I worry I may of dedicated my entire life to something I may

Buuummmp

Not sure what advice you are seeking. You gave a narrative but didn't ask anything.

>>17572156
Just how I should be handling this situation I guess

i did the same thing. im out of college now, worked in the field i studied for a couple years, then after a combo of not being able to get enough work and feeling extremely disenchanted i said fuck it. i havent quit doing what i was doing before, i still do it in my free time on my own terms. but for work i drive trucks now.

idk if you would use the passionate to describe how you felt about programming, but i think the problem with going into a field youre passionate about is that turning it into work can make it really suck. its not something you get to do anymore, its something you have to do.

but its not the end of the world, everything is fine. there are lots of ways to make money.

>>17572293
Tbh I could just be a lazy fuck

>>17571764

>I feel like I have to force myself to do it all and it kinda feels like a chore

You mean it feels like work? That's what you're training yourself for. You're developing a very marketable skill, I guess you're saying you have some kind of talent for it, so I think you should stick with it at least long enough to finish your degree.

There's no job in the world that's going to be pure enjoyment all the time. Work feels like work, most of the time. But you'll hate this a lot less than manual labor, or retail, or anything like that

>>17571764
I think, that you need a vacation(1-2 weeks). For me it looks like you are on the edge of burning out. So if you can, make a pause, do it