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Alcohol

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I get drunk in front of my 8 year old son.
Is that bad? Or character forming?
He can always blame me for all the fuckups in his life... and I'm ok with that.
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>>17581642
it won't be the fuckups in his life, it will his entire life. His life will be one big fuck up and he will never amount to anything and 40 years from now he'll be get drunk in front of his 8 year old
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>>17581656

I think he'll do better than a 4channer. How not to?
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>>17581642

Once is not an issue

Just don't make a habit of it, you change personality while drunk and it is very uncomfortable and confusing for a child

> son of alcoholic here
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>>17581682
you turned out well
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>>17581642
>He can always blame me for all the fuckups in his life... and I'm ok with that.
father of the century. wishing his son to have problems. [cue applause]
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>>17581642
Yes. Stop it. Put him to bed and *then* get drunk.
For fuck's sake.
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>>17581709
wishing? logic is alien to you.
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>>17581711
ok, I'm going for "character forming"
Cause i've been right before. He is a friggin happy kid.
In spite of a mother dying of cancer over a 15 month period. So, I might be a fuck up, but I know this world is friggin chaos and sick is the only way...
PD: thanks 4chan
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>>17581642
My dad got drunk, sometimes to the point of vomiting, nearly everyday.

I turned out just fine.
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>>17581730
there you go!...
he knows what I do is wrong.
and I don't overdo it. I'm just a ..erm obviously "cautionary tale"
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>>17581728
A kid wants to respect his dad. Don't let him see you drunk.
Just get drunk after he goes to bed, if you need to. Or send him to Grandma's.
I'm so sorry about his mom. Your wife?
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>>17581739
Only downside is I can't drink without being ashamed of myself. Still love my dad though, I just know he has his problems like everyone else.
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>>17581742
Indeed. A., whatever. Life is too crazy. Morals change every week.
In fact... the only thing I'm proud is, my kid is a happy kid... and I , dare I say ... was very invested in and involved in.
It's complicated.
>>
Why turn to this shit-tier drug? It will destroy your body and mind. Get some help, or better drugs.
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>>17581754
Good for you. A happy kid is a healthy kid.
Just love him and feed him, he'll turn out ok.
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>>17581759
I agree... but no "connections"
and it may be shit tier... but it's not thaaaaaaat bad
Just destroys your life. If you're "functional" , you can hold a job.
but that is offtopic
I think having an alcoholic parent turns you off alcohol.
Not that it's good. Just being real here.
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>>17581773
You're his *only parent*! Pull it together, man! He needs you even more now!!
Don't get drunk! Play with him. Read to him. Take him camping. Take him to the movies. He'll be grown before you know it.
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>>17581773
>I think having an alcoholic parent turns you off alcohol.
for some people it does. for others, it makes it more likely that they will become alcoholics themselves. do your research please.
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>>17581716
he's expecting his kid to have fuckups.
Piece of shit should get out of his son's life.
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>>17581780
>You're his only parent
This anon has a point though, you can't fuck around when you're all he has left to rely on.
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>>17581785
"expecting" ?
is anyone here without fuckups?
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>>17581642
>I get drunk in front of my 8 year old son.
You're a cunt
>Is that bad? Or character forming?
It is bad, technically everything is character forming, the question is what sort of character are you helping him become?
>He can always blame me for all the fuckups in his life... and I'm ok with that.
You are giving your son a pre written victim statement to blame for everything that goes wrong in his life.

How do I know this? My parents valued alcohol over spending time with me.

Your son will grow up resenting you because you had to drink when you spent time with him.
Your son will fall behind in his future interpersonal relationships because he has no idea what a healthy relationship looks like.
Your son will grow up thinking that getting cunted is normal.
Your son will be embarrassed to have any friends around if he realises you are a fuck up.
Your son will spend his developing years doing nothing to better himself because wasting his life and getting drunk would be deemed to normal.
Your son will grow up wishing he had a relationship with you like others kids have with their parents.

I'm 27 and still trying to undo the shit that came with my parents getting drunk a lot, relationships are difficult to get into, not many people can relate to your upbringing and those who can are damaged too.
I fell behind in school because my parents couldn't look after themselves or decided I would gain more from listening to drunk ramblings than reading my workbooks, I couldn't go on school trips half of the time because my dad felt decadent spending what money he somehow accumulated on expensive whiskey that didn't last.
I had to hear from my friends that their parents wouldn't have me over their house because they didn't want them going to my house and seeing what I saw.

You are creating an issue that will repeat with his kids and their kids after them.
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>>17581828

Oh how this hits home

OP take heed of this
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>>17581828
you are totally validating my initial statement.
thank you.
:-)
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>>17581828
oh, by the way... did I mention he's uncommonly happy ? and smart?
go figure...
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>>17581911
He's 8. Of course he's happy.
He has a good start. Don't fuck him up.
(This, by the way is my main goal as a parent: just don't fuck the kid up.)
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>>17581682
>you change personality while drunk and it is very uncomfortable and confusing for a child
This, OP.
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>>17581901
Giving him a pre written victim statement isn't a good thing, you are basically fucking him up and absolving him of the things he does have control over.

>>17581911
He is 8, kids are usually happy, he doesn't have to compete in school or get good grades, you are trying to justify your own poor choices.
I'm telling you that you are doing the wrong thing and that the occasional anecdote doesn't mean he will turn out well.

I'm 27, I'm an adult, I grew up with it, I thought I turned out alright until I realised how unprepared I was for relationships and that my friends were all in similar situations to me (and pretty fucked up because of it), one day I realised (age 25) that my relationships had been toxic, I stayed with a girl who got uncontrollably drunk for 5 years and had miscarriages because she drank too much and fell over so much, I got myself into trouble because I didn't think there was a problem with drinking at every social outing, I struggled to function in my part time work, I found it difficult to wake up in time for full time jobs because I couldn't get the smell of booze off my breath or prepare for work the night before.

I became self aware when my one normal friend needed to move in with me because of his financial situation and he had to teach me to be an adult, he took my booze off me, he told me to save money and that getting fucked up isn't healthy or normal, he was nearly in tears when I told him about my relationships, even to this day while I know my parents drinking was bad, it still seems sort of normal to me.

You are fucking over your son, you selfish cunt.
Stop drinking and invest in your son rather than letting him think that becoming a drunken degenerate who can't handle every day life is normal.
>>
If you really don't care then why did you even make this thread?
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>>17582026

My ... very specific point is... what happens to children of "functional" alcoholics.

I'm willing to go either way, except I'm just ignoring frases like "piece of shit" or "selfish cunt" ... because believe me... I've seen enough to know I am NOT the problem this world has my friend.
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>>17582212
a good point.
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>>17582235
>"functional" alcoholics.
The problem is whether you actually are "functional", you might think you are, but you probably aren't.

You seem to think my upbringing is ok, but if you are putting alcohol before raising your kid properly, you aren't a functional alcoholic.

You might not be the problem that the world has, but you certainly are on track for adding to them, you might not be beheading people who disagree with you, you might not be bombing cities and you might not exploiting anyone, but you are fucking up your son's future.

Because of that, because you tell yourself it isn't THAT bad, because you think you can make the best of your self inflicted situation, you are a piece of shit, you are a selfish cunt who would rather drink than do what is right by your kid, and the worst bit is that it takes literally no effort to NOT buy booze and consume it.

What happens to the kids of "functional alcoholics"?
See my post >>17581828

My parents thought they were functional, I thought I was when I was struggling to get to work or iron my clothes, you might tell yourself "I'm not as bad as them", but you are, and you are worse for thinking it isn't bad simply because it could be worse.
Your issue will only get worse as well as you gradually become more and more dependent on alcohol, get professional help and stop drinking, the world doesn't need more people like me or those I grew up with.
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>>17582235
"Functioning" alcoholics are a myth. You're his father, the first and only man obligated to teach him how to live and be a man. And you get drunk in front of him on the regular
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>>17582265
I'll just say , my parents didn't drink or do drugs, and fucked me up anyway.
So .... I'm facing reality here. My habit is decades old.
Can my kid get over it, if I function?
You can call me names all over the thesaurus.
I don't give a royal fuck about that.
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>>17581642

Don't listen to all these sheltered, helicopter parented little bitches. As long as you're not abusive, fill your boots. Alcohol is a part of adult life, so show the kid its a part of life that can be enjoyed regularly and in moderation when they're an adult

If you turn it into this big scary thing children must never see, they either turn out to be sheltered little spergs forever resenting you for fucking up their perception of alcohol, a vital social lubricant and so leaving them with few friends, or having them go the other way and turning into actual alcoholics.
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>>17582320
Look. Just keep it in check.
Spend the day with the kid, and working He is your main focus sun-up to sundown Breakfast, school, homework, fun, dinner, bath. Put him to bed at 7:30 if you have to. He'll be healthier for it.
Then, and only then, indulge your vice(s). Of course this world is a hard place, and you need some softness.
But the kid should come first, no matter what, and he needs a sober, available dad. He needs to be able to come to you with his troubles and shit.
Just divvy up your life like this. Many parents do, and it is entirely sustainable.
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>>17582265

No, Zog-engineered white genocide and neoliberal economics are fucking up his son's future, these things call for dranking.
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>>17581709
>>17581785

Oh look, two people who don't have kids.
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>>17581642
My mom got drunk in front of me a lot. She wasn't an alcoholic or a bad parent by any means but there were some nights where I remember thinking "why is mom acting so stupid and not listening" and sometimes she'd be mean. I don't know, it affected me enough that I'd vow to never act like that in front of my child when he's small and doesn't have the life experience to contextualize what's happening.

It all depends on how you act, though. My dad drinks almost as much as my mom, but I have never, ever seen him drunk. He has always been the same father to me, even after a bottle of wine. Whereas mom will get kind of slurry and bratty, dad keeps his cool and knows moderation. The latter was a much better influence for me.
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>>17581773
I'm the daughter of a single parent who happens to be an alcoholic. I mean sure, I turned out okay. I go to college, I have a job for when I go back home, and I'm relatively mature and in a healthy relationship.
Other than that, I do have pretty horrendous anxiety. Because my mom was an alcoholic and she was the only one I had, I developed a pretty severe fear of death and her dying.
I haven't turned to alcohol and I never will, but I have a really unhealthy view of myself and there's a lot that I feel that I'm lacking.
My mom loves me and fed me (for the most part) but there's things about me that came about because of her addiction. I felt really isolated.
Don't do this to your kid, please.
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