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>tl;dr relapsed yesterday and still have drugs left
I was a pretty bad drug addict back in my hay day. I was using something at least every weekend, and it eventually because almost an everyday thing. I'm not talking about weed either, I'm talking meth, benzos, ecstasy, coke, opiates (pills at this time). This lasted about a year, but I started to slow down quite a bit.
Then some really traumatic shit happened and it propelled me into that lifestyle full-force. I was homeless for a time, did some things i'm not proud of, and pretty much lost my mind from the drugs/PTSD.
I got back up on my feet after I stopped trying the AA shilled ----bullshit----, and was sober for 8 months! minus beer, but that was at most once a week. Then yesterday an old dealer texted me and it just triggered me to use again. Long story short, I ended up getting about 2 grams of heroin by the end of the day after driving my dealer around and finding his dope (it was in his wallet...idiot, but he broke me off). I also found crack in my truck from who knows when while I was cleaning it out looking for his product and smoked that, and smoked some meth when the pipe was offered to me. Oh and I got some xanax too.
Anyway, I feel really guilty. I've been able to stay away from the heroin since yesterday, and wanted it to be only a weekend thing, but I can tell that's going to prove to be fucking difficult.
I don't want to flush it, I have about 1.5 grams left I would guess, which translates to $140ish dollars. It's hard for me to justify just tossing that shit away, it'd be like taking a lighter and burning $140. I could maybe sell it back to my dealer for a cheaper price though and getting some of my money back...
i just don't know what to do. I don't want to go down this path again, but I keep finding myself thinking about it. If you've never shot heroin, it's a very very good feeling...so idk. thoughts?
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Use it. It's a waste otherwise. Just stay away from the heroin and meth from now on buddy. We don't want you to die early
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>>17562310
Just did a shot... it was pretty great. not as good as yesterday but still p good
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>>17562297
Cut contact with everyone that has anything to do with that shit. Everyone. Get a new phone, new phone number, delete the contact info or destroy the old phone if you have to. Your life is worth more than a phone.
Remove all things that could trigger your desire for this shit again, remove all those people from your life who might possibly trigger it. If you have any drugs left, actually go and flush them, because your life is worth more than whatever is left is worth.
Head down that road again and it leads only one way: complete ruin. But I am sure you know that. So don't just put up road blocks, nuke the fucking road and head the other direction. Fucking DO IT.
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>>17562310
>>17562401
You're fucking retards, both of you.
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>>17562297
there are prescription drugs that reduce the craving, you should get them free if youre poor.
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>>17562401
Good boy. Finish it all.
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Contact your support network, you have got to remove your triggers (remainder of the heroin, contact information of any current users) your life is worth more then ~100 bucks, that's the addiction justifying the value of the drugs as a reason to use that's not logic, 100 bucks today is worth losing compared to the financial instability that drug is going to bring to yourself and loved ones if you end up in rehab or jail. You have proved your a strong man with will power this is another test in your journey, it's time to invest in your sobriety again and remove your triggers if you need a new phone number do it, don't feel any shame just reach out to who ever can help/ support you. You can do this brother.
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>>17562297
don't listen to >>17563042
Just finish it and NEVER touch the heroin or meth again. No need to waste resources
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>>17563059
choke on your tounge
>>17562297
fuck the 140 bucks. Consider it an investment into your sober self and get rid of the stuff.
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>>17563169
lol, he can't hear you
Heroin lasts a long time buddy.
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