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My boyfriend is actually kind of a redneck/bogan

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I met my boyfriend at a gig in our town, it's only a medium sized town, mostly working class so it was pretty small and intimate enough that we spent a long time talking as well.

Anyway we both hit it off from there and to be honest the vibe I got from him was that he was a gentle soul, he's really well-read and he gets along with my friends well (they're all very "artsy" and can be a bit much, maybe too try hard).

But recently I met his friends, he says they're his oldest friends and his best friends. He was meeting up with them at a pub and I asked to come so it's kind of my own fault but when we got there it was really scummy, like everyone there was in their work wear still, lots of angry looking men and his friends were all in their gear too. He's the only one of them who went to university. When I seen the way they were interacting and drinking I couldn't believe this side of my boyfriend, he was so crude and all of a sudden his accent became so thick. Seeing him behave that way reminded me of like my Uncle or something.

Later we went home and everything was back to normal and I just dont understand how he can have these two sides, one so sweet and really so conscientious but also to be so vulgar and almost racist and he drank so much beer. The fact that these people are who he considers his best friends really scares me and I'm worried that I might be in for something terrible here... any advice?
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>>17902308
sounds like a neat guy OP
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>>17902308
Give it more time until you see the entire picture better and decide afterwards.

It doesn't sound too surprising though, if he grew up in an environment like that, it's bound that he'll act in a certain way with his friends from that environment, while being adjusted enough to interact with more normal people. These guys are probably his best friends due the time they've been friends, not because he got a totally similar mindstate.

Some of my acquaintances are into stuff like robberies, street fight and dealing with coke, others racist against a certain group (my best friend in HS was a Palestinian who hated Jews, I am half Jew), many are pretty crude sexist and quite a few struggled with secondary education ... on the other side are philosophy and math majors, retired violinist from St. Petersburg Orchestra, millionaires with own companies and trust fund babies, artists, aspiring writers and so on ... most guys from this group are basically the opposite of the first group but it still feels pretty easy to deal with them all without being someone like them.
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>>17902308
Sounds fine to me, I think you're overreacting.
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>>17902308

this is completly normal.

Every sane and normal guy needs time spent with his pack of buddies. If he doesnt have it he becomes girly leftard.
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>>17902308
>he's really well-read and he gets along with my friends well (they're all very "artsy" and can be a bit much, maybe too try hard).
kek 'artsy' people I met typically read a lot by their own standard and absorb too little by my standard.

>The fact that these people are who he considers his best friends really scares me

Yeah he's the real him around his friends, there's a good chance the vibe you got is some exterior he puts on when courting women. Or he has both sides, but in any case the side he showed in the company of his friends is always real.

Now is your decision. It's not like he did something bad to you, there's no need to worry until he shows other signs.
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>>17902308
>my bf gets along with everyone
>should I be worried?

???
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>>17902369
Spoken like a true redneck.
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Every person has multiple selves. There's the "you" who talks to strangers, the "you" who talks to the boss, the "you" who talks to your parents. We all have different personas that we use to get throughout the day.

Instead of being a cunt, look at this in a positive light: different social situations require different attitudes and mannerisms, and this gentleman can freely move back and forth between different settings. This shows. High level social intelligence and is the mark well rounded individual.
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>>17902382
Spoken like a true city-cuck.
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>>17902397
>accusing someone living in an area with more educated and wealthy people
How rude!
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>>17902416
>only more educated and wealthy people because the jews have all the money and education is a hypnotic scam
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>>17902308
My boyfriend has a bachelor and two masters. He loves theatre, art, literature and reads French literature. We have lovely discussions about economy, politics, philosophy. We have been together for 10 years, he's the most loving and considerate guy I've ever met and we have a wonderful relationship.
When he's around his best friends they play videogames, drink beer and insult everyone. He makes horribly sexist jokes and once called me completely drunk, at 3 AM because "my friend Tommy is getting his dick sucked from a whore and I was getting bored".
We had them over for dinner and I sat through a detailed description of several sexual encounters while serving the starters and pouring wine.
They all have at least a master degree, work as lobbyists or politicians and have a great career, and they still act like 13 year old kids when they are together.

It's him. Both sides.
Sure, if he was just the drunktard who plays pro evolution soccer till 5 AM I wouldn't enjoy his company as much. But it's perfectly cool to be a complete idiot sometimes.
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>>17902438
>two masters
LMAO
I hope they are courseworks and not in research. Otherwise that doesn't say anything positive about his intelligence at all.
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>>17902462
I guess that you have to be very stupid to have great academic results and get master degrees in good schools. I'm pretty content with my stupid boyfriend then.
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>>17902467
I think you just misread what I wrote. I never implied your man is stupid. So I just take it he really really likes graduate study and did courseworks.
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>>17902472
>Otherwise that doesn't say anything positive about his intelligence at all.
This seemed a bit insulting, to be fair. Maybe I misread, tho.

But - yes, he was a really good student. He had his bachelor at 21 and his 2nd master at 24. Graduated with honours every time. One of the masters was in research.
He's not very fond of graduate study and truly hated every second of the 2nd master (the research one), but it was in a very niche field and he knew it was useful to get the kind of job he wanted.
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>>17902308
So he's able to get along and relate with different kinds of people. That's a good skill to have in life. What are you so afraid of, honestly? If he treats you well, and makes an effort to make you feel comfortable when you're together, that's the "real him" as far as you're concerned.

Honestly, no offense meant, you're being a bit of a snob. It sounds like he makes an effort to get along with your friends, whereas you can't stand to be pushed out of your comfort zone.
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>>17902502
I'm curious what kind of job needs a master degree in research? Maybe you can start with that, surely it's more impressive than two masters haha.

I mean from my experience companies like Google, Netflix or Amazon if they want a guy with research background they would hire a PhD to sit in a room and work on a single algorithm all day.
If they want an engineer to work on large scale data, taking statistics and some optimization courses is enough, which means you just do courseworks plus programming experience, there's no need for research thesis.

>>Otherwise that doesn't say anything positive about his intelligence at all.
>This seemed a bit insulting, to be fair. Maybe I misread, tho.

I don't mean to be rude with my joke but many people outside of gradschool actually don't understand the point of a graduate research program which leads to the belief that attending more than one is better/more impressive, like professor X. Anyway I think it's a funny and harmless belief, but still mostly funny nonetheless.
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oh no your boyfriend has a different past than you.

My gf comes from a city of nearly 10million people and I come from a town of 10,000. It's an interesting dynamic.
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>>17902308
>almost racist
Ah, yes. The standard moral justification for your classism and disdain for poor people - you just care SO MUCH about poor people of a different color, you can't stand to associate with anyone who "almost" bad-mouths them. It certainly has nothing to do with your own unfair prejudices, because I'm sure you're much too educated to have those
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>>17902550
He works as a lobbyist - bachelor in international relationships and political science, first master was about european legislation, and the research master was about the specific group of interest he wanted to work for.
He graduated from the 2nd master in July and got hired as a policy consultant for a lobby in September.

Not going to find the cure for cancer, but I think that his utterly specific preparation paid off.
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>>17902569
>falling for the poor people are racist meme
Just like back in the third reich where the working class was blamed for the rise of the nazi party while it were mostly the rich and middle class who voted for them. Being poor doesn't equal with being a racist and most poor people are not any more racist than rich ones.

Now if they happen to be poor and racist, the disdain is perfectly justified. For the latter part obviously.
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>>17902580
You're a lucky girl then :)
Did he slay a lot of pussies in college?
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>>17902590
...that was my point
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>>17902308
he's not doing anything wrong bitch
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>>17902591
I don't think so.
We've been dating since I was 14 and he was 17, we lost our virginity to each other in high school and, as far as I know, never fucked anyone else.
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>>17902592
Eh, seemed like the opposite. My bad.
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>>17902308
>any advice?
Stop being such a useless snob cunt.
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It seems like you just experienced the polar opposite world from your college educated, artsy friend group. There's nothing wrong with the working class, and yes, they have completely different values, attitudes, and social filters than people from your world. It's honestly really cool that your boyfriend inherits from both... It's not all bad in the working class. They know how to work hard, have a good time, and many are complete family men when they step out of that bar. As long as that pub banter doesn't bleed over into your everyday relationship, it shouldn't be a problem.
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>>17902308
You sound like an over-privileged classist cunt.

His friends have shameful blue-collar jobs and don't even disguise their profession before going to a pub? The horror.

I'm pretty if one of these guys made fun of an immigrant's accent you would call him a racist, but it's perfectly fine for you to judge thembased on their thick accents.
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>>17902308
>lower class people are scum
you are a bad person, get that stick out of your ass
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>>17902308
>almost racist
My god the horror. We all wish you a swift recovery from such a harrowing experience
Thread posts: 33
Thread images: 2


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