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Starting to feel misanthropic

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I keep having people in my personal life who are exploitative. I have been getting rid of them, or they just leave, but it's still a shame. Is anybody out there sensitive, considerate, and unwilling to be false for the sake of manipulation? Hopefully everyone I see getting along, with their partners for instance, is not manufacturing kindness to recieve the benefits. I'm not Christian or conservative, but I grew up with old fashioned values where everyone is a person. Most other people I have encountered prefer addictions and conflicts to any kind of cooperation or love.

Are there fair, considerate people out there, or should I get ready to search for a tiny minority? Is this a way that young white people are? Should I try to be around different ethnicities? I know a good chunk of white America is in decline. Maybe different cultures would be less like this.
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>>17580420
>Hopefully everyone I see getting along, with their partners for instance, is not manufacturing kindness to recieve the benefits

They are.
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>>17580420
>Is anybody out there sensitive, considerate, and unwilling to be false for the sake of manipulation?
Yes. I don't really know what advice I can give, other than to keep pushing assholes away and to keep looking.

>Are there fair, considerate people out there, or should I get ready to search for a tiny minority?
I don't think they're THAT small of a minority. Actually, I suspect a lot of it boils down to the environment people spend time in, is there some common thread to where you are meeting these people?
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>>17580638
A couple of ideas are coming together here. I think the common thread between all these people is that they perceive themselves as unsuccessful. That's kind of why I was talking about getting away from white people (I'm white), who probably have a higher standard on average for what success is. I kind of want to barbeque with some bros and have a "naïve" girlfriend who still believes in love that doesn't involve unfair manipulation.

I guess this problem can be solved by becoming more successful myself, and/or associating with a dramatically different kind of a person. The issue is that being successful is going to take a lot of time (still looking to fund school while juggling rent), and that I don't know how to communicate with people I'm not used to being around.

>I don't really know what advice to give, other than to keep pushing assholes away and to keep looking.
I get this fear that way too many people are asshole's in disguise, and that the actual number of people who stay emotionally sensitive into adulthood is miniscule. Maybe it is an irrational fear? I don't know.
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>>17580692
why'd I put an apostrophe on assholes?
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I just had someone say that they hated me because I accused them of lying when they were actually lying. I was born into misanthropy.
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>>17581004
The most positive thing I can think of is that some people are going up and other people are going down, and the ones going down will take you down. It's often not something they do with intention.

Yeah, let's go with that.
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>>17580692

Part of it is environment and the type of people you feel comfortable around. You have high standards for yourself and are secretly an introvert although you pass as a social person.

Because you have high standards you feel drained to be around those that are more driven and like minded to yourself. You seek out self appointed "losers" as a way to unwind, because you can relax in a way around them. You can chill. You can feel like you are ahead in this world when you are always around people that are perpetually behind.

Am I getting close?
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>>17580692

Don't be so judgemental.

Pretty much everybody is self serving and ego driven. You are too. You just don't realize that others perceive you as an entitled smugly superior asshole, well maybe the people that know you REALLY well.

Most people are also capable of empathy and compassion but are lost in this world too. Many fake it until they make it, or perhaps were taught how to be considerate or mannerly and that is all they know. Either way, I think having dignity is somewhat about how we treat others.

Poverty mindsets play against people. People that grow up in poverty become more inwardly focused and selfish. Being poor is one thing, being in poverty is a mindset.
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>>17581119
Yeah, except it's not on purpose anymore. I don't see the group of non- "losers" telling me I can join them. They don't want anything from me.

I would replace the word introvert with socially withdrawn. Anyway, that was a very good read.

Do you have any advice that can help me in the short term? I'm getting discouraged from meeting people, and discouraged from being totally alone.
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>>17581152
People automatically think that judgement is some negative tool like a machinegun, when maybe it is more like a scalpel or something. If I was okay with myself from the time I was born, I'd be pissing and shitting in the pants my mom put on me.
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>>17581188

Shame can be a good thing SOMETIMES.

To your scalpel analogy, I would say that it highly depends on the authority and skill of the person wielding the instrument.

Assuming you really are an authority on a matter and choose to use your judgement against somebody, think instead about where you might most need some surgical precision.

In other words, Judge yourself MORE, and Empathise with others MORE. Not the opposite.
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>>17581199
You have to acknowledge that many people just don't know how to act, hurting themselves and those around them. No amount of empathy or good behavior changes them. Often it enables them.
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There are definitely people like mentioned in OP's post, you just have to imagine how tiring the world can become after trying and trying to much, only to get slapped for doing so.

Yes, we are out there. Probably withdrawn just as much as any other robot and almost unwilling to help anymore. For the most part, people dont want it and the people who do get silenced.

Look at how quickly people are to attack those who are only trying to express their pain on here. So long have we been taught to treat others as though their problems are their own fault that we've forgotten what it means to be people; to be human. If someone becomes a little negative, there's always that loud crowd of people that will jump to label them as "cynical" and then utter something soulless like, "that's why no one wants to be around you".

First off, who would want to be around anyone who talks like THAT, and second, is that supposed to help? People turn into defensive jerks when we tell them what they're doing wrong and even attempt playing the victim card. "That's a little harsh". No, what you've been doing and how youve been treating the unfortunate is harsh.

If you're one of these people, please rethink your life.
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>>17581317
It sounds like many of us
>>17581199
>>17580420

are thinking of specific scenarios, but prefer to generalize. generalizing might help. maybe it will help us see what we need to do differently, to solve our perpetual conflict with other people.
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>>17580692
Would you manipulate for love?
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>>17581422
there's always a situation where someone would lie, murder, steal, whatever. but to answer your question I am a very honest person. I don't keep anything from people.
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>>17581439
So the answer is yes.

So basically you are exactly like the people you complain about.

In other words, you are a hypocrite.
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>>17581448
just go home, I'm laughing at you
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I find it hard to accept anyone else as a person. You're looking in the wrong part of the internet.
Thread posts: 20
Thread images: 1


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