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How To Make Friends?

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I feel like an idiot for asking this. How does one make true friends? I have a few close friends that I don't see much for various reasons (most moved) and I don't know where to start again.

I have plenty of people I talk to with common interests around but they aren't people I share an emotional bond with.

How do I find people to actually you know..care about? It seems so much more complex than it did when I was younger.
Don't feel like an idiot for asking this type of things: we all want to have true relationships with people that we can grow fond with.

When one is a child it's easier to make connexions because you could like the same tv show and inmidiatly become friends, but when you get older you are more picky in choosing the peolpe you want to be around for different reasons: if you like or not their political views, their thoughts on abortion, education, taste in games, etc.

I recommend you the book "how to win friends and influence people". It can help you to better your communication with others. Another concept that helps this topic is the being more vulnerable with people so you can deepen your connexions with them. Check out Mark Manson article about this topic: https://markmanson.net/vulnerability

Hope you the best
thank you, I've been meaning to read that book but wasn't sure if it was as good as i'd heard. Your advice is extremely helpful, thanks for being so understanding.
No problem, Anon. I wish you the best

this was written for an anon wondering how to meet women, but htis works WAYYYY better for meeting friends desu.

effort. lots and lots of effort. and also, doing what you like. going out is in no way restricted to bars and clubs, though if that is what you enjoy, by all means, go to bars and clubs.

the truest way to find chemistry is to experience your life in the most enjoyable way, and see how you match with the people who come into it. interacting with someone in a casual way shows you how you ACTUALLY get along, not how you hope to get along cuz you really want this to work cuz you need a gf.

so write down a list of all your hobbies, and find a way to externalize them. most people live at least near a city these days.

go to any and all hobby shops and ask about local events. gun shops might have hunting trips. or you can just go to a shooting range. comic book stores have game nights. or live commentary movie nights. if these shops do not host events, offer to host one through them, after all it will only lead to more money through them.

you can even go to a more casual store, lets say, a book store, and stand in your favorite aisle (lets say, horror). talk to everyone who comes by looking for a book. ask what book they are looking for. tell them what book you are looking at. try to spark a conversation abotu your favorite author. maybe take some suggestions. if you really hit it off, try to trade numbers.

its okay if it doesnt pan out. this isnt a scoring system. there is no man in a cloack in space making down on a cosmic chalkboard how many failed conversations you had. 99% of interaction is dumb. you are waiting for the 1% and enjoying talking about your favorite things with strangers until then.

>but anon, going outside somewhere to find out if maybe they have an event doesnt suit my lazy lifestyle!!1!

and for those who simply cannot bring themselves to get up out of the house without a guarantee go to meetup.com and look for something of your interest. no matter what your interest it is on there in a group you can meet with. and if not, you can start your own meet up.

Now, some of you may argue that these sorts of tailored events are attended mostly by men. yes. mostly. but some women too. whats important here is you will be doing something you love, with people who love what you love, and when the right ladies come along you'll know they love it too. you will have that common ground.
thanks anon, this is good advice.

glad i could help, just remember the part about effort. people get mad when i suggest meetup.com for instance because they check the pages, there arent many, and the people there aren't always attractive. so they just assume they wont get along and it wont work.

very shallow, very short sighted. you have to play to win. good luck
People are boring.
You are happy the way you are.
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