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Anonymous
23, recently single and confused 2016-12-29 10:00:13 Post No. 17903701
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23, recently single and confused 2016-12-29 10:00:13 Post No. 17903701
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Alright so I'll keep this as short as I can, just need to hear some objective advice.
>Be me
>Broke up with gf of 3 years
>She was mentally ill, and used guilt, fear, and sex to control me
I can go into more detail if need be, but rest assured I thought the idea of a guy being abused/controlled by a woman was pussy bullshit until I started needing help
>It's been 3 months since I saw her/spoke to her
>Still think about her, everything from having someone to talk to, to the steamy, amazing sex we had
>Hard to force myself to remember how scared I was she'd attack my family if I didn't make her happy, buy her stuff and agree to marry within a year.
1 month ago
>Be in class
>Meet girl
>Cute, nice, we get along
>Hang out, have deep conversation
>Say goodnight without kissing or any moves whatsoever
>Get home and realize I don't want to repeat the hell I survived
>Realize a few of the things she said reminded me of ex
>Literally stop texting her, haven't spoken to her since
>Feel worse than I did in years, lonely
>I keep going with school and work but I don't look forward to anything now
>My heart races when I see a beautiful woman walking on the street
>I want what I never did in high school... One night stand
>Sex with no strings
>Fwb
>Realize it wouldn't work, I would get attached somehow
Now all I think about when I try to sleep is whatever guy my ex might be fucking now and how maybe just maybe I could get her back
"A hell you know..." (Forget the rest of the quote) but the gist is... It's easier to stay in a familiar hell than an unknown one
Flame, bait, troll, berate... My body is ready I guess
>>
Not gonna troll you bro. But you can't treat new women like your ex. That's setting shit up for failure.
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>>17903712
This. Not every woman is your ex, and if you don't break out of this mindset, the only one who suffers is you
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Okay you've got my attention, explain though, besides being codependent and mentally ill at the time we met, I would never treat anyone like that. If anything I've been going to counseling to make my failed relationship mean something by learning from my mistake and becoming healthy so I can meet someone healthy and not just so I'll feel better... Is that wrong?
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>>17903721
>>17903712
Honestly I think I may not have put this clearly, but she had started talking about a very similar checkered past that my ex had as well and taking about "needing someone" in a way I thought I'd done okay by recognizing I'm doing something wrong pursuing anyone right now
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>>17903729
That doesn't change anything. People are individuals, not all the same. You keep this up and keep looking for similarities between these girls and your ex, and you're going to be alone for a long time.
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It's only been a month and you were clearly emotionally dependent on each other
Give it another month and you'll feel half as shit as you do now, or less. Wait another month, repeat until you can form a relationship with someone else without fucking yourself up
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>>17903740
Fair point, but then should i stop looking for relationships at all though? That's kind of my point in that I just think I had a part in the shitty relationship I was in, even if it was passive what if I recreate it?
>>17903751
True okay
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