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My gf broke up with me in early October because I was smothering

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My gf broke up with me in early October because I was smothering her and preventing her from living her life freely. We then had a fight because I tried to convince her friends to get her to talk with me. We haven't talked since.

I've been in therapy for several weeks and have started getting better. There's still a long way to go but we're making progress.

Could I/Should I try and talk with her and start another relationship? It wasn't perfect, but I loved her and I'm learning how to communicate and not be toxic.

Is there such thing as a second chance /adv/?
Move on and find someone new

How come?
I'm sorry to say anon, but it seems like this is the type of relationship that you might just need to let go... You can try to talk to her, not now obviously but maybe like a couple months from now, which sounds like a long time, but believe me. It'll help clear both your head, and her head, and help give you time to realize what you want to do.

Listen good though. If you're going to try again with this girl you need to not be petty, stop smothering her, women (as you know) hate that with a passion... Let her live how she wants, you also need to realize that she's not yours. she's her own person and free to make her own choices, DO. NOT. GIVE. HER. ADVICE. She broke up with you because she felt like you were controlling her, and giving off that vibe when you two aren't even together anymore is a bad sign... you also ABSOLUTELY need to make sure that she's actually willing and open to the idea of trying again... Because if she isn't, then trying to go after her will just be a giant waste of your time.

If she's willing to talk to you, then keep it neutral, no sappy bullshit, and no aggression towards her, keep the conversations to a minimum... Small talk, she's not your girlfriend, or even your friend anymore, she's an acquaintance, a random girl that you once knew, and the quicker you accept that. The better.

TL;DR - you can try again if she's down... But give it time, she's probably still hurt from your break up.
Because the relationship is tainted and no matter if You're able to make things work if there's ever a fight or whatever you or her will bring up the past. Also sounds like you need to work on your control issues. I very much doubt it was a smothering because women love attention and being with the men they love.
Damn bro search Corey Wayne on youtube and watch his Get your ex back videos, you have a lot of work to do.

1. Smothered your gf, huge no-no. "You must love in a way that the other person feels free." That means she wants to go to a party, you say Have a great time text me later. She wants to break up? You say I want to work things out, let me know if you change your mind. Take care! If you really love someone, you support them no matter what. if what they want doesn't suit what you want, you walk away.

2. Getting her friends to talk to her...seriously juvenile. It shows desperation, you're acting like a woman right now. be a man.

3. No, don't message her to get back together. It won't work. Simply send her a clean slate message, then go no contact. Text her "Hey, sorry I acted out emotionally. I was stressed out by a lot of things on top of the break up. I'm gonna take some time to work on myself, I hope everything is good." and that's it. You don't message her again, ever.

4. Yes, you are learning, but you have a long way to go.

Take this time to reinvent yourself. Focus on becoming a better version of yourself. Earn money, hang out with friends, enjoy your hobbies. Once you are so happy being single and enjoying your life that you wouldn't care if your ex wanted to get back together, THEN you are ready to start communicating with her again.

I recommend you try one more time in 30 days just to test the waters. Just wish her a marry Christmas or something.

Being clingy and desperate is a slippery slope. There's so many mistakes you will make that you have no idea are huge mistakes, such as texting multiple times, showing desperation, acting feminine, and so on.

Trust me, go no contact. You will make more mistakes if you keep chasing her. STOP CHASING HER. Men have an inner voice that constantly tries to convince you to do things to get what you want "oh no she hasn't texted me in a week, I gotta do something!"
Not really. Give up now.

Hurts to heat but I've heard it before, anon. Giving up is an option that I will probably have to take here. She isn't open to the idea of trying again at all, but I have reason to believe she may have the capacity to have that idea sometime.


Yeah, that's something I figured. It wasn't a bad fight, but a fight's a fight.


Probably some good advice anon. Stuff I wished I had learned earlier. I didn't act the right way dealing with this shit at all. Getting past it is something else. I was probably going to text her before Christmas or something to test the waters but I pissed this girl off. Probably won't get a response.

Also good advice. I just don't know if this was a minor thing that we'll forget about in half a year or if this will stick with us forever.
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