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I can't get her out of my head. She's lesbian, I'm

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I can't get her out of my head. She's lesbian, I'm a straight guy. She is the best friend I ever had in my life. We see each other almost every day. When we don't we atleast text. I woke up in the morning I think about her and she stays in my thoughts until I go to sleep again. She won't change her orientation. She once told me that if I was a girl she'd be all over me. It's fucking killing me, I never got along so fucking perfectly with anyone in my life but her. I love her and I know that we will never be together but I can't make myself to accept this fact. I have a lots of friends but something is missing when I'm with either of them. This is a fucking tyrany. I doubt I'll ever found anyone as her ever again, we are bonded like brother and sister.

I want to fucking scream. It's been for over a year now. I can talk to her about this but it won't solve nothing.
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>>17944134
a lot of lesbians are actually straight or bi women in denial.

all the lesbians i know where straight once, and they became "lesbians" because they got fed up of guys using them.

dont lose hope. you could turn her. it happens.
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>>17944151
She's twenty, she only had one guy when she was like fifteen and it didn't do anything for her. I'm fucked and I don't know what to do. When I met her I was happy as fuck, happiest ever in my life. Until I realised that it won't get anywhere. Shit depresses me everyday now. I'm a mess. Smoking pack a day to calm me down, drinking and taking drugs. Fucking random girls doesn't ease the pain.
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>>17944180
>When I met her I was happy as fuck, happiest ever in my life. Until I realised that it won't get anywhere.

how long have you known this girl
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>>17944196
Year and a half.
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>>17944180
Idk man, ask her if she'd be willing to try anyway since she has only done it once. If she says no she probs just isn't that into you.
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>>17944204
maybe you should just tell her how you feel. at least she is attracted to you personality, even if you are a guy.
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>>17944209
Of course she's not, I'm a guy. We've slept together in my bed for more than I can count. Shared a blanket. Hugged her to sleep, but nothing sexual came out of it.

Our mutual friend of her who she has known before me once told me that he went for it and tongued kissed her. She got scared and started hanging out with me, while she distant herself from him completely. I don't want to lose her like this.
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>>17944222
You must be unattractive.
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>>17944222
Are you autistic? Don't fucking "go for it," explicitly, ask her if she wants to try to work through that shit. It sounds like her lesbianism is based off of trauma than actual orientstion, shit mane.

Look up sexual therapy, there are legitimate people who have been raped and go through ST to take back a feeling and identity of control over their sex life.

Communicate consent, jfc.
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>>17944134
Imagine if you took all this energy and put it toward a woman you could actually get. This is like your best guy friend wanting to suck your cock. She doesn't like guys. End of discussion.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcEAmTobwa8
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>>17944266
Empathy isn't your strongest page I suggest.
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>>17944151
>a lot of lesbians are actually straight or bi women in denial.
>dont lose hope. you could turn her. it happens.

As a straight guy whose best friend is a lesbian. Who has hooked up with her (and other lesbians).

You are full of shit here.

People are who they are. You can't "turn" them.

They don't like being with guys any much more than you do. Go kiss a guy. Go tell me it doesn't feel empty as mother fuck and somehow a million times more hollow than the worst kiss you've had with a girl. Now some guys may feel differently and be ok with it (same as some gay girls) but they can't be "taught"/"turned" to feel different. You feel what you feel.

Every single time I've had a gay girl start coming on to me ,they always end up dropping a "you're so different from other guys, maybe if it was with you" and I've always ended up seeing the exact same look of desperation--that almost fervent glint of longing in their eyes--of wanting to be normal, of wanting to fit in, of wanting to not be different, to not worry about being rejected or outcast or abnormal for once (first time I heard it from my best friend and I realized exactly what was going on, it was a pretty heartbreaking bombshell.)

Shits already tough enough man.

Don't be one of those douches who I always end up having to bounce off my friend because when she says "gay", they hear "challenge". That's part of the exact reason a lot of gay people end up feeling like they can't feel comfortable with who they are and what chips away at their own self identity and self-worth.
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>>17944284
Empathy? You mean like understanding how someone else is feeling? Like understanding that it's awkward and uncomfortable to have a person of the wrong gender obviously into you? Put yourself in her shoes, holy shit.
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>continued from:
>>17944287

>>17944134
@OP:

Look man. Whether she's straight or gay is kind of irrelevant. If she's not in to you in that way, she's not. Bottom line: If she truly wanted to be with you, she would be. This happens. All the time

All you can do is what every single other guy in any other situation whose got a "oneitis"/crush/whatever can do; realize she doesn't like you, pick up the pieces, and try to move on.

Stop obsessing over the false hope/excuse that it's because she's gay.
That is crutch you are using to beat yourself over the head so you don't give up and don't have to face the brutal truth.
It's not because she's gay.
it's because she doesn't like you enough.

This happens. All the time. It's a natural part of life.
The people who you end up liking, don't always end up liking you.
I've been there before and it sucks, but that's what it is.
It hurts, and it lingers, and it feels like you'll never move past it, but if you let yourself, you do. One day you just found you don't think those thoughts anymore, and you don't even remember when it stopped.
This case is no different.

Move on.
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>>17944287
How come so many lesbians where happily straight or bi until they had a traumatic experience with a guy?

I said a lot, not all.
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>>17944287
>>17944305
Well said.
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>>17944309
All the lesbians I've met have been lesbians all their lives. Anecdotes don't really get us anywhere.
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>>17944309
>How come so many lesbians where happily straight or bi until they had a traumatic experience with a guy?
>I said a lot, not all.

Is there a statistical evidence for this? What qualifies as "a lot"? Does "a lot" qualify as greater than 50%?

Because if it does not, you realize you are advocating trivializing (and being disrespectful towards) an ENTIRE gender identity based off a minority case.

I challenge you to tell me how that's any different from saying all Arabs must be terrorist because a small percentage of them are, and so we should start to think of them as such.

Or a lot of black people are criminals because a small percentage of them are, so thinking of them as potential criminals is a good idea.

Or a lot of rapists are men, so all men should be thought of as potential rapists.


Or how about you stop being fucking obtuse and treat people on an individual basis--like they want to and deserve to be treated as, as human beings.

Are the above examples hyperbolic as fuck? Hell yes. Do cases like the ones you mentioned exist? Yeah, i'm sure there's a small percentage for who that's true. But stop trivializing and being disrespectful to an ENTIRE subsect of people, purely because you're horny and want to think you can get your dick wet.
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>>17944253
>didn't go anything for her
>trauma
It's OP's job to be delusional about wanting it to work in his benefit, not yours
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How has no one recommended OP become a qt trap yet?
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>>17944378
There is tons of academic study on this though. Prove to me that crazy lezies are not in the minority.
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>>17944394
I just want to know how to cope with this shit. I know that she won't be happy with me, even if we tried for it to work. I just don't know how to accept it. I don't want to bend her orientation in any way, she's happy with what she is. It's just really polarizing to have her in my life. She is the source of happines to me as much as our relationship is destroying me.

It's just hard and I never had to deal with anything similar to this, y'know.
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>>17944409
Dress up like a hot slut and surprise her.
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>>17944409
You are gonna have to get a sex change. Just think how happy you will be when she is in your arms and you have a pair of lovely tits
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>>17944413
>>17944418
k guise, give me a sec
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>>17944422
Your a heavy kid you ya know hahaha
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>>17944398
>There is tons of academic study on this though.
>Prove to me that crazy lezies are not in the minority.

1.) I'm not the one making broad sweeping generalizations and assertions here. The burden of proof is one you dawg.

>Prove to me that crazy lezies are not in the minority.

2.) You might want to think over that line, because with that line, you have now just implied that you believe that a majority of lesbians are gay because they were sexually abused, making your reasonable statement a fucking absurd one.

Go ahead and point to the studies that explicitly say greater than 50% of gay women are gay because they were abused (I'm sure there are studies that say a small portion were, but that's not what you're arguing here, and even if you are, see back to my previous post about treating a majority population based off a minority case)

You can't. They don't credibly exist. If they were valid, bible thumpers and anti-gay protesters would have a lot more valid ammunition to stop the global movement for gays rights.

Are a lot of gay people fucked up and crazy?
Yes.

Is there reason to be?
Yes.

In fact, right over here:
>That's part of the exact reason a lot of gay people end up feeling like they can't feel comfortable with who they are and what chips away at their own self identity and self-worth.

I mentioned that your mentality is part of the exact CAUSE of that crazy and fucked up. All the shit they go through trying to find acceptance, it's pretty fucking obvious that of course a lot of them would be fucked up (there are TONS of documented, proven, and published in textbook cultural studies on 1st/2nd/3rd+ generation immigrants and how they're way more likely to fucked up for pretty much the same reason: trying to find acceptance). But even then there are plenty of individuals that didn't go through any shit, and still came out as gay.

Does being crazy fucked up lead to being gay?
No. No one has proven that.
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>>17944499
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/30/lesbians-sexual-abuse-anne-paulk-_n_3361968.html
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>>17944523
I read the URL backwards and was hoping this was a porn link.
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>>17944134
Lol dude shes prolly a good friend for a dude because shes a lesbian
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>>17944134
This is why you do not maintain with contact with women you are attracted to but cannot fuck.
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>>17944409
>It's just hard and I never had to deal with anything similar to this, y'know.

It sucks man, but almost everyone probably experiences this at least once in their life. That is a part of growing up in life. Learning how to move on.

The only way past this is you face reality.

I already pointed out that reality in my other post:

>It's not because she's gay.
>it's because she doesn't like you enough.
>This happens. All the time. It's a natural part of life.
>The people who you end up liking, don't always end up liking you.

Drill that in to your mind until it becomes reality and you can feel you've come to terms with it.

If you can't, if you don't have that maturity or strength of will, you need to distance yourself until you can.

You need to FORCE yourself to stop thinking about it, to stop wondering about it, to move on.


>>17944523
>face palm

1.) You just linked me an article from the Huffingtonpost

Which is a blog about as credible as Buzzfeed half the time, and OnionNewsNetwork the other half...

2.) A 2 second google of Anne Paul walker tells me she is the Executive Director of the Restored Hope Network.

A religious network of ministries who believes homosexuality is a sin and whose outspoken directive is effectively to pray the gay away and abolish homosexuality.

I knew as soon as I hit post I should have spelled it out and added the world "credible" or even "proven" to studies... but this doesn't even qualify as a study. This is just some blog post about a person who is religious saying something about something they're biased against.

You even completely missed on the "study" bit

Fail on so many levels...
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>>17944134
Gradually distance yourself from her OP. Set up a mental block (google it, it's easy) when you start thinking about her to remind yourself not to do that. Make other friends and date other women.

I was you about 6 years ago. You'll never shake the way you're feeling, and it will make you miserable.

Eventually she's going to find some girl and she'll drop you like yesterday's garbage. Until then you're perpetually stuck in the worst kind of friend zone, one without any hope of reprieve.

As much as I loved the one I had the same problem with (and I did, woke up like a kid on Christmas when we were going to hang out, made me want to be a better man), if I could go back and reclaim at least 3 of those years like they never happened, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Thing was, I didn't resent or dislike the girlfriend my lesbian/bestie/crush eventually got, I resented the way she never wanted to hang out or even talk anymore. Eventually we had an argument over some money she cheated me on, some hard words were said it's been a year since we spoke.

So I dunno man. I was in your spot years ago and it ended badly, but I sort of guessed from the outset that it might.
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>>17944533
No, she's everything else but what you can imagine.
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>>17944572
But she is like my sister, I can't just ditch her. We even talked about what will happen when one of us find someone. We couldn't find any resolution, or it was too hard to tell it out loud.
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>>17944600
If you've been honest with her like this, then maybe it is okay if you were honest with her about your feelings. She already said that she would date you if you were a girl, and given how things are between the both of you, honesty will either make you both stay apart easier or bring you together even more.

And both of these options are much better than what you have now.
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>>17944523
>someone claimed it
Wow nice study you linked there m8. You could have literally linked your own post as a source and it would have been just as valid
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It's rare to find a girl who's 100% lesbian t b h, if she's really so sure about it then boy you are unlucky.
This makes me think of Chasing Amy.
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>>17946234
Yeah man, that's my whole fucking life. When it starts to finally look bright, life flicks the switch and fuck me up like a blender.
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>>17946262
Would you suck a cock? If the guy were a really good friend? If he really really wanted it?
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>>17946403
I was in a situation were my gay male friend was in love with me. I now atleast know how he felt like. No, I didn't suck his cock. I didn't fuck his boipucci either.
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>>17946471
Then how do you think this is going to end for you senpai?
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>>17946476
I said multiple times that I know that we won't ever be together. I guess I just wanted to ventilate my frustration and I picked azerbaijan brown supremacy's board for it.
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>>17946490
So you came here to whine like a pussy, shitpost, and waste everyone's time? Congratulations, this is 4chan, you've come to the right place.
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>>17944134
She probably has felt this way with 90% of her crushes. Most girls probably wouldn't date her because she is the wrong gender. Get over it quick boy, it is 10000x more difficult on her I can tell you. Pushing your sexual frustration on her will drive her away and make her distrust you and males in general. Just think of her as a bro and put the dick away.
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This has gone past a crush into creepy AF. Tell her exactly how you feel so she can cut you off. It'll be in everyone's best interest, you can move on and she won't have to risk being raped/killed by a fedoralord.
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>>17944572
OP doesn't want practical advice, he wants to whine and cry and be a victim.
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>>17946529
Disregard that dress up like a girl and use your feminine trap charm! Get Ulta to do your makeup, you want to look pretty but accessible.
>>
OP should try and distance himself from this histrionic yet sexually terrified girl and try to find someone who isn't going to toy with him.
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>>17946550
This is a classic case of a mentally ill beta orbiter. He knows she's a lesbian, but he keeps orbiting. At no point did she pretend to be interested or lead him on. You can't blame her.
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>>17944253
>got forcefully kissed
>having a bad reaction to this signals that her sexual orientation isn't valid

Or maybe she didn't like having a guy she trusted suddenly shove his tongue down her throat
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>>17946558
Lesbians don't exist. Sexuality is a maladaptive behavior produced by social and societal stressors. This is proven by the fact that gay people have more instances of mental health issues than straight people and often express being gay after a traumatic experience.
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>>17946587
Gay people having more mental health problems = their sexuality doesn't exist?

And so what, girls get rape fetishes after being raped. Some have rape fetishes even though they've never been raped. You can't deny that 1. some exist without needing trauma and 2. the expression of the rape fetish still exists in either case. Your logic is retarded.
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>>17946597
No but it proves that it is either a genetic abnormality or a severely maladaptive behavior. Not gonna touch on your example of the rape girl because that's pretty retarded and unrelated.
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>>17944134
dude it's all about being an Alpha.... Lesbians will give you some but you need to be an alpha... not a bitch. ask her straight what do I need to do to get some ??? shut up and wait for her answer
Thread posts: 57
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