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How to get over my girlfriend's past

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Thread replies: 15
Thread images: 3

She got only 1 relationship of 6 month before me, it's not a lot but it bother me a lot
My questions are
1.) How do I deal with this and accept her past so I can concentrate on just us?

2.) Why am I having these feelings/thoughts?
Is it insecurity/immaturity/selfishness/passing judgement
? If so, how wrong of me is? Is there a right or wrong here?

3.) Knowing myself, having a hard time letting go of things (stubbornmess), could this be something that inevitably haunts the relationship for as long as we’re together? Or is it just a speed bump that has come about because I care for her so much?
>>
>>17914629
It's just being a male and territorial. You feel slighted because someone already claimed her and left their mark.
>>
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So /adv/, my gf of 10 months recently broke up with me because she "doesn't feel the same anymore" which is complete bullshit because I did everything right with her (i.e. buy her gifts, chocolate, do whatever she wanted, made her feel happy) and it's not fair.

At first I was really fucking depressed but now I'm really fucking mad so I'm looking at a way of getting revenge.

I'm a 20-something year old guy who is almost finishing my masters in Bio-chem, I want to ruin her life by creating a new virus (something nasty) that can be used as a bioweapon for terrorist activities. I have all the resources needed for this because I work in a BSL3 lab, all I would need is 1-2 years to create it.

I plan on naming this new virus after her name (name is pretty uncommon) so that she'll be stigmatized for life as the girl who shares a name with a virus that killed over 3000 people.

Thoughts?
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>>17914638
Just pay some niggers to molotov her car.
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>>17914629
we should have a general for these people. I mean, every day, same threads

>>17914638
Damnn, she looks like a very nice girl
>>
You need to change the way you see girls and relationships. You idealize both of them. Your girlfriend isn't that pure maiden who will love you and only you forever. No girl is. Relationships aren't these unique bonds between 2 people who will last forever no matter what situations it's put in. You probably think you "know" this, it makes sense right? But many people don't accept it. We've been raised on overly-romanticized entertainment and media where we've been constantly fed idealized characters and stories. So we try to look for our idea of a perfect partner and perfect relationship which, in many cases does not exist. So we become frustrated over petty things, like the fact that your girlfriend had a relationship before. So yeah, stop idealizing women and relationships, learn how to love women for what they are, not for what you wish they were. I know that's not a very straight-forward advice, but it's the best I can give.

>could this be something that inevitably haunts the relationship for as long as we’re together?
Yes, if you keep these ideas you'll grow to resent her for not being what you want her to be.
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>>17914638
why are you such a psycho?
you aren't entitled to be liked by people just because you are nice to them.
at least she didn't cheat on you or made a fuss
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>>17914658
>Your girlfriend isn't that pure maiden who will love you and only you forever. No girl is. Relationships aren't these unique bonds between 2 people who will last forever no matter what situations it's put in.
Lol, you're so certain. Show me the proof there's no cases where the limerence doesn't wear off. I've read anecdotes otherwise.
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>she had 1 six-month relationship before me
Jesus, what, are you 17 or something?
>>
>>17914689
>show me proof of a negative

My point is that relationships aren't unbreakable. Love (except for parental love) is situational, it's the result of experience. So it can just as easily disappear in the "opportune" situation. I'm not saying 2 people cannot love each other until they die, I'm saying that any relationship, any bond can be broken and you shouldn't expect a romantic relationship to be the first and last for you and your partner.
>>
>>17914629
Your jealousy and insecurity aren't "wrong," per se, because they're automatic thoughts. You aren't choosing to feel this way. You can, however, train yourself not to go there using CBT.

Every time you begin to think about your gf's ex, remind yourself that she isn't with him anymore. She's with you. Remind yourself that people, throughout their lives, will have a number of relationships, and this is how we learn and grow emotionally. Remind yourself that your gf is cool with your past relationships (or would be, if you have none). Take a deep breath and repeat as necessary.

>>17914638
>I did everything right
>it's not fair
Dude, you can try to influence her feelings for you, but you do not get to dictate them. Doing nice things does not mean the relationship will last forever, and it does not mean her dissatisfaction with the relationship is "bullshit." No, it isn't fair. Nothing is. Deal with it & grow up.
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>>17914756
Cockball torture?
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>>17914761
Google is a thing, you know
>>
Another person who's in love with the idea of having a perfect anime waifu who will do nothing but be his perfect china doll sperging the fuck out because his perfect china doll is actually a human being who existed before he saw her

I'd be surprised but we get multiples of these every day

Though I'm always a little shocked that these people think they give a fuck about the other person and not just what they mean socially.
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>>17914629
1. Thats on you. Time and exposure will help.

2. Cultural implant. Youve heard too much that "used girls" are dirty so youvr taken it on whether you like it or not. The more you just deal the more itll go away.
3. Speed bump.


It helps to rationalise and belittle your own feelings. Telling yourself how silly it is, getting the perspective that shes a human being with her own life and her own story. Realising she didnt go into that relationship like "hahaha im going to ruin the feelings of this guy ill be dating later" and all around realising youre kind of a dick for being mad at this.

Im not putting you down necessarily. Its just feeling bad about shit is what helps make it change.
Thread posts: 15
Thread images: 3


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