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Mixed Signals

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Thread replies: 22
Thread images: 4

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This guy who I have been talking to has been giving me a lot of mixed signals. He always offers me rides home from work and he heard I was spending Christmas alone so he gave me his phone number. He told me we should hang out sometimes because I have no friends in this city.

After that he would text me every day. He was always the first to text. I have only texted him first twice.
One night I asked him if he wanted to hang out with me. He said yeah but then told me he was sick and stopped replying.

I gave up after that. I felt like he didn't care.
The next few nights he went drinking with our manager, I get a text from him and it's another coworker (who I have never spoken to before) telling me that the guy I like is inviting me. Then the guy I like asked me to hang out with him but it went no where.
I asked him if he was free tomorrow but I didn't get a reply. I'm so confused and I don't like being strung along. I'm about to give up

I'll post a screenshot of the text below. But what do you guys think?
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This was when he got his phone back from our coworker (1/3)
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(2/3)
Also I'm bad at flirting please don't bully me. It's been 4 years since I flirted with anyone.
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>>17908924
>After that he would text me every day


>One night I asked him if he wanted to hang out with me. He said yeah but then told me he was sick and stopped replying.
>I gave up after that. I felt like he didn't care

so, the guy keeps contact for a while, you invite to hangout, he declines because he is sick and you just give up?

You should re-think the situation starting from that point....
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(3/3)
This is when he didn't reply.
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>>17908939
Considering the fact that people kept telling me it's an excuse I didn't wanna be pushy and just wanted him to ask to hang out with me first.
>>
>>17908924

Let me put in another way (I am the anon from this reply: >>17908939)

It is not really he who is giving mixed signals, it was you in first place. He is now just playing it safe. He is likely as unsure about the situation as you are.
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>>17908944
if it happened one single time, it likely wasn't just an excuse, unless these "people" you mention might have information regarding the fact, for example, that he wasn't actually sick.
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These conversations are real? I feel retarded or something for not being this.. simple.
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>>17908963
Sometimes he sends really short replies and I have no idea what to do or say. I don't talk to many people
>>17908950
I'm playing it safe too, but I'm just slightly scared of taking his kindness too far? Idk

>>17908956
They were just my friends who were like "damn, that means no. Sorry" so I just decided to lay off a bit.
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>>17908970
>They were just my friends who were like "damn, that means no. Sorry" so I just decided to lay off a bit.

Your friends are either too young or too shitty or too snobish.

They could have made a point, though, that given it was the guy that declined the invite he "should" have invited back when he was feeling ok, but not everybody follows these "rules", so you can't just assume, he might be as insecure as you seem to be.


>I'm playing it safe too, but I'm just slightly scared of taking his kindness too far? Idk


Why are you playing it safe? Do you have anything to lose?
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>>17909013
He does seem quite nervous
I played it safe mainly because I'm scared he is just being nice. I don't wanna look like a goof.

But considering the fact that his friend was texting me while they were drunk means they were talking about me. And he was probably encouraged to ask me to hang out with him.
I just wish I knew why he didn't respond to me trying to make plans.
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>>17909029
>I'm scared he is just being nice. I don't wanna look like a goof.

What is the problem with that, everybody makes mistakes about other's intention all the time

is that really the real reason?


Maybe the problem is not that you will find out you misunderstood him, but that he actually doesn't like you as you thought?

>I just wish I knew why he didn't respond to me trying to make plans.

Like I said, he might be as much confused and insecure as you are, also afraid of making a move and getting a "no", also thinking that you are just being nice and friendly but not actually interested in him

Are you actually interested in him, btw?
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>>17909045
Yeah, of course. I think he's really cute and fun to talk to. We also have a lot in common.
Should I just come off stronger with flirting?
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>>17909051
>Should I just come off stronger with flirting?

Yes you should, but you should first of all be prepared for a "no, you misunderstood me"

Once you are, you can go all in with the flirting
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>>17908924
Sounds like you need to text him first more.

Sounds like he really was sick and wasn't up to do anything.

Another coworker used your crushes phone to text you that your crush is inviting me?

>>17908929
You asked him when and he said you tell me instead. You reply without actually letting him know. Then finally ask when he is free. He says New Year's Day. You say yeah blah blah could be good timing blah blah. But don't plan anything at all when he specifically told you to make the plans.
>>17908940
Your replies are one sided. You expect him to keep nagging you but he didn't feel the need to say anything cause of what you typed. Not a big deal whatsoever. Also he may have passed out.
Then you go on asking him if he is free sat night. He says possibly. Then you ask him the same question again? Why would he need to reply with the same answer yet again?
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>>17909051
Stop being the chick that goes "ummm u decide" even after he specifically asks you to make the plans. It makes you sound unsure and distant. He clearly wanted to hang out. And you clearly did too. But now he sees you as not interested. He sees you as putting him on trial as to whether or not you really do wanna be around him to begin with.
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>>17909070
>>17909073

These 2 anons have very good points.
I didn't take the screenshots seriously because I had no idea who was who in the exchange... (hate iPhones, have no idea how is the interface)
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>>17908970
desu you may have represented your own pessimistic view of what happened and your friends just took that and spat it back to you

it's a very common thing

if you say it to them like 'he SAID he wanted to hang out and now he's """""sick""""" then yeah your friends are gonna tell you 'that means no'

of course it's also that WE are only getting the story how you represent it to us so who knows

it's best to ask advice for people who are actually involved and have seen you not strangers on the internet or friends who didn't see shit
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>>17909076
OP's text are in grey bubbles
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guys don't strong ppl along generally
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>>17908924
>But what do you guys think?

stay away from dating co-workers

just leads to trouble
Thread posts: 22
Thread images: 4


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