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Hey /adv/ I'm at the verge of breaking up with my gf, I

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Hey /adv/ I'm at the verge of breaking up with my gf, I want to leave but she has bad depression and hardly any friends. Staying with her is messing me up, but leaving her would most likely fuck her up even more.
what do?
>>
just leave her, she doesn't need to be with someone who doesn't love her and abandons her when she got severe depression
>>
>>17914795
Been with her for the last 4 1/2 years. She has had depression when I first went out with her. Am I meant to wait around until she gets better, then leave? Thanks for the input, but I don't understand why I should be reprimanded by a decision that is mentally affecting me as well
>>
My ex left me at the lowest possible time in my life

Now i hate her for it. even though i am doing better
>>
Build her up a little first.

I know it sounds counter-productive, but I was in a similar situation, where I couldn't bring myself to leave her when she was down.

So, hold her hand, help her across the puddle, and then have that talk with her about the relationship.

Ideally you want to do this before the end of the month, as to not have it be too close a proximity to Valentine's day. If you fall short of that goal, just be cautious of your birthdays.
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>>17914826
I'm sorry about that, I understand that I would be a dick for leaving her. I have just gotten to the stage where no matter how much I help I just can't seem to make her feel better...pretty much at the point where I just feel useless
>>
>>17914864
>Build her up a little first.
Don't do this; you'll make her question every compliment or buttering-up from another guy thereafter. Just rip the band-aid off tactfully and considerately.

Next time don't get into relationships expecting people to improve in health.
>>
>>17914826
>>17914872
My ex was a cheating, lying whore and absolutely broke my heart, but 3 or 4 months later I felt amazing and hadn't been happier in my life. Shit sucks at first but when you're at rock bottom, there's nowhere to go but up.

OP, I would leave her because it's not your job to make her happy. I have depression which used to control me but now I barely notice it because I took charge of my own happiness. She'll either sink or swim but it's not your obligation.
>>
>>17914767

Despite what people would have you believe, you're not obligated to sacrifice yourself for people close to you. If her condition is bringing you down, there's nothing wrong with protecting yourself first. If you're genuinely worried about her mental health, have a chat with someone else close to her first, like family or very close friends and tell them that she needs their support and help. But breaking up is perfectly fine, if you're not equipped to deal with her problems. You're her boyfriend, not her caretaker.
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