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university girls

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Thread replies: 41
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Hey guys, I just got out of a 1 year relationship (not that long I know) and have already become pretty damn rusty with human interaction in the meantime. It's absolutely amazing how quickly you can lose social skills. Gonna try to avoid making this a "how do I get laid" thread, but I'd be lying if that wasn't part of the big picture.

Anyways, the most confusing of all interactions is approaching women (or making friends in general) on campus. Even my first day there, a majority of people seem to have already created social circles. I really wanna improve my skill at talking with women, but don't know where to start. What are some general guidelines on approaching those bunnies? What's some good openers to use?
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Are you asking how to make friends, or how to talk to women? Because you're asking one thing and giving details more relevant to the other.
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>>17566022
I've found that switching seats often and doing small talk that's lesson related during breaks is the best way to start.

Then I usually ask people about studying together (never be pushy here, m8) and whenever/if they say yes, I move to general small talk during breaks from the studying.

Repeat for 3 to 4 times, by then it's cool to ask to hang out.
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>I just got out of a 1 year relationship (not that long I know)
>tfw your longest relationship was 5 months
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>>17566033
Primary focus of my question is women related
>>17566038
Solid advice man, but before that I'm more stuck up on the approach itself. Will I make a girl uncomfortable sitting next to her with tons of other empty seats nearby?
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>>17566049
Head up brother. I actually consider the 1 year long, I just know plenty of people here have like 5 years or more
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>>17566058
>Will I make a girl uncomfortable sitting next to her with tons of other empty seats nearby?
I'd definitely think the guy was just trying to get in my pants if he did that.
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>>17566049
>tfw your longest relationship was 0 months, 0 days, 0 hours and 0 minutes
>because you've never been in a relationship
Fuck you, faggot
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>>17566058
I usually take a random seat if I'm early or what's available if I'm late, so I don't spook the poor fella next to me. Granted, this means you're not sitting next to a girl 100% of the time, but at least you won't get reactions such as
>>17566063
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>>17566063
The biggest joke to me as i got older was when i realized women think of sex more than men lmao. Personal insecurity or would your lady peers feel the same?

>wow that guy sat next to me he just wants my sugar walls
> *opens tumblr* WHY WON'T BOYS TALK TO ME
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>>17566074
Yeah, so what I'm getting is approaching in class is extremely unnatural in general. It requires very specific circumstance and logistics...
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>>17566082
>Personal insecurity or would your lady peers feel the same?
Probably all the same, since the vast majority of people don't sit next to strangers when there are other seats available.

>wow that guy sat next to me he just wants my sugar walls
> *opens tumblr* WHY WON'T BOYS TALK TO ME
Well, my second thought would be 'perhaps he's socially retarded and doesn't understand social conventions'. And no, I don't cry that bullshit.
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>>17566084
>approaching in class is extremely unnatural in general
No, trying to approach someone via an orchestrated manoeuvre is extremely unnatural. Join a club or something.
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>>17566088
I bet your discomfort would change real fast if the guy is """""cute""""" approaching you

>Well, my second thought would be 'perhaps he's socially retarded and doesn't understand social conventions'.

That's a terrible thing to say to someone trying to smalltalk you on the first day of class. That, plus the fact you think simple conversation is the guy wanting sex from you hints that you likely have entitlement issues. Are you a roastie?
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>>17566096
So it's all about social circles then?
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>>17566058
>Will I make a girl uncomfortable sitting next to her with tons of other empty seats nearby?

If you just sit there and don't say anything then yes.
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>>17566102
>I bet your discomfort would change real fast if the guy is """""cute""""" approaching you
If that's what you want to think, sure.

>That's a terrible thing to say to someone trying to smalltalk you on the first day of class. That, plus the fact you think simple conversation is the guy wanting sex from you hints that you likely have entitlement issues. Are you a roastie?
Whatever. I'm sorry you're not hearing what you want to hear, but if it makes you feel better about it, keep insulting me.
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>>17566102
>That's a terrible thing to say to someone trying to smalltalk you on the first day of class. That, plus the fact you think simple conversation is the guy wanting sex from you hints that you likely have entitlement issues. Are you a roastie?

With posts like these, why are you shocked you don't get any action?
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>>17566103
No, it's about not trying to force it. I bet the beginnings of your friendships and past relationships weren't purposely planned or anything, right? Then why should this be?
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>>17566107
Female entitlement 101: If you're gonna throw around terms like "socially retarded" expect someone to take notice of your shallow personality. Being insulted by that is your personal choice.

>>17566111
> haha bet you don't get laid xD
Shit-tier insult. Never said I don't get laid, I just don't get laid in university. Bar sluts are my current area of expertise.
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>>17566096

Don't listen to this guy. If you see someone interesting go and talk to them right away. 3 second rule. If you take more than 3 seconds then you start to overthink it.
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>>17566084
Yes, it's fucking awkward at first, that's why I keep it strictly related to the most immediate context (the lecture, the subject, etc.)... after a while I just got used to being the new guy in a social circle, I guess.

I've had people answer me with "I don't know you" upon being greeted "Good morning" as if I needed written authorization to fucking greet another human being. BUT...

...don't ever complain about that, don't overthink it, don't be overfriendly, don't be pushy, keep your cool, always be ready to step back. Just move slow. REALLY slow.
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>>17566118

> I just don't get laid in university.

Isn't that what you made this horrid thread for? To try and better yourself in this department?
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>>17566115
I agree that the best relationships are naturally formed. But I think pushing yourself out of comfort zones can be really important too.
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>>17566118
>Being insulted by that is your personal choice.
And same to you. If you choose to read people saying what they truly think on an anonymous Latvian cheese grating board, then that's your personal choice.
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>>17566123
Yes, that is exactly why I'm asking for advice.

>>17566122
> I don't know you
Lol what a blunt thing to say. Perhaps that person was having a shit day? Thanks for the /adv/
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>>17566128
I'm not mad ticklebum, you just need to loosen up and stop thinking every guy wants to fertilize your eggs because he asks for a sheet of paper in chemistry class ;^)
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>>17566130

The lady ITT is saying she'd feel creeped out if some guy sat next to her and started talking to her. This isn't the general consensus on all human interaction. That's her opinion, there are people who are friendly and people who are skeptical of everything.

There are some things you don't do in public, eg. farting, picking your nose, listening to loud music in the library....Going up and talking to people in a social setting isn't one of those things. You see someone seated that you want to talk to you just go and talk to them. If they're nice great, if not then tough luck. It sounds harder than it seems cause it is at first and your ego is on the line 100% of the time.

The answer to your question is why wouldn't you talk to classmates? Why wouldn't you make a connection with someone? This advice probably wouldn't do you any good cause I can see you're taking things really personally if someone gives you a bad reaction which is for sure bound to happen in real life especially with people you don't know but in my experience, most people are nice and accommodating.

Oh and also, if you want to talk to someone cause you think they're cute tell them that's why you're doing it, don't pretend you're talking to her cause you want to know how integrals work. You're being fake and women can pick up on that very fast.
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>>17566145
Okay
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>>17566153
>The lady ITT is saying she'd feel creeped out if some guy sat next to her and started talking to her
>creeped out
I never said that, don't put words in my mouth. I know the word creep triggers guys here so easily and I don't want to trigger at least that one guy even more than he already is.
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>>17566120
Am I being memed or do you legitimately recommend PUA theory like the "3 second rule"?

In all seriousnes, I think that's a good rule and one of the good takeaways... you just really gotta sift through the shit with PUA stuff
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>>17566153
The words of wisdom of a brave anon who has decided to not be one of "those" people.

While I commend your point of view, I humbly advice not to get into the argument, not even to pacify it. 'tis beyond us.
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>>17566162

Didn't you just say that anyone who did that was socially retarded or didn't understand social cues, and that they just wanted to get into your pants? By definition that makes them a creep by most women's definition. If you think someone is being a "social retard" then you are being creeped out by them.

>>17566163

>PUA theory

You're not trying to "pick up" someone, you're trying to become a more social person and make new connections with people around you. And yes, the 3 second rule is in effect, at all times, else you just start making excuses.
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>>17566162
You're a very uptight chick, this guy was being very rational and even defending you. >>17566153
I don't take roastie opinions personal why are people here saying I'm mad :^)? But I agree with almost everything you said there. Thanks for the solid advice.
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>You're not trying to "pick up" someone, you're trying to become a more social person and make new connections with people around you. And yes, the 3 second rule is in effect, at all times, else you just start making excuses.

I know, I'm just pointing out that the term was coined in the PUA community, and they have SOME good stuff to say. A broken clock is right twice a day. But yeah, when you take to long to move the anxiety seems to swarm your mind and freeze you in place.

The biggest anxiety with campus is the fact that you're a local, and rejection can legitimately spread through rumors. This is the original purpose of us getting anxiety, same as our ancestors did 10 000 years when we were in a tribe of 50 people.
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>>17566206

Unless you do something really spergy and spaghetti-ish what rumors are you worried about spreading?

>Go talk to someone
>They blow you off
>Alright have a nice day
>????
>Rumors

I don't know what university you go to, but that sounds like some high school type stuff. Most people in uni don't even care enough to remember you after a semester is over. I was a social recluse in college, and the only people I ever saw consistently were the guys who were in my very specific major, and even then most of the time we were in different classes cause of different schedules.

Seriously, no one cares. Like I said, you're letting your ego get in the way.
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>>17566223
I'm just gonna drop this here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDF8YbpKJ-w
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>>17566258
Thanks anon, cool song.
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>record time in a relationship was 4 weeks
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>>17566022
>good openers
lol

I think most importantly just make more new friends in general, there is no fucking way you are the only new student in the university. At my university there are TONS of social events emailed to students on a weekly basis so if I go to those it's hard not to socialize and make new friends, people who are also new at the event, and many of them are cute girls. Also, if you enlarge your social circle (makes males and females friends), then you'd have more mutual friends that are females, you can go to said events together
Other than that:
talk to your classmates, usually tutorials have around 10-15 students so you will interact with girls there, you can join them at lunch
clubs & activities
study groups


>>17566153
>don't pretend you're talking to her cause you want to know how integrals work
Right she will assume you are retarded if you ask that question.
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>>17566124
>But I think pushing yourself out of comfort zones can be really important too.
I'd say it's the most important aspect.
Thread posts: 41
Thread images: 6


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