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How do you accept that reality will never be as good as fiction

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How do you accept that reality will never be as good as fiction without turning bitter as a result?
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u dont
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>>17914144
let me know if u figure it out
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>>17914154
Then how do I get bitter without hurting myself?

It stings so bad.
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>>17914241
u hurt others
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>>17914257
I've already decided to cut off the only man I've had in my life, but that will inconvenience me more than it does him.
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>>17914288
there are billions of people out there. im sure you will find someone
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>>17914300
I don't want to go out of my way to hurt anyone. Accepting that dying alone is inevitable feels bad enough as it is.
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>>17914302
then go for being happy together instead of hurting? sounds like might be cure to your problems
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>>17914144
If you dont like your current reality, turn over the table. Quit your job, tell your family to fuck off and go do something else.
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>>17914307
It's not an option.

I'm not a giver like most women are, and I'm no lesbian either. I can't give enough to a man that he'd care to stay or could not do without.

>>17914309
It's not work that eats me, save for forcing me into the real world for eight whole hours at a time. It's people, the way real people are, and the loneliness.

People are people everywhere, it won't change just if I run off to China or Australia in hopes that the real world won't be there.
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>>17914144
You either do or don't. There's already a feeling for this, it's called Weltschmerz. Do this: Think about something you haven't done, but wanted to do. Now go do it.

>>17914316
What's wrong with people exactly?
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>>17914345
Men take, women give. I'm not one much for giving, the thought of letting someone eat me alive and devour my life completely sounds exhausting, and worse than the loneliness is.

But the loneliness still stings, and friends don't completely wipe it away.
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>>17914348
We're all givers and takers, man. Every single one of us. That said, I'm not telling you to find somebody.

How old are you?
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You're being very melodramatic.

Yes, the world sucks and people suck. You're hardly unusual for noticing that.

Read some philosophy. It's written so people can try to understand the world.
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>>17914348
>Men take, women give.
Everyone does both, to some degree.

What have you been looking at to think this way about male and female relationships?

It's not like that in the 'real world' you keep talking about. People are just people. Some are assholes, some cheat, some use their partners, some are mean. Some take, some give. None of this is a gendered trait.
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>>17914356
I don't recall a man giving me a single thing he didn't expext something more in return.

22. Why?
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>>17914375
What was the point of your post? All you did was take a snipe at OP and then recommend reading philosophy without actually specifying which to read.

>>17914383
Your anecdote doesn't mean anything, unfortunately. Watch this: I've done nothing but give to my ex girlfriends while they took and took and took.

I was just curious about your age. Once again, I'm not telling you to find somebody. I'm telling you to think about something you've wanted to do, and just doing it.
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>How do you accept that reality will never be as good as fiction
You're posting a map from fucking Game of Thrones of all things. A book series where rape and murder are as common as breath itself. Where a peasant is happy if he just dies a boring life at the ripe age of 40 and doesn't have too many diseases.

The fact is you'd never be a Stark, that life would be even worse for you if you existed in that fictitious world. You'd just get your chicken stolen by some burn victim. Reality is a lot fucking better than 99% of fantasy fiction.
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>>17914385
Well, I don't know what OP has read, and I don't want to perpetuate the /lit/ meme of 'start with the Greeks'.

Honestly OP, maybe try the existentialists like Sartre.
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>>17914380
>What have you been looking at to think this way about male and female relationships?

Every heterosexual relationship I've witnessed. Women take men for pets, because they're fun for companionship, and offer food and shelter for return.

I was about 11 when my mother realised that she can't provide for both dad and their children at the same time. It took her three years to get dad out of the house, and he lasted three years on his own before he died.

The only male friend I've had mostly used me to bum cigarettes, car rides and emotional support whenever the pretty girls he dated would stop supplying him with something or the other. He's 23, neck deep in debt and about to lose his job.

He'll be in for a nasty surprise when his mother dies, unless he'll come to his senses to treat a girl properly for long enough to get her to marry him. If he hasn't pinned himself a wife and kids by 32, I don't think he'll live to see 40.

>>17914385
I don't think there really is anything I've wanted to do, save for being loved in an equal and mutual relationship.

What kind of things are people supposed to want to do?

>>17914390
Well, unlike the real world, Westeros appears to have at least like 3 men who are more than parasites leeching off the women in their lives, and I'm not done reading these before the other two have died as well.

>>17914393
I appreciate your effort but you are doing no worthwhile contribution to the conversation.
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>>17914466
I'm not sure you can write off >>17914393 without actually reading Sartre.

>I don't think there really is anything I've wanted to do, save for being loved in an equal and mutual relationship.

If that's all you want, get comfortable. Get comfortable and make an OKC. Focus on your hobbies and check out the men that interest you on OKC.

>What kind of things are people supposed to want to do?

Go hiking. Go driving really far. See the Queen Mary. See the grand canyon. Play a new video game. Draw something. There's lots of shit you can do.
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>>17914466
>I appreciate your effort but you are doing no worthwhile contribution to the conversation.
Why? Because you don't want to turn to people who have already thought about this kind of thing for help?

Yeesh, okay. Back to my theory of 'you're an attention seeker'.
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>>17914472
I've done a lot more than that.

And what use would OkCupid be to me? If I wanted an useless burden in my life, I'll get a cat. They won't eat your whole feeding hand and then call you cruel when they chocke on a bone.
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>>17914478
if these philosophers of yours actually had anything worthwhile to say, you could just cut out the middle man and tell it to me straight.
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>>17914479
>I've done a lot more than that

You've read Sartre? Nah just playing I know you haven't.

Then think of something else you've wanted to do and do it.

>And what use would OkCupid be to me?

Finding someone, which you evidently so desperately crave.

> If I wanted an useless burden in my life, I'll get a cat. They won't eat your whole feeding hand and then call you cruel when they chocke on a bone.

See, at this point it doesn't actually sound like you want advice. It sounds like you've got issues that I can't fix over the internet. Hire a therapist, or focus on a creative hobby.
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>>17914480
It's about the process of discovery though, combining the ideas of one person with another. Me explaining it to you means you won't get as much out of it as actually reading it.

Basically you're just attention seeking and lazy. Maybe you don't have a partner because you're boring, have a trite 'I think the world sucks, aren't I special' complex, lazy, and don't seem to have any positive traits and don't even like and make generalisations about the entire gender you're attracted to.
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>>17914466
>Westeros appears to have at least like 3 men who are more than parasites leeching off the women in their lives
Yeah you got me there are maybe two men tops in this world that lead independent lives.

Durrrrr
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>>17914483
I haven't read Sartre, but I'll add it to the list of shit I need to look up once I get my car back and can get to the library.

What kind of advice were you going to offer? If I wanted to be a vegan, and you started fighting me about how to best cook roast beef, I'd be just as welcoming to your advice.

>>17914487
I don't have a partner because I won't give more than I have to offer. I've turned plenty of men down purely because I haven't had the emotional and financial means to carter to them.

And again, you're trying to advice me on something *you* think I need advice on, not the thing I came here for. Who's stupid and lazy here, really?

>>17914492
Be butthurt somewhere else.
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>>17914516
So what do you need advice on then? The fact that real life isn't as good as fiction? I gave you advice on that. Read some existentialism.

It's funny, most men seem to complain because of how women don't pull their weight, but you're complaining of the opposite.
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>>17914516
>Be butthurt somewhere else.
You're the one that thinks rapeville is better than reality, that men can only leech off of women. Think about it, is the entire world deluded or are you just reaching some fucking stupid conclusions because you're depressed?
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>>17914527
I keep finding that men who complain about women not pulling their weight tend to be either talking about women who want nothing to do with them, or they complain about a woman not doing *all* of the emotional labour in the relationship.

The only time a man puts in effort is while trying to GET the woman, and the horrible wail they make when she finally gets sick of being taken for granted.

>>17914530
On average fictional men tend to be more tolerable company.
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>>17914556
>On average fictional men tend to be more tolerable company.
Which is basically the same as the neckbeards that argue 2D>3DPD. Now we just have to figure out if it's the neckbeards or the legbeards that are right.
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>>17914516
>I haven't read Sartre, but I'll add it to the list of shit I need to look up once I get my car back and can get to the library.

Sounds like a plan.

>What kind of advice were you going to offer?

What the hell? Are you daft? You asked "how do you accept that reality will never be as good as fiction without turning bitter as a result?"

I told you "you either do or don't[...]Think about something you haven't done, but wanted to do. Now go do it."

You asked what should you do, I gave you a list. Then you replied "I've done a lot more than that." So you don't seem to be open to new ideas because I KNOW for certain you haven't done everything. You tell me you crave an equal relationship: "I don't think there really is anything I've wanted to do, save for being loved in an equal and mutual relationship," but are clearly unwilling to make any step towards that. That's fine. Then do other things. There's no magical solution to the existential dread you face. You do shit that fires up your endorphins, seratonin, dopamine etc. and you forget about the existential dread for a few fleeting moments. I'm sorry you had to find out this way.
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>>17914559
I believe it's both. Men expect someone who'll nurse and carter to them for nothing in return, as they're naturally prone to want. Women expect an equal effort in return to what they put in, as they're naturally prone to want.

The same way a man can't get off without penetration and most women can't get off from being penetrated.

Men and women are not and have never actually been compatible. Drowning in fiction and fantasy is better than real life and whoever disagrees is just a bit slow on putting two and two together.
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>>17914569
Have you ever entertained the notion that you're just not that very pleasant to associate with?
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>>17914561
Okay, THANK YOU for actually finally putting your input in words. I'm sorry I had to forcibly pry that out of you, but I appreciate your input now that you've managed to actually use words to say it, and act like a great martyr for it.

Good boy.
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>>17914573
Like I said, I'm not much of a giver. I won't carry the entire weight of a relationship for someone just to spoonfeed the good parts to him.
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>>17914574
I'm so very confused. You're telling me you had difficulty understanding these:

"You either do or don't[...] Do this: Think about something you haven't done, but wanted to do. Now go do it."

"I'm not telling you to find somebody. I'm telling you to think about something you've wanted to do, and just doing it."

"Go hiking. Go driving really far. See the Queen Mary. See the grand canyon. Play a new video game. Draw something. There's lots of shit you can do."

Are you sure you aren't the problem?
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>>17914578
>Are you sure you aren't the problem?
She's just not much of a giver anon, god!
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>>17914578
You had to jumble it all up in nonsense and philosophers. I understand that you think it's best to simply not think about it and go chase butterflies. You didn't have to get so fucking smug about it.

>>17914581
I don't yield and play small for people who give nothing in return. Hold that against me if you will, I have no use for your approval and you can't hurt me for it.
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>>17914584
>You had to jumble it all up in nonsense

You must be having a shitty night or day, none of what I said was jumbled in nonsense. I laid 'em out right there. Do what you will with them.

>I understand that you think it's best to simply not think about it and go chase butterflies

It's all we can do, fortunately or unfortunately.

>You didn't have to get so fucking smug about it.

I don't think I was being smug until the last post where I asked if you were daft, but if I came off as such I'm sorry. Good luck to you in your life.
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>>17914592
You, too.

It's been a long day and the start of a shit year and I'm tired.
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>>17914574
girl stop bein a fuckin whore hes tryin to help

you are the problem

guys, get out. you all explained well enough
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>>17914602
I know the odds are against me, but I can't magically make myself any other way.
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>>17914466
Woe is me! Or bait.

You take your experiences and extrapolate them to the real world. Which is pretty stupid if you ask me. You're the kind of person who lives on the beach and assume the whole world is made out of sand.
Also statistics tend to disagree. For instance
>Women take men for pets, because they're fun for companionship, and offer food and shelter for return.
You know how feminists bitch that men earn much more than women? Well they do and this means that, overall, men are the ones who are able to offer shelter and food for companionship. Hell, ever heard of mail brides? Ever heard of fucking escorts? Get out of your bubble, if anything the issue is reversed. But that shouldn't dictate your subjecting world. There are shitty men and shitty women out there. But thinking an entire gender is shitty because of some bad personal experiences makes you petty and weak and will only hurt you.

And regarding the fantasy thing. You know how people say you shouldn't base your happiness on comparisons of your situation with someone elses situation? Well basing it on a comparison with a fictional character or situation is even more ridiculous. You're creating an idea of perfection in your head and complain that your life can't reach that perfection. Everyone realizes that fantasy > reality at some point. Usually it's when you're a child and you eventually grow out of it, accept it and learn how to treat fantasy and reality differently. You can enjoy fantasy without trying to make it real.

My only advice for you is to grow the fuck up. I wish I could find something witty or deep to say, but there's nothing witty or deep about this issue. I'd tell you to read "Happiness"by Matthieu Ricard, but until you change that mentality of yours it won't do you any good. No advice will.
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>>17914606
you just need to unwhore yourself

cut the dick off the guy who took your virginity and feed it to a bullfrog under full moon
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>>17914144
>pic unrelated

>reality will never be as good as fiction
Your reality is the boring part of a more interesting reality then.
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>>17914608
Okay.

Then how do you grow up without turning bitter?
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>>17914674
By focusing on the good things. By staying positive while understanding why bad things happen. There isn't a how-to guide on how to not turn into a bitter asshole, because it's different for every situation. For instance, when it comes to people what you must understand is that all of us have the possibility to be good or bad and it's the experiences we go through that shape us. People who hurt others usually do so because they themselves suffered, now or in the past. If left unchecked suffering will turn into bitterness which in turn will make you harm others and yourself. To deal with suffering you must accept it, but you should never let it control your thoughts and actions. Be sad, grief, but don't fall into anger or hatred, because these feelings create a spiral of self-destruction. When something bad happens think of how to fix it, how to make it better not why it happened, who's to blame and how much of an asshole that person is. Don't think of what should be, think of what can be and work towards achieving that.

At the end of the day we all want to be safe and happy to be loved, accepted and appreciated. And when something is infringing these things we become bitter, angry and lash out in revenge or frustration to make other people bitter and angry. Everyone becomes a part of this spiral at one point or another and it's our job to recognize it and pull ourselves from it, otherwise we will bring only misery to ourselves and the people around us.
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>>17914144
>reality will never be as good as fiction
It will. Trust me.
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>>17914674
It seems you take yourself and life too seriously missy and you've got some pent up anger inside of you because things aren't as you want them to be or expect.
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>>17914869
yea trust this anonymous person on internet

>>17914900
thats what happens when you read too much teen wolf
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>>17914466
>Well, unlike the real world, Westeros appears to have at least like 3 men who are more than parasites leeching off the women in their lives, and I'm not done reading these before the other two have died as well.

You already sound bitter. I hope the best for you but it will be a hard road deconstructing your prejudice.

I'd say that reality is as good as fiction (if not better) but you haven't read enough history. Of course 99% of history has been made by men so that might be a roadblock for you.
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>>17914144
Are you saying that men are dependent on women emotionally or in every way? From what I've experienced the guy is the one who at least financially supports the relationship, and I realize a lot of men are emotionally retarded, but so are a lot of women.

Whenever ive tried to have a legitimate talk about feelings with a partner as a guy I've gotten bullshit answers and then lead to a breakup since you don't even want us to open up emotionally
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