cold and distant and I got desesperate,began to look for help and in just a few days (of time she asked me) I felt capable of promising real change to my problems,but that last day she just didn't seemed to care to what I talked to her, just responding how long to my desesperation chats and finally saying sorry I don't love you when I finally asked her

This all happened after a year of relative happy and very very close relationship

I'm destroyed
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>>17967171
Hi anon,

I just ditched my work gf to give my gf a facial.

Should I tell my work gf about it, or should I have invited her?
>>
1/2
>My legs are sore from chasing someone who didn't want me and some.....thing I convinced myself was real when it was one sided.

I feel bad for how unhealthy, obsessive, and clingy I was towards HIM. Like, I get it *now* that I'm away from the entire situation and can reflect in a healthy(as "healthy" as I can for myself) way. HE wants space, "space" means lots of belt notches. It's how guys are in college. Ultimately, whores (people who constantly sleep around) are gross...I don't understand, condone, or support the culture and I never will. Bonds are sacred and important to me.

Lately I've been waking up after having these awful dreams about HIM. I'd spurg out autistically on social media because I refuse to discuss the utter disgust and disdain for HIS life I feel deep inside. It's no excuse but ficke...at least I'm not making fake accounts under HIS name. My body feels impure, my head is foggy, and it sometimes bothers me to a point where I forget meals and run 8 miles a day. I'd do anything to forget and if I could go back in time and chicken out on meeting up, I would do it in a heart beat. Not because I hate HIM as a person, but I didn't know how filthy HE is. HE *was* my special guy. I didn't think of anyone else on the same level or even close to HIM. I couldn't imagine it. Everything was toxic.

We aren't from the same tribe, sweetheart(ik, the pet names)...my tribe takes pride in loyalty, integrity, and connection. It was a red flag when I didn't connect on an emotional level with HIM but the heart and yanyan in me took over. I'm sorry for ghosting, truly. I feel bad but I can't go back or face HIM. People who sleep around don't change, I look at my mom as a constant reminder.
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>>17970962
I deserve to be happy. I deserve someone who values the crap out of me and is afraid to lose me. I deserve a guy who wants to take me away from the bad and not consider it an inconvenience to them because that's how I treat others I care about. I've shown that so many times. I'm not the bad girl, it's not etched on my body or soul or stars. I'm good. I'm loyal. I made a mistake wasting my early twenties and it taught me so much. I'm going to make a good wife someday and be a proper mommy to beautiful babies with mermaid eyes. I'll sing them to sleep and kiss their foreheads. I will get out of bed early to make them heart shaped pancakes in the morning and write them sweet notes in their lunch boxes. We'll sit together as a family for dinner for more heart shaped food.

Idk if HE will miss me or regret chasing me away. I don't care. I don't want to hurt anymore. Maybe HE will find someone just like me that's as pretty as the girl with beautiful legs in socks. Good luck. I loved you deeper than anything I've felt in a very, very long time but it's time for us to part ways. On my terms this time.
>>
>>17970916
I'm sorry, hun. Girls, and guys, don't like unhealthy amounts of jealousy that comes off as obsession. Continue working in yourself. YOU are all YOU have in the end. No one is joining you in that coffin. Stay positive and enjoy Japan!
>>
>>17970893
Give the shy ones some time. They're gems. We're here if you need us.
>>
>>17970983
Yea, But its been almost a year that i've known her.

I kinda want to say something almost that would allow me to come clean with her about how I feel. But that could ruin out "friendship" if you can call it that. This is my last resort assuming she says NO or give me the run around when I ask her friday.

Actually, could this work? "How about you let me take you out to celebrate after work Saturday." (Or sunday if she replies on Saturday)

But yea, honestly, in my eyes, she's one of the best all around people i've ever met.
>>
I really, really like you. Just ask me to do something, anything. I will say yes. I just can't work up the courage to be the one to ask.
>>
>>17971003
Can you jump on one foot, try to lick your elbow, and pat your stomach at the same time?
>>
I want to jump out of my three story window and have my head splatter over the pavement because my life amounts to nothing. I have contributed nothing, I have no skill or talent, and my presence is cancer to all those around me. Every time I try something, there is always one minute detail I overlook and it fucks everything up. Nothing I do or say is ever right.
>>
So, is my friend an Oblivious twit?

Sent this earlier
"I feel like I'm bad at picking up certain ques like today she asked me what I was doing for lunch and I said I was probably going to eat after I finish working and I asked her and she said she was eating in the cafeteria, then later after I picked up my books for my classes she asked me what my plans were and I said probably go to work and I asked her the same question and she said probably eat here then go work on math then she asked me if I was rush and I was like yeah since I kinda was since I wanted to get finished fast and after I had left I realized that I think she was inviting me to eat with her there..."
>>
Wow, it's been a really long time since someone has honestly hurt my feelings. Good job.

Now I feel stupid and weak for having feelings in the first place. Sometimes I just want to vent and you said you would always be there to listen, so I trusted you for a second. But instead, you insult me when I already felt bad and terrible. Now I feel fucking stupid feeling bad in the first place and discussing my feelings.
>>
>>17971006
We all start with nothing, Anon.
It's not what we start with that matters, but where we go with it.

Perhaps you are bad at things, but I think that can also be a good thing. You know what you can improve at, so all you really need to do is work towards it, right? Build yourself up one thing at a time, and eventually you will have all the things that can be had.
>>
>>17970967
I almost forgot. I know you don't come here and you'll never read any of this which is super comforting and the main reason why I favor this board and this thread, why I come here religiously each day to help myself by venting and help others by listening and offering /adv/...

But you have my permission to burn, shoot, run over, destroy, throw away my stuff. Even my beloved stuffies. I don't want them back after they've been in that brick house. It makes me uncomfy after the thing incident. I know you were lying. I've called you out in bluffs before but I still cared to be below but beside you.

Besides they're probably covered in countless girl's cummies and that would set me over the edge.

I don't want my skin to scream for you ever again. My yanyan tattoo will always allow me to think of you and be in a place where I'm not constantly reminded you exist.

You were not a great friend while you were IN btw. You were really mean and made me feel insecure with slav princess. You knew how much it triggered me but you've always loved control over your girls. You're so bad for my childlike innocence. You won't ever change and that's okay. Your brain is still beautiful.

I saw the stars tonight and smiled. I hope your harem is worth the memories and times we shared. I know I'll always treasure them and care more than you ever could.

6 am = glam
>>
>>17971020
THONG incident*
>>
I GOT THE MONEY TOGETHER. I CAN FILL THE VOID WITH ALCOHOL. WHAT A DAY.
>>
Not that severe but I'm terrified of something happening to my parents. My parents are the only people in my life. If they die, I'm all alone.
>>
>>17971035
I've got no girlfriend, no friends, no life.
I'm a NEET with no aspirations in life
I rely on my parents for everything. I'm only 19, I haven't graduated (still in highschool) and I have no license. I haven't had a legitimate job in my life, but I've done manual labor for my dad many times.
If my parents die, I might as well kill myself or go homeless. I'm not sure which is worse.
I constantly feel guilty because my parents sacrifice everything for me and I give nothing back
I've never admitted all of this until now, and it feels good getting it off my shoulders
>>
>>17971042
That was contradictory. I mean I'm getting my GED
>>
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>>17971021
Also, I "pray", hope (?) that A realizes what you are. We might not be perfect people, us 3, but she deserves to find someone to make her happy and not talk to other girl's behind her back, someone who won't strong her along and feed into her so she can rise above the waves of thoughts about you. Idk what that says about me bc I don't know her and she has nothing nice to say about me but if anything you guys can screen shot this and fool around with each other over Skype.

Sad, really. It's all sad. I'm glad it's over. I'm striving to be happy since I left. I found this picture which brought perspective of what you meant by "space" and everything clicked as it came crashing down on top of me.
>>
This girl can wait until I finish my January exams before I think about taking her off perma-mute.

I just can't tolerate disrespect since my last relationship. I'm just glad that she hasn't got my number.

That reminds me of the fact that my ex refuses to move on and still has my number, my Snapchat, and probably still follows me on InstaGram.
>>
>>17971042
I was an asshole to my parents until I was about 24. Then, I stopped being a brat and realized how much they did for me and how hard they worked to make sure everyone was fed, and that we lived a comfortable life.

It's never too late to turn it around. Like, if they need me, I'm always there for them. I give them hugs when I see them. I go out and take them shopping or just hang out. I have dinner with them and ask them about their day. My parents are growing pretty old, and I felt so sad when my dad told me they'd already bought cemetery plots. I hope they know I love them.
>>
>>17971042
So you're pretty much like any other kid your age.
That doesn't seem like anything to be ashamed of.

Well, just work towards things, man. Find some places locally that you wouldn't mind working at, get a resume together for when you're done with school, get your parents to take you out driving and get some experience...

You start solving all these problems in your life, and you'll actually find that you start to have a life. You start to have a life, then people will be able to socialize and connect with you. If people are able to connect with you, then you're going to have an easier time forming intimate bonds.
>>
>>17971059
Every friend I've had has defriended me, irl and online. I don't know what I do but they all end up hating me. I wish I was joking ariund. Up until last year I had some friends, but even they started to hate me.
>>
>>17970810
>>17970790

Gonna guess you realized I'm not the person you wanted to talk to or something. Either way, hope I get to talk to her soon. I'm dying without her, but maybe it's because I'm a parasite.
>>
>>17971067
I can't tell you what kind of people your friends were, but I think it's difficult for some people to be around others who are stagnating because that sort of comes off on them, too. Not to mention not having a lot of money to do things, not having a car... It can become difficult to get out and do things sometimes. People end up getting closer to people that are able to participate in the activities they enjoy.

This doesn't really reflect poorly on who you are as a person, but your current situation.

I wouldn't beat yourself up over it. Friends will come and go, such is life. Once you start pulling yourself together, it shouldn't be too hard to connect with somebody.

So, just focus on becoming somebody you can be proud of, and the rest will come naturally.
>>
holy

you probably aren't feeling the same
that makes me feel awkward
sometimes I think I should give up and contact you, ask you out, get some beer, play some stupid game together
I will miss you, for sure
you know I have few friends but I don't feel so connected to them
I can't talk to them as I talk to you

you're my favorite person as well

btw it's a relief I can at least come here to vent, as you only lurk at /v/
>>
>>17967318
If you're actually nuts you don't have much of a choice.
When the problems are in your brain, there's nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. You can lie to yourself that you're fine and nothing's wrong, but the sooner you accept it the better.
Might as well start the process as soon as possible, since it can take a while to find a good one (depends on where you are).

As for what they can do to you: a hell of a lot. If they give you the wrong drugs for example, you can end up in the hospital or worse. But they can save your goddamn life too.
It's like going to any other doctor. There's always risks, but when you're sick, it's the best chance you have of getting better.

>>17967397
>you have worth and value just for existing. You're a beautiful human being even though you don't believe it right now.
Frankly, this is easy for women to say.
But a man isn't worth jack shit just for existing. In fact, we're worth less than nothing.
Every day I need food, water, a place to sleep, etc. I have to consume resources that could otherwise be used somewhere else.
I can only justify that by the fact that i'm in training to become something useful and valuable: in a bunch of years i'll have a medical license and provide important services to other people.

Otherwise, i'm worth fuck-all. Nobody's gonna spend a pile of money feeding, clothing, and housing me just for sex or companionship or love or whatever the hell else. Even the military wouldn't take me since i'm 4F (unfit to serve for medical reasons).

That's how life works for men. We're not like gold or diamonds, which "have worth and value just for existing". We're more like iron or aluminum: either we're useful for something, or we're worthless.
>>
Hey just wanted to say thanks for making my previously existing mental problems worse because of you're bullshit. That's permanent! But who gives a fuck, not at your own personal expense. You don't deserve for good things to happen.
>>
Mom, I wish you didn't wait until I was nearly a decade old to inform me that not only was my dad not my biological father but that I wasn't the same race as you. Both parents who raised me were Caucasian. I'm mixed black and white. I wish you had a better support system to learn how to cope with your own brutally fucked up childhood, that way you didn't have to resort to alcoholism, gambling and drugs to cope with the pain. I wish you were a better role model for my sister who ended up being 10x worse than you and who has literally thrown her whole life down the toilet. She is facing up to 15 years in prison and her two small children who's father's are also in prison are most likely doomed to repeat the cycle.
>>
I hate that I feel bad for you even though you were a piece of shit.
>>
(continued)
Dad, I thank you for stepping up to the plate and being a father figure in my life during my most impressionable times. With that being said, I despise the Man you've become over time. You used to be the authoritarian in the family, now you're just some psychopaths bitch ass errand boy. How could you let her and her offspring undermine you as they do? Honestly, growing a fucking pair.
>>
(continued)
I hate how much disconnect I feel from my entire family ever since denouncing my religion. I'm sorry I'm not an ignorant fuck and redpilled myself. It's as if there's a heavy burden on my shoulders to get all of you to experience true love, understanding and compassion based on personal want and desire, rather than trying to appease your God and act accordingly as dictated by 2000+ year old text in order to have your grand prize when you die. I feel like you are all missing out on the journey of life, because you feel you have it all figured out. Fucking ignorant fucks.

I want to feel like there's a meaning to life again but, all I feel now are the chains placed by the implementation of economic slavery and the like. So many institutions that are the infestructure of our modern society are flawed and are more or less systems of oppression rather than systems of empowerment.
>>
(continued)
I often think about dying just so I don't have to feel all these feels but, suicide is not an option. I could never do that to my wife or daughter. Not to mention I'm way too chicken shit to do it.

I hate black culture.

I hate that when I reached out to my biological father to meet me, he agreed but, his real motives were not to meet me but rather fuck my mother again, which he did. (thanks mom)

Russell Johnson, I FUCKING HATE YOU and every fucking thing you did to me and my family. All the mental, physical and sexual abuse you inflected on us is intolerable and if the day ever comes that we cross paths again, it WILL be your last.
>>
>>17969543
Try standing up for yourself, puting your foot down and expressing what youre feeling and you won't lash out as much or be seen as an ahole
>>
Lmao are you talking shit about me because you're going through coke withdrawals? Or maybe you're pissed at me because you had a bad acid trip & thought about me who knows because you can't communicate fuck all. All you ever did was treat me like fucking shit
>>
A lot of my emotional well being is determined by happens in April.
I've enlisted in the military.
They're processing me now.
If I get what I want, then I'm beyond happy
If not, then, well, it's going to be damage control

I decide the rest of my life this year.
Honestly, I don't feel nervous, I just want to do it and I'm tired of waiting.

Also, because of the military, I'm probably going to be a virgin when I'm 30
A rich in shape virgin.
>>
>>17970962
>>17970967
>>17971020
>>17971021
>>17971049

Thanks for a good read anon. I have no advice, but it's nice to see you be strong in a shitty situation. Good luck <3
>>
>>17967171
I think I've done a good job at disassociating those old feelings for and towards who you were from who you are now. I think I'm ready, but I think I fucked up in explaining what I was going through emotionally. I'm sorry for that, because you know me, being shit at explaining what's going on in my head. For certain... I love you for who you are now, and I'm not gonna be letting those old feelings that held me back and strangled me do so anymore. I love you, Max. Even after processing and separating the things going on in my mind and my heart... The things about you that brought me to you in the first place are still there, and more.. I just wish I knew how to bring this up to you when you're not feeling so terrible, right now.. Like I said before, my heart is still on you. Be it in our friendship, or what else it could become, if you want to give us another roundabout. Just like old times, but... much different. Thank you for changing and becoming a better person.
>>
>>17969372
I had to write after I watched this movie.

This is so not deep it knocks you over the head with its imagery, so not subtle at all this is such a bad script man but the imagery and scenery is ok but the story is just kindergarten level lmao
>>
>>17968134
>>17968137
>>17968141
i know all those fucking feels, anon.
My story ends a little differently though: a few weeks ago my psychiatrist put me on a new drug and now the compulsiveness is... gone. For the first time.
Now it feels like there's 10 more hours in each day, it's insane how much time i wasted doing completely unproductive compulsive bullshit.

The problem with this is that it makes it even more obvious that i'm not... normal, and that i never will be, no matter how many medications i take.
I feel like a soldier without orders, or a robot without programming. I spend a lot of time looking at my hands or off into space and wondering what the fuck i'm supposed to do. Normal people seem to have all these hopes and dreams and goals and wants and desires and so on, but i have none at all. If i had a magic lamp with a genie i'd ask to switch places with him.

As for what's wrong with people like us: fuck if i know. My psychiatrist doesn't know either, she hasn't even tried to diagnose me with anything, just went straight to trying to fix it. Other psychiatrists either fucked up or gave up. If you want things to google, try schizoid personality disorder, OCPD/OCD, and autism. Doesn't do a lot of good to stare at classification criteria and billing codes all day though, these and many other diagnoses are basically clinically useless.
See a psychiatrist for yourself if you think it might help, if at least just to put your mind at ease.

Good luck anyway brother.
>>
You wanted to study? More like a study date. I enjoyed watching you squirm and cringe as I showed you the real me in all my mentally ill "weirdness" and just being who I am. I felt so good being me and not feeling ashamed when you visibly cringed and left our "study" session early.
>>
I think I hate women
>>
>>17971292
Why?
>>
>>17971298
I don't really hate women. Not like you hate mosquito bites or how Goebbels hated Jews.

I've just so infrequently feel like they've felt like I do.
Like you always need to prove yourself. Like you're not worth anything until you've accomplished something.
Not until you have a good job, have big muscles, are charming and funny.

A pretty woman can be a braindead slug and have so many people clamouring about her.

It's lessened over time, but society still remembers that a man has no intrinsic value and a woman always does. It's biological and as much as we hate biological determinism today, it's mostly still true.
>>
>>17971259
Man I thought this was some propaganda piece but it's picking back up.
>>
>>17971284
Wtf?
>>
>>17971317
Interesting. I think you'll find some women feel similarly in that they feel like they need to prove themselves even if they're pretty. That they're more than their looks and charm. You'll find some women who've worked really hard academically and physically be told in one breath that she can have it all, the career, the man, the kids and family and in the same breath be scolded for having it all and not focusing enough on one area. Women face an immense amount of pressure all around them just as men face an immense pressure all around them, the pressure just manifests itself differently in general for each sex.
>>
>>17971334
? Wha?
>>
>>17971338
It's different, I know

But they always have something to fall back on.
Yeah "They're just a woman"
Just a pretty face just a mother, whatever

But I am NOTHING
Do you see the difference?
It's like a millionaire complaining that he can't find validation for his poetry?
Who gives a shit? You still have value

I sympathize with ugly women, but they don't really get it
For them, it's "I'm ugly, I'm a small subset of what I could be"
But for men, that feeling is all the time

And that's compounded by the fact that men aren't supposed to have emotions
Women have a broad support group
A woman feels sad? Well she has the whole world to talk to

A man feels sad? Too bad. Deal with it. Men aren't sad.
If he talks, he's suddenly a unattractive pussy whose friends and potential partners shun
>>
>>17971358
Yeah. That whole thing of men are supposed to be "strong" and not be able to share their emotions is heartbreaking and pisses me off. That is something in society that needs to go. It's definitely not fair to men and is very damaging for both men and women alike.
>>
How the fuck do I get someone's number
Why is this so difficult for me
>>
I don't know how much longer I can keep going. My life was never that great to begin with and I had a bad breakdown a few years ago. Recently I tried to change my whole life and it ended up failing, part from me falling into old habits as well as stupid mistakes from my past preventing me from moving on with my pathetic goals. Every day it gets worse and I'm getting more bitter and angry. im just tired of this shitty life that I can't seem to escape.
>>
>>17971358
>Yeah "They're just a woman" Just a pretty face just a mother, whatever


Women don't have it that easy. Most of the time they are written off as "Just a ____" and ignored or bushed aside. Nobody takes women seriously. Ever.
>>
>>17971427
But that's the fucking thing
It's better to be "Just a [blank]" than to be totally ignored

Look, I sympathize that a woman's career can be slowed by male chauvinism. I'm a career minded person and that'd piss me the fuck off. I get it
But those asses rejected you are rejected you based on the assumed value you have
You are a thing, but a man ignored is not a thing. He's nothing

Society is always highlighted by crisis
Who got into the escape boats of Titanic?

Yeah, women may slowed on their ascent, but that's the thing.
What if you're not ascending? What do you have to fall back on as a man?
A woman always has womanhood

There's a very real reason why men commit suicide than women
A man has no one to turn to.
>>
>>17971436
>a man ignored is not a thing. He's nothing

Women are also getting ignored only with the rationale of "someone else ill see the value so I don't have to, she's just a ____." A woman's problems are all someone else's issue because certainly someone will help because she's a woman. When she reaches out she never finds help because of this.

The lifeboats thing? That's more veneration of CHILDREN than of women. After all, what if that female has a baby inside? As soon as a female is no longer a little girl all veneration goes out the window.

When a man tries to do something he isn't brushed aside because of his gender. When a man reaches out he may be ignored, but at least he isn't both ignored AND told "someone else will do it". Men may be more successful at suicide but that doesn't mean women aren't equally miserable.
>>
>>17971221
Hey, anon, it's 1 am where I am and I couldn't sleep without taking the time to thank you for your kind words. <3 Some times there is no advice to be offered and you just have to roll with the punches. :) Take care, sweetie. And if you ever need /adv/ feel free to come here and ask for Stelle. I check this board religiously.
>>
>>17971449
Truth.
>>
>>17971449
>The lifeboats thing? That's more veneration of CHILDREN than of women
That's what I'm talking about

No matter what happens, a woman will always have value because she can birth children
It's not her fault but it remains nonetheless true.

A woman has some sort of value. She can have squalor in her attempts to go beyond that but at the end of the day, she has something, even if it is small

What does a man have? Absolutely totally fucking nothing.
A man is worth nothing at the end of the day

That's the difference.
A woman can have children. A man is extra


That's without even going into the emotional context of the sexes
Women have support.
Men do not.
>>
>>17971463
>A woman can have children
But not without a man.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Feeling sorry for yourself won't make it better. Everyone hurts. Dwelling on it won't make anything better.
>>
>>17971485
>But not without a man.
Not anymore

And it doesn't matter how I feel about myself.
It's about how I feel about others. And the two aren't necessarily related.
How I feel about myself doesn't change the behavior of others
>>
I fapped to dickgirls
>>
I'm glad we are friends again. I know I was a dick at times but it feels nice to have you as a friend.
>>
>>17971491
> how I feel about myself won't change the behaviour of others

Of course it won't change other's behaviour. But that's the thing. What you can control/manage is your own behaviour, your own thoughts, your own response to things. Other's behaviour can't be controlled so why feel all sad about that. Think about what you can manage.
>>
>>17971491
>How I feel about myself doesn't change the behavior of others

Actually people judge you based on your behaviors. This is especially true of males as they are expected to output something of pleasing value whether it be a pleasing appearance, nice creations, hard work, ect.

>TL:DR:
Work on yourself so you output something good and people will like you more.

Note that being a "nice guy" does not count as that often hides ulterior motives in otherwise unappealing people as they expect to be owed things just because they were "nice" to you. A good attitude and being kind without expecting things in return is much more appealing.
>>
>>17971506
Then you agree with me, ultimately

This whole thing is about how I feel about others. I can't change how other people act

I don't like.
I control my life and I don't like how most other people control theirs
And this whole thing is because I feel lonely. I don't want to be alone any more.
>>
>>17971510
>A good attitude and being kind without expecting things in return is much more appealing.
>If you cut off a piece of your flesh and hope someone comes for it
>>
>>17971516
Why do you feel alone? Why do you feel like you're nothing?
>>
>>17971358
>>17971436
>>17971463
I understand anon, i'm >>17971163.
Just try to keep in mind that none of us have a choice in any of this. We didn't choose to be born male or female, which culture to be born into, or what societal values to be exposed to as children.

Women are forced into their roles just like we are. Society might value them much more highly, but only in the same way a master values his slaves.
>>
>>17971520
>If you cut off a piece of your flesh and hope someone comes for it

> Expecting something from everyone just because you put something out there as if they owe you.

Self-entitled.
>>
>>17971530
No one is expected to come from it
But some people don't have to do the cutting
So it's normal to resent them
>>
>>17971529
That's true.

But at the end of the day, look at who kills themselves.
Not attempts. But people who really want to fucking die.

That says a lot
>>
>>17971534
>But some people don't have to do the cutting
Someone always must do the cutting. Don't give anything, don't get anything.

Even the luckiest bastards still have to either give/do things or have others give/do things on their behalf. At some point things must be given. Period.
>>
>>17971539
Yeah, that's the inequality I'm talking about
9/10 of the time, it's the man hurting himself for a woman's inspection
>>
>>17971552
>man hurting himself for a woman's inspection

Women also make changes and sacrifice to get the attention of males but see the guys. It's how courtship works when you're not a piece of shit. That said there's a lot of lazy fuckers who seem to think what's in their pants entitles them to a relationship and that's on both genders.
>>
>>17971560
There's a big difference between what a man risks and what a woman risks
Can you see what?
>>
It'd be nice if you replied more than like twice when you text me/I text you.
Just still confused by you. You have me wrapped around your finger.
>>
>>17971565
Men and women aren't as different as you make it out to be. Men and women are human beings. All human beings struggle with pain and fucked up shit.
>>
>>17971565
>There's a big difference between what a man risks and what a woman risks

Only in your mind because you are a male and everyone thinks they are special and somehow more important than everyone else. This is scientifically proven human nature.

The risk is the same. It's just over time a man has it easier as he has what he has built. Women are judged on crap nature gave them that fades over time so things just get worse.
>>
>>17971574
Of course.
But like a metaphor I used before, it's like a homeless person and a millionaire complaining about public acceptance
One of the two has something to fall back to while the other just sits there is in emptiness.
>>
>>17971576
Risk only happens when you do something
Waiting for something to happen isn't risk

You can't fucking possibly assert that women are as likely to be the one who makes the first move
That's objectively not true
>>
>>17971580
Nah. Reality is you're feeling really sorry for yourself right now and you're angry at a lot of things, maybe a particular woman or women. And right now it probably feels really good to sit in this wallow of self-pity, asking women and how they've got so much better than you and all other men. It's easier to sit in this cesspool of self-pity than face the real issue(s) you have.
>>
>>17971580

Just tossing this out here, but you seem to have a serious case of "Nice Guy" syndrome. Because you can't find a girlfriend despite being the nice guy you get jaded and angry. You see all these girls with boyfriends and think it's just because they are girls.

You then say the world is stacked against you entirely because you are male or else you would have gotten somewhere. This gives you reason to think you don't have to do anything as it's the world that sucks, not you. You came here to whine and have people affirm you are right in this self-centered view.

There are ways the men have it stacked against them (ex: child custody, the draft, ect) but the things you are focusing on aren't real issues. They are simply side effects of you being so self-focused you don't see what needs doing and think you deserve love because you're a "nice guy" and just as good as anyone else.

Get your head out of your ass. Lose some weight. Learn to interact socially. Grow up.
>>
>>17971602
Do you disagree that men are almost always the initiators?
>>
>>17971615
You are seeking approval and affirmation again.
>>
>>17971594
As a man, do you really feel like you have intrinsic value to society?

Like if you were an ugly homeless person, would anyone want to save you?
Do you really honestly feel that?
>>
>>17971617
Of fucking course I do
Is there any human that doesn't?
>>
>>17971618
I don't believe I need to have intrinsic value to society in order to accept myself as I am and feel fulfilled. I believe I have intrinsic value. That's it. I don't need the affirmation of society in order to feel good about myself.
>>
>>17971624
No man is an island
>>
>>17971624
Out of curiosity, why do you believe that you have intrinsic value?
Most people accept society's judgement of their "value". What judge or measure of worth have you chosen instead?
>>
>>17971639
Believing I have intrinsic value a part from society doesn't imply I believe I'm an island. On the contrary, I believe in interdependence. I don't believe in dependence on others and their approval. There's a difference.
>>
>>17971623
You are doing it as an excuse so you don't have to try to get better or change.
>>
>>17971647
You can't have your cake and eat it too

You have your believe in others
And if I may assume that's because you have your fill of support
When your'e alone
And I mean truly alone
Where does society come in?
The fuckers how ignore you and sometimes toss you a quarter?

No, there isn't anyone else to give you value
>>
>>17971651
I'm doing it as an exercise so I don't want to kill myself tomorrow
>>
>>17971594
>>17971602
>>17971651
man you guys would make the worst therapists ever
>>
>>17971641
In all honesty I believe all humans were created by God in God's image and therefore have intrinsic value as the all-powerful Creator chose to create beings like him. That's my measure. I believe I have purpose and therefore, don't need the approval of society in order to feel good about myself. I know this worldview isn't popular and that I'll be belittled for it. I'm not that stereotypical "Christian" who hates LGBTQA identifying persons. In fact, I hate it when people put them down and don't allow them the same rights as everyone else. I'm pretty unconventional when it comes to my faith and beliefs.
>>
>>17971656
I struggle with wanting to kill myself too. I have to take meds and have even been in a psych hospital recently. Believing I had to have the approval of others and shit like that was one of many reasons I hated myself and wanted to die. I attempted suicide even on three different occasions.
>>17971665
You know what? Having been to see therapists and psychiatrists, the best ones are the ones willing to say the tough shit, the ones willing to step on your little pretty princess toes and be real. If you want people to say things you want to hear, you're in the wrong place anon.
>>
>>17971676
You're scaring me, bro
Why you'd try to commit suicide?

I feel alone and empty but I would try
I like to cook and exercise

Sometimes I'm with people I like

Even if my career is empty and I have to eat out of the dumptser
I'm not totally without value
>>
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>tfw horny af
>tfw schlicked so much that my entire vagina is numb
>tfw vagina numb but still horny
>tfw been mad at everybody because of horniness
>tfw boyfriend never
>tfw don't like or trust anybody enough for FWB

Aww how do I make it stop
>>
>>17971686
I went to a super strict Christian hs and had suicidal thoughts and didn't feel good enough. I was told that feeling like that was selfish and I needed more Jesus. I was 18 then and thought about drowning myself in the bath tub. I told my parents and they said how stupid it was for someone to say that to me. I didn't go to counseling then since I felt stupid. As years went by I still felt like that, not good enough, unlovable, etc. I was hit pretty hard emotionally, physically, mentally, while working in different places and being sexually harassed and abused as well as being in a relationship that almost led to marriage where I was abused. I was 23 and I tried to kill my self by starvation and dehydration. I moved away and began going to school again with the intention of killing myself once and for all by being hit by a train. I ended up meeting a wonderful person and was really happy for a bit. My suicidal thoughts cropped up and I couldn't figure out why and felt guilty about it. My SO broke up with me unexpectedly and it shocked me. I impulsively tried to freeze myself.
In each instance, I tried to find validation and worth from others. How miserable I was. I still struggle with it now, but I have hope and know what's what now.
>>
Te odio
>>
>>17971700
We all feel alone, man
I never want to trivialize You went through some serious shit

But between us, you're not alone.
Keep on man. I've never felt worthy. Of pretty much anything
That feeling has sabotaged a few relationships
I feel pretty salty over those, but I'll get over it

I'm reaching a new level in April.
Do it with me, bro

We can make it
>>
>>17971703
Ich hasse dich
>>
>>17971712
Thanks I really appreciate man. That's why I'm fucking thankful for the real talk from my therapists in the psych hospital. They helped me realize the intrinsic value I and all human beings have and that we're all worthy of things like love and dignity etc.

Yes, we can make it, even if it hurts worse than hell.
>>
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>>17971666
>those trips
personally, i keep coming to this board and these threads looking for a reason to live, or at least a reason not to kill myself, and i haven't fucking found any yet

it all seems to come down to society, religion, or hedonism, and none of them work for me.

there's gotta be something else, right?
>>
>>17971735
I'm not into religion but I can understand why you'd say that about me. I keep coming to these boards because I find people like you who feel similarly to me and I want you to know you're not alone, that this search for meaning and purpose isn't stupid or a waste of time. I felt so alone for such a long time and found people who feel like us online before I met people like us irl in the psych hospital. Being in the psych hospital really changed my life for the better desu.
Where are you from by the way?
>>
>>17970231
I wish I could talk to her. I want to. But she fucking cheated on me. Why should I still love her? What right does it have to keep hurting me after all this time? I need help, or a friend, or God, or... anything really. I'm not in a good place.
>>
>>17971782
If you still love her that doesn't make you stupid. It makes you human. Feel the pain. There's betrayal. Don't deny it but don't stay stuck in it friend. You're not alone in your pain and you won't always feel like this.
>>
>>17971788
Thank you. I needed to hear that.

I wish I could somehow express more warmth to you than a few terse sentences, but seriously, I appreciate it. I'll be okay. It's just taking a long time
>>
>>17971810
The fact my words meant that much to you and your thanks are warmth enough for me. Don't think that's not adequate enough. Hang in there anon.
>>
Every night when I try to go to sleep you're there on my mind. I miss you even though I know you don't give a fuck anymore. It hurts so much.
>>
New thread: >>17971884
>>
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CW, you're on my mind and inside of my heart
I thank my lucky stars for you tonight
I cannot wait to spend the weekend exploring this part of (omitted) with you. I have so many things planned to cook for you, I really hope you are impressed with my cooking and how I can shape almost anything into a heart~!
Thank you for facing my demons with me instead of turning your back on me as well. I've been searching for someone who is willing to understand the lyrics of my heart for so long. Let's watch the inauguration together. [I plan to kiss your hand and I am so nervous I can't sleep]
X's and O's,
W (^|||||||^)

P.s. thank you for expressing how much you cherish me. I am not used to being beside someone without being below them. Thank you for being patient as I train myself again. Your support means so much, you have no idea... and the way you appreciate my loyalty, innocence, and traditional views..... I can't wait to make you so many foods and clean your brand new home with you.

I am good. I am loyal. I deserve to be happy.
>>
Someone told me to think "positive" when it came to the discussion of our break in the relationship. You needed space to figure out what you wantes, to get out of the funk mood that caused you to be so angry at me. You wanted this break to help us miss each other, and in turn, come out stronger in the end. The last words we said to each other was that we were sorry. However, you've removed me off your social media. You haven't checked in on me once since we've gone radio silent with one another. My thoughts are plagued with the fact that this brief period brought upon by you was your way of gradually imposing the inevitable. You were/are too much of a coward to fully break it off with me. You want me to wallow in this unknown limbo, trapped between not knowing whether I should continue to fight for us...or move on.
>>
I got a call about a job I didn't even apply for. They said that I was over qualified for the job I did apply for. I think this might be the job I end up getting finally.

Bout fucking time. Not really but the job search has been long and exhaustive and I'm hoping this works out while at the same time not trying to get my hopes up.

We'll see what happens I guess.
>>
all this gonna end in rekt at /b/ or /gif/ life sucks we know that!
>>
>>17972058
I fucking hate people who give pointless advice like "think positive". How the fuck are you supposed to be positive about a negative situation? It's the biggest bullshit I don't give a fuck tidbit of advice anyone could give.

Just focus on you and what you need to do. If you catch yourself thinking about the situation take a moment to clear your mind so you can focus on the stuff that really matters in your life, because that break bullshit should be your cue to throw her to the curb in my opinion. The only people who need to test a relationship in such a way probably don't know what they want and are insecure to the point it's fucking up the relationship.
>>
look at these people they have no shit like this they dont use 4chan and seems to be happier than us wtf
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