Would the death of child destroy the mother's life as well?

>>17580927
nobody ever gets over losing a child, no matter how many children you have

A parent will always care about a child they have lost, and it forever holds a restrain on them. Don't do it.

Yes, she'd get over it the same as anyone gets over the death of a close family member. In time. She won't be "okay" with it, but she'll move on.

After all, she still has four other kids that need her.

>>17580935
What does "getting over" mean?

Is it constant depression?
Does the heartache go away after some time?
I mean a mother could still have lot's of joy if there are grandchildren and her life is in order right?

>>17580945
From my experience some people get depressed. So depressed that they pull away from everyone and nothing makes it better. Whole families fall apart because one person never moves on and the other kids have fucked up lives because the of the death

My oldest brother killed himself when when he was a teenager,and my mom has never gotten over it. She blames herself and thinks things like if she had never yelled at him he would not have done it. Now she's addicted to prescription drugs and the like all in the hope of making the pain stop. If it hadn't been for my dad, I don't know where she would be right now.

It's been one long nightmare for all of us

>>17580967>>17580966
>17580966

okay..that was informative..
thanks

>>17580927
Both my grandmother lost their children - both lost their first son.
My dad's mom lost him when he was 9.
She was destroyed by it. Right before she died, the last thing she said was "I hope he's waiting for me in heaven". Both me and my dad grew up in the shadow of this dead kid.
My mom's mom lost him when he was 34, a week before I was born. She still cries for him and talks about him every day. She often says that the only reason why she is alive is because I was born a week after and she had a reason to not let herself die.

If you're thinking about killing yourself - there is literally nothing more destructive for a family than losing a loved one to suicide. I get that sometimes you have nothing to live for, but if they matter for you seek psychological help and get over it for them. Really.

I have one child.
If he died, I would either:
>kill myself
>be a hermit forever

>>17580983
bearing with it for the sake of her is a damn hard job though.
It get's harder and harder with every day,week,month and year

There's a reason why there are words for kids without parents (orphan) and spouse without the partner (widow/er), but none for a parent who lost a child.

Losing a child is unnatural, it's not meant to happen.

>Could she get over loosing a child better then, or would it then still mess her up for the rest of her life?
unless she got some psychological issue, losing a child will scar a mother (and father, too) for the rest of her life, no matter how many children she got.

>>17580999
That's why you get professional help like that Anon said. Short term just suck it up and force yourself to carry on, but while you're doing that, take steps to get the help you need. See a psychiatrist or your GP for medication to treat your depression (or whatever the issue is) and a psychologist to learn how to work through it.

www.getselfhelp.co.uk
http://slatestarcodex.com/2014/06/16/things-that-sometimes-help-if-youre-depressed/
http://www.llttf.com/
I've found these websites have been helpful for me, maybe they'll be of use to you as well. Another thing that should help with depression is exercise, any kind and being in light at levels of 1000 lux or more (sunlight, essentially).

>>17580999
Ask for help OP.
Seek a doctor, a therapist, talk to your loved ones. Do not keep it to yourself. If you can't bear it alone, try to bear it with someone else.
It gets better, I promise.
If you kill yourself you don't end your pain, you just pass it on to someone else. I lost a dear friend to suicide, and it really destroyed my life and the life of everyone who was close to him. I hope he found peace, but he made us go through hell.

>>17581020
>>17581022

thanks guys for the pep talk.
I've been on antidepressants for a long time(not anymore though)..they didn't help that much.
Just made it sort of bearable.
I was thinking about going to a Psychiatrist again this week.
I'll get (hydro) Morphine from a friend in a couple of days.
Maybe those things can pull me through for a few months until the circumstances of my life might improve slightly

Those shitty feelings are nothing new to me.
It has been a long time and it hasn't been improving in the average.
It rather got worse.

>>17581022
I don't have any loved ones.
The only person that is close to me is my mom.
But I'm not going to talk with her about those things.
I just call her once a day and she tells me what's up with my nephews and my dog.

Gives me a few minutes of distraction at least

>>17581059

Morphine might numb you, but will work against you in the long run.

Do you see a therapist?

>>17581059
Not all antidepressants are equally effective for different people. If your medication wasn't helping you, you should talk to your doctor about it and see about trying to increase dosage, get on new medication, or try different combinations of medication. Antidepressants really are only half the work though, they make things good enough for you to work on unlearning depressive thought patterns with a psychologist. But you do still need to unlearn them and learn the new, better habits.

>>17581088
Yeah, I'm not planning on taking them forever.
Just until they run out..that is probably before I get addicted
They are also sort of my exit strategy.
If I'm really going through with it at least they take the fear away.


In the past I did see a therapist

I'm not that convinced about their potential anymore though.
There is very little they can(could) tell me that I can't find out myself or already know.

And they can't do anything to change the circumstances of my life

>>17581090
I tried all of them..like I said. They make it bearable but in the long run I feel like there is not a happy life in sight for me.
No matter how they work or how much I excercise

Anyway I thank you all for your advice..I'll consider all the things you said.

My uncle died when he was 13, well before I was born. My grandmother never got over it. I, being the next boy to be born after his death, was named after him, and my grandmother has told me pretty explicitly that she believes than I am her dead son reincarnated.