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My friends never really snapchat me back or even text me back

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My friends never really snapchat me back or even text me back sometimes. They also make a lot of false promises like "I want to read your essay, send it to me!" then they never read it. There are two friends in particular who do this.

I had enough and I stopped sending them messages and responding to the messages they'd send me. Within 4 days I got a string of messages like "are you okay?".. "we haven't heard from you in awhile and we are worried". I guess I'm just tired of feeling like I'm putting in all the effort into these friendships. It makes me feel like they hold the "power" or something.

I need help interpreting and reacting to all of this. I know these people kind of look up to me in some way, and I influence them a lot.
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>>17941152
Just be happy that they care about you. I learned this the hard way OP, but if you try to punish someone you don't think cares enough it will just backfire.

I lost my best friend 3 months ago because I was jealous and clingy, now she pretends I don't exist. It haunts me every single day.

If you've got friends just be happy they're there, in whatever shitty, narcissistic, self-serving form they exist, be happy that they exist. If you have an issue it's better to just tell them straight up than to be passive, because if things go south you'll be wishing you had said all things you never did before shit hits the fan.

Be happy for who you have. Be happy that the effort you put in is actually worth a damn to them.
Being someone's friend is a privilege.

And if you think they hold all the power, it's because they do. Just don't let them find out.
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>>17941152
My "friends" don't even ask to read my essays, even when I hint heavily about it.

And they sure don't give a fuck nor send worried messages, when I disappear for 4 (or 8, or 25) days.

Stop complaining about things that don't exist.
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>>17941178
>>17941205

Wow. I never in my life thought a message on 4chan would hit me so hard, but you guys are right. I can't believe I'm not more grateful for what I have. One day when I don't have people telling me that they are worried, I'll look back and think how stupid it was for me to worry about this. I'm comparing the quality of my life at the moment to theirs, when in reality, I should be comparing it to people who don't even have what I have.
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>>17941357
Your friends' passive attitude, as well as your active one, is pretty much the frame of your friendship. You have to "work" around it, and accept the fact that these people are passive. It's not like they really don't care at all (which feels very different, as shown in my post above).

You may want to find more active (dominating, influential) people, but would you accept them as friends? Would you love a more passive role, and basically just being a follower? I'm not so sure.

I understand that you don't feel adequately rewarded for your efforts, but then the thing is that it doesn't have to feel like an effort. Just try less hard, and/or find more enthusiastic friends.
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>>17941405

What you said is really accurate. I remember once expressing to them how I need friends who are going to influence and push me more. My friends now really are good people though.

One of you guys here in this thread put it perfectly; I am creating problems from nothing. I told them the other week about how I have days where I don't talk to anyone and how it's depressing as fuck. Just 15 minutes ago, one of them just texted me asking me if I'm okay and how I am (its been one of those days); what a wake up call. I am lucky as hell to have people who actually care about me no matter what the dynamic is. I feel bad for even making this thread in some way. Some people have no one at all and I do have people who care, and here I am asking for more and being depressed that I don't have "more".

The bottom line is that I should be more grateful. Me three years ago would have done anything to have friends like I do now.
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>>17941152
Fuck I'm going through this though it's with friends and family. I noticed that the moment I stopped putting effort into the relationship it went to shit.

Just makes me think that it's always been shit and it was only me working on it the whole time.

Shit sucks but at least you know now rather than later.
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>>17941152
We'll they obviously care about you. Now it's up to you to say something if you genuinely feel like you are the only one putting in work. The other thing to consider is your snaps and texts are boring as fuck lol like your sending 1 word messages or just empty snapchats with random pictures.
Thread posts: 8
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