Anyone have /adv/ice on handling your parents divorcing?
How do you balance your relationship with both parents when one fucking hates the other now, and they're both talking bad about the other, and they both need you to pick sides?
It's really distressing. I talk to my dad and he thinks my mom is becoming insane, tells me about all the insane crap she's been doing. And then my mom will tell me of all the horrible accusations my dad has been making, and acting like he's the insane one. They have no end of negative things to say about each other. I don't want to hear any of it, but I can't ignore it, because they'll think I hate them.
try "active listening" and nothing more. if that is not enough for them, tough. you don't need to pick a side.
>>17455372
Active listening is hard when I'm asked direct questions. They keep wanting to know the other's "side" to the story the other is telling me.. and even if I try to keep it neutral and short, they latch on to anything and use it as more fuel against the other. It feels like a really fine line to walk.
>>17455382
why should they speak through you? I just said that's not your responsibility. don't you know that?
>>17455389
Because they refuse to talk to each other; it's mostly been through lawyers for the past couple of days (all of it only started this week).
It might not be my responsibility, but I would rather not my parents hate me or do anything rash because they couldn't communicate. My mom is already on the verge of hating me for saying her marriage to my dad means he does have equal share of property, and told me she hopes her parents "hear what I've said in heaven and strike me down."
It seems really unwise to ignore their phone calls. They're both really unstable right now. As in, I'm not entirely sure if one or both might not kill themselves before it's done. Both of them have made attempts in the past. It might not be my responsibility, but I'm not uncaring, and I don't want to seem that way towards them.
ask them for proof. Accusations and hearsay dont amount to anything. If one of your parents is a piece of shit then you have a right to know and ask for proof the corroborates their story. Then you'll know who's side to pick. And if they don't want to offer you proof or try to hide things, then you know they have shit that needs to be hidden and are probably just as guilty as the other (IE. Then you know they're both pieces of shit)
>>17455365
Dealt with this. Stand up for yourself. Clearly and flatly establish yourself as a neutral third party whose responsibility is not to pass angry letters between immature "parents".