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Staled relationship

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Help anon bros!

I'm in this near 4 years relationship, and while I do like and love her, I don't want to go on full marital,
its not that I don't like her, but I would really want more, not only meeting a better girl, but random girls that will not be the one, I really miss being single
now the problem is she does want to marry, and see me as her true love, and it shows, that really kept me going for most of the time

but what happens is now I'm just keep letting her down left and right, cause she is always demanding for more, after all she wants everything
but the more this goes the less I can give, and it results in even worse let downs
right now we just had an argument over the weekend (we didn't see each other) and plainly stopped messaging,
its like we're in this hellish purgatory step, where we both know what is going on, but neither have the courage to do something

and I've tried breaking up a couple times in the past, when it was just past that snap point, but couldn't go through with it
its truly terrifying, the sight of a girl I love breaking up in tears right in front of me is simply too much.
help 4chan, so tell me, what can I do?
>>
>>17560927

break up with her.
>>
Nothing less unattractive to a woman then a guy who is indecisive.

Make a decision ffs. Break up with her, let her know why and move on. Otherwise stfu and stop wasting her and our time. Jesus.
>>
>>17560932
>>17560941
yeah I know, but thats the point,
have your ever broke up with girl, specially when you're not in bad terms?
shit is hard
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>>17560992

Yeah I did actually because I wasn't getting the most out of the relationship. She was a great girl but boring. I felt the early connection I had with her was lost and she became too complacent trying to appease me. Safe to say I told her how I felt, told her she should find a guy who complements her personality and that best of luck. We are still friends to this day anon.
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>>17560992

>have your ever broke up with girl, specially when you're not in bad terms?
>shit is hard

Are you retarded? It should be easier because you should be able to calmly communicate your feelings to her. If you are both on good terms, you can talk to each other like adults about the status of your relationship.

Do you know what's really fucking hard? When the girl is in complete fucking denial about how things are and say things like EVERYTHING IS FINE, IT'S JUST A BAD TIME RIGHT NOW, JUST NEED SPACE, DON'T FEEL LIKE TALKING ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW, JUST NEED TO COOL DOWN, etc.

THAT shit is hard because no matter what you say to them, they won't take it.

Take advantage of it now while things are still good between you.
>>
>>17561014
I think you misunderstood about "bad terms", I meant we are not actually fighting
when things turn to shit is much easier to just say fuck it

even though we're not in bad terms, we're still passionate
chances are pretty high the conversation will turn out emotional and
>EVERYTHING IS FINE, IT'S JUST A BAD TIME RIGHT NOW, JUST NEED SPACE, DON'T FEEL LIKE TALKING ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW, JUST NEED TO COOL DOWN
will follow up, as it did in the past
>>
alright bros, I"m gonna go for it today
show up at her house unannounced and talk it out
hope for the best
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>>17560992
Keep banging her while you find someone et else. Always have pussy on deck before et you break up!
>>
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Alright went for it...

the plan was to stop by why apartment, call her down and have a talk by the park, simple, objective, attack and I'm outta here...

however when I went down, she wasn't there, hag gone for the gym just a couple minutes before I've arrived,
went there, tried to call her a couple of times, whatever, people working shouldn't keep checking on their phones anyway, so play the wait game

wait for a horrendous hour of self doubt and nervousness, wait out front, finally she comes down, with her mother, and all happy to see me as well
this was one of the best things in our relationship, every time she saw me, there was just this plainly happiness that she couldn't hide, all the while felt my heart tightening and comforted at the same time

now the thing turned into a family dinner and she is talking about that wonderful meal her father is gonna prepare.... I give some space from her mother and say: we gotta talk...

she kinda already fell the chills, I insist to do it on the park but she calls me upstairs, now I'm in her room and whole family outside

then I muster all the balls and just said it,
she immediatly follows up with tears and then the rationalization that >>17561014 refers to

"is just that we get so well"
"we should try a little more"
"its me right, because I got fat"
"did you find someone else?"

and all that fluff, but all the while she was really gracious about it,
and I literally felt heartbroken and like a bastard
but she says its ok we can still talk and whatever,
she insists on having me over for dinner
we walk outside she gets me a bread, and says her family all in the living room: we just broke up (they're a chinese family btw)

I'm eating a bread, her father is "wth?", her mother is like "about time", her sister didn't even see
I'm like: I have to get the fuck outta here!

finally got out, went back overthinking things
still not sure and pretty sad, but reliefed at the same time
lets just hope I did the right thing
>>
>>17562220
ps: I literally felt like costanza https://youtu.be/H4AUlPIZHfo
>>
Man OP sounds exactly like my relationship, I feel the same way.

I'm in the prime of my life, and I really don't want any one in my life at the moment. My gf loves me and wants to spend rest of her life with me, and I just don't see it lasting forever.

I tried ending it twice but I ended up feeling bad and stayed together, at this point I kinda wish she would just do something that would give me reason to end it, she is to in love with me and the relationship appears to be going well its difficult to end it out the blue.
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>>17560927
I kind of want to repost this but switch the gender and make you a girl dissatisfied with her boyfriend and thinking of leaving him but reluctant, and I want to watch the explosion of shitposting that thread would have as everyone accuses you of being a huge slut and a terrible person for leading that poor guy on.
>>
>>17562249
I feel you man, I feel you
just been through >>17562220

its really hard to end something when its going so nice, but what happens is you won't care enough and she will always demand the most
then slowly you degrade the relationship like, leading one let down after the other, and after sometime you just don't care to back it down anymore
>>
How old are you? come on!! if you want to go out with other girls... what are you waiting for? do you wanna get marriage.. not doing what you want untill you loose the (not sure if you have) sexappeal and you have to pay to have sex with other women?! Come on!! guy you are not the only one, of course all the man (and woman) want and deserve to be free for a long period but not all of us are brave enought to go throuhg it. Do you want to be brave in your life?!
Dont worry for her feelings, she will suffer more when she knows your real feellings. Just let the relationship goes, dont be afraid, cause it will be worse then
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>>17562263
yeah true, should do that, at least as an experiment...
but truth is when girls want to break up they probably already moved on emotionally
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>>17560927
Bottom line is that you should know after four years whether this will end in marriage or not, and anything but yes is a definite and final no. Honestly you both need to move on so you can find other people.
>>
>>17562312
>>17562279
see >>17562220
>>
>>17562282
I can imagine a literal rule 63 OP in the same exact position easily.
>>
bump for celebration
>>
Right now feeling really sad and lonely...
as expected really, even looking old pictures
hug me anons
>>
>>17560996
I always fear this happening with me and my boyfriend. Any tips to avoid this?
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>>17563025
Don't be boring.
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>>17563025
>how to avoid this?
easy answer is: you don't.

long answer is: you really shouldn't want to be with a guy who doesn't meet your needs, you should want the best for you
even though it seems like true love and nothing could be better, lot of times its just an ego attachment, the fear of loosing, etc
but either way, never strive for something 'good enough', aim for the best relationship you can have
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>>17563036
That's a good one, yes, but arguably anyone could become boring once you get to know them well enough. Is it just inevitable in some relationships? Is thst just thr risk we take getting into a longterm relationship?
The only reason its a problem is because for a while my anxiety got really bad and I'd be afraid to speak my mind, and we discussed it and i let him know what was going on. He seemed to be supportive. Anyway, that has gotten better as of late. I should probably just stop worrying.
>>
>>17563046
I believe true love is a fallacy in short, but I do know that we have a stable and healthy relationship, and want to keep it as I really do think he is a miraculous person, all concepts of "true love" aside. But, as I said in >>17563056 I should just stop worrying, as it was hopefully just a little hiccup to be worked through together. You're absolutely right, aim for the best relationship possible :)
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>>17563068
basically that,if you notice that your needs aren't being met, or that the relationship is just slowly degrading into nothing but comfort, then its a warning sign, but if he keeps on being supportive and you're both growing together, then its ok

that was actually happened to me, we just slowly drifted apart, and I felt less and less like being supportive and going back on my let downs, all the while just being in comfort and not really growing with the relationship
(I'm the OP btw)
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>>17563085
Thank you for your input, I really appreciate you replying :)
>>
File: Presente.jpg (736KB, 1717x1717px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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pictures aren't helping.... I miss her guys
there just so much stuff around me related to her
Thread posts: 30
Thread images: 4


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