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How do I tell my roommate how difficult it is for me to socialize?

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How do I tell my roommate how difficult it is for me to socialize? They want to friends but don't know how incredibly difficult it is for me to make conversation. My social skills are just broken, they've never been good which is why I never had a close friend no matter how hard I tried, I just was not born mentally normal for social skills. This is the only reason I don't have a much more normal life, social skills are very important in society.
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>>17904286
ever heard of the phrase "fake it till you make it" ?
the first ones (in this case socializing with other people) will always be the hardest ones, just start talking to them it will help if you open topics that interest them like do they like sports ? say something general like "i like this team cause they are a complete package" or do they like video games say some game at you know they know , just start talking
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>>17904286

say waht you say here.
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>>17904319
I will confess this though most people don't care but my roommate deserves an explanation since they're forced to live with me.
>>17904312
That is exactly why it is a problem for me, finding a new thing to say just never came naturally for. For some reason I find ig so difficult, its more than "shyness" I can't do it.

It is something that must be done so often that i'm terrible at. I go to extremes so people do not notice this, very difficult.
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>>17904354
well i'll recommend practicing do things that will force you to interact with people like doing groceries or doing drive throughs , if you really wanna do it extreme i suggest acting workshops , a lot of people go there to cure shyness believe me
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>>17904312
If I told you some of the extremes I went through just to COMPENSATE for this, you'd be shocked!

I'm like an actor, I have no personality/character so I have to practice very hard just to have a conversation. It's easier with my psychologists who have figured out I have a severe social problem, maybe even aspergers
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>>17904372
>acting workshops
This is a coincidence b/c I just wrote this reply>>17904374

Thank you for your help but my best option is to tell everyone I meet of my problem and hope they get it, or else I am going to have a hard time.
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>>17904385
You should, but by doing so and not doing anything to fix it, you are placing the entire burden on them, and being unfair.

Your behavior is your own responsibility. Yeah, improving will be hard. But if you make them compensate for your problems without making any effort yourself, you're being an asshole.

Find a compromise. Tell them so they understand, but also work to improve it. You don't have to work yourself to death trying to change who you are, but you should at least meet them halfway.
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>>17904286
Just do it
Do it
I know it's hard
But do it anyways

You're young as fuck.
Imagine a 10 year old saying "I don't ride bicycles, I just can't"
You'd laugh at his silly young face.
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>>17904385
well in that case that would be a good way to go about it, but as >>17904421 said don't put the responsibility of dealing with it entirely , in my opinion you should do 3/4 of the work the other 1/4 is like how they respond to it
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>>17904286
Quit making excuses for being a pussy. You're trying to hide in your room like a 12 year old who brought home a bad report card and Dad just got home. Get out there and be a man. Quit being such a little faggot, alright op?
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>>17904544
i don't mean to burst your bubble dude , but social anxiety is real , just because you don't experience it , it doesn't mean it's not real
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>>17904554
Of course it is. I have it. Not allowing yourself to hide frlm your fears is the ONLY way to get over them. Every hello is a struggle, but you HAVE to do it.
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>>17904286
Quit waiting for life to get easier, and quit waiting for your social retardation to be acceptable. It isn't going to happen. You have to, have to, have to socialize. The only way to learn how to walk without falling on your face is to, unfortunately, fall on your face until you figure it out. That's the law of life. You're going to fail, you're going tk be embarrassed, and you're going to be exhausted, but think of it like a work-oit. The more tired you are the more your muscles are improving. The more exhausted you are the more your brain is improving.

In Lamen's terms, quit being a little bitch.
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>>17904453
That's what my dad did when I was 10 and told him I couldn't play sports
And then he made me
And you know what sends me into an immediate panic attack?
People asking me if I want to join them in a physical game.

Forcing this shit is a great way to worsen it.
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>>17904630
Half-assing is what how you do that

He should have forced you
Then kept forcing you till you liked it
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>>17904642
Never have children
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>>17904630
The big thing that's different about your current situation and that is the aspect of control.

When a decision like that is not under your controo, it makes anxiety worse.

When you are in control of the decision and the change and your actions, then it reduces anxiety and phobias.

That control is the key element. Exposing yourself slowly and deliberately is how fears and phobias are medically treated.
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>>17904642
people like you have broken me
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>>17904312
I'm not sure faking it is a good idea. People might think he's more social than he actually is then act weird when he regresses emotionally.
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>>17904286
Try approaching something like this

Find a situation you can talk for a while like you two are making your food on the kitchen or when eating, then go something, dude i wish i wasnt so shy, he would say something like why? or whats wrong? Then just say what comes to your mind tell him about your past and shit he will listen to you and emphathize, then just go like i wish i was more social and shit, he might make an effort to be more friendly to you and will understand you are shy, probably.
Thread posts: 21
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