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feel like crying

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do you ever feel like crying and giving up?
All the time. Why? It's called depression.
is it okay to be depressed?
Well, it's not bad, anon. It doesn't define you, if that's what you're asking. It's very common, so don't feel too alone. Now, that said, it isn't very good for you, no. Try to get help if you can. Seek counseling if you can, and medication if necessary - although depending on your depression, you may only need one or the other. The most important thing is not to give up on yourself. I know it can be hard sometimes, but know that there are people out there who are capable of caring very deeply about you. If they can do it, you can too!

Why are you sad, anon?
Anon, come back! Talk to meeeeeee!
well I'm 30, no friends, no family, no career, anixety. it's not where I want to be.

fat too. got schizo affective disorder. on meds.

plus my mum is sick too mentally and is being manipalted by my aunt. she has low iq when sick.

I live for the future but sometimes I'm so awarkard with conversation and people dealing e.g. talking

that I just want to cry

plus my sister died.
I take it your meds don't help with depression. But then again they seem to be directly related to your circumstances. You can't help the fact that you have little or no family, but that's about the only thing about your circumstance you can't change. Why do you feel you don't have friends? Do you think you're too awkward or something? Because you can overcome that with practice. Your career, did you just never choose anything to dedicate yourself to? What do you like? What makes you happy? If the answers to those questions don't turn into career possibilities, at the very least you'll have hobbies that will distract you from you negative CURRENT situation. If you feel you're overweight, you could always just lose the weight, lol. I know it's hard, but if you think it'd make you happier, give you more self-esteem, or make you more social, then it seems worthwhile! Also, crying isn't necessarily a bad thing. We release stress hormones in our tears. If you need to cry, but don't wallow in it. Cry until you feel better, then find a way of actually addressing your problems. Your current circumstances do not define you and will not always be. You can ALWAYS choose to change them for the better!
You need therapy asap
friends? they all disabled types and are competitive like in ......,

hobbies? got lots, but can't advance as they make it difficult to keep a monopoly on wages?

overweight. I've started a diet.

I have high esteem. I just want to shut down.
What about taking up a hobby doesn't cost much? Or at least doesn't have a lot of upkeep. Have you tried art? Music, drawing, writing, etc? It's pretty cheap to draw. Playing an instrument is just an initial big step, then all you need is patience. Listening to music can also be soothing, and the internet can make that as easy as you're willing to, lol. Writing can be very therapeutic. Ever consider having a journal? At least just to vent? What about pets? Do you like caring about stuff? Sometimes that's all the companionship you could ever need. Pets are wonderful companions.

Life can be pretty difficult sometimes, but as long as we have a reason to keep going, there's a way to get past the tough spot.
I do all that, drawing music, writing.

but when I'm home alone and 30... and no hot women I like is around for making children I feel like I'm gonna age and miss out on having good kids
Well, the good news for you is that you are male. Right? Men can attractive at any age, any weight, any time - seriously. Also, you can conceive indefinitely, so biological clock ticking and shit. Just better yourself, maybe look into getting some help and working things out - getting your shit together a bit - then go out and meet people. There's no reason to beat yourself up over any part of your life. If you don't like something in it, change it. There's no point in wallowing in your poor me bullshit. I know that's super easy to do, but it changes jack shit. The more you indulge, the less things will change. It's okay to be sad, but learn to distinguish between things that are within your control, and those that are not. It'll make your life a whole lot easier.
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