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what the fuck

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So I started doing online dating. There are only three things guys will message me.

>some form of "hey" or "sup"
>fucking profile questions like "whats your dream? favorite color? favorite book?"
>sup beautiful god damn ur fine send me ur #?

I had over a dozen messages before I could even finish my profile. I filled it out as much as I care to, but people just like, casually mention something I said to prove they read it, and then proceed to ask me generic ass questions like they care what my fucking dinner was. Is this literally all guys can come up with? I'm pretty young so I don't have much experience. But if it isn't someone my age (20) trying WAY too hard to impress me, or a 40 year old asking me to give him my number, it's just "hey." What do

no the pic isn't me
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>>17904930
what do you expect them to say?
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>>17904930

lol, what do you expect them to do? you get mad if its just a 'hey' you get mad if its questions about whats up, and you get mad if they cut to the chase.

what are they supposed to do if literally reading your profile is considered 'trying way too hard to impress me'.

maybe you should do the lfirting and guide the relationship if you're that good at it.
>>
Im a dude, but I have noticed online dating is like an extreme of regular problems of dating. I will send out literally 500 messages, get 1 or 2 replies, often the 1 or 2 turn out to be scam sex bots. My friends who are girls get spammed with a ton. Its a totally different experience.

I dont think there is any advise, its just society.
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>>17904930
Most people using online dating failed to find a partner the normal way, so it's bound that many of them suck at basics of social interactions. With some time, it's likely that someone decent will hit you up, especially if your profile isn't pure shit.

When I did my social experiment with fake female account, I'd had about 50 messages in 1 day, 5 of them were alright.
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>>17904956
Something you would say to me in person. Not this favorite book crap. I expect a guy to talk to me like a human, not an exam
>>17904956
Because, I don't want to be asked what my favorite book or video game is. I want to get to know someone not small talk them to death
>>17904995
I hope you're right
>>
I kinda agree with other anons but I also see where you're coming from.
Ive never done any of this online dating shenanigans but if I did I'd say more than a hi.

Something along the lines of.. I'm 33, got a couple of loving children, fully satisfied with every thing in my life but getting bored of my wife as I can't share anything with her without the fear of getting judged and some sort of an adverse reaction.
That's the only reason I'm here, just looking for someone to have casual sex with and share things with without a care in the world and expect you to do likewise.

Phew...Feels great to get that off my chest.
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>>17905006
>Something you would say to me in person.
List some examples of things guys who have never met you before, have said to you right out the gate, upon first approaching you.

I'm genuinely curious. I am willing to bet it started with something like, "hey."
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>>17905008
>The only reason I'm here is because I'm too much of a coward to tell my wife I'm unhappy and want to fix the problem by going to therapy, so we can save our marriage and family.

There, fixed it for you.
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>>17904995
Oh and out of the 5 decent starters, 3 went full retard after chatting for ten minutes and 1 guy dumped his entire life story on me (with pics of his exes and family and pets and bikes) after we started the introduction stuff. It's a numbers game.

>>17904992
> 500 messages, get 1 or 2 replies
Sounds pretty extreme, was your opener as bad as in OP? Although generally you do have to show more initiative as a guy but at least when you get a reply, it tends to be better than the shit girls get spammed with.

It's a numbers game for both genders, just in a different way.

>>17905008
> I can't share anything with her without the fear of getting judged and some sort of an adverse reaction
Jesus fuck, why did you even marry and have kids with her?
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>>17905006
whats your favorite tv show you braindead retard. go meet someone irl if you want irl conversation.
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>>17905014
Do you not get it, kid? It's not "hey" that's the issue, it's that it's ONLY "hey". No guy has ever walked up to me and said "Hey." Guys who approach me irl are outgoing and charismatic, which explains why they do it. I guess the answer to my question is the guys online are all shy, reserved and clueless
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>>17904930
What openers do you use when initiating with guys online?
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>>17905029
>hey I'm a sycophant :D. Check it out!
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>>17905035
I saw a guy with a picture of him in shorts pointing to his huge dick bulge and said "buddy, no way is that your real dick"
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>>17905035
*uploads picture with cleavage showing
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>>17905029
Stop dodging my request. Type out things guys have said to you, that you responded well to. Not "oh they were charismatic." No. Type out what they said. No one here can help your crazy ass if you can't communicate what it is you like, so the proper advice can be given.
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>>17905029
Are you better than them?

You probably aren't. How about you be a little less judgemental? Guys aren't these perfect beings that know everything to say to a woman. Most of the time, especially online they're just throwing shit out hoping to get some attention from some girl. A lot of times asking retarded questions work. Just because you don't like doesn't mean there aren't 50 other women out there that will respond to that and get a conversation going.
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>>17905047
Get a grip, anon. You don't have any advice and i'm not playing your game.
>>17905048
go be self conscious elsewhere
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>>17905041
So he had a funny image which provided you with an opener. Maybe you should try the same thing, stick some socks down your pants and point to your bulge. You'll definitely get some interesting responses out of that.
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>>17905052
Go be a cunt somewhere else.
>>
Good replies here. This is actuality a very interesting subject to me. About me, I'm 32, male, bi, in an open relationship with a woman who is 30 and straight. We've been open for a year, and together for 6. We both use Tinder on a regular basis, and we have very different experiences.

First of all, give the small talk a chance. They want to know about you too. A crazy woman can ruin your life, burn down your house, steal your shit, etc etc. You have to pass the "crazy test" too, you know.

Text is also literally the worst form of human communication. It's important to remember that. You can make anything sound weird in your head if you read it the right way. Give it a try sometime, just read a block of text with a sarcastic voice, then a condescending voice, then a fake nice voice, it's terrible. There's some interesting science behind that.

Another thing is that you're correct, guys are terrible. I know because I fuck them sometimes. They're irresponsible, disgusting, mentally vacant fuck machines with little to offer society.
Hold on, I might be running out of room....
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>waah I'm getting all this attention and can't be bothered to make any more of an effort

If you don't like how the men are opening, take the goddamn initiative and start messaging first. If you don't like sorting through strangers in your inbox, take the goddamn initiative and start messaging first. If you don't like feeling as if you are a piece of meat up for inspection, take the goddamn initiative and start messaging first.
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>>17904930
>I had over a dozen messages before I could even finish my profile
whoa
arent you a hottie
kek
>>
Wait, did I miss something?

Is there some secret way of finding things out without asking questions? I thought that's how humans learned? By asking questions. How am I supposed to learn more about you without asking these "generic ass questions"? Should I spice them up with shakespearean quips?
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>>17905088
The problem is, non-atrocious looking girls go on these sites and think they're special or above people that are just looking for some sex/a relationship. The real problem is guys keep perpetuating this lie by treating them like they're special.
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>>17904930
the majority of men are social fucking idiots. throw a vagina into the ring and they act as if they can only process with half of their brains.
I think you should only talk to men that you find attractive/interesting based on their profiles. Don't message men who message you first unless they actually have something interesting to say that sets them apart from the rest. You don't want to waste your time with idiots do you?
You have your pick of the litter as a woman on a dating site, because the majority of users are male. Good luck anon
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>>17905098
>non-atrocious looking girls
kek
remains to be seen
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>>17905104
Nah, there's qts on some of these sites. Every single guy on the site hits on them, though. So unless you're a 10/10 yourself, you won't get any response.
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>>17905088
Asking questions isn't an issue but it's not something you start with unless the question itself is good.

Most idiots on dating sites either ask multiple yes/no questions in a row or something boring like "your favorite X" without even following up with anything worth talking about. Dating shouldn't feel like a job interview.

>Is there some secret way of finding things out without asking questions?
Stories. Also subtext. Obviously requires a person who can read between the lines but if they can't, they aren't worth replying to either way.
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>>17905062 cont'd
So yeah, it's important for them to prove themselves. You need to put some personal effort into the conversation or it will never go anywhere. Ask them about hobbies, employment/school studies, have you traveled out of the country before, what do you want to do with your life, blah blah blah. It's important.

All this is one thing. The next thing is extremely important: meet the person in public for a chat. A lot of guys are dumb and they think a person will just come to their house for a fuck. Actually, I have done that before, but it was stupid and irresponsible. Never do that. (There's actually a lot of gay guys that love anonymous sex. It's something that men can do that almost no sane woman is capable of. If he wants that, forget him, he's failed the crazy test.) Always meet the person in public for a coffee or whatever and make sure they're sane. Even if you're already sure they're cool, do it anyway because guess what, the chemistry might not be there, and it's good to be able to just say, "Hey thanks for coming. I'm going home now, I'll let you know what I decide to do next."

Guess what, it's hard for girls too. My girlfriend has a hard time finding guys she likes. For me, I usually say the same thing to everyone (Too many bots to personalize every single attempt) but I say, "Hey! Wanna trade travel stories? I have a few." I feel like that's a decent way to get to know someone a little and tell them about how I
1.) Have a job
2.) Enough spare money to travel
3.) Enjoy different people and cultures
4.) Can plan something like a trip

And so on.
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>>17905088
>Wait, did I miss something?
That women on dating sites behave like sociopaths?

The best part is, OP will never admit that she'd ghost almost every one of the guys she's discrediting because they aren't communicating the way she expects.

Actually, no, the best part is that OP thinks we should be taking her seriously when the only guy she's admitted contacting herself had a profile picture of him embellishing his junk.
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>>17905143
>they think a person will just come to their house for a fuck
W-wait, are you telling me if I ask for her number and favorite book, then call her pretty couple times, she's not going to come over and blow me?

Reee, online dating sucks.
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>>17904930
Okay OP.

Let's say a guy messages you a long ass paragraph. WOULD you read it?

Online dating is honestly bull shit and any real guy wouldn't bother with it. He would either use tinder, or go out of his way to talk to a girl he likes at school or work.

But you understand you can't form real connection through text right?
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>>17905157
Seriously, my girl was chatting with this dude and he invited her to his house. She was like, "No, i'm not going straight to your house, we have to meet somewhere else first." Then he said, "Uh, ok. I can meet you outside on the corner."
That shit is legitimately funny.
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>>17905174
>my girl
your daughter?
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>>17905162
>Let's say a guy messages you a long ass paragraph. WOULD you read it?
It worked for me most of the time (as the guy), obviously you can't totally overdo it. The size of OPs post is the upper limit.
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>>17905178
Read the posts again.
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>>17905189
nein
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>>17905006
>Something you would say to me in person.

I mean, is that not what people say in person? I normally just start out with a ,"hey, what up?" in person. I'd imagine I'd say hi, you'd say hi back because youre a firnedly person, not a too good for everybody bitch, and then we both branch from there.

You wouldn't see me approach you out of nowhere with some extreme try hardy conversation starter that came out of left field.

Seems to me like youre looking for someone to catch your attention out of 100s of people saying generic greetings. Which is understandable, it's hard to find somebody that catches your attention online. I've easily lost interest in girls who responded to me, just because I cant be bothered to log in everyday to talk to somebody I hardly know. I need a physical presence.
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>>17905018
I don't want us going to therapy as the marriage itself is absolutely fine. Quite pubescent of you to assume that I haven't had more than one discussion on this issue with my wife.
The fact of the matter, my young, single anon, is that people change over time and there's not much you can do about it. Besides, I'm possibly being ungrateful right now for all that I have.

>>17905027
She wasn't like this before. Besides, people over change over time or you get to know them better or you yourself change.
All the same, I have no intention of ever leaving her, she loves me too much and I definitely do love her as well as all the things she does for me.
But I'm human after all, never happy or satisfied, married too early, grass is greener on the other side etc. etc.
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>>17905006
Well, your reaction process that you essentially are an exam, to which a guy needs to provide the correct answers (pick-up line, introduction, etc) that neither you or he actually knows.
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>>17904930
>>17905006
>>17905029
Kek, no wonder you attract weirdos. You're very hostile, and difficult to talk to.
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>>17905052
Ain't nobody want to talk to nasty bitches like you.
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>>17905174
That's a creepy relationship to have with your kid.
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>>17904930
It's because you gotta message a million girls before even one responds. If I have to message every girl something intricate, than I will never get a response. OP, you should find profiles of guys you like who have said hi or just start one with a profile who you like that hasn't messaged you yet.
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>>17905675
If you use such shitty openers, you only increase the amount of work for you since you'd need to message more girls, until some is bored and desperate enough to write back to you.
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>>17904930

Damn you sound like an entitled little dyke. If you would be on there for actual experience with other human beings and not just to push your tiny self-esteem you would appreciate the fact that there are guys that message you. How about you messaging first of you like someone? How about putting yourself in the other persons shoes and seeing that no matter what you tell, you just can't be the charismatic prince charming via online texts. If you want a fairy tale love, go read a book. If you want actual human beings, open up and stop being so arrogant. These guys at least have the courage and confidence to text you first. Can't say the same about you. So either live up to your own expectations and be an interesting women that is worth writing interesting things to, or be the boring arrogant one that complains how all guys are clueless while you are just an empty passionless person.
>>
you're delusional about your self worth
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>>17904930
Bitches and whores I swear.
Why dont you try messaging guys first.
Fucking whores have no idea how hard it is for men. You expect every male to treat you like a special snowflake devoting all of their time to you while you just soak it up and pick one.
This is why men treat women like shit. Its literally a numbers game, the ones who want to be treated like a special snowflake are instant trash because they are nothing more than attention whores. The ones genuinely looking will initiate the conversation.
>>
As an online dating veteran, I can only talk about the male side, but it was pretty successfull for me.

I have spent about two years on different dating platforms, personally liked OKC and POF the most, tinder was pretty meh, lot's of matches but not much for me to talk about. There are also a few new and niche apps out there like Bumble or Once. But if you are looking for something longterm and like to get to know a lot about your Partner, then OKC is the goto place.

I very selectively messaged girls and only send out about 30 messages on OKC and POF over the course of about two years. But got around 60% answered, went on 4 dates and got into two relationships.

Basically I try to have a creative hello, then I say what part of her profile caught my attention and I liked enough that it brought me to send her a message and then I ask a question about somethign that is unclear or where i might want a more specific answer or anything basically. Finishing it off with a greeting and my real name.

Then it's just a matter of your profile if you get an answer or not. So try to make it funny and not too strict.

My personal experience is also, that chicks that write you first are mostly full of shit and just try something because they know they don't have a chance to ever catch your attention otherwise.
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DUDE! JUST FUCKING ANSWER!

Go to the guys profile, read his info, if you like him, "hi" should be MORE than enough.
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>>17905052
Then you deserve loneliness you dumb bitch. Maybe you should just roll with it and see where the conversations go. Obviously talking online will be different than in person. How about you don't be so boring and reply back with how it supposed to be done then. You're a joke
>>
I kinda gave up on the idea because it felt awkward

I got like 3 replies from I dunno, 7 tries or so? Usually asked them something that wasn't posted on their profile, fairly normal stuff, and acted funny on occasion

I dunno, the conversation just went nowhere very quickly, I felt like I was supposed to keep the whole thing and they didn't ask anything back; I'm used to having conversations where the other person also is interested in something or curious or w/e

But anyway, my real point being that I realized that there are indeed people who literally just say "sup" and that's it
Only two grills approached me, for whatever reason, and only said "hello"
That was it, hello

I'll never bitch (as much) about grills on dating website because holy shit, that's the most retarded way to start things off

Just be straight next time and say
"hello, I'm only testing if you'll reply and carry the conversation, because that might trigger me to think you're replying because of my looks, so hello"
>>
Hey

Hey pt 2

me
>pff, what an asshole
>>
OP, could you give some examples of questions/openers that you got and thought were ok, or nice?

The request goes for any femanon (hah) in here, that'd be really helpful

You know, constructive feedback instead of just saying "this is shit, and this is shit, and this I don't like"

t-thanks
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>>17905878
that is literally what i say to certain girls though, n i mean seriously..

most of you aren't even interesting. if you photographed yourself next to an alien on a planet billions of lightyears away, posted it on your okcupid and talked about how awesome your life is. I'd still say "hey", just to get your attention. Your life is less impressive than you think, might as well answer, read the profile, if you like me, good, if you don't like me, good.
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>>17905882
We already tried and OP dodged the question multiple times. Obviously they don't even know how a conversation should be started, only that it's not good enough.
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>>17905887
anon don't be so pissy, come on

I'm sure there have been convo's that the femanons liked, perhaps they just have something else to do than answering anons on 4chins

so in the meantime I'm trying to figure it out muhself from the okcupid blog

they're kinda cool because they gather all dem data about this stuff

>patiently waiting for answers that will never come
>>
They just want to bang you and they are sending you something to see if you are interested.
>>
if op isnt baiting, this is exactly why i am bitter towards women. there isnt much you can say to someone on a dating site other than ask them a question that realtes to there profile in an attempt to create a convo. you cant just expect guys to put in 100% of the effort. you, as a women, have to put in effort to make a conversation happen. also, women do exactly the same thing when they message me but i am able to create a conversation out of it. its not hard. real life is completely different because you can talk about shit happening in the moment. stop being so fucking judgemental.
>>
>>17905893
not the guy you where talking to. im not surprised people are pissy. op is being a cunt.
>>
>>17905052
>OP: this isn't what I want!
>Us: what do you want?
>OP: fuck you!

My Christmas wish is that women's suicide rates will climb dramatically this year.
>>
>>17905029
>>17905006
>>17904930


I am beginning to understand why you as a woman are on dating sites. If you act even half as shitty in real life as you do on here there is no hope for you.

Good luck with being such a cunt, I hope it works out for you. I bet you'll charm the pants right off of some interesting guy and he will fall deeply in love with all that you bring to the table.
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>>17904930

Couldn't agree more with >>17905910 , if you want an interesting guy to have deep conversations and a fucking fantastic sex life with, put some effort in on your part.

There's a hundred different factors that have conditioned the way women think these days, modern dating and technology being among them. Coupled with the 'milennial' problem, most of the generation is screwed because of an inability to get over feeling so entitled.

Want advice, OP? Don't act shitty and self-absorbed, put yourself out there and make an effort to talk with the guys you're interested in; we appreciate it so much more than you think.
>>
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Saging and labelling thread as bait, there's no way girls these day are this bad
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>>17905157
>W-wait, are you telling me if I ask for her number and favorite book, then call her pretty couple times, she's not going to come over and blow me?
It's funny reading this as a gay dude, because, in our world, that happens all the time
>>
Female what do you want?
Not this.
Ok can you give me an example
Just not this.
Like one example of what you want
No

This roastie only wants Chads cock. I'm guessing she wants some form of "come over to my big house and I'll fuck your brains out" sent by some big strong handsome alpha male.

This proves she doesn't really care what they say she just wants hot guys to be interested in her
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>>17905946
>here's no way girls these day are this bad

there are some girls as bad as this. im hoping this is bait anyway.
>>
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>came in thread hoping to shit on op
>turns out everyone else did it for me already.
Good start to a good day.
>>
Women are even stupider on these apps. They hit "like" and have the option of talking to you, but they don't. If you think we're wasting our time, keep swiping.
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>>17906000
Czech'd

This bait is deep fried roastie so who cares, it's tasty. Just needs some bread crumbs. Deep-fried roastie tendies~
>>
>>17906004
im not sexist but sometimes these app makes me passive aggressive towards women, especially when they post shit like op did.
>>
>>17906014
They're pretty fuckin' p-a with us all the time. Sounds like that's just what being an adult is; this constant sarcastic side argument that never ends.
Buddy of mine brought out some mulatto chick for his bday with the dudes and she was standard, "make small remarks here and there, check phone while at a bar, shit on any ideas that come up, offer none of her own", probably because no one was paying her special attention. Even had the nerve to tell one guy, "nah, you have energy but youre not going to go anywhere with your ideas" as though someone personally attacked her. Who wants to be around that?

God forbid if shillary won somehow. The shade they would be throwing against every guy, just for the fuck of it would be grounds for a slappin'.
>>
>>17904930
100% of messages I've received from women on dating sites have been either "hey," or "hi." Which is really weird given how much women complain about that.

Also, how do you decide who to respond to? Because it seems like you're basing it 100% off the message, rather than clicking on their profile, seeing if you're interested, then responding to interesting people. "Hey" is just an opener, after you find someone you think is good and say hey back, you can get into some kind of real conversation.
>>
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Well what do you want from boys:EYO MAAAH WANNA SUCK MY BBC AAWGHS YEAH SEND ME PUS PUS VIDS AYYYYYYY UBONAFINE.
>>
>>17904930
Online dating is stupid, just approach guys irl.
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>>17906035
>Even had the nerve to tell one guy, "nah, you have energy but youre not going to go anywhere with your ideas" as though someone personally attacked her. Who wants to be around that?

... bloody ell. i cant stand women like this. i hope your friend pumped and bumped that bitch. one of my friends was going out with a girl like that but she was nearly as much of a bitch as you describe but you know she was the type that just made a few comments, and stood there looking pretty.
>>
>>17904930
So what makes you think you're so special to deserve some awesome messages?

This is the funny thing about chicks. They always blame guys but never realize that they're the boring ones.
>>
>>17904930
women usually resort to online dating because they failed at irl.
>>
I actually expected to get something of use or constructive out of this thread

I used to be more cynical about these things, wtf has happened to me holy shit
>I'm scared
>>
>>17906532
actual constructive advice: don't look for someone who can write great first messages, look for someone you want to have a realtionship with :^)
>>
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>>17906550
goddammit anon you almost had me
>thinking you'd get me with that cheeky advice
>>
>>17905126
Nigga you're on a dating site. There are several questions you can ask a person to determine whether or not you should pursue a relationship with them. Why waste anyone's time with bullshit? Save the stories for when you know you're already interested.
>>
sup beautiful god damn ur fine send me ur #?
>>
>>17905062
Shit man, you even sound like a woman. Might as well transition.
>>
>>17906532
what do you expect? you sounded really bitter in your op, and this is a male dominated website, with an awful lot of the community being quiet guys in real life.

saying just "hey" in an opening message is redundant if you have actually filled in your profile. but you cant expect guys to do much more than ask a question relating to your interests. would be retarded if a guy tells you about his day or his life story because you probably wouldent care. the chat is there to speak a bit, and trade number if you get on. the last girl i dated from POF literally sent a message saying "hey, if you could be friends with a fictional character from a book, who would it be and why". This gave me enough to write a decent reply and it created a conversation. you could equally create a conversation if a guy asked you "hey, what books do you enjoy reading" or "hey, how did you get into drawing". if you expect the guy to put in all the effort, you're a shitty women that doesn't deserve a decent bf.
>>
Are you willing to start the convos?
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>>17906683
anon you have me confused, I was the guy asking for conversation starters that femanons actually liked, not OP

that being said, I mostly agree with your point
mostly why I kinda gave up on the online thing, for a while at least, the last two relationships I felt I was doing all the work and online it was the same story all over again, but from the beginning this time
I already have a job, I don't want another one desu, and providing interesting conversation and travel ideas isn't exactly in my current job description
>>
>>17904930
Have you ever sent a message first? I'd be willing to be you struggle to come up with something meaningful as an opener. Unfortunately gender norms have led you to believe that you should sit around and wait for the man of your dreams to message you, while you sit around and shit on randos for not being up to par. Try doing some work on the other side of the messaging fence and see how it goes
>>
>>17905035

"Are you a koala? Because you meet all the koalafications" is what I send to girls. I spend my time just fucking around on these apps rather then actually using them for dating/sex. I've found that most people on these apps are terribly boring/psycho.
>>
>>17906957
thought you where op. i apologize.

yeah, online dating sucks. i have gotten a few dates from pof and the girl just messed me about
>>
>>17904930

You're an entitled cunt. Guys give you casual greetings because it's what they would do in real life; it isn't a fucking performance and we are not performing monkeys.

Imagine saying Hey online, or some random quirky obscure quip of some kind...then translate that into a real life field situation...I guarantee you'd feel more comfortable with a guy saying hello in the street than HEY DO YOU KNOW WHY SPIDERS' LEGS CURL UP WHEN THEY DIE?? WELL, SPIDERS HAVE NO MUSCLES IN THEIR LEGS, THEY SPIKE THEIR BLOOD PRESSURE IN EACH LEG IN ORDER TO MANEUVER, ESSENTIALLY WALKING WITH 8 COCKS ATTACHED TO THEIR BODIES.

Lower your fucking expectations and you'll get on better.
>>
>>17906660
Hey :)
>>
>>17904930
I understand most guys send dumb messages but even if a guy writes out a longer meaningful message he's still probably going to get ignored so why bother? that's why they say "hey" because it's quick and easy and if you're interested you will respond and then get into a proper conversation
>>
>>17907222

I'm not OP, but a guy with a decent success rate on OkCupid and shit, and "hey" is the biggest fucking waste of my time from a girl. What does "hey" tell me? Especially because most people's profiles are bland as fuck.

"Six Things I Couldn't Do Without:

Cell Phone
Friends
Whiskey ;)
Chap Stick
Rihanna
Tacos"

>Message me if you want to know more

No, I fucking don't. You're boring as shit. Explain what you ACTUALLY like. I'm not here to meet someone that's here to be as bland and safe as possible, I'm here to actually meet someone who is fun, and shares interests with me. If I want to "ask you to learn more," I may as well head to a bar or something.

So, I get OP, but the fact that she can't come up with a single example of what she likes is a pain in the ass too. On Tinder and POF, I'd use a shitty pun, but on OKC, I feel like it should be longer term, and a conversation to actually learn about someone.
>>
>>17907263
>>17907222

Sorry, my entire point with that post was to tell you that you're a faggot for thinking "hey" should be something that someone should bother putting the effort in messaging you back for.

The reason? It's absolutely fucking clear you're not messaging that chick because you have any interest in her whatsoever, just that you messaged as many girls as you possibly could, hoping someone would bite, because you're desperate to meet ANYONE.
>>
>>17904930
I'm 20 too, going out tonight for NYE, what city?
>>
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>>17905946
i've got some bad news for you...
>>
>>17905893
Here is the reality: it does not matter what a guy says. What matters is that the person he contacts finds them attractive.

I did the OKC thing for a few months. As far as messaging goes, I was successful in eliciting a response relative what the Internet says usually happens to guys. Maybe it was because I was selective in who I messaged. Maybe it was because I said more than "hey." But here is the wrinkle: none of these women wanted to go on a date. Ask to meet face-to-face? Ghosted. Ask for a number? Ghosted. Receive number, multiple enthusiastic texts, and invite them to dinner? Ghosted. Conclusion is: I'm entertaining, but not attractive. That's what matters on these sites.
>>
>>17905194
He's a self hating cuck in an open relationship. Disregard what he says.
>>
>>17904930
if the question sounds really unoriginal and generic theyre just trying to get laid. and if you dont want those kinds of guys then pull up your damn shirt. how would you like it if a guy was showing off his calvin klein underwear and was biting his lip in a photo and he told you hey whats up. you would call him a pedo. so shut the fuvk up and stop being dramatc.
>>
>>17907371
Yeah, that happened to me too. The best that you can hope to get from dating sites is experiencie talking to girls, which can be helpful if you are a spagetti-droppin' mess.
Forget about dating if you dont have the looks. Waaaay too many of the girls in those sites are there not to date but to get attention from guys.
>>
>>17904930

This is the problem with dating apps

It puts women on this ivory pedestal as hundreds of guys throw themselves at their feet and she gets to pick and choose based on her own retarded lack of logic

A girl doesnt want you to just say hey
She doesnt want you to ask her "interview" questions based on her profile aka her personality
She doesnt want you to just message her with a sex request

You know what I think? I think there is no right answer and girls dont know what the fuck they want and putting them in charge of the courtship process is a bad idea

Theres a reason why girls dont ask guys out, and wait to be asked out
Theres a reason why guys pick the date and not the girl

Tinder and dating sites get this ass backwards
Girls will say they ignore literally hundreds of guys and reply to one because hes "charismatic and outgoing" but thats bull because he sent the exact same kinda message as everyone else did

The only difference is she got pussy tingles looking at his profile picture but doesnt wanna be judged, so she'll say it was his "character" that attracted her to him after he pumps and dumps her like most fuccbois do

Thats why I like this progressive movement of modern women being more attentive and assertive, acting more like guys, being aggressive, asking guys out, picking dates and being sexually liberated that they dont have any notion of "sluttiness"

At least they admit they pick who they want to fuck based on the same merits as guys and not delude themselves
>>
>>17904930
ok, what the fuck do you want them to as a random stranger?
>>
Ive been messaging this chick and she said she was down for anything, but we cant find a time to do anything, she pretty much just says she doesn't know when we can hangout. Ive asked more times then i should now i have no idea where to go from here
>>
>>17905062
fuck off faggot cuck
>>
>>17904930
>What do

Work your way from small talk to real talk like a functional fucking human being.

Goddamn, I'm a shut-in /r9k/ autist creep millennial, and I understand this basic concept of social fucking interaction.

Jesus Christ, you women really do get everything handed to you, even social "skills".
Talking is like sex to you, as in, you just let the man make it happen then get on your fucking high horse acting like your hot shit.
Holy fucking shit, you're useless.

Think about real life, how many people do you know that just start having a real fucking conversation and rapport right off the bat?
Strangers are cautious around each other, they use small talk to feel each other out and find common ground. Good fucking god.
>>
>>17904930
>hey
>what do u do
>oh ok
>how ur day go
>ikr
>well let do something
>oh ok cya
>>
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>>17907557
>Girls will say they ignore literally hundreds of guys
What, you want me to reply to every guy that messages me? Oh gosh, mister, thanks for giving me the opportunity to jump on your magic penis. I'm so honored *bats eyelashes*. Grow up.

> girls dont know what the fuck they want
That's the problem. Guys post up one lame ass photo that they took in the bathroom (usually with their toilet seat up in the background) and then blame women for not getting any responses.

I don't care if your mommy told you that you were a special snowflake. Show me that you know how to do something besides go to work and game. Go somewhere. Take pictures.

And for God's sake, don't write 8 followup messages asking why I haven't responded. Take a hint and improve yourself. Be the type of guy that women would want, and a woman will want you.
>>
>>17907748
not the guy you replied to.

i agree with everything you said except the picture part.

you cant expect a guy to take a picture of everything he does. i go boxing for example, i cant take a picture of me randomly hitting the bag or something ,its retarded. i also read, what do you want me to do, take a picture of me reading a book. bloody ell.

also, if someone is working 5 times a week, there is nothing wrong with them doing not much else but gaming.
>>
>>17907748

You're the reason dating sites suck dick

You've got unrealistic standards. Remember: You arent special for having high standards in your online dating profile. Just like you recieve hundreds of messages and get to pick and choose who you reply to based on some inane criteria, guys can play right back

Because that guy that you reply to has sent the exact same message to 50 other women as he did to you just to see who bit and was dtf

t. Fuccboi
>>
>>17904930
Girls don't understand how difficult online dating is for guys, and guys don't understand how shit online dating is for girls.

I honestly don't know why people stoop that low.

Guys, go outside make eye contact with a girl and talk to her

Girls, be approachable
>>
>>17908602
>this salty
>fucbboi
LOL we can all dream can't we anon. In order to be a Fuccboi you have to "fucc"
XD
>>
>>17908604

I dont see how its shit for girls desu

You just get a lot of offers and get to pick whoever strikes your fancy. If you have the patience to sift through profiles then whats the issue?
>>
>>17904930
Go out and meet people. I've never had one good experience with online dating/match-making. It's a joke. Enables men to be lazy.
>>
>>17907748
Honestly this girl is speaking full truths, and the betas of /adv/ clearly are getting some PTSD triggers, and are trying their best not to have to self-assess.

However, you're not going to find any worthwhile guys on a dating website, they're typically bottom of the barrel (hence they're on a dating site, you're not going to find a suave handsome chad on a dating website, because he's too busy hitting up girls in real life) so I'd get off their if I were you, if you really have to join back on in your 30's when your ovaries dry up and your in your final desperate attempt to find a partner before you start adopting cats/kill yourself
>>
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>>17908607

Im not salty, Im objective. You a hoe with unrealistic standards and I get enough action from tinder thank you very much. Once you learn that most women are pretty similar and all you have to do is put out 30 messages and on average 3-5 will give you a good response.

Then you give em the spiel about what you like about them and romance em and shit, and they're sitting there thinking "Haha out of 1500 matches I picked my fave and he's all mine"

She dont know shes just 1 of 3 that month
>>
>>17908613

Women on dating apps arent cream of the crop either for the same reason.

Like you said, dating sites are a shitshow with flawed social dynamics. Rl much better
>>
>>17908613
shit that's a lot of spelling errors and grammatical blunders, oh well i'm tired give me a break.
>>
>>17908613
/r9k/ bitter virgin neckbeard autistic NEET gives advice on dating: the post.
>>
>>17907263
pff, okcupid is full of "good girls" with a history. I see these girls years after year on the app. i download it for a day or two, tops maybe a week, then delete, same faces, same shit. For years they sit around like the blown out whores they are addicted to male attention.

Guarantee you've chatted with a girl who claimed to be single, but was actively getting fucked while you introduced yourself. Or she turned on OKC AFTER she had sex, just to feel extra validation.

These girls have had fuck buddies for years and "single" is just bait. I mean she's really gotta be protective of herself NOT to end up a trainwreck on those apps.

I still say your statement a shit. None of these women deserve more than "hey". I treat a dog nicer. At least a dog is loyal.
>>
>>17908935
Do you think there are all and only women like this?
I mean, the common opinion is that okcupid is "better" than tinder in terms of getting to know women, which are open for a relationship. Or am I just wrong?
And about which country are you speaking?
>>
>>17908959
USA, Miami, Florida

it's bs, women don't care about matches, I've been 85+% compatible with women there after filling out all the trivial bs questions, and she STILL didn't give a shit. It isn't worth the effort. Frankly, I feel a profile and photos should suffice myself, so I wouldn't disagree to that extent. But let's face it, it's a superficiality race.
>>
>>17908976
>it's bs, women don't care about matches, I've been 85+% compatible with women there after filling out all the trivial bs questions, and she STILL didn't give a shit.
I don't give a shit too. Don't know how "accurate" this number can be, but at the end it's still just a number. No number can tell me how good I can interact with a woman or how good a woman is compatible with me.
>It isn't worth the effort. Frankly, I feel a profile and photos should suffice myself, so I wouldn't disagree to that extent.
No, I do think there needs more than having the same opinions about some topics and to have interests/hobbies which are interesting or are compatible to the other person.
> But let's face it, it's a superficiality race.
Ya, no, I don't really know. It seems like this often, but then (rarely) there are also women which are honestly "interested" in okcupid and give it a try (just to see if it is possible to meet a 'decent human being').
What I criticize is, that 'some' women don't really 'give a chance' and a man (maybe only me?) doesn't have a certain chance to introduce himself, or it only needs one 'dumb sentence' and a woman loses totally her interest. But again, that could be only me and because of this uncertainty I'm asking what experience you found.
>>
i dont care about online dating because it's extremely unmotivating. i haven't had any matches in tinder in my local country. i've only had them when travelling to asia, by girls that are just curious about my nationality and probably white guy chasers. i didnt stay enough time to see if i could actually meet a partner or get laid from there tho

im guessing girls just swipe right to guys that are top notch attractive or very fit. i dont think im that ugly desu, i dont have that many great pics but its absurd that i got zero matches, i just uninstalled because it really fucked my self-steem even more
>>
>>17909035
No, I agree with you that people should be compatible. But I don't truly believe compatibility is a stability post, more like a lubricant that fascilitates your learning more about the person.

People in art schools are mostly compatible, and yet a 3D animator isn't a fashion design student. Same creativity, different purposes. One may be more conservative than the other, and yet they mirror daily routines.

I believe what truly makes succesful relationships is WANTING to be in that relationship, ultimately. Plenty of people don't even know what they want, factor that in. They're just figuring it out. And plenty become what they otherwise woupd not have, had they distanced themselves floor the abundance of opportunity offered by these apps.

I know because I feel disgusted with myself simply ATTEMPTING to attract mates here.
>>
I would usually message girls "How does this work? We're supposed to cuddle or something, right.." or some variation.

If they were interested they would respond. Then 2-3 more casual messages, then ask for the number, then text her the next day and set up a date for that week.

Online dating is fun for hookups, not the best for finding real gf's.
>>
That's the funny thing, I know at least 3 or 4 people who have met well matched partners on okcupid and they're dudes.

There's gotta be something that's being unsaid here. The whole numbers game thing is self-defeating - the more generic messages that girls get, the more likely they are to ignore them.

Just take a look at your own email inbox - if you're under a constant deluge of ads, they start looking the same and you just ignore them.
>>
you suck op
>>
>>17909267
It isn't an add though. It's an attempt to expand on a conversation. Adds are just there to get your money. If anything, whores are like adds.
>>
>>17909286
in fact, many women camwhore and advertise on okcupid, if not some old perv advertising his cam site
>>
>>17905060
I vote for this. If OP femanon was a little less judgmental (read cunt), she would know that prince charmings usually go for princesses, not for irritating, whining cunts like herself.

Disclaimer: The princesses turn into the same over time but thats a different matter.
>>
>>17905052
Read this very carefully

The only reason any guy has ever looked at you in any attractive fashion is because you're a filthy whore with a vagina that's clearly very easy to get into considering guys that talk to you only wanna fuck.

Do us a favor and post your nudes itt, then do society one by grabbing your nearest 12" dildo and shoving it down your throat

Thanks
>>
>>17908935
pff.. rereading my post.. ya know i feel stupid for speaking that way about a lot of those girls... just social conditioning..poor decisions that led to cruddy paths.. I dunno, I'm not better or worse than them. Just wish this dating apps were something else, something better.
>>
>>17904930
what's up. wanna dick pic?
>>
>>17908708
never been to /r9k/, i have a gf, i cant grow a beard, the only health/mental health problems i have are sleeping disorders and im a dental technician. Good job guessing everything wrong. But anyways
>projecting this hard
>>
>>17904930
>a greeting
>a conversation starter, and outreach to find common ground to relate on
>a forward declaration of what is wanted.

That is literally all three ways people traditionally speak to each other on meeting in the real world. What more do you want? In real life, maybe youre in a common place, doing a common thing, or witnessing a common event. That can be spoken about. Online you got nothing. Conversations will start stale. Im sorry.

you sound pretty dumb.
>>
>>17904930
I love to shitpost as much as the next guy but I never could understand people that get off to creating shitty bait that still attracts loads of replies.

>step 1 pretend to be girl
>step 2 doesn't matter
>step 3 still doesn't matter
>step 4 sit back and watch the shit fly
>>
>>17904930
https://youtu.be/tfsr-V-XnA0
This vid couldn't be any more relevant. OP is a troll, and you all fell for him hook line and sinker.
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