How do people enjoy being single

>>17936063
Are you me ?

>>17936063
I don't enjoy being single living without love sucks

Honestly, nobody enjoys being alone. You may come across sociopaths who don't enjoy physical or emotional contact, but they still don't like being alone.

Coming from being an "outsider" (1 friend, no real social life), I deal with it by distracting myself. Find something you enjoy doing and do it, take your mind off the matter. When you go to bed at night, watch TV, Netflix or YouTube to distract yourself.

Try a chance of scenery. Get a new job, move to a new area, or just join a new gym. Make friends with the people you meet and see if they're up for going out to do something.

You don't. I've tried.

I live on my own, im twenty one, work two jobs totaling about 65 hours a week and never have been good at making friends and been rejected by every girl i ask out. Honestly i wish i could be at work 24/7 as its the only place im not seen as a loser and people respect me.

You don't get used to it. Humans aren't made to be this way yet something went wrong with you and made achieving high social health hard or nigh impossible. Don't blame others, don't feel envy, just focus on how to improve yourself and realize how much of a disgusting piece of shit you are.

I hate being tied down or expected to be with someone at certain times. Normally I just do my own thing, and if a friend invites me out or to hang out, I consider if I want to blow them off or actually go for a while before giving an answer. It's actually very comfy. I can't hang out with people for long periods of time, even friends I Skype with I sometimes need breaks. My last gf broke up with me because I guess I didn't seem engaging or caring enough, though I honestly didn't mind

Though I might be a schizoid or something so maybe I don't count

>>17936063
nobody enjoys it, its just that some people are fucking clueless with regards to getting a partner so they put there energy into other stuff. im single for, i would love a partner but i either dont like the girls i meet or i do like them but they dump me after a few dates, so i pretty much spend my time doing other stuff.

>>17936100
That's just a case of you need to find someone who accepts you for who you are, not anything wrong with you.

>>17936063
Fuck, I would like some advice on this topic too. I think it is just something that we all face, as Erich Fromm said, something like a "separatist anxiety" and also wanting to belong to someone or some group. In my case, I don't have a family other than my father who lives away. I do have friends here and even a flirt... but what I'm talking about is that when I arrive to my apparrment and I'm alone, the house is in silence and I have work to do, I just block and don't do it because I am scared to be someone alone... Anyone relate or have advice I could use for this? :(

>>17936063
Being single is the best thing in my life.

>>17936158
Why is that

I used to think like that in my late teens/early twenties. But then year after year of never getting any attention at all from anyone made me feel like a ghost just being here but never being visible to anyone. So I stopped caring, now I prefer being alone and don't really care about that stuff. I can't remember the last time I thought about missing a partner or love.

>>17936172
I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, without caring about other people's plans.

Literally right now I can go to cinema, go sightseeing,eat a burger, watch anime, play games, dance like an idiot and nobody will feel bad or whatever because of that.

If you are together with other people you have to take into consideration what they might want, etc.

I'm almost 25 and I have never felt lonely or alone a single time in my life.

>>17936063
>Basically everyday has devolved into work, working out, suffer crippling loneliness at night then repeat

dude you've got 2 out of 3 things right now its time to focus on getting out there and socializing to meet girls just forget about your past friends that was hs/college & those days are gone

try meetup.com look at craigslist for events look at those freebie newspapers and just start going to things even if you don't like it at least once for the social experience - seriously fuck sitting around your apartment at nite - that will not get you anyway except OLD and bitter you didn't do anything when you were younger

and look into social dancing - swing contra zydeco cajun country western - forget square or ballroom those need too much lessons

>>17936250
Thanks man.

I should learn some dancing. Country two stepping is huge here. I will look into it.

If I have a person to text with once or twice a day, my thirst for social interaction is quenched. I live with a parent, and sometimes I pay hotel rooms just so I can be entirely alone, even though he doesn't really talk all that much to begin with - the sound of his existance annoys me, the shoes on the floor, the television or even the noise of his chair. I don't like being around other living people, it stresses me because they're endless noise.
I don't think I'm a sociopath either. I just like quiet environments.

>>17936260
>Country two stepping is huge here

you've got it - i did contra dancing for years & this was a gr8 way to improve my retard social skills and continually meet new girls

Life in my 30s has been great as single. The world is open for you, and you can do lots of things you couldn't in your 20s. Also plenty of single girls out there, both for dating and casual sex. If you're 35 for example, you can date girls ages 20 to 40.

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>>17936063
I like being alone from time to time. It gives me breathing room from other people. I like the independence.

>>17936095
If this is true, i respect you homie

>>17936090
this is depressing

>>17936204
Shit i was just like that from getting no women for like 4 years. Then this girl i used to really like threw herself at me. I really got nowhere with her, which is probably why i was fucked in the head for like a year afterwards. Think im getting back there though

>>17936063
> then repeat...
And those who suicide.

Yes, this basically sums up our current world state. Most people having no clue as to what to do. A few with clues who have a chance are struggling still (else we'd be aware of something new, world changing).

>>17936063
If you can't enjoy being single, fix that before getting into a relationship. It's not fair to the other person if you're using them as a fill in for what you can't do yourself.

I'm currently in a relationship and I'm starting to realize I like being alone more. I'm probably going to be single for a while by choice after this relationship.

I'm much happier single. My last relationship was annoying. Every decision I made, every activity I wanted to do, every dollar I spent, was accompanied with the thought of "well, how will my girlfriend feel about this?"

She wasn't even controlling, but almost every night she expected us to share dinner together, spend time watching Netflix, whatever. She'd go out with my friends and do what I wanted, but I could tell she felt dragged along, and couldn't keep up. The lack of freedom felt like a weight dragging me under.

Now that I'm single, life is glorious. If I wanna go drinking with my buddies after work, I can. If I wanna spend an entire day watching Ducktales in my underwear and shitposting on 4chan, I can. Eating a plate full of frozen meatballs for dinner? Whatever I want, with no judgement.

I don't understand you lonelyfags. Unless you're in your 40s, there's still plenty of people around to have fun with and bang.

>>17936972
Op here

Yeah I don't plan on getting into a relationship. I got dumped, tried going out on dates since I can feel myself how miserable I am and how much I'm trying to force it with these random girls who I really am not interested in, so I never go further than a date with them.

I do miss the companionship I had with my ex though. Being alone everyday sucks. But I do like the other anons idea of taking up dancing maybe that can help take my mind off things

>>17936993
>I don't understand you lonelyfags
They've virgins and think that a women is going to solve their problems or they've been in relationships on and off constantly and they don't know how to be alone for a little while.

>>17937009
Im not a virgin. But im thinking about becoming a "born again" because i cant get laid anyway

>>17937083
Lel had this same experience

Got laid for the first time in high school at 17 with my girlfriend.. she was a year older and went to college and broke up with me soon after. We were on again off again for a few months and had sex a few times. Then I didn't have sex or a gf for 7 years until I got tinder, banged 3 random girls then met my gf

>>17936939
There is nothing to respect about me other than the fact I'm a taxpaying member of society. I have no friends, never have been in a romantic relationship, have no hobbies other than gardening and will never be able to pass on my seed as I'm sterile. I will most likely make decent impact on history and other peoples lives.

Being single and alone isn't the natural state of man but i think i was doomed to it. One day I'll hopefully make a few friends, resign myself to this existence, or just blow my brains out. Whatever works.

>>17937256
Most likely never**

>>17936964
I've never had anyone throw themselves at me. I'm usually ignored or I get those looks that I think inspired the phrase "If looks could kill".
Its like utter disgust and just a "get away from my vicinity" look.

>>17936354
I never understand these posts. People can "do" everything once they turn 21, its not like some new rules come out at 30 and 35 like "you're allowed to kill yourself without repercussions". That would be sick, though. What exactly are you referring to?

>>17937333

I'm not him, but I'd bet he means that you're in a lot better financial and personal situation in your 30s than you are in your 20s, on average.

I'm 30 now - when I was 21, I still lived at my parents' house, and was stuck in retail management. At 25, I was just moving out of of a friend's spare bedroom, with a respectable entry level marketing job, making $35,000 a year.

At 30, I own my own house, am pushing close to a six figure job, and never really have to consider money when making a decision. Women like that. I can go places, I can be confident in my decisions... being 21 isn't a pass to prosperity.

>>17937333
Typically when you're 21 you aren't established in a career. So you're basically poor. If you played your cards right by the time you're in your 30's and if you're still single you've probably got a good chunk of change, because kids are expensive. You've got more life experience of course.

Most of my friends have families and they're kinda of poor despite making good money. I've been single for a few years and I have a shit ton of money and can do whatever I want. I wanna go out and spend $1,000 on a new toy? I just go and do it. I don't have to discuss it with my partner.

>>17937396
>So you're basically poor. If you played your cards right by the time you're in your 30's
oh...

>>17936158
>>17936208
This anon knows whats up, why in the ever loving fuck would you torture yourself with a relationship. You're essentially paying a subscription to get laid, except imagine if your Netflix account could royally fuck up your life and gtfo any time THEY want. And don't give me that "b-b-but compassion and support...". Fuck that. 9/10 girls are NOT going to show you real compassion and support. They will feign and then when you show any weakness/sadness/humanity that puts a damper on the mood, they'll ditch because Salon mag said it's empowering. Support yourself. Stop worrying about bullshit, unless something is going to physically kill you or leave irreparable damage, why the fuck should you worry about it and let it lower your quality of life?? Spend your money on YOU and enjoy life. Don't worry about trivial shit. Improve, get attractive, be attract etc etc you've seen it before, but do it for YOU. Leave yourself open and realize that those 1/10 chances of a good person entering your life can still happen. Or maybe it won't. But who gives a fuck? Being single is better than being in a bad/flaky/superficial relationship 100% of the time. There are like 1-2 exceptions but fuck it, this is enough typing for now.

>>17937009
yeah ok whatever I'm a virgin

not once did I ever look at people my age in a relationship, or in college or highschool and think "WOW that looks great I want THAT"

people who want it this bad must have absolutely zero exposure to anyone with kids or in a relationship
I have zero envy for either group

>>17937552
Good for you, but how many threads start off like this:

>I'm a virgin and I'm so lonely. How do I get a girlfriend?
>My girlfriend just broke up me, I feel like shit...

>>17937674
I don't know why this is the case, it really boggles the mind
why would you be an inexperienced virgin and want a committed relationship

>>17937720
As a khv the sex is really the least worst part of it.

Honestly, i just want to feel wanted/loved and to be held, as fuckin gay as it sounds. I want to feel love, sex or no, although sex would be really really nice.

>>17936063
I'm about to hit 25 and don't really feel that bad about it at all.

But that's mainly because from 19-23 I was in a shitty relationship and I'd rather be single for the rest of my life than be stuck with the wrong person.

There are way more pros than cons. Its really peaceful and things stay clean. I can do whatever I want all day without scrutiny.. If I made more money it'd be perfect but I'm working on that.

>>17936063
>Basically everyday has devolved into work, working out, suffer crippling loneliness at night then repeat

30 y.o. single male here.

Yup.

>>17936208
>I'm almost 25

You're too young to weigh in on the subject with an informed opinion. Not even trying to be a dick. It's just very different living that lifestyle in your mid-20s then it is just a few years later.

If you still feel that way at 32, then I'll say "Some folks are just better on their own," but for now you could just be another case of young adult enjoying independence.

>>17938309
Why 32? That's a rather arbitrary number.

>>17936063

I'm 25, I choose to be single. I don't deal with girls at all, not even sex.

I had the opportunity to go out with a great girl (she asked me out). But I turned it down. Why? Because I'm not ready for girls yet. I'm focusing on my career, getting in shape, and just squaring away my life.


>why would anyone travel alone

I've done this and honestly it's best-tier. I've traveled with friends and I've also traveled alone. Traveling alone is great!

Most people don't voluntarily choose to be single.

>>17938395

I did

>>17937129
Coming up on year 4 now. I think I matched with two girls on tinder. Both were bots. Overall I blame online dating a bit for fucking with my confidence.

>>17938445

I've had lots of opprotunities for sex the past few years, but I've turned it down every time. The girls who like me I'm not attracted to. So I won't do it

>>17936063

Cause I don't need another person to make me happy. I can do that all by myself.

>>17936063
>How do people enjoy being single

How do people enjoy being in relationships all the time? It's like you see someone break up and then a few weeks later they're with someone new and on average they spend like a month being single in their entire adult life. I don't get it.

What does holding hands feel like

>>17938309
Even though Im 24 and now deal with people younger than me by 5-8 years dictate what they think they know being woefully ignorant of things they have yet to experience I have to disagree with you. Mid 20s gives you a weigh in on this.

Lived on my own for 5 years and it the best decision ever. Recently my friends even have their own places now and I dont have the city I moved to all to myself anymore. I relate to older people better than people my own age as well. As years go on the feeling of lonliness gets sharper but for every night it does theres 2 nights where I feel relieved I can go to bed peacefully in the knowledge tomorrow is my oyster.

Ive travelled alone and enjoyed the fuck out of meandering aimlessly answering to no one and the hobbies and habits I have leave little to no room for an SO and said hobbies. one or the other suffers.

Maybe I will grow out of it like you say but I also thought that when I was 18 and people told me the same thing

>>17938606
Oh yeah I don't get that either

I get deeply attached to someone if I date them.

>last gf
>tried not to get attached
>acted super casual with her for the first few months
>relationship progressed
>opened up to her more than anyone in my life because she was so kind to me
>got attached
>a year later she dumped me

So I don't want to be in a relationship but I also don't like being single. Wish we could just go back to the relationship we had before she got all crazy

>>17938658
Dude what the fuck? Was just lurking the thread and you sound just like me. EVERYTHING you said resonates...a lot. It can suck sometimes to be single but it's usually pretty great. I almost despise how eager some people are to be in a relationship, a lot of them just seem like they're lonely and desperate and want someone to put up with their shit. I'm all for being with the right person because you want to be, but I'm not about to couple up because it's what I'm "supposed" to do.

>>17938675
Lets put that relateability to the test then

>all opInions stay the same
>single is great
>get an unexpected hug from a girl
>CUDDLE ME FOREVER LETS GET MARRIED

My lifestyle is always endangered

>>17936095

Hey bud keep trying I believe in you.

>>17937333
>>17937364
>>17937396
Finances are indeed the major part of what I meant. Life experience does matter too, at 30 you are far more mature than at 21 and that translates into attractiveness in the eyes of girls.

My brother is married and with kids. Him and his wife both have decent jobs, but they never have extra money. They have to save up for stuff like yearly vacations. Me? I have more money than I know what to do with. I can book expensive vacations, buy expensive toys at will. That's not something I could do at 21 as a penniless student.

tl;dr If you have your shit together and built a decent career for yourself, life as a single in your 30s is awesome.

>>17936063
I'm in that great transition period where I hate being alone, yet also hate the idea of doing things with other people. The utter loneliness sucks mad dick though.

>>17936250
meetup is so hit and miss though. ive had a 10/10 group and few duds, but even in the 10/10 group where people literally love me as family i never met anyone I could date. some of us are just not good enough, and instead of harping on the impossible we really just need strategies to deal with reality

Life just kinda settles in to a routine.
Sure your friends have lives of their own but they will out leave time for you. It's just needs to be a regular thing.
The older you get the less time you have. So spontaneous hanging out almost never happens
For instance I have a group of friends that I play DnD with on Wednesdays. A band that practices Tuesday and Thursday and plays live Saturday. Chinese lessons on Monday and Friday. Between that, working out, and the job it hardly leaves any time to myself so I don't really get to feel lonely.
Being in a relationship would mean I have to sacrifice some of the things I enjoy doing and do things I don't really enjoy for the sake of sex. Thats why I prefer being single. If I really need a fuck I can always just hit on collage age skanks around bars and get my quota filled when I have time.
But maybe I'm just a selfish asshole

>>17938740
Well that was me for a while, but recently if a girl makes physical contact I think of what it would be like to sleep with her and little else.

>>17936063
Travel isn't expensive unless you have been mind cucked by the commercial tourism industry.

>If you have your shit together and built a decent career for yourself, life as a single in your 30s is awesome

This is what I want to do

>>17938379
>Why? Because I'm not ready for girls yet
>I'm 25

>>17939644

What are you confused about?

>>17936063
Watch as lunatics keep telling you that you don't need human contact, that they mistake independence as the same as being alone and the fact the that they think of loneliness in only in terms of romantic relationships.

>>17936063
I enjoy it, though there's probably something wrong with me on a psychological level.

Let's just say that I'm an autist incapable of expressing and reading emotions, so maintaining a relationship is a hassle. It's too draining for me. Hell, I struggle to stay in touch with my friends and family, the few romantic relationships I've had almost ruined me. They all wanted something I couldn't provide and thought I would be able to since my fake outgoing persona is convincing.

I'm happy with me life. I don't have to pretend anymore. I have many hobbies and I have all the time in the world to dedicate myself to them. I think I only ever tried to date because of social pressure, tbf.

>>17936063
You don't.

You either get lost in your studies/work, take your hobby (provided it hasn't been invaded by corporations and normies) to an insane level rendering you even more of a weirdo or just commit suicide.

>>17939693
>to an insane level rendering you even more of a weirdo or just commit suicide

That's mean

>>17939362
Just a plane ticket alone is very expensive lad.

Like I'm in America and if I wanted to go to Europe the ticket alone would be over 1000 dollars

>>17937495
This. People who are like OP put relationships on a pedestal without realizing that the other person is someone with as much of an independent mind as you. There are pros and cons, and trust me, the cons of being single are mostly better than being tied down to another person. Enjoy your independence, once you have a relationship you'll want it back.

>>17939916

www.google.com/flights

You can get cheaper lad. I paid $700 for roundtrip tickets from Washington DC to Venice, with a long stop in Amsterdam before coming home. On Air France and KLM too!!

>>17936063
Some of us are just introverts who need next to no social contact to avoid loneliness. I don't think you can learn to be like that though, it's a matter of personality, so reading about the lives of happy loners here probably won't help

>>17936993
Can't speak for others or you being a faggot but I don't want a woman because I need it to not feel like a loser or some bullshit reason like that.

I want it because I want someone I care for and cares for me that I can go through life with. I want a partner I can count on.

>>17936063
I enjoy being alone, bunch of pansies in here. I also enjoy being with friends and family but can keep to myself just fine.

>>17936095
"Some say people are social creatures, that they can't stand to be alone. But you can live pretty well by yourself. Sometimes instead of being alone in a group it's better to have real solitude by yourself." -Faye valentine

I'm not at aposition to share my love yet. I know I will be a nerdy wreck filled with insecuritiesand will have.nothing to offer but sex in a relationship.

And that's fine by me. I am improving myself.

>>17939729
Hey, I'm just being truthful, these threads regularly just end in random anons practically boasting that they're real happy alone despite that not applying to many anons.

I think the main problem is many anons here have no meaningful friendships, so there's nothing to base a relationship on anyway.

Most issues could be solved by getting decent friends. Where? Fuck knows.

>>17941207

I get that some people here have issues making friends, but for the life of me, I can't understand it unless they're shutting themselves in and not making an effort to connect with anyone.

There's meetup groups, there's work, there's hanging out at a bar and getting to know the guy sitting next to you... it's a matter of giving them a call and saying "let's go get a drink!"

I know there's exceptions to this, and some people are just autistic or don't relate to others even in their niche hobbies, but still...

I feel bad bragging about it, but honestly, I'm the guy from earlier who is totally jazzed now that he's single - it's all about embracing your independence and figuring out what you enjoy.

I feel like most people who are so uncomfortable without a relationship on here are looking for a new mom, instead of a legitimate relationship. It's why we get all of the shit about being cuddled and held from men who shouldn't need that kind of thing.

>>17941207
>>17941233
I know this may be mind boggling for you two, but not everyone has this I'll go crazy if I'm alone mentality. Some people would be ok with eternity and a library.

>>17941233
You have to factor in the lack of money.

Even with a job (so imagine if you're a broke student), simple things like buying drinks in a bar can be just out of reach.

So, you're all alone. You live in a terrible suburb far away from everything, you do your work, your commuting, and then you're at home with €0 to spend. Just the cost of existing ate everything up. Here's for the "independence".

How are you going to meet new people now? And don't rely on your old friends, they're all gone.

>>17941233
It's easy to find acquaintances to talk to but it's very hard to make friends who really care about you past college age. I quite like having acquaintances as well as friends because not all my friends share my niche hobbies.

>>17936063
Being single has it's good points and bad points. On the good side, you don't have to deal with arguments with someone you're dating over stupid things such as: "Oh, you're going out with your friends? Fine. Go. Whatever. I don't care." When they CLEARLY care. And you don't have to worry about getting dumped or having to deal with the whole breaking up process.

But the downside of being single, (definitely if you're in my case) - most of your friends are in a relationship therefore they're spending 98% of their time with them and you're kinda left either being a third wheel IF they decided to include you in their outings or you're kinda just left spending time with yourself a lot without anyone to talk to. When you're single, you're free to do casual sex or FwB and such even those can end up messy due to either you or the other person developing feelings and that leads to a whole new headache -- that is unless you're lucky and you're with someone that knows how to separate love and lust.

You save more money being single. You don't have to worry about buying gifts every couple of months due to some holiday. But on the other side of the coin, you CAN get sad during the holidays cause there are a few that revolves around romance.

Just overall being single can be good and can suck. It's just all how you handle it. As for me, personally, I'm....content being single. Sure, I wouldn't mind having a love one or hell, someone to just hang out with who isn't all in their s/o's asshole 24/7 but then again, I'm not so desperate for companionship that I'm sitting at the bar drinking alcohol all night long waiting for someone to notice me and/or wallowing in loneliness. I get gloomy some days but it's not consistent.

>>17941353
but nobody has eternity, let alone the offer to spend it in a peaceful place. all we have is short, confused lives full of uncontrollable stimuli.

>>17941233
>There's meetup groups, there's work, there's hanging out at a bar and getting to know the guy sitting next to you...

I think you underestimate how ill-equipped some anons are, even if they're not autistic. Spending the majority of your time alone does not build social skills and at 20-something you're pretty far behind and nobody has time to play catch-up with you.

As for niche hobbies, it's kind of difficult now that everybody is apparently a geek/gamer/nerd, so the whole thing's become diluted. I mean, I went (with aquaintances) to coupla cons and they were basically excuses for normies to dress up. Actual geeks my age were in established social circles (and they were pretty socially well-adjusted which I guess comes from having some friends even if they were all geeks).

Independence is slightly different from being alone.

>>17941353
I know it might seem crazy to you but most people have reading comprehension, if you had it you would've noted that I said "many anons" and not "all anons".

>>17941518

That post is so true.


I never really get to hang out with friends anymore because they all have girlfriends. Fuck, most of them take forever to even respond to a text. One of my friends who likes to hang out sometimes ALWAYS included his wife. Which feels awkward. Every single time we've ever hung out, his wife tagged along. Every time..

I like being single because I avoid all the bullshit and drama I seem my friends put up with. I like having money so I can travel the world (which my friends can't do).

But, I do feel pretty lonely. And if I do make new friends, they get consumed by their relationships and our contact dies after some time. It sucks. I try to make female friends because I like talking to girls. But it fucking fails every time because they get boyfriends.


It's frustrating. Oh, and I don't believe in casual sex. That's not a option, and I've lost female friends because 2 of them wanted to get with me in the past and I said no..

>>17941561
There are two kinds of singles ITT:

>I'm single and that saves me a ton of money, allowing me to do things
>I'm single because I don't have money, and can't do anything in the first place

Guess which ones like to be single?

>>17941589

Guess which ones should get a job?

>>17941561
Looks like you and I are the same except with opposite genders. I'm female and I try to make more male friends (cause in my case, girls gossip and start stupid shit drama between other girls too much) but whenever I try to befriend a guy, they kinda take it the wrong way and think I'm chatting with them because I want to date them or have sex with them. And it's just.... uh...no, I just want a dude to chat with about vidya games or anime cause most girls my age aren't into that.

And yeah, like you, I've attempted making new friends too and they just fizzle out after a month or so. It's very weird when it happens because they seem so interested in being your friend the first week or so, and they say something like "wow, anon. we should totally hang out sometime!" ....but that hang out never comes. It leaves you wondering what the fuck happened. What changed? Am I that boring?

>>17941606
I already stated in >>17941437 that it's possible to struggle financially with a job (even with a good degree).

Not everyone is a rich American who's got a very high salary coupled with ludicrously low costs of living. In other parts of the world, you pay your rent (for a small flat), food, transportation, clothing, utilities, taxes... and you have 0 bucks left.

So you're tired, alone, and moneyless. How do you become non-single?

>>17941610
Protip: find gay (male) friends

>>17936286
Im the same way and think im a sociopath.

>>17941610

It's really depressing desu. And everyone keeps saying "oh anon, you need to find a girlfriend!" Trying to guilt me into it. The more they keep saying it the lonlier I feel.

>>17941739
"You need to find a girlfriend!"
"Yeah? Introduce me to bitches you know."

Problem solved.

>>17941776
>you really need a girlfriend, I just got married and i've never been happier
Your wife have any friends?
>fuck no
Thanks.

>>17941792
That's what I meant by "problem solved": because you can be sure most of them won't lift a finger to help you. Thus, they will avoid making this dumb remark later.

Also works with "introduce me to your sister".

>>17941708
I had some but they moved away because my state is backwards and don't favor gay people.

>>17941739
>"oh anon, you need to find a girlfriend!"

Another good thing about being single, you don't have to worry about people being in your business when you DO have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Cause once you get one, they want every single detail about your relationship. Or maybe that depends where you live. I live in the south so people likes to be nosy.

>>17941610
Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, as a dude it's really frustrating when women look at me and go "he'd be such a cool friend" and pretty much "friendzone" me from the beginning. I struggle to be friends with a lot of girls because the sexual desire gets in the way, and I feel bad and sort of mediocre because I can never command female sexual attraction. I'm always just a friend, a really good friend, but I'm never wanted for more.

I also need to be honest here and say that while I have a lot of female 'friends' I'd probably sleep with the vast majority of them. This isn't unique to me at all. Numerous studies and anecdotes have confirmed this is pretty typical - women underestimate the attraction their male friends feel for them, whereas men over estimate the attraction their female friends have for them. The average dude has not only his biology, but a lot of society and his male peers screaming at him to get laid a lot and/or get a girlfriend.

While I do appreciate female friendship, it really sucks how every time I make a female friend and get a little hopeful thinking there might be something there, she ends up not liking me that way. I always liked the idea of starting out a relationship slowly and getting to know someone first, so it's frustrating when I get friendzoned all the time. It's as if something is wrong with me that causes women not to find me attractive - I'd almost go so far as to say that if I changed myself in a big way, I'd have a lot less female 'friends' but possibly a lot more partners. I can't imagine a girl just wanting to be friends with a guy she's insanely attracted to.

>>17941808

I've never had a girlfriend. So I didn't know that

>>17941886
>While I do appreciate female friendship, it really sucks how every time I make a female friend and get a little hopeful thinking there might be something there
Just stop doing this altogether. I'm saying this as a woman and this really applies to most of my gender peers. Women separate the men they date and the men they are friends with into two separate categories. I would never even sleep with any of my male friends. There is no single reason for that, other than that I am just not romantically and sexually attracted to them. They are great people, they definitely aren't ugly or undesirable, they just aren't my type.

Stop seeing your female friends as potential partners. If you can't, be fair to yourself and cut the friendship. But it's a huge mistake if you read the signals your female friends are sending to you as indicators of other than platonic interest. I for example cook for my male friends, we go for walks, watch movies together. I'm still not romantically interested in them. Gain enough confidence not to fall for every woman who shows a bit of niceness to you.

And lastly, remember that there are women out there who are willing to date you.

>>17941919
I didn't really word that right. I don't literally fall for every single that is nice to me, but it's frustrating when I do and the feeling is not returned, which seems to happen every single time these days.

>remember that there are women out there who are willing to date you
Then why don't they come forward? Why are all the women who are interested in me somehow invisible, but the ones who just want friendship are so quick to add me on social media and want to hang out all the time? Do women act more confident and careless around guys they are not into vs. guys they are into, or is there something I'm not getting?

I mean...I literally went on a trip with a female friend of mine last year. I knew deep down that she wouldn't want anything more than friendship on the trip, but it's just strange how if I ask out girls I get told "no", yet if I just want to hang out as friends they're like "oh, absolutely". You don't think that has anything to do with me being "too nice", do you?

>>17941886
>starting out a relationship slowly and getting to know someone first

And how many dates would it take to have sex, ideally?

>>17941947
You should definitely use these girls as "wingmen" in social situations, or as introducers to know other girls from their circle.

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>>17941947
>Then why don't they come forward? Why are all the women who are interested in me somehow invisible, but the ones who just want friendship are so quick to add me on social media and want to hang out all the time? Do women act more confident and careless around guys they are not into vs. guys they are into, or is there something I'm not getting?
Yeah, definitely. I am the most charming and confident person around people I don't feel like I have to impress, however if I like someone, I act all clumsy and just lose the grip. We are all like this, more or less.

The fact that you have female friends and that they like your company and are fine with seeing with you in public really shows that there are likeable traits about you and you are great company.

>You don't think that has anything to do with me being "too nice", do you?
I really hate the concept of the entire "nice guy" syndrome. The truth: any sensible woman with a brain will appreciate a person who is nice to her and treats her well. This is a no-brainer really. However when that backfires is if someone is super insecure and is willing to bend over backwards for a woman, will put up with what ever shit she throws at him and is basically acting like a doormat. That's not attractive for anyone. There are also people who are so insecure that they'll do everything to impress people. Also not attractive.

The key is to be confident. Not cocky, but have strong personal boundaries and communicate them openly. Don't be anyone's puppy. Be nice and confident, but don't let people walk all over you and wipe their dirt on you. I'm pretty sure that the biggest problem you got is the slobby attitude and lack of inner confidence. Cause if you got some of that, you have hacked the code and you got a magical power which will indefinitely attract women. I promise you this.

>>17941959
There's no hard number. I just need to feel comfortable, and feel like I can trust her to not run off with her ex or just ghost me. I get a lot of advice that I should be more pushy with girls, but the reason I don't do this is because I'm far more concerned with being hurt or being with the wrong person. I realize I need to change myself as well as meet other people if I'm ever to meet somebody I'm honesty compatible with, but yeah.

>>17941974
Eh, frankly I don't talk to most of them anymore. They get boyfriends/other friends and we lose contact, but that's how it happens with almost all of my friends these days so. Sometimes they'll offer to let me know if they 'find somebody', but to me it always rings hollow, like they just feel bad that I'm an idiot who's too boring to find somebody. I really do need to change and stop being such a fuckin chump (this isn't bullshit self pity, I'm being honest)

>>17941997
I agree with the confidence thing 100%, although I still think my real issue is that I am not exciting enough.

This is a generalization, obviously, but most women I meet love to drink a lot, sometimes smoke, have tattoos or have shown interest in them. They love clubs and bars. I'm not terribly interested in any of those things...I've done the clubs and bars and got drunk a couple times but I mostly keep to myself. It's shit. How am I supposed to connect with women if I have nothing to talk about? And what of the ones who make tattoos such a priority that a lot of them act like they wouldn't even date a guy without them?

>>17942010
It sounds like you're actually friendzoning yourself with some of these girls, because you just don't push when it's time to push.

Here's my basic chart of the number of dates it takes to have sex:

>sex at 1st date: sometimes possible, but will turn a potentially good relationship into some pump and dump
>sex at 2nd date: perfect
>sex at 3rd date: okay, you didn't botch it
>4th date: what are you doing nigga lmao
>5th date: your time is already over, you'll never sex her up
>6th date: achieved "new gay friend" status
>7th date: are you kidding me, invest your time on someone else now
>8th date: world record holder

If you don't create the conditions of a sexual intercourse around the three first dates, you become a mere friend due to your lack of assertiveness.

>>17942051
Yeah well it really just sounds like that you guys aren't compatible. I get what you mean, my last boyfriend was like that. I'm really outgoing, social, I need a lot of action around me. The light of the party. He on the other hand is super calm, cool and collected. All things which I appreciate, but at the end of the day, we just weren't working. I travel frequently and I like taking risks, being spontaneous. Stupid even. That's how I feel alive and that's how I wanna live my life - at least at this point of my life. He always did the right thing, worked hard, saved money, lived by the book. Good for him, but I wanna be with someone who is a bit wilder like me.

You (and my ex) just have to find girls who are like you. But I get it that it's harder to find those girls, cause those often are the types to hide in the shadows were as us louder ones often steal the spotlight.

>>17942054

This is depressing..

I only want to have sex with someone that I'm REALLY into. So, unless I fall
Hard for her, I probably wouldn't want to have sex within the first few weeks of dating...

I'm not ok with FwB and casual sex

>>17942074
>I like taking risks, being spontaneous. Stupid even

W-what are you wanting to do

>>17942054
>lack of assertiveness

I hear about this all the time and I see why people bring it up...but it feels like it's always in the context of casual sex, never anything "meaningful". People just hook up because they wanna bang...and that's FINE, but I don't think it's for me. I don't want to move fast because then it just feels cheap and meaningless, I guess this is the root of "scarcity" mentality but who knows.

>>17942074
Yeah, almost all the girls I talk to are into the partying and shit...a lot of others have boyfriends. Online dating does not work because I'm too short and I'm not white. I really don't think I'm gonna meet somebody for a long ass time and should probably just give up and enjoy my continued singlehood for now and however long it lasts.

>>17942096
It's not just some certain actions I could name. No one can just become more interesting or exiting. Everyone should do the things they enjoy cause they like it, not force theirselves to act in a certain way to impress someone else.

I'm just witty and spontaneous risk takes by nature and my ex isn't. That's all.

>>17942101
Yeah just stop chasing girls who are the polar opposite of what you are. For real. Save your time. If I was you I would not give up on dating or stop putting any effort to it. That doesn't make a difference and it makes the odds of you finding that partner you want very, very low. You can either put in the work and enjoy the possibility of a good result or sit back, do nothing and live with the fact that most likely you'll be single for a loooooooong time.

>>17942080
But it's not casual sex. It's how things happen. That's how it's supposed to be. Why would you want to date a girl if you're not really into her from the start?

>weeks of dating
Here's the problem. It goes nowhere. Imagine a TV series where absolutely nothing happens, even after 12 episodes (weeks). That's the experience you're giving away to them. Doesn't matter if you used the 12 episodes to prepare something that will blow our mind. It's too long. We switched to another show.

>>17942111
To be perfectly honest it's not like I don't try but I never, ever meet women who even come close to what I'm looking for so I feel like I'm almost forced to act a certain way just to fit in at all.

Being a combination of physically unattractive and introverted by default is, well, not easy. I don't know if pursuing people, anyone, is really in my best interest, since I can't think of a single person who stands out as "right" for me at all.

It's such a wondering FUCKING feeling to be someone who put their friends first, but your friends prove they don't do the same for you.

All of my friends, ALL of them. Male and female have slowly been less and less responsive to me. I don't over talk to text them. Some I only try to talk to once every few weeks.. but no, they never text me first. If I ask if they want to skype. They fuckkkjng ignore it. My IRL friends fucked me over a week ago, and these were close friends I've had for 15 FUCKING YEARS

Im so fucking furious. Fan-Fucking-tastic! Fuck them!

>>17936063

I enjoy it because that means 100% of my paychecks go to me and my expenses,

women are expensive, and ever needy.

>>17942101
>casual sex, never anything "meaningful"

But sex is precisely the "meaningful" thing that STARTS the relationship. That's why it has to occur soon. Because sexless dates are not the first part of a relationship. They are nothing. There is no commitment. There is no meaning. It's just sterile talk with a stranger that will be forgotten.

You make it sound like sex is the ultimate goal, while it's just the foundation of something better that encompasses it.

>>17942155

>They are nothing. There is no commitment. There is no meaning. It's just sterile talk with a stranger that will be forgotten.

You have no idea how deeply that hurts my heart right now.

>>17942155
But how am I supposed to start it when absolutely nobody is interested in having it with me?

>>17941606
Lel what

>have job
>make roughly 2200$ a month
>rent: 1000$
>utilities... varies. But can be almost 200$ in the summer
>car payment: 350$
>cell phone: 50$
>gym: 30$
>gas: 160$

then there's food, paper towels, toilet paper, laundry detergent, etc.

Just getting by is incredibly expensive

>>17942137
People evolve and it looks like you didn't evolve in the same direction, or at the same pace.

Text them that you inherited $625,000 (or won it gambling) and that you think about cruising around the world. Ask them which countries you should visit. See the hilarious reactions.

>>17942180
This such bullshit. A lot of these people I've done so much for. This 1 female friend and I had become very close. We told each other everything. Visited each other. She used to text me often. But nothing in 6 months?? She acts like she's so excited when I send her a text but the convo dies

FUCK IM SO PISSED I CAN BARELY TYPE THIS

WHY GET FRIENDS IF THEY JUST WILL ABANDONG YOU

>>17941897
Well, when you do get a girlfriend - hopefully you don't have to worry about nosy people but be wary, my friend. They are out there want to know everything that's going on with your relationship(s).

>>17942219

I'm never going to get one

>>17942170
Keep a warm heart with a cool head, and hopefully you'll find someone that will let you forget them too.

>>17942172
If she did not reject you explicitly when you were stroking her thigh (while watching a movie at your place), it's not a "no".

>but she doesn't want to come at my place after date #2 or #3
Use your efforts for someone else.

>>17942080
>I'm not ok with FwB and casual sex

But here's the thing is about that. With how this generation is now and all - FwB, casual sex, having side chicks and dicks are the "it" thing to do. Or you have something that I have with my current guy right now. We're friends, we talk, we hold hands, we kiss, we cuddle, spend time together, say "i love you"s, flirt, sext, have sex, etc... BUT he prefers us not to be label "boyfriend/girlfriend" and say we're not a couple despite that everything that we're doing classify as dating-couple behavior. It's fucking stupid but it's just how this generation's version of "dating" is now. Or I'm actually a side-chick and just don't know it lol.

>>17942203
Friendships die, like anything else.

>>17942236
Shut your face right now. You're going to get one.

>>17936090
I enjoy being alone.
All I need is the internet or tv. Course I bet there's plenty of people thinking they know me better than I know myself.

I'm in the process of embracing it. I've had friends here and there, but each one I wound up regretting in high school. A lot of bad school experiences. I made a new friend as an adult for the first time in years and we were close enough they just invited me to their place. They were so nice to me, always giving me genuine compliments I've never gotten, that I honestly didn't know how to handle. They accepted me for my shit. I found out things about them that I didn't know how to deal with so I kind of freaked out and cut contact with them out of fear. It was nothing bad, but, I feel like I had gotten too close. I knew too much about them. I have never gotten so close to someone before. It wasn't even sexual either. They didn't do anything wrong to me, and tried getting in touch with me several times after we last spoke, but I ignored them and haven't seen them since.

I always felt like a burden to be around anyways, and I keep telling myself it's better like this. I told my friend that too. I don't feel 'incorrect' about it, but it was a shit thing to do, and I think about it many nights. I can't be satisfied with myself or others, so it's best to just not bother. I feel like there's nothing but eventual regret to get out of people, whether it be from me or them. I can't believe that someone genuinely wants to be around me, even when they do. I have some aquaintances now, but I feel like I'm completely shut off from people now, and have never seen anyone as friend-material. I don't try anymore. I can't tell if I want to. Who fuckin cares, I can't be happy, may as well be unhappy with myself instead of inflicting others with it

All ya'll sad mothafuckas need Jesus.

>>17936250
Best poast /thread

>>17941548
>Spending the majority of your time alone does not build social skills and at 20-something you're pretty far behind and nobody has time to play catch-up with you.
Definitely. I've been trying to talk to my peers more often but it's mostly unknown territory, since I've been living a solitary life for the better part of a decade now. I try to engage in group conversations but I fall to the background, and it's just so much more familiar being that guy who sits in the back corner.

>>17942999
Yeah that's pretty much what I meant, that there's not much to talk about when you lead an eventless life. It's actually a minor miracle that I talk to dudes since gaming/geekery in currently cool now but I avoid talking about it in-depth cos I know it's just a thing for them.

It's why I'm slightly annoyed by gaming/general geek stuff becoming "cool" cos it's now much harder to meet people with a deeper commitment to the hobby.

>>17942270

But I ready don't feel comfortable with FwB/casual sex. I think it's weird..

>>17942270
That sounds really....strange to me. I know a lot of people in the same situation and it's worrying, but I suppose this is how people wanna do it now and I'm the odd one out, the boring idiot who's out of touch.

>>17942249
>If she did not reject you explicitly
Funny, in my experience anything other than yes is no. If she's not receptive to my advances, it's a no. I totally understand that women will go and hook up with guys they really like straight away - my conundrum is that they never want to hook up with me.

>but anon, there ARE women who are interested
I don't think you understand - the farthest I ever get is someone who's "interested" in the vague idea of me sweeping them off their feat with my charm and amazing alpha male "game". They would be down to fuck me IF I wasn't a complete fucking loser with women, but the unfortunate truth is that I am.

When I fail to do that, they just move on to the next dick.

Most of the time it doesn't even get this far though. Most of the time they have a boyfriend, a guy they're talking to or crushing on. Most of the time it's incredibly obvious that I'm not even on their radar, I'm not a sexual entity at all, and they knew this within 30 seconds of meeting me. Obviously that's all my fault though, the only thing I'm upset about is the fact that in the past five years since I kissed a girl at the end of HS, I STILL haven't managed to become attractive enough for women to want me for more than just some fucking beta nice guy friend for them to hang around with like I'm basically a female.

>>17943138
>FwB/casual sex.
This shit has ALWAYS been happening.

>>17943382

I don't want that tho..

>>17943138
>>17943394
If you don't want it or feel highly uncomfortable with it, then you'll have to wait until you find someone that comes along that wishes to have more with you. I was single for five years until I stumbled upon my guy of interest So in my case it was either, continue to be single or take what you can get. Maybe eventually, my guy will view me and call me as his girlfriend but who really knows but I was getting bored of being single so I took it. But I'm telling you, there's a lot of people out there that are only interested in FwB/casual sex.

>>17943184
It is strange. Not only I'm in that situation, a few of my friends (guys and girls) are in the same boat. Maybe it has something to do with in this day and age, divorce and break-ups are such a common thing that people are now afraid to go all in for commitment?

>>17943547

This is the most unmotivating post of the day.

>take what you can get

Look, I may be extremely inexperienced with anything involving sex and relationships. But I KNOW that what you said is the wrong idea.

Why settle for less? Why? Why choose someone just because they are all I can get. Even if I don't actually want them? Why? So I can get divorced in a few years?? Why would I choose someone, to share my life with them if I don't actually WANT them.

>>17943559
You misread everything that I said, anon. I said in MY CASE it was either continue to be single or take what you can get. And I said that *I* got bored of being single, so *I* took it. Which means *I*, personally, don't mind too much of the FwB/casual sex thing. It doesn't make me that uncomfortable that I find it weird. Does that mean I'm gonna marry this guy and have kids? Lol, no. I'm with him now because I've dealt five years of being single and I'm bored of it.

But if YOU don't want it or feel uncomfortable with it, then YOU'LL have to wait until you find someone that wants more. There's a possibility you'll be waiting for a good bit but hey, it's your choice. No one is forcing you to do anything.

>>17943559
Even if you find your TRU WUV, you'll probably get divorced in a few years. You must be unaware how grossly common divorce is.

>>17943642

That's why I'm never going to get married

>>17943394
I used to think like that when I was in my early 20s. Then I realized the True One Love thing is just a meme. I now have no problem having casual sex. And guess what, casual sex/FwB can turn into a real relationship. In fact, if you are dating someone and aren't having sex after a few dates it's not looking good.

>>17943648
>>17943559
Most of the people I know who think like you had to wait until their 40's or 50's to find somebody seriously. And by seriously I mean the kind of relatively drama free, bullshit free relationship you'd always wanted but started to believe wasn't possible because everyone your age is a fucking immature, emotionally driven hot mess.

Although I guess, in my case I'm just boring to most people anyways, so it doesn't really matter since I'm not even good enough for women to want sexually or for a fling.

>>17943686

I don't believe in the one true love thing. But I'm not going to have sex with someone unless I have feelings for them and actually want them.

>>17943692

I'm fully expecting to never ever get married Tbh. Not going to even hope or try for it

>>17943686
> And guess what, casual sex/FwB can turn into a real relationship.

This.

>>17943692

That's what happened with my aunt recently. She's in her 50s and she was single for 20+ years and she finally found herself a boyfriend cause she thinks that way also.

>>17943703
>I don't believe in the one true love thing. But I'm not going to have sex with someone unless I have feelings for them and actually want them.

So what's wrong with FwB and casual sex then?

Enjoy the fact of being single? Why would you ever do this in the first place?

Just try to enjoy life in general, focus on that, and relationships will come and go.

>>17943778
I told them earlier they need Jesus. They don't listen, anon.

>>17943776

what?

I said I'm not going to have sex with someone unless I have feelings for them. That obviously rules out FwB. I don't see how people can be so ok with swapping bodily fluids with someone they don't actually like.

Have you met women this day and age? Being single is living the fucking dream.

>>17943824
>That obviously rules out FwB. I don't see how people can be so ok with swapping bodily fluids with someone they don't actually like.

Not necessarily. Not all FwBs are that black and white. You can have two people that do have feelings for one another or do have some sort of attraction for each other BUT not exactly ready to leap into that big leap of "okay let's make it official". FwB can be that little medium. Past friendship but not exactly at the relationship status.

>>17943998

I don't see it

>>17936063

>33 here
>Never dated virgin *Shrugs*

I grew out of I must lie about having sex 24/7 at 22. I realized how I choose to live would either mean I'd never get laid or no girl friend. I had some depression for maybe 2 years give or take a few months.

Then I decided. Who gives a shit? So many people bitch about not being laid, or no bf/gf. Then the other side of the coin is people have bf/gfs and get laid all the time. And they are just as miserable as the "forever alones."

So you tell me. Why both feel the same? It's cause neither matters. Having a bf/gf having sex. Or being alone no friends bf/gf. Don't change the fact that the vast majority of your time. You will not be constantly interacting with others anyway. Online doesn't count, using cellphones to text doesn't count, playing games doesn't count, etc etc.

Inn the end. As of 33. I feel happy. I started learning to draw. Been writing for years. Not making drawings of said writings is great. I have no one holding me down. So I go do solo things. I've gone hiking for days on end. I've traveled to a few different countries I've never been.

I can draw and write in peace. I still get lonely. I mean I'm not a fucking robot. So I can feel bad. But they are short lived. Cause the way I live and enjoy my own time is a solo activity.

I'd rather not waste my effort on a girl, who in most cases will be a single mom or a slut turned "Oh shit! I need to ride on the cash of a desperate losers I wouldn't bat an eye towards while riding the tiny nigger dick carousel."

And there you have it. I would rather enjoy my free time and living my life. And not bring in another who suddenly realizes they are aging and used up.

Let the losers who've fucked skanky ass sluts think themselves awesome and such cause they fucked loosey hood rat. They did you a favor and pulled the shitty girls from the swimming pool. This goes for both dudes and girls.

There's nothing wrong with being alone.

>>17944025
I'm close to you age and also enjoy being single and doing whatever the fuck I want. But holy shit, you sound bitter. You called everyone who has had sex a loser.

Just because I'm single doesn't mean I can't enjoy sex. I do, actually, casual sex, FwB, and I've had gfs too. I don't see why you have to be so bitter about other people having fun.

>>17936063
>no responsibility to anyone but myself
>no one to lie to me
>no one to falsely represent themselves and then reveal their true nature when i am heavily emotionally invested
>no one to cheat on me
>no one to behave like a child when they dont get their way
>no one to start trivial arguments with me
>no one to threaten me with false legal charges (abuse, rape, etc)
>no one to steal from me
>no one to spend all my money while contributing none of their own and then complain when we dont have any left to go out or on trips
>no one to cause a scene at my family or social gatherings and subsequently embarrassing the hell out of me
>no one to eventually think its a good idea to become violent toward me so that i have to decide between committing murder or disappearing because she knows too much
>no one to pretend to like fucking me and then reveal that the opposite is true several years down the line
gee, i wonder how i could ever enjoy this

>>17944030
He's not wrong about one thing though, which is that being in a relationship isn't the answer to a miserable existence.

>>17944025

That was a really inspirational post Tbh. I wish I could save this. But I'm on my phone and it's too small. Could you screen cap from PC and post so I can save it for the future when I'm feeling down?

>>17936063
I recently acquired gf, but at this moment I'm still hesitating. I really liked being alone. Granted, I live with my parents so after work I arrive at a nice warm home where food is served.

I actually enjoy being alone though, especially when travelling (except in the evening I'm at the hostel bar)


And honestly, women are crazy as fuck. Why do they need to act all emotional, why do they constantly want to see me? Why can't they just be rational, while enjoying the relationship. I

It really feels like if you put 100% into a relationship, there's only a reward of 70%. The remaining 30% just vanishes in nothingness...

>>17944007
You'll understand once you get a girl that you like and she has some baggage and trust issues but likes you too but afraid to be your girlfriend.

>>17936063
>Basically everyday has devolved into work, working out, suffer crippling loneliness at night then repeat
This doesn't really change by getting married. Only once you have a kid you pretty much can't do anything fun or risky.

>>17943642
Divorce is only so common because people these days don't know how to sort out problems anymore. It's always "ME ME ME" with people these days.

>>17944117
And that's where divorces or cheating happens. Hell, sometimes even before that because when you're married.

>>17944130
All marriages can be made to work, really? No. Some just can't be saved, and the only good recourse for both is divorce.

>>17944130
Break ups are the same way, too. So really, FwB and casual sex is the safe way to go.

>>17944144

Some people can't do friends with benefits

>>17944276
Then forever alone you'll be.

>>17944371

I'm not even defending myself here, but if you're saying that anyone who isn't down with FwB is screwed. Then you're full of shit

>>17936354
I'm not into dating or casual sex. According to some people I'm wasting my 20s. Whats the point of being single if your not into that sort of thing?

My biggest fear is being lonely for the rest of my life. Being single isn't an issue for me, as long as I have at least one or two good close friends. But I'm also probably asexual, which is where my fear of loneliness comes. I'm worried that as they're starting to settle down and do the whole marriage and family thing I'll kind of get left behind.

I don't see being singe as a bad thing at all. I can't really see myself being in a relationship any time soon. What is crucial to my happiness are my friends. Like other anons have said the freedom, keeping all your own money, making your own plans and schedule, are all really nice. I've never understood how people just jump from girlfriend to girlfriend. Even when I was younger and dated I needed a significant amount of time single to sort of recharge before I tried seeing anyone else. But then again I've realized that I don't entirely understand sex and romance, and being single is probably just a permanent state for me.

>>17942054
>This post.

Looking back, I feel incompetent at courtship lmao, I was pretty cringy and socially awkward back then, maybe nothing much has changed since I turned into a 27KHV. Maybe 6-8 years ago this post might've rustled my jimmies.

But I don't feel that way anymore, I've lost all desire to seek companionship.
It wasn't a sad conclusion, I found it humbling more than anything. I've since moved to Australia, living a largely quiet life. I own my little houses in acreage blocks of land in Queensland and in Tasmania.

Anyways, I'm going /out/ fishing.
Good thread btw OP.

>>17944608
>I feel incompetent at courtship

That's how I feel (also kv 27), and casual sex is something clearly for people with some level of game/confidence/style and at least had sex once in their life, I wouldn't know where to begin.

>>17944608
>It wasn't a sad conclusion, I found it humbling more than anything.

I know this is 4chan and that a lot of us have becone way older than we are, but don't you think that's a little premature? I mean at 27, you still have at least 2 decades before you croak. 20 years in addition to the the first 27 years of being alone is a bit much.

I'm 27kv myself but I can't really see myself spending the next 20+ years on my own (alive).

>>17944130
Buy a hooker every month

>>17936063
29 here, turn 30 in a few months.

Majority of my 20s were spent in a marriage and then a serious relationship. I ended the serious relationship only a month ago, and finally feel like I'm living my life for me.

I adore the newfound free time. I get to do what I want when I want, and get to be with different women.

It's all perspective. Since I was tied down for nearly a decade, I actually enjoy the alone time I get. If I do crave company, I have women I can hit up or a few good friends.

>>17944958

>and get to be with different women.

Why do this tho?

>>17937495
I like you

>>17944973
Because they're not a pussy and shaking and crying about finding "DA ONE". Live your life, dude. Stop sitting there worrying if you'll ever find a girl. The more you sit and think about it, the less change you're going to find someone. Just go on with your life and she'll show up.

>>17936063
I'm not even single but I feel this because my girlfriend moved two states away a few months ago.

>>17945258
>live life till you meet someone

Trouble with that is, many anons live life in a way that they barely meet anyone, let alone potential companions. I personally just go to work, come home straight home, sleep and repeat.

They've been living life for the past 20-something years and it really hasn't worked.

File: 1442366740996.jpg (129KB, 960x720px) Image search: [Google]

129KB, 960x720px

I find the whole idea of socializing and romantic relationships to be pretty stupid desu, I really have no use for it,

Full time work has fucked me up. It institutionalised me by reducing my free time to the point where I can only cover my basic needs.

In the evenings I don't want to do anything and on the weekends I am playing catch up with chores and other neglected shit. I don't think people are supposed to live this way and I was much happier working part time and having a more inventive and interesting life with time to devote to myself and to others.

I would be very solitary if I didn't have a girlfriend and I'm very glad I got one back before work took over everything.

I too feel kind of fucked up about the fact that I feel anxious when I'm away from work and I feel relieved to get back because at least while I'm working I can pretend that there is something more that I would be doing if only I wasn't at work. When work is taken away from me I'm forced to examine just how far everything else has fallen away.

I don't know what the answer is, but I can see how older people end up socially isolated and lonely because you meet people at school, then at college or whatever you train in, maybe university. After that you've got a few people at work and that is basically it. You might pick up a few friends from a relationship when you combine social groups, especially if it is somebody who isn't from work you get with, but people move, die, start families, devote themselves to a career and generally the trend is less friends available as time passes.

>>17944571
You won't really care about being bothered by loneliness once it becomes your default state.

>>17945945
>You won't really care about being bothered by loneliness once it becomes your default state.

Also the repetitive grind of work and (almost) struggling to pay your bills adds to the numbness.

>>17945776
>I don't know what the answer is, but I can see how older people end up socially isolated and lonely because you meet people at school, then at college or whatever you train in, maybe university. After that you've got a few people at work and that is basically it.

So we're basically stuck?

>>17944873
It isn't good to beat yourself up over it. Some people were dealt bad hand of cards. Social aptitude is something developed over time.
You and I are a little behind the curve (or not on it at all) whether by circumstance or otherwise, but remember. Don't let it define you.


>>17944928
>but don't you think that's a little premature?

I wouldn't think so, no.

It was humbling and liberating to me because I no longer saw myself as a walking disease. Its almost trivial really, since all you and I have done (or lack of) is perform sexual intercourse.

But as many have said in this thread, its more than sex, its about being accepted, being loved in return, having your company appreciated and enjoyed by others. Which is why many wont ever lose their virginity to a whore, its not out of pride. (even though you can hire a gorgeous woman to do it for you) - but I digress.

Why I feel absolved of this burden (loneliness in general) is the same burden we held onto during our formative years, the awkward one, the segregation, the isolation, the hate, the bullying, the ridicule, the dysfunctional family, whatever.

Its because I accept that its how I came to be, I can work to change you circumstance for the "better" sure, but under what context and whose standard? The same people who caused my grief and pain many years ago? what for?

Some go through great leaps and succeed to try and be "normal", others are too wounded emotionally to try and even make friends fearing ridicule, shame and rejection for reaching out.
I've accepted that not everyone gets to have companions, not everyone gets to have friends. But how I make myself happy is up to me.

I've really just moved away from people, I still keep in touch though, I've done a lot in my life, I skydive during the warmer seasons I've had photos put on nature articles online and won some competitions, traveled half the world.
I still feel fulfilled.

>>17945960
Have you tried not caring so much? Life isn't that long, it'll all be over one day.

>>17945258

>Just go on with your life and she'll show up.

That's a meme. For me to meet someone, I'd have to put in a lot of effort.

All I do is wake up, go to the gym, go to work, go home, watch tv, go to bed. It's that every single day of the week. Only difference is when I have a class once a week

Nobody is going to walk into my life in any of those situations

I blame my mother for me turning out to be such a loner who cant keep friends

I spent the first 13 years of my life in the same neighborhood where I knew EVERYONE and had so many amazingly close friends. My best friend was like my brother, thats how much time I spent at his house hanging out with him and his family.

Then she had to move us to fucking Florida, to a neighborhood full of old retired people. I got bullied and couldn't really make real friends like the ones I had before. 26 now and I'm not really all that bitter but I always think about how different life would have been for me if I didnt move.

I look on facebook and see my old friends all grown up taking pictures together and it kills me.

>>17945977
>Have you tried not caring so much? Life isn't that long, it'll all be over one day.

How do you not care? Vidya and tv (and shitposting) can only go so far.

And life is a lot longer when it's unbearable.

>>17946081

I blame my parents (to a degree) for never getting a girlfriend.

When I was little, there was a lot of fighting at home. My parents went through a long divorce from my middle school and high school years. I was really shy and awkward in high school, but even still I had 2 cute girls ask me out. All I did was spaghetti and walk away. I was too embarrassed. I didn't accept because I didn't want to bring them to my broken home. It would be embarrassing to bring a girl into that. And I didn't want to ask my parents for rides. Since I lacked that initial experience that all my other peers developed, I feel lost today at 25. That behavior has stuck. I feel intimidated now because I'm 25, I'm expected to be experienced. But romantically speaking, I'm on par with that of a 15 year old..

>>17936063
This is how I enjoy it

>I wake up alone
>Stay in bed for another 20 minutes looking at my phone
>Go take a shower, brush my teeth, morning stuff
>Feed my cat, and then I smoke a blunt watching TV
>I finish getting ready to go to work
>Then I work my 8 hours
>Go home
>Put on my headset, turn on the Xbox
>Say hello to my internet friends that are bigger losers than I am
>play video games all night until I pass out

Then you just keep repeating. On the weekend, I skip most the morning stuff and just go straight to the blunts and video games.

>>17946210

Post cat pls

>>17946212
no pics.

fat, black and old.

>>17946221

:(

>>17945586
This. I don't really meet new people in my daily life which makes relationships out of the question. Work, shopping for essentials, home and repeat. No opportunity for socializing with new people.

>>17946326

Same here

>>17936250
This X100
I have a friend on the spectrum and he started with this dance class around a year ago. He has lost 100 lb.s (putting him around 260ish), has become more social (at least with the peers he dances with), he now has rythem, and he even goes to dance events/festivals. It doesn't have to be dance, but if you dont want to be alone you gotta find some kind of hobby that is co'ed.

>>17946396

that's hard to do in some cases, I can't really think of many "co-ed" hobbies.

I like playing paintball, yeah sometimes there is girls there, but if there is, they went with some guys they knew.

>>17937495
>subscription to get laid

If you think relationships are purely about sex you shouldn't be in one. People should only be in relationships if they actually love each other, not to fill a title or to get laid regularly. Imagine your best guy friend but if he was a chick, wouldn't you want to put a ring on that? That's how it should be.
The majority of relationships can't be like this and that's where I see a lot of guys and girls that have this idea that relationships are only about steady sex. That's not a relationship it's something more like a corrupt business deal or prostitution.

>>17946424
>Imagine your best guy friend but if he was a chick, wouldn't you want to put a ring on that?

Have you ever been in a relationship? Women are, by nature, not bro-tier, especially after you have been with one for a while. They are all fucking crazy, every one of them.

>>17946843

Really?

>>17946050
>>17945586
Then fucking change your routine. Holy hell, get out of the damn house and stop whining. It's no wonder you fuckers are single.

>>17947330
To what man?

>>17947441
More social shit if you want to meet people. Rearrange your activities or what you do during your days. MAKE time.

>>17946085
Why not make small changes then? It takes months or even years to get good at a social hobby or make a new friend though you can still start something easy like going to the gym twice a week or going to a social hobby (e.g. Meetup group for hiking) once a week. It's up to you to make your life interesting.

>>17942074
man i hope you NEVER get ti claim social security...

>>17936063
I don't know. I share the same fate. I just need to get out of my bubble but no matter what I do. It just won't burst.

>>17936063
Would it be a good idea to meet other anons? Then again /soc/ is just full of jailhouse gays.

Every time I start liking a girl I get all hormonal and make weird decisions that negatively affect my life. Over time I've come to associate romance with anxiety and lack of self control so I avoid it and enjoy the relative clarity of mind. I get lonely sometimes but I have a nice doggo and plenty of good friends.

>nobody enjoys it
Bullshit. The average person will crave direct contact but there are plenty of people who aren't crazy or antisocial that are content alone.

Alone I can do what I please, I only have to cook for one, I have privacy, I have space, I have peace.

Around others I have to keep up self monitoring, stay active in the conversation, keep up pretenses. It's remarkably draining.

It's not really something you learn, though. It's part of who you are. I'm happy alone, but a night at the bar is stressful.

>>17949296
Girls from /soc/ are broken with mental issues.

>>17949352
You mean trans. /soc/ is so full of dudes that the percentage is over 100% if we count the trannies as both men and women.

>>17949517
There are real girls on /soc/, believe it or not. And quite a few too. Of course there are the abominations too but it doesn't take long to see through their lies and deceptions.

Go out and meet real people not people on the internet.

>>17949740
>There are real girls on /soc/, believe it or not.

Of what kind though?

>>17949801
The broken ones with mental issues.

>>17949792

THIS. Make real connections. Do shit. Enjoy yourself.

Mfw I'm op and this thread is still alive

>>17949352
Definitely. I've chatted a few women up from there and I would never date any of them. I remember one talked about how she does poly relationships because she can't have a healthy monogamous one, so she settles for shards of a real one from different people. One person to talk to because they're smart, another one that may be sensitive but dumb for emotional stuff, etc.

Honestly it's been a while since I was so disappointed in someone.

>mfw schizoid
>mfw I don't give a fuck a about people
>have zero empathy
>being alone is heaven
>come only here to insult weak guys who define themselves by stupid shit like that

Step you are game up, you fucking virginias. Top kekkerino

>>17950882

Start a class or join a club. Don't live to go from work to sleep. So stuff.

>>17936063
I'm on the path to wizardry.

>>17946210
why don't you just your vape weed past your mid twenties? it's much healthier and uses a lot less pot.

>>17950865
I'm glad you're with me, anon. It's like all of these sad anons are making excuses to why they're not out enjoying themselves or making excuses before even giving it a try.

>>17951026
What happens when you live in bumfuck town in the middle of nowhere or if you're just a boring person?

>>17946162

Yeah, I'm the same situation. I've acknowledge this as well, but try talking to a therapist. Blaming your parents for your social ineptness doesn't solve the problem..

>>17951264
>if you're just a boring person

Then it's your fault. Work on that.

>you live in bumfuck town in the middle of nowhere

A town is made of people. Or learn to drive, get a car, and move away.

>>17936063
no one in their twenties are in relationships. theyre all hooking up. thats why youre lonely. wait until your late 30s and people will want to come over.

>>17951528
I've got lots of friends that are married, in serious relationships or dating.

>>17951589
So?

>>17951684

I was replying to >>17951528

who said "no one in there 20s are in relationships".

Lots are, lots aren't. It isn't the end of the world either way.

>>17951504

I literally don't feel comfortable talking to a therapist about girls. It's too much of an uncomfortable subject for me.

>>17951528
>wait until your late 30s and people will want to come over.

What kind of advice is that?

>>17952494
Advice about what life is like in your 30s given by a teenager.