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so my bf didn't get me anything for christmas... he hyped

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so my bf didn't get me anything for christmas...

he hyped it up like he had something special for me, but in the end he "forgot". however he didn't forget to buy for his brother, his brother's wife and his nephew... at least 3 gifts each for them. he told me he would go shopping with me to buy a gift, but i guess he forgot that too...

now he's saying he has something "perfect" for me on my birthday (on the 18th) but i don't think anything will happen... like last year.

see, he was like this all year last year too. he would make a big fuss about our anniversary, x-mas, my birthday, valentines day, etc... then nothing. not even a card.

i got him gifts for all those occasions though, always with a hand-made card filled with text. he would even indiscreetly hint about the things he would like to be gifted.

this is really annoying and it hurts. it's not like i expect anything expensive, he could've given me a thoughtful card or a box of chocolates and i'd be thrilled. if he wasn't going to get me anything, then i'd rather have him tell me straight up instead of building my expectations and then disappointing me. i feel so stupid and used in a way.

how do i even bring this up with my boyfriend? it feels so awkward to talk about.
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>>17914263

your boyfriend isn't considerate. showing his appreciation for you isn't a priority to him and nothing you're going to say is going to make him suddenly start giving a shit about you.

either accept this about him or find a new boyfriend. trying to change him into the boyfriend you wish you had is not in the cards.
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>>17914277
pretty close to dumping him if he doesn't do shit. my past boyfriends were like this too. i even told him about them and yet he pulls the exact same shit! all the while telling me how he would spoil his exes...

gonna see what he does for my birthday but otherwise i think i might have to dump him. i hate that i feel resentment for something like this...
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>>17914277
eh i would disagree to an extent. Sometimes a partner needs a bit of ribbing to change. Change can happen but it would happen slowly and you would have to push them to make an effort. It depends on how dedicated you want to be to him and how much effort he is willing to put in. If your boyfriend has changed a behavior you have discussed before then maybe change is possible. If this never happened OP then change might be something harder for him to do. As far as bringing it up, you want to just tell it like it is but not be too harsh. Maybe something like listen, you always tell me you are going to get me a great gift or take me shopping for Valentines day or my birthday or whatever the occasion might be, and I end up not getting a gift from you while giving you a gift. This affects how I view how much I am worth to you in your eyes. I want to feel like I'm a more important part of your life. Do you think this is something we can work on?
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>>17914263
>wah why won't Chad treat me well
>ugh he is such a jerk OMG

you're a worthless cunt with no self respect
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>>17914327
School shooter ahead
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>>17914298
thanks anon, that sounds like a perfect template. prettyyyyy sure he'll get defensive about it, because it's not like he's a horrible boyfriend. he still does try to treat me to dinner and he's very huggy and tells me i'm "perfect" and says "i love you" every day. he even talks about getting married... but pretty sure he's no where close to getting a ring. and i'm not about to entertain the thought that he's saving up for one.
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>>17914327


>>>/r9k/

back to your containment board you autistic sack of shit
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>>17914331
>>17914334
triggered trash detected
if you don't want to be treated like trash, stop being around people who treat you like trash
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>>17914327
>>17914338
well clearly we don't like you here, so why are you around people who treat you like the r9k trash you are? seriously >>17914334
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>>17914263

If you like him get used to it cause that type doesnt change.
My bf is the same way. Always plays it like he has some plan for occasions and never does. I wouldn't even care about not getting presents/surprises but the hinting and pretending pisses me off.
It's also kinda annoying that all my other friends bfs are taking them places or doing something special for them so i get to hear about it and have nothing to say for my own experiences.
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>>17914338
>>17914355
>this butthurt at the truth
lel
>>
It doesn't sound like your bf cares very much. Show him you're upset, but if it doesn't improve, dump him.
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>>17914327
Dude. Stop talking in memes.

Also, doesn't it get boring just trolling innocent people who are asking for sincere advice?
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>>17914263
He knows if he shows weakness you'll think less of him. Women usually draw first blood.
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>>17914373
What? OP is the one who is feeling vulnerable. Buying presents is not 'weak'. Did you even read it?
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>>17914388
If he starts the lovey dovey bullshit, OP will get bored and begin to fuck around with other guys. Besides, the two aren't married yet so his family comes first.
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>>17914397
Presents for birthdays are not lovey dovy. My god, have you ever had a girlfriend?
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>>17914397
Actually, completely ignoring her and not doing anything for her (like birthday or christmas presents) will make her fuck around, because it's clear he doesn't give a fuck about her.
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>>17914397

Right, because staying home doing nothing while everyone else celebrates an occasion is loads more entertaining.
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>>17914401
>>17914404
Has OP even asked why he pulls this shit? Sounds like they have communication problems.
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>>17914406
OP needs to woman up and talk to him. It's simple.
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>>17914263
This sounds abusive.
He hypes you up to make you feel wanted and needed only to let you feel tricked and worthless in the end. He has no problem buying gifts for other people, he doesn't forget them which makes this seem intentional.
He's trying to make you feel worthless so you feel less of a person and so your self esteem goes down far enough to second guess yourself. This is a control tactic, because you can only control people with low self esteem.
I wouldn't think he was doing this on purpose if he never bought anyone else gifts. I have one question though that can negate what I've said already; does he still celebrate your anniversary and holidays with you or does he just act like it's any other day?
If he celebrates and cherishes you on those days I think he might just not know that you want gifts along with a celebration. If this is the case tell him that exchanging gifts is important to you and say that you're hurt from him never returning the favor.
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>>17914626
>thinking trash will listen to advice

the key fact in all chronic abuse cases is that the victim craves the abuse, and will in fact defend her abuser from others and the law

if she really cared about her situation she would leave him, not beg for attention online
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>>17914263
Did he have sex with you.
My gift to my gf is special sex, every year lol
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>>17914295
>pretty close to dumping him
Dump him now, what the hell? You're the biggest pushover. I wouldn't have guessed problems like this were allowed to exist. Grow a backbone.
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>>17914632
If you're not here to give advice get out. This isn't a board for criticizing unless asked.
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Dump him - unless he is chad thundercock then it's not worth being treated like shit for.

The fact he said he had got you something special but clearly hadn't bothered is a clear red flag. Then following this up with a promise of taking you out to buy you a gift and failing is another. It doesn't seem like he's that bothered about you.

How long have you been together and how old are you both?
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>>17914295
dump

dump

dump

dump

what more signals can you want ? feed you shit about xmas and then you stick around ?

please
Thread posts: 29
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