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How do I know if my bf still loves me? When we'r together

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How do I know if my bf still loves me?

When we'r together everything is fine, he never say he loves me, he's not that type, but he treats me very nice so I dont need to hear that type of things.

But when he goes to his hometown I miss him and there's nothing to make me feel loved, just the memories when we'r together, but just don't feel him, presently.

We'r together for 4y, he used to send me some sweet texts, musics, or good mornings messages etc in those situations.. but now that never happens.

I m feeling more and more hurt and maybe there's not any reason to feel that, but it happens anw.

Already talked to him about it but can't do it again, he says I'm always complaining about that shit and it has to stop.

I m feeling very stupid about this. Just don't know if it's normal or if he just lost the interest on me...
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>>17797426
Men never love women

They just tolerate you for sex
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>>17797426
Sounds like he is cheating on you. Did you check his facebook?
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>>17797435
of couse not.. why do you say that? please tell me
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>>17797435
I just checked his facebook about 2 y ago and I felt so guilty that I told him and never did that again..
now you r making me paranoid.
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>>17797431
are u serious?
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>>17797509
Lol, don't get too worked about over what this anon said. He has probably grown slightly complacent in the relationship. I'm sure he still loves you, but after so much time, just doesn't show it like he used to. I'd suggest talking to him about it and telling him you really miss that kind of behavior and that it meant a lot to you. Just a simple conversation should really help.
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>>17797474
>>17797509
If he's still the same guy you were dating he is still doing all those things. Just not with you.
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>>17797524
You don't understand.. I begging for your advice because already tried to talk to him, a thousand times, he just answer I m always complaining and end of conversation.

This situation is not going to change.. he was never the type of guy that gives you flowers, sweet names, tells you he loves you..but I love him anyway because he has his own way to demonstrate love as anyone else.

But at least, in the first year he used to do some romantic things if we were far away from each other like sending musics or sweet texts..

Just want to know how to deal with this and if this is normal, and what does it mean.. because it's making me feel sad and depressed.
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>>17797532
why are you so sure about that?
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>>17797562
>>17797562
>>17797562
>>17797562
You may just have to accept that it's how he is.
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>>17797570
My bf of 6 yrs cheated on me. It was really obvious after I found out.
I never thought he could do it but here I am 27 and lonely now :[.
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>>17797591
but your situation was similar than this?
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>>17797581
yes but the thing is, he wasn't like that, in the first year, when we were far away. so does that mean he doesn't love me anymore?
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>>17797609
Doesn't mean he doesn't love you, may just mean that he's complacent. We all get that way sometimes.
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highly doubt anything is wrong

it sounds like you're overthinking it
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>>17797621
maybe.. so I just have to get used to have a boyfriend that doesn't demonstrates love when he's far away right?
and should I do it? Use to send him morning texts and cute things during the day.. should I stop it?
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>>17797513
yes, love is different for men than it is for women. eventually after enough time women will grind men down with sex and then men will love their woman.

until that happens, best case scenario is he enjoys your company. most likely scenario is that he is tolerating you because you are willing to have sex with him
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OP, it's not normal and it's not healthy for you to be with someone that's blatantly ignoring your emotional needs. He's taking you for granted and he's not caring that you're being hurt by his behavior. The fact that he's ignoring you and just saying you're complaining, when you are genuinely feeling hurt is not good. Don't just suck it up, because your feelings matter too.
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OP I was once in your position. My guy told me when I talked to him about it that he still loved me to death, but showing love like the way he used to rarely popped in his head. He made effort to show me love after our talk.

Your guy is probably similar like my guy, but there is something fundamentally wrong with your relationship if he is ignoring your needs like that.
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OP Break up with him. Don't be with someone who is good to you during courting phase and drops all romantic gestures after. Find someone who has undying love. He needs to understand relationships require effort and >>17797669
naield it.
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OP, it will be hard to accept that the way he is isn't normal or healthy after being with him for as long as you've been. But, you must move on. You are your own person, you don't need him. I know you still love him, but it's apparent that he's showing more and more that he doesn't love you as much as you love him, and that means you need to let go of him as a lover if you want to be a happier person because I can tell you right now that because you're giving him more love than he is giving to you, you're just going to be more and more miserable in the future if you keep being with him.
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>>17797712
I cant break up because I love him..

There's anything I can do to have sweet texts and sweet names and that cheesy stuff or I just get used to this?

Should I stop calling him and sending him sweet messages?

The question is if I ask him if he loves me he answers yes for sure , so I don't understand this
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I just wanted to express my love without any afraid of being unanswered, call sweet names, make surprises, give flowers, and receive all of that too..

But that's so selfish that I almost hate me for thinking that.
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OP, if you're putting more effort into loving him than he is putting effort into loving you, it's not healthy. He can say he loves you, but it doesn't mean he's saying he loves you as much as you love him.
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It's not selfish to love someone and want to be loved the same. It's normal, and it's okay to want to love and be loved the same way.
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>>17797762
he tell me he loves me more than I love him.. he also tells me I wanted to be with other guys, when I just have eyes for him.

Really don't know what to do...
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>>17797768
When I asked him if he loves me, he just answer that he loves me but it's stupid for me to ask him that, that he doesnt have to say it because I ask. I getting crazy and I like him so much.

Maybe I m the problem, I screwed up my relationship so now he doesn't even want to tell me he likes, maybe he doesn't even like anymore .

Sorry about all of this, just don't have anyone to talk about this and really need an imparcial opinion
>>
>he tells you he loves you more than you love him
>he barely shows he loves you when you clearly show you love him and he ignores you
>he accuses you of wanting other guys and doesn't trust you

OP, if you want to ever be a happy person, you need to drop this asshole. He's manipulating you. Even if he may not be doing it on purpose, the fact of the matter is that he's manipulating you into feeling like your happiness doesn't matter when it fucking does. Get out, because if you don't, you're going to spiral down a destructive path that will hurt you more and more and I say this because I've been in that position where my bf made me feel like my feelings didn't matter.
He's not good for you, leave him to save yourself the hurt. It'll be okay. It'll be scary leaving him because you'll feel lonely, but keep your friends close to you for support when you do.
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OP, you're not the problem. He is the problem, and you're just doing your best to be the best lover you can be for him. He doesn't deserve you.
You're trying so fucking hard, and he doesn't appreciate any of it. The fact that he's saying it's stupid for you to be asking him is a red flag that he's being an asshole and an insensitive one at that.
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>>17797793

I got your point thank you.

But he's so sweet when he is with me, I never felt something like that.. we we'r together it's perfect. I don't have any reason to break up with him, we sleep together almost every night.

He comes at night even if it's rain and cold just to sleep and watch a movie with me.. this cannot be from a guy who doesn't feel anything in this relationship..

Just wanted to know a way to make him miss me and to be kind and romantic even at distance again..

This is so strange.
>>
Maybe you are all right and I m being blind.

But also maybe I m doing something wrong, maybe he just wants more space since we are together almost everyday..

Is it any way to make a guy fall in love, like it was the first time?
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OP, abusers don't stop being abusers when they're not being mean. Just because he does sweet things does NOT make up for the awful things he does when you're not together.
You said it yourself, he accuses you of wanting other men, he calls you stupid for asking if he loves you, he stops showing any effort that he cares when you guys aren't together, he ignores that he's hurting your feelings and making you feel like your feelings don't matter.

Another thing that abusers tend to do is say that they love their partner so much and try to make their victim think that they're going to change or be nice, only to hurt the victim again. When he's telling you he loves you after hurting you, it's him trying to keep you with him so he can hurt you again. It's a cycle and you've got to be the one that breaks that cycle.
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There's no way to make a guy fall in love the first time because the first time someone falls in love with you means that they're going to learn new things about you; in this case, I guarantee you it's not going to happen because of who this person is. It doesn't matter if he wants space or not because he's hurting you and emotionally abusing you. The fact that he doesn't care that he's hurting you shows he's not going to change.
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But there's a lot of guys who love their girlfriends and don't tell them they love them even if they love them right?

There's also a lot of guys that love their girlfriends but also don't send them sweet text messages or flowers or cheesy things right?

It depends on the person right?
I m genuinely asking..
>>
While it's true that there are people in relationships that don't tell each other 'I love you' very often, it's because it's mutually understood by both people that they love each other that it doesn't need to be said.
However, in your case, with what you've told us, this guy just doesn't say it because he's a fuck who seems to only be saying that to keep you around so he's not lonely but at the same time is neglecting your emotional needs like a total dick and ridiculing you for it.
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The difference is:
People that don't say 'i love you' show that they love each other with their actions, and it doesn't need to be said.

Your situation is that he doesn't say 'i love you' because he expects you to stay with him even though he doesn't show that he loves you, even though you're showing it. He's not doing his part.
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Also, if you're telling him the advice you're getting on here, he's just going to change his tactics around it so he can keep on hurting you. Take my advice: Stop seeing this guy, he's hurting you, and it'll only get worse if you stay with him. The fact that he's making you feel like your feelings are not important is proof enough.
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>>17797833

He shows love when he's with me. If I m sick he's there, if I m sad he's there, he always come to my house, and ask me to go to his house just to sleep together, watch a movie, study, play something, or just be together, with or without sex, doesn't matter.
In those situations I see love.

He just doesn't show if he's out on the weekend or vacations, and after 2 years like this, I m getting my limit, think I could deal with this but really miss sweet and cheesy things...this may sound ridiculous but it s strange to have a 4y boyfriend and never had love letter, or a flower, what a faggot am I.. maybe I m just being to ridiculous.

But thank you, I really need to rethink my attitude with him and with myself
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Just remember: Abusers show 'love' to keep their victims close so they don't leave.
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>>17797850
and if he's really an abuser (which I don't think it's true), would be any way to change that and being with him at the same time?
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He's taking you for granted.

Keep your mind busy and try to forget about him. He's the one who has to remember now, you also deserve those "cheesy things", every woman likes it and don't see you happy without it. You seem love him enough to deserve it too.

He has to worry about that that if he really loves you, even if he doesn't understand it. The fact is, you are hurt, sweet things make you smile and they don't cost anything and they also is really important if he wants to make you feel special. It's in his hands now.
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>haven't been to /adv/ in a while
>gf has made a thread
>some faggot is thinking he can samefag his way into sabotaging the relationship

You don't know even half of the story. Just fuck off loser.
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>>17797609
>In the first year

Are you dense? That's the fucking honeymoon phase, of course he's gonna do all those sweet things. Look, take it from someone who got dumped because of the "way I was acting" and how "I wasn't the same anymore", he loves you. He isn't good at showing it. Fucking hell.
Thread posts: 44
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