>start therapy again hoping it will be different this time

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please help me

>>17942057
You can't be helped. Just try to stave off the suicidal thoughts when they appear for as long as you can.

>>17942134
I don't want to believe that.
If I can't change I'll never be able to support myself financially.

>>17941918
Just think about the fact that this bitch earns more than you in this "retarded" position and here you are being mentally ill and a little faggot on 4chan. She's leagues ahead of you but you are oh so more clever and smarter than her tut tut tut.

Try to think about that.

>>17941918
Well... What's your actual problem? That's how you solve it, by identifying what in your life actually bothers you..

>>17941918

the only difference between you and a successful person is that the successful person will suffer through what he has to to get what he wants. you wont even make a fucking decision about what it is you DO want.

>>17942221
The problem is me. I don't think it can be fixed or is worth fixing and so I have no incentive to try. Personality just IS. It's not flexible imo.

>>17942209
>>17942271
I can't stress enough how unhelpful this tough love bullshit is.
All your doing is validating my bitterness.

>>17942285

im not giving you tough love, i feel no love for you. i dont care if you choose to interpret every single fucking thing that happens in the universe as some sign that you are "right" in feeling bitter. the universe does not care about how you feel. if you choose to focus on the things that make you feel bitter, then you'll live a bitter life.

life is way simpler than people act like it is. you just think too much.

You're bitter because you're wrong and you know it. Those professionals help fucked up people by the batch, you've gone to several and after getting the same answer you still pretend you're right and everyone's wrong.

The only thing you're right is that you should kys really. Being cheated by an old roastie, dayum...

>>17942285
Awww did I fucking trigger you?

Life is what you make it bitch. You either do or you don't. You've tried not doing anything. Try doing and if you fail try try again until you are dead.

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>>17942291
this pseudo-intellectual drivel really made me think
gosh nihilism is so comforting

>>17942298
wrong about life being shit? you don't know anything about my life so you've got no leg to stand on in this regard.
>Being cheated by an old roastie
it's just a hypothetical, how i see my life playing out

>>17942299
pic related
have fun figuring out which one you are


I may seem hostile but the reality is i desperately want to be convinced otherwise. Not that you're obligated too.

>>17942317

Nah man you clearly have everything figured out. Why would you keep throwing our advice back in our faces otherwise?

>>17942317

haha, this is a great example of why youre such a failure in life. you come onto this board under the guise of asking for advice yet all you do is argue with your advisers because your self-esteem is so low that you perceive any suggestion as making a mockery of your (admittedly basic) intelligence.

people who earn their living (making 10x more money than you ever will) helping people improve their mental health are all telling you the same thing yet somehow you think you're the special snowflake for which all conventional wisdom does not apply? hate to break it to you, but you're just a fucking loser. and now that youre no longer a teenager, it should be feeling more and more embarassing. your counselors cant say this to you but you really are just a self-righteously self-destructive dweeb who wouldnt know what to do with a winning lottery ticket.

i dare you to prove me wrong.

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Hey man, just letting you know I understand you. I don't have any real advice, because I am going through nearly the exact same thing you are.

I have a question though...

How many hours per day would you say you browse /pol/?

I have been binging on it for the past few months and I've noticed it's had a profound effect on my mental state. Overstimulation of information is no good senpai.

>>17942362
why even come here? it's pretty fucked up to say this to someone with mdd.
im well aware of what a failure and a loser i am but for some reason you dont believe me because instantly pour my heart out to you in thanks for pathetic unhelpful advice.
>all you do is argue with your advisers
i wouldn't argue with you if you weren't such a condescending dickhead
actually reading through your post again u seem to be assuming a lot of things about me. perhaps stereotyping or something.
just leave. you have some growing up to do yourself if you come here and unload your frustrations on the mentally ill.

>>17942370
thanks, lets hope things get better for you one day
i don't browse /pol/ much anymore but i used to a fair bit
still get triggered by the media and such.
>Overstimulation of information is no good
yeah, imageboards in general fuck you up. not even specific to /pol/

>>17942388
*you dont believe me because I don't instantly pour my heart out to you in thanks for your pathetic unhelpful advice.

forgot a couple of words there

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>>17942388
True, /pol/ does educate/brainwash you into seeing things that you can't unsee, but it's exploiting your internal weaknesses and insecurities in order to get you to do the bidding of something bigger. It's trying to dominate your mind so you will serve.

The media is trash, it's there to play on these same weaknesses and insecurities to make money and also to dominate your mind to get you to do the bidding of someone else's agenda.

I am not saying choose ignorance and reject information, I am saying be selective. Times are hard and many people are blind to this or choose to be ignorant in order to protect something, but this doesn't mean it's over and there is no hope. People are "waking up" so to speak, and change will come. Stay strong brother.

Now, do you exercise? Do you eat nutritious foods? Do you take time out of your day to close off outside influences and try and reflect internally on your own terms? Meditation? Lift weights?

I know what you're gonna probably say: these are just cookie cutter answers everyone gives. And you'd be right. But they're cookie cutter cause they work for most people, at least most of the time.

Lifting weights won't fix everything, but it will help a lot. Eating better won't fix it all, but it will help. Meditation will seem pointless at first, but it will click and you will see why.

Please just try these things for a month. Please just do it for yourself and for those in your life who love and care about you. You aren't alone my dude, the shit you feel is real and valid, but make sure to tame the paranoid beast inside of you. These things need to be guarded and kept submissive like you would train a dog to be.

This inner struggle you face, this torment and suffering, is a waste of your energy and potential. It's there to be exploited by others, and it's your job to strengthen the gates and keep them out.

>>17942388

you need to wake the fuck up kid. you are 20 years old. listen to the nice people giving you advice. stop picturing yourself having a terrible future. start picturing yourself being awesome and doing awesome things.

you think you understand your own mind so well, but you dont. you dont know it at all. hell, even i know it better than you. your brain wont even finish developing until youre 25 years old. listen to the people around you who are there when you ask them to be.

i can read a lot into your word choice:

>stuck in a room with some bitch

youre an unhappy probably KHV who resents women.

>they try to make you believe the problems are all in your head

you are paranoid

>so sick of being lied to by these disgusting cretins

paranoid

> i'm getting cheated on by my 3/10 wife who settled for me in her late 20s.

distorted view of women, you browse /pol/ too much

seriously, kid, find some humility and just TRY to do what those nice people say. do those stupid exercises and TRY to believe they are going to work. i know, for you, that is probably the hardest part of it, but it is important: your task is to make yourself BELIEVE it will work. the character you need to live a full life HAS to come from within you and you HAVE to believe in yourself, and i know it sounds cheesy and corny and dumb but thats just how the fucking brain works! its stupid, i know, but you just have to fucking do it and keep doing it until it becomes instinct and happy is normal. its hard fucking work, HARD fucking work, but you can only do it if you convince YOURSELF that you can.

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>>17942405
>>17942411
Thanks. I don't know what else to say other than that.

>>17942421
I hate to assert authority with muh age, but just listen to the older guys for once.

I'm 27, I made a lot of dumb shit choices, I smoked a lot of weed, I've browsed a lot of /pol/ and other shit. Yeah there are kernels of truth there, but it's like finding a tiny diamond in a sea of shit. This site fucks young peoples minds if they don't have the checks and balances in place to help prevent it from happening.

And that is just how it is. You can disagree with me if you like. I don't advocate censorship, but I advocate personal awareness.

Be smart. Don't be a dumb dumb.

If I hadn't fucked my life from all of the dumb shit you are experiencing right now, I wouldn't be here telling you this, I'd be out living my life and winning every day. But I'm damaged and trying to heal like everyone else here. I'm saying breh, you're young and got a lot to prove, good, but listen. We aren't your enemies, I like seeing people succeed, just cause your anon doesn't make a difference senpai.

>>17941918
What do you want people to tell you Op?

You either force yourself to believe you can be happy and it's not hopeless (even if it is) or you'll continue to be miserable.

That's just how these things go.

>>17941918
Some people can't even make it to a therapist's office without self-medicating first. Just as some people would need to drink plenty of alcohol to be able to sit in a room of alcoholics. If you can actually get to a therapists office unscathed, I would think you'd stand a good chance of being helped.