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>be me
>be 15
>be kind-of shy
>be foreign
>go to international house for about 6 years
>speak english fluently asf
>time to take a cambridge exam, flyers level
>preparations for it, they combine two different groups into a single one
>the lessons are paid
>be in the "inferior" group, the other one was a higher level
>first time there, sit parallel to this chick
>pretty dank 10/10
>black long hair, generally good looking
>open minded, rebel-ish, articulate and social
>her nickname was Paris, i thought that was her real name for like 6 months
>was 12 at that time, obscenely timid, anti social as fuck
>fall in love after 2-3 weeks
>literally stare at her the entire class
>we were the best in that group
>we take exam
>i get full score, she gets full score
>module ends, summer comes
>during 3 months all i did was stare at facebook photos
>2nd module is here
>enters classroom
>first thing i do is say hi to everyone
>she greets me, tells me that the teacher is british and doesn't know our first language
>she cut her hair to shoulder length
>can't remember shit from the 1 hour and a half i was there
>all of us exit classroom
>we go outside, i wait for my mom
>everyone in this circle, rambling about stuff they did this summer
>i try to stick in a bit
>she pulls out this white looking tube
>white looking tube is a cigar
>stares confused for about 5 seconds
>she starts smoking
>at that time i subconsciously made a opinion of anyone who smoked
>i legit start pinching my arm
>everyone is surprised as fuck
>everyone asks "you smoke?"
>i back away
>i look at the street, almost breaking down
>mom picks me up
>i stay silent the entire ride home
>i look out the passenger window, dropping tears
>get home
>jump in bed
>have a mental breakdown
>i refused to believe that it was true
>next week comes
>she still smokes
>i accept the reality
>this time i really hated everything and was hostile to everyone
>i am hardcore depressed for half a year
>i was still shy as fuck, couldn't dare talk to her
>occasionally she would smile when looking at me
>in the rare cases in which she would talk to me, my response was "yes" to everything
>1st module of new group ends
>module 2, she doesn't come
>she quit
>i almost want to die, but in the same time, i learn to not care
>the "i don't give a single shit" state i induced myself into works
>i don't like any of my school mates from college
>still thinks of Paris on a weekly basis
>goes to this programming event
>meets former secondary school colleague
>i sit down with a bunch of random fuck heads around this table
>pulls out laptop, chats to my ex-colleague
>random girl sits down on the chair next to me
>finds out that the girl is in the same class as my friend
>a few hours pass, i find out she's a gamer
>she's shy as shit
>never knew that i liked shy people so much
>i wasn't as shy because i didn't know i would fall in love with her yet
>nor was i shy in general at that point and time
>8/10 could look better
>she had more or less the same appearance as Paris
>her name was Leia (not really but close enuff)
>Leia had long black colored hair
>after 9 hours of continuous interaction, i find out i fancy her
>2 days pass since the event, texts secondary school buddy
>"yo dude what's her number"
>gives me her number
>me and my buddy talk over text, he convinces me to call her
>calls her
>retarded 50 second long cringy call in which i ask her out
>"yes sure, just after the finals"
>2 weeks pass, she texts me first (did not expect)
>we establish date on sunday
>we go to the mall
>she looked decent
>we talk
>we know eachother's birthdays (desu i forgot hers)
>we go to a movie
>then walk around the mall
>date was cringy because we are both shy as fuck, i could've done better
>date ends, she hugs me
>days pass and i start thinking more about Paris, less about Leia
>i don't like Leia anymore even though my buddy said she likes me
>don't know what to do next, as i didn't text her at all
>not even to say "merry christmas" or even "happy new years, 2017"
>i think she doesn't like me anymore either although I have no fucking idea
>don't know what to do
>my birthday is in 2 days, if she messages me saying "happy birthday", i'll be down for another date
>Paris changed a lot, i can tell from fucking facebook pictures
>partially dyed her hair green
>still looks good tho
>she probably still smokes too
>the lack of communications between me and either of them was insane
>haven't seen Paris for like 6 months
>haven't seen nor talked to Leia for 1 month
>do i back out and stop giving a shit because there's virtually no means of meeting either
>do i countinue trying with either of them
>i like how Paris looks more, even after all the shit she did to herself
>i can't say i like Paris's personality too much
>Leia looks decent, just kind of a big nose
>has best personality ever
>and plus she likes me
>i honestly don't give a shit so whatever you nerds say is better for my pathetic heart
>even if the option is to back out, there are plenty more fish in the sea
no one is going to read all this garbage
holy fuck you are a cringy mentally retarded autist.

>gets depressed because grill smokes

top kek.

advice: you want what you can have you narcistic piece of shit. just fuck leia and get hooked through hormones after a while.

can't have*
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>be you
>have autism
Thread posts: 7
Thread images: 2

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