[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | | Home]

There's this guy who I've been chatting with for a

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 9
Thread images: 1

File: 1468865478871.png (847KB, 1260x1150px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1468865478871.png
847KB, 1260x1150px
There's this guy who I've been chatting with for a while, and he's told me a lot of things about himself. He says he does it in hopes that I'll be more open and trusting toward him. He says he likes to understand people and play around with their brains.
I actually really want to tell him about some abuse I've gone through in my life, but it's definitely for the wrong reasons. All I actually want from him is attention and validation. In a way, I'm almost glad to have gone through such things, in spite of the fact that they caused me mental/emotional damage, because I guess it gives me an "interesting" past, and it's an easy way to get attention.
Is it normal to feel this way? Should I tell him, or will it just be encouraging shitty behavior in myself? I'm scared that if I never open up to him, he'll get bored and stop talking to me. At the same time, if I don't keep him guessing and just spill everything, he'll have me figured out too quickly, then get bored and stop talking to me anyway. I know this is unhealthy, but I'm not sure what to do.
>>
>>17458837
Get cancer you fucking attention whore.

No one gives a shit about your "sad" past :'(
Stupid cunt.
>>
>>17458885
Obviously not, which is why I'm not getting into it here, you fucking sperg. The other person I mentioned actually is interested and does care, though. You're the stupid one if you can't even see that far.
I don't want to be an attention whore, but I'm not sure how to stop it or if I should just live with it.
>>
>>17458837
>Is it normal to feel this way?
Probably, if you don't feel you get enough attention.
>will it just be encouraging shitty behavior in myself?
Depends on your personality, you are at least self-aware of the desire for attention and reluctant to use your past to get it. That takes Character.

I don't think you should tell just because you want attention. You should want to tell him because you want to feel vulnerable towards him. Keep in mind there may be cues that you have a trouble past that he's trying to take advantage of you.

If you don't mind what's the nature of your troubled past? Don't need intense details just give me a brief overview. depending on the content it may not give you the attention you want or are craving.
>>
In my experience talking about the past makes me feel much better after talking to someone.

>I'm scared that if I never open up to him, he'll get bored and stop talking to me. At the same time, if I don't keep him guessing and just spill everything, he'll have me figured out too quickly, then get bored and stop talking to me anyway.

So you think that as soon as your past is revealed, he'll leave? What the fuck is that? Chill the fuck out my femanon. You're not a puzzle. This is just a temporary friend, I say that lightly, you make him sound a bit weird, who is just part of your life right now. Don't cling onto him like he's life support.
>>
>>17458923
This. Then tell him the feelings you had when contemplating telling him about your past. This is complete honesty and if he cares enough about you and 'analyzing' people, he will see how the abuse you suffered caused your personality to develop. He might do what my husband did and see beyond the broken self esteem and emotional validation needs. He could see you and love you freely amd honestly.
>>
>>17458923
>Depends on your personality, you are at least self-aware of the desire for attention and reluctant to use your past to get it. That takes Character.
I scrutinize myself a lot because I'm scared that my thoughts and actions are wrong, harmful to others or somehow accidentally manipulative. I don't know if that still counts, I think it's more like heightened self-consciousness and insecurity than anything.
>I don't think you should tell just because you want attention. You should want to tell him because you want to feel vulnerable towards him. Keep in mind there may be cues that you have a trouble past that he's trying to take advantage of you.
I'm not that opposed to being vulnerable to him, really, I'm just scared of him leaving. Know any good ways to curb the anxiety?
>If you don't mind what's the nature of your troubled past?
Emotional abuse from teachers and parents, extreme periods of isolation for most of my life, possible molestation from a parental figure, and molestation from one of my parents' friends. No one acknowledged the third one or did anything to stop it because the abuser was a woman. The specifics of it aren't as bad as the shit a lot of other people have been through, but it was bad enough to fuck up my personality and behavior in a big way.
>>
>>17458936
I guess you're right. Once I get close to people, I just find it hard not to be excessively clingy, you know? He's one of maybe two people I've managed to click with and feel comfortable talking to for long periods of time.
>>
>>17458948
He's been involved with a lot of girls and it's probably more likely that he wants to take advantage of me, but for some reason I don't even mind. I still trust him.
Thread posts: 9
Thread images: 1


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.