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I just wrote walls of fucking text about this but realized there

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I just wrote walls of fucking text about this but realized there was probably too much detail so I'm compressing that shit into a greentext

>first semester in college
>see really cute girl in class
>don't say anything until the end of the semester because I'm an idiot with social anxiety issues
>basically say "Fuck it" and walk up to her and the end of class
>point out that I notice she hand writes all of her notes [note: most people just look at the slides in this class on their macbooks] and ask if she wants to study the next day
>immediate "Sure!", she adds her contact info into my phone
>can't get stupid smile off of my face for 30 minutes after that, I know it's trivial for others but I'd never done that before and it was a big hurdle of my own to get over (plus, I really like her so that only added to it.)
>my friends are nosy bastards and find her tumblr
here's where it gets good, /adv/
>she identifies as a trans-boy, asexual panromantic, and is in a relationship with a trans-girl
>FUCK
>other friends point out that she does [using "they/them" from now on, btw] appear very androgynous (and that's always been what I've been attracted to so that didn't help)
>man this does not help my anxiety problems
>whatever, it's already planned so I'll just see how it goes tomorrow

cont.
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>fast forward to tomorrow
>we meet up in one of the libraries on campus, it's cold as fuck and they're late (they apologize but I don't mind)
>it's awkward for about the first 20 minutes but both of us seem to be getting more comfortable as we talk more
>wrap up studying, I suggest getting coffee (there's a starbucks right there)
>they agree, we start talking more and more while waiting in line (as opposed to my usual completely silent self)
>I notice they have a hatoful boyfriend backpack and point that out
>their face lights up, apparently nobody has pointed it out before?
>our coffee gets there, and I'm looking at the cups to figure out which is which and they accidentally take a sip out of mine
>I think it's really cute but I'm not going to say that, brush it off
>I assume we're departing at that point but as we leave we just sort of naturally walk the same direction and just talk for ~10 minutes straight
>it felt like forever, as though we were in a bubble and nobody else mattered (come to find out later they're ENFP and I'm INFJ so that may explain why conversation flowed so easily)
>part ways
>damn it, this didn't help me liking them at all
>it made it worse
welp
>text them 2 days later saying I had fun and would like to hang out again
>get a text back saying they had fun too with a smiley face
>aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
>>
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this is getting long so I'll wrap it up
>hang out again a few days later to go over the final study guide
>they mention they take the bus and would probably be a bit late
>it takes a second for me to process that this may be a hint
>ask if they want me to pick them up
>"that'd be nice lol"
>well I guess that was the right thing to do
>pick them up, hang out for a little more than an hour, I had somewhere to be after so it ended up being perfect timing
>we just talk and talk for most of the time and only study for ~15 min. at most
>semester ends after exam
>just send meme snapchats for a few days
>both of us are on break, they just got back in town from being with family and I'm still out of town until sunday
>there's a week of free time before next semester starts

>keep in mind they haven't brought up their gender identity OR relationship status, so they probably just see me as a friend
>at the very least I've made a friend I suppose but still, aaaaaaaaaaaaa

basically, /adv/, I really like this person but am understandably confused the fuck out of my mind, so what do you all suggest I do?
>>
What's the problem anon?

It sounds like you made a new friend. They might have personal issues, but if you learn to accept them for who they are they'll learn to accept you for your "social anxiety issues".

They might introduce you to some new activities and new people. Don't let your negativity drown out what could be something positive. I had a gay friend in uni who was admittedly sort of strange, but he was really passionate about his major, was interesting to talk to, and always helped me score some drugs when I wanted.
>>
>>17906619
I think the problem is that OP likes this person

OP, ur fuked lol.
>>
>>17906622
Well, that's silly.

Even if MBTI isn't all that much of a scientific model, ENFP is still one of the more common types for females, and since OP is in uni, should stop being so worried about one chick who it's definitely not going to work with.
>>
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>>17906619
>>17906637
This was more of a venting mechanism for me anyway, so thanks for the response.

I'm stepping away from my PC for a bit so I'll still read the thread, just not immediately.
>>
this is uncomfortably similar to a situation I was in 2 years ago, OP

just build a natural friendship and see where that goes, don't rush things OR give up too easily or you'll lose her and part of yourself (saying this from experience)

good luck, man
>>
>mentally ill

STAY THE FUCK AWAY, seriously dont fuck with that
>>
>>17906611
Like the others have said, it sounds like you've made a new friend and it's totally normal and fine to be smitten with them. Enjoy your time with them as a friend and if things progress further, be more up front then. I struggle with anxiety as well, amongst other things, and find that taking each day at a time is helpful. Instead of thinking ahead just be present in each moment when you hang out with this person.
>>17906745
This isn't advice, this is heavily opinionated paranoia...borderline phobia
>>
>>17906606
From what I've read the girl you like is a biological girl right? I bet she is. Thing is don't support her friends. You're just encouraging their mental illness and when they do the transition they'll kill themselves because they will never be a true girl or a true boy anymore or vice versa. Trannies should be treated with psychologists not surgury. Make them understand that and you might save their life's if that's not too late.
>>
>>17906619
Gay≠Mentally ill anon.
>>
>>17907039
It's not a phobia. It's about lying to people promising they they can be someone else while they can't. Not to talk about the huge suicide rates among trannies and that the whole process is unethical. They do that shit with 9yo kids. Nobody knows what they are when they're 9 for gods sake. Psychological treatment is the best at least they'll be a functional man/woman. Besides most people like OP's little girlfriend are assexual ayy lmao gender because they want to be special snowflakes. Stay away from those people OP. I know what I'm talking about. If you love her you're gonna make the same mistake I did, but you can do better. "Redpill" her as /pol/ would say. Stop her from committing suicide in the next few years. It's all up to you OP. Bonne Chanse.
>>
>>17907107
Anon here isn't responsible for his new friend's choices or feelings. Anon is only responsibility for own feelings and thoughts.
>>
That's such a cute story. It's great that you managed to challenge your anxiety and made a friend in the process. Well done.

Having said that, though, I would agree that you shouldn't expect too much from this if she's already in a relationship. Just focus on having a good time and enjoying her company.
>>
>>17907232
i just read all of that shit and i have a hunch that there may be a reason OP hasn't been told anything about the trans/gf things, maybe she's approaching it in a careful manner like OP? i know if i was in a relationship and some guy asked me to study, and then hang out again, and picked me up in his car (regardless of the pretense of studying) i would make clear i was in a relationship, which apparently hasn't happened. doubly so if i was trans. maybe there's more going on with OP's friend than it seems?

OP, learn more, hang out more.
>>
>>17907214
>implying you can't strong arm people into believing what you believe
>>
>>17907627
That's called manipulation which will inevitably lead to resentment.
>>
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>>17907267
OP here, so I guess me getting all of that out was a good thing as today they posted a photo w/ their gf, and I'm assuming they're abroad on a trip and not back in town as I thought.

I can't say I'm not sad, in fact I'm tearing up a bit right now but that's both out of my control and besides the point. I've made a friend and taken a step towards being able to talk to people I like with less hesitation. Now to just deal with what I'm feeling right now, which is quite a bit of self-imposed hurt, through some sleep.

I really wish I wasn't as emotional as I am and didn't feel the way I do, but I guess this is just something else to deal with. I'll get over it at some point, but I just wish I didn't like them so fucking much. Just a big, heavy welt of emotions in my chest at the moment.
>>
>>17907779
Better than suicide.
>>
>>17907908
>cucked by a trans faggot
>>
i'm going to finish your story for you anon

>I really like you anon, but I just don't see you that way. Let's be friends!

honestly are you trying to have a romantic relationship or send fucking memes 24/7
>>
>>17908571
well put
>>
>>17908582
we need to fix OP

i don't know if he's still asleep but we have to stop >>17908571
>>
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>>17906606
>[using "they/them" from now on, btw]
gg game over saged delet this well played 1/10
>>
>>17907908
Is her tranny gf cute? If so, feed them both your dick.
>>
>>17906607
>she
>they
S
Call her whatever you have to in front of her but she's a "she", stick to the correct pronoun, this isn't ribbit or dumblr
>>
>>17907107

>It's not a phobia. It's about lying to people promising they they can be someone else while they can't. Not to talk about the huge suicide rates among trannies and that the whole process is unethical. They do that shit with 9yo kids. Nobody knows what they are when they're 9 for gods sake. Psychological treatment is the best at least they'll be a functional man/woman. Besides most people like OP's little girlfriend are assexual ayy lmao gender because they want to be special snowflakes. Stay away from those people OP. I know what I'm talking about. If you love her you're gonna make the same mistake I did, but you can do better. "Redpill" her as /pol/ would say. Stop her from committing suicide in the next few years. It's all up to you OP. Bonne Chanse.


Ex-trans here, can confirm.
>>
I was really confused reading this, I thought she brought a friend along to every conversation you had. Then I realized it's some weird English thing to name individuals as multiple people.
>>
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OP again, I've woken up and feel less like an emotional wrecking ball so that's good.

>>17909100
Sorry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
>>17909118
I hate to come across as a judgemental prick, but no. All I'll say is that they don't really pass, at all.
>>17909164
Care to elaborate?
>>17909220
"They/them" is being adopted as a gender neutral way to refer to someone, at least in the US (and on college campuses, especially.)
>>
>>17909268
>I hate to come across as a judgemental prick, but no. All I'll say is that they don't really pass, at all.
so just be her friend and stay until she realizes there's a more attractive suitor?

ez
>>
>>17906606
>>she identifies as a trans-boy, asexual panromantic, and is in a relationship with a trans-girl
do not stick your dick in crazy
>>
>>17909268
>"They/them" is being adopted as a gender neutral way to refer to someone, at least in the US (and on college campuses, especially.)

by the fringe and it is not universally used in the US despite your brain washing, only the weak fall for this shit
>>
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>>17909561
I mean, yeah. I don't plan on _not_ being a friend, I don't want to do anything to jeopardize that.
>>17909616
Thing is, they're not "crazy." They've probably had their share of hardships, and I'm in no place to judge that. They're just a genuinely nice person who I get along with and share a lot of interests with. It's kind of hard for me not to like them. Problem is, whenever I like someone (which, all things considered, has not been that many people) it becomes really hard for me to think of anyone else. Like, you could put a really cute person in front of me right now and have them say they like me and we could go out and I'd still be thinking of the original person.
>>17909622
>fringe
Have you been on a college campus lately?
>>
>>17909840
>Have you been on a college campus lately?
yes but you are running with a different crowd apparently that soaks up this cult mind fuckin. Might help you get your head on straight if you hang out with some real men
>>
>>17909840
>Thing is, they're not "crazy."
yes they are and trying way too hard with the label shit. Everyone when young struggles with who they are and where to fit but when you go off the track you are fucking crazy and don't stick your dick in crazy
>>
>>17909884
Not him but college age people are still very much trying to find themselves and validating yourself with labels is not "crazy", just kind of juvenile and very tumblr. That's not even a bad thing, it just shouldn't be what carries someone through the rest of their life.
>>
OP how does it feel knowing she's probably getting railed by her ugly tranny gf on New Years Eve and you're just sitting at home alone on 4chan thinking about her?
Cuck.
>>
>>17909976
>asexual
also, rood
>>
>>17910108
doesn't mean they aren't fuckin'
they probably are if they're both fucked in the head

isn't that romantic? two fuck ups fuckin' on new years eve while OP's sitting on 4chan

fuck you, OP
>>
>>17909976
>>17910279
Man who put a stick up your ass?
>>
>>17906606
Just stop liking her, you have basically no connection to her besides attraction and talking few minutes.

Just drop her and ask someone else out now that you have took the hardest steps.
>>
>>17910306
>talking few minutes.
From what I read it seems like they hung out several times and maintain contant on snapchat, and this was all seemingly recent, so I don't know if I'd be able to drop someone that easily, desu. So OP's predicament is understandable.

Just stay friends, man.
>>
>>17910335
Should have dropped her after the first day and finding she was taken instead of putting himself into a friendzone with some tranny.
>>
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>>17910348
>>17910306
>implying emotions and feelings toward another person are something you can just turn on and off like a switch
>>
>>17910376
Hes not in love you faggot, hes flustered because first female gave him positive response in his life.

I can guarantee he would feel the same to any other girl that went and shared a cup of coffee and 30 minutes of talk with this guy.
>>
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>>17910306
>>17910348
>>17910382
Alright alright,
>first female gave him positive response
I mean, this is half-true? This is the first time I've just walked up to someone I liked, yeah. But I have several female friends who are objectively very attractive that I talk to regularly, it's not just "female attention" otherwise I'd be "flustered" all the time.
>I can guarantee he would feel the same to any other girl that went and shared a cup of coffee and 30 minutes of talk with this guy.
I have done this before, and no, it's quite a different feeling. I wouldn't use "love" obviously, that's too strong and needs to be gained mutually. I don't really have the words to describe it other than I just really like them.
And the reason I didn't just "drop" her on the first day is that regardless of what happens, I feel like I've made a friend and don't want to end that just because I have feelings for them and they probably don't.
>>17910279
>>17909976
stop please
>>
>>17910392
Then what's the problem, your friends with her and that's that.
>>
>>17910392
>they probably don't
i wouldn't be so sure, OP

just keep talking and see what happens, i have a hunch something may happen soon to push things in a different direction.
(>>17907267 here btw, see my point saying that any rational girl would say they are in a relationship or at least mention it in passing if they wanted to establish those boundaries from the beginning)
>>
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>>17910398
Other than my own anxiety and feelings conjuring a storm of wildly varying emotions inside me that are out of my control, which is completely my problem and not theirs, none.
Again, typing all of that shit out was basically a form of venting and releasing that stress for me, as I had no way of doing so previously.

I'm happy we're friends, sure, but the problem is that I like them a lot and don't know how to deal with that (And can't do anything about it, currently.)
I'm just going to play it by ear and see what happens.

>>17910401
Well, I hope you're right, but nothing has really gone as expected for the last year or so for me so nothing really surprises me anymore.
>>
>>17910410
You should stop referring her as them, makes her pussy drier than the sahara and makes you look like a cuck.
>>
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>>17910419
Yes and then look like an asshole for not at least somewhat adhering to their pronouns. In fact, their "preferred" pronouns are he/him, according to their tumblr, so I'm not even really doing that (and keep in mind this hasn't been brought up by them personally yet, but from what I've seen on tumblr as a whole I think the point is that it shouldn't have to be.)

I'm not dealing with some basic cookie-cutter sorority girl, mind you. Get something like that wrong with someone like this and you'll forever be branded an asshole with whom they'd rather not communicate with. That is exactly what I'm trying to _avoid_ (not like it's hard, I'm still being myself just ever so more careful in what I say.)
>>
>>17910437
hey what ever you say but it won't make women want to fuck you.
>>
I always new one day a 4chan guy would fall for a tumblr xir, and it'd be some sort of 'forbidden romance' schtick.

Good luck OP, and may you have many politically confused and multi coloured haired xildren.
>>
>>17910510
>implying OP is going to get past the tranny gf

good luck either way, OP
>>
>>17910443
Let's be real here, that doesn't have much to do with whether a woman wants to fuck you. I am an unrepentant ass and no one fucks me
>>
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>>17910569
>I am an unrepentant ass and no one fucks me
...no shit?
>>
>>17910856
shh don't break his bubble
>>
Do NOT do anything around this girl that would indicate that you've read her "Tumblr" (whatever the fuck that is - I've gone my whole life without looking at a "Tumblr" and am not about to start now)

If you like her, treat her like a female, seeing as how she hasn't given you personally any reason to think she isn't and try flirting with her seeing as how she hasn't said anything to you about being aromantic and a tranny-phile.

You might the the guy who snaps her out of her fantasyland and causes her to remember that she actually is a woman.
>>
>>17911015
this OP

this this this
>>
bump

interested in OP's plight
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