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Self improvement is hard

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As per the advice of >>17948265 I've taken a good look at myself and have listed several strengths and weaknesses in terms of being a mate. I've listed 7 weaknesses so far, which are below:

>no ambitions or goals
>no money
>overweight
>boring and uninteresting personality
>lack of confidence
>bad at socialising with people
>not funny

Addressing the first three is straightforward, but the other four have me stumped. What steps am I supposed to take to develop a more interesting personality? Is there a guide somewhere that breaks down How To Socialize? I have no clue where to start with these weaknesses and it's making me feel pretty defeated already. Please help.
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>>17948514

>boring and uninteresting personality

you are who you are. you can't change your personality. you probably aren't boring, you're just calm. you have interests, don't you? you probably consider them boring interests ismply becuase they are your own. no one thinks of themself as interesting.

>lack of confidence

confidence is the belief in the truth of something. so in order to have confidence there has to be a truth. define what kind of confidence you are looking for. as there are many types.

>bad at socialising with people.

talk. no, not research, not read 50 books. go out and just say hi to people. then ask questions. some will stick. some will not. you will realize that being a master of socialization just means being a normal person. not everyone wants to talk to you. socialization isn't about being the most interesting person in the room. its about putting yourself out there and seeing what sticks.

>not funny

wanting to be funny only stems from wanting to impress others so is a shitty goal. not everyone is funny. be happy you're not a clown.
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>>17948516
>define what kind of confidence you are looking for. as there are many types.
Please elaborate, I'm completely lost on this.
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>>17948534

confidence is not all encompassing. as i said its the belief in a truth.

you can be confident in your own intelligence bcause you have the grades to back it up. you can be confident in your cooking because it tastes delicious. you can be confident in your looks because you attract partners that you are attracted to.

but you can't just hone a single concept and say that you now have confidence, not all encompassing confidence.

that artist is often not confident asking out girls because he doesn't look good. that guy who can get the girls isn't confident about the test coming up because hes not that smart.
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>>17948604
So you're saying it's impossible to just Be Confident, as most people tend to suggest. That's kind of a bummer.

I don't really have anything to be confident about right now, but maybe that will come as I begin accomplishing the goals I have set for myself.
>>
If your looking for goals to meet start working a little harder at your job, try to excel at what your doing. Make a goal of becoming a manager or whatever you do.
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>>17948611
Confidence is a state of mind dude. If your worried about confidence or going out and doing something don't think just go do it, like talking to people
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>>17948611

well, yes and no.

what you are describingi sn't actual confidence in ones self, but confidence in how the world works. when we think of confidence we tend to think of it as confidence in ones self or abilities.

but you can be confident in knowing that if you do the things that everyone else does, you will receive only the same consequences, which is to say, not many consequences at all.

people like oyu tend to build up a mindset that everything sucks and is awful and is out to get you and when you fail it creates some physical pain.

wehn in real life it doesn't. most of your worry and anxiety is self inflicted cuz when you go out and do the things everyone else does, and even somehow manage to fail, there are no consequences. your life is still the same as it was an hour ago, a week ago, a month ago.
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>>17949598
That's a good way to look at it.

Anyway, I was making this list in the context of wooing girls, but I guess I can rule that out for good?
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>>17948514

socializing and confidence can be improved through trial and error/Fake it till you make it.

You just have to get to know people somehow. Even if it is your local Wahrhammer Store.

Then practice small talk to them and try to be interested in what they have to say.

If there is a normal opportunity to drink a beer then do so, alcohol also helps.

Being funny on purpose is really difficult and i have problems with that as well. Again, alcohol helps with formulating witty comments.

If you are boring just do stuff. Pick weekends and do something like rafting or skiing or anything. You could try to combine that with socializing. There surely are a lot of clubs etc. taht offer one day trials of their activites. You could even take a ssurfing lesson. It doesnt have to be sport btw. it could also be painting or cooking or whatever...
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>>17950830
Does alcohol actually help a lot with wittiness? Or does it work in the sense that both parties are too far gone to overthink what you just said?
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So pretty much everybody (accept my brother and father) seem to get jealous over having girlfriend or progressing. Literally even in the last couple of years I've made a couple of friends and they are alright for a couple of months than seem to just want to fk me over weather its by manipulation or trying to control my life. Does my energy attract people like this or do they probably look down on their own life?
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So pretty much everybody (accept my brother and father) seem to get jealous over having girlfriend or progressing. Literally even in the last couple of years I've made a couple of friends and they are alright for a couple of months than seem to just want to fk me over weather its by manipulation or trying to control my life. Does my energy attract people like this or do they probably look down on their own life or know the psychology behind this? I try not to flaunt or show off but even then I still keep meeting people like this
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>>17952129
>>17952136
????
Thread posts: 14
Thread images: 3


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