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How do I find love?

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Thread replies: 30
Thread images: 2

So here I am, asking for advice on 4chan. Because obviously it's 4chan, home of the most caring and kind-hearted folks on the internet. I'm totally not just desperate and at the end of my rope or anything. Nope.

Anywho, I'm nearly 24 years old now. Still a virgin. Never had a girlfriend. And lately it just feels like this dark, bottomless chasm in the center of my very being. I don't know what love feels like. I've never loved anyone, and never had anyone to love me.

Then I met this girl. I thought she was amazing. I felt like we got along so well. She is literally the only girl who has ever even given me the time of day to want to talk to me and hang out with me. I was really starting to think she might be the one. Then, after talking and hanging out for about a week, I introduced her to some of my friends. She had sex with one of those friends the very next day, before I ever got a chance to tell her how I feel about her.

I just found out today. The guy who she had sex with called and told me. He knew I was interested in her and apparently wanted to tell me himself so it wouldn't come as a surprise or whatever. You know, because we're friends. Right.

So I confronted the girl about it, and she told me she was only ever interested in me as a friend. She sent me this super long text about how she thinks I'm a great person, and there's definitely someone out there for me, and blah blah blah. It's just, I'm at the point where I really don't think there is anyone for me. And even if there is, I have no idea where to even begin looking for them.

I don't know what to do now. I don't even really care about sex. Well, that's a lie. I do want to have sex and I'm sure it'll be great if it ever happens. But I want more than sex. I just want for one time in my life to know what it's like to have a deep personal connection with a woman. To have someone to share myself with. I just want to experience love once in my life, or else I feel like I'm never going to be happy.
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Bump. This is the advice board. Give me some advice you stingy bastards.
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>>17449513
But you didn't ask for advice apart from that first line. All you did was make a blog post.
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That sucks anon, well you dodged a bullet there and at least you found out before you got too invested.

Now someone else is out there for you. It will come when you least expect it. Just be open and the right person will come into your life. Patience is key.

Also, haddaway is in fact black.
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>>17449203
I hear you man, it's not easy at all.

Sexual attraction is a real hell of a monster and it can be extremely difficult to figure out when you're like us and you're so late to the game. I'm not kissless but I am a virgin and I turn 24 next month. It's been five years since I broke up with my last GF.

Every girl I meet seems uninterested. I don't bother trying because I expect rejection. I don't really see how if I haven't found ONE girl who wants to stick with me by now, how it could ever happen unless I made massive life changes. Which is funny because on the surface I'm very put together. I make decent money, I'm educated, I even have my own place and drive a nice car. I'm told I'm funny and kind and smart and all this shit (though i don't put much weight on what people say about me these days). I am not very tall though, I'm not muscled up, and I have issues with confidence around women. I don't view myself as some irredeemable fuckup, I don't think I'm so unattractive that I should have to die alone. But I'm used to being rejected, to not being a girl's Plan A that I've basically given up.

The thing is though that there may be girls interested in us and we just don't see it. They could have the same insecurities. Or at least, that's what I tell myself until I try to get a move and get shot down, haha.

Anyways it's frustrating as fuck but just hang in there. Our time will probably come. At least I hope it does.
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Hey man, I'm 26 and in the same boat. I had chances but I always thought I could do better so I passed. Big mistake as it turns out.

If I've learned anything from that it's to take whatever comes to you. Good luck and don't beat yourself up.
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>>17449593
>If I've learned anything from that it's to take whatever comes to you.

Isn't that considered desperate?

But in all seriousness, I mostly agree. I like another phrase I've heard, which is "choose the one who chooses you". Having standards is fine but it doesn't seem like anyone wants to try at all and just expect relationships to happen on their own for no reason other than a strong, mutual physical attraction or some shit.
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>>17449203

I am 23 as well but no virgin for sure.

But still I feel the same like you. I had a beautiful relationship for 3 years and a lot of sexual contacts before and after. And still I feel no better than you, I am just dead inside.

My advice would be that you should stop thinking that you "need" to fuck sb or "need" to be in a relationship. You dont.

Just focus ond your hobbys, focus on improving yourself and everything will happen on its own.

You cant force it unless you use chloroform.

And btw, get rid of your "friend(s)". They suck and are not your friends.
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>>17449624
>everything will happen in its own
It might but you really need to stick it out for this to work. I have been "working on myself" for the last five years and women still don't find me good enough to date them. I only just recently got to a point where some girls showed some interest but they still don't find me desirable enough.

>Get rid of your "friends"
Agree with this. I've had to cut out people and am better off for it.
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>>17449665

Tell us about your appearance, body features.
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OP here.

>>17449527
A big problem is I don't know how to be open. I'm painfully introverted and find it difficult to talk to new people. Also I've been "patient" for 24 years. How long do I have to wait for the right person to show up?

>>17449593
I've never passed on any chances because I've never HAD any chances. This was literally the first girl who has ever bothered to talk to me. So I can't "take whatever come to me" because nothing ever comes.

>>17449613
How do I find the one who will choose me though? I just don't know where or how to meet the type of girl who would be interested in me.

>>17449624
I can't stop thinking that I need to be in a relationship. My loneliness is a burden that weighs heavily on my heart every day. And as for my friends, I really only have one true friend. All of my other "friends" are really just his friends. I can't cut any of them out of my life without cutting out my best friend. And if I lost his friendship, I'd literally have nothing left to live for.
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File: Happy ending, kek..jpg (33KB, 746x357px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Happy ending, kek..jpg
33KB, 746x357px
>>17449203

The first and most important question that must be answer is:

What is love?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEXWRTEbj1I
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>>17450276
OP describe yourself physically
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>>17450307
I'm tall-ish, around 6'1". I'm mostly thin, I weigh around 165lb. I'm not really in great shape because I don't work out a lot. I don't think my face is very attractive, but I'm not hideous or anything. Probably the worst part about my face is this shitty birthmark under my nose that makes it look like I always have a nosebleed.
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>>17450307
You sound cute OP. I wonder what it is that makes it more difficult for some guys to get into relationships. I have a friend who is attractive and works out a lot but he's never had a relationship either and I can see how that's bothering him. He's kinda short so i sometimes assumed that was a factor but there's short guys out there with cute gfs so I don't think that's all it is. Then I started observing my other guy friends and I noticed the ones who were more kinda flirty, trying to make jokes, and we're not so serious got more attention. My short guy friend is serious and kinda looks mad a lot. He seems more dark and moody than bright and content. Do you know how you come off??
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>>17450341
I don't think I'm very serious, and I try to remember to smile. But I don't talk much. Especially around girls, because I'm just always afraid I'll say the wrong thing and scare them off or something. So I spend a lot of time trying to think of the right things to say, which usually leads to just saying nothing.
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>>17450367
And I guess I should clarify that the reason I'm afraid of scaring girls off is because I generally have a pretty pervy sense of humour. So I feel like if I start making a bunch of sexual jokes, it'll be a turn off. But then I hear another guy make those same types of jokes and he ends up sleeping with the girl I like. So I guess that type of stuff is okay, but I still can't get over my insecurities about it.
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>>17449203
What kind of a friend does shit like that? If he was my friend I'd cut all contact with him. The girl sounds like a huge whore as well.

Sorry dude, I'm in the same situation as you.
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>>17450367
Yeah don't do that! I had an ex and his friend with some other guys who would sometimes hang out with their chick "friends" and my ex was talkative and didn't really think about what he said but his friend did always think and was quiet and my ex always ended up getting the girls attention when he was supposed to be helping out his friend. So don't stress so much. If anything talk to any girls even ones you're not interested just to get that practice. And I don't mean flirt but like an actual conversation.
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>>17450379
Nah don't say sexual jokes. Especially if you're not comfortable becuase they might come off weird instead of funny haha.
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Good luck
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>>17450383
Yeah the guy is an asshole. Even his best friend talks about how much of a dick he is when he's not around. But the thing that gets me is the girl really doesn't seem like a whore to me. I really think she's a great person. She very intelligent and well-read, she traveled around a lot, and has done a lot of interesting things in her life. She never seemed to me like the type of chick who would sleep with a guy she just met. But I guess I didn't know her as well as I thought.
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>>17450385
Thanks for the advice. I do try to talk to people, but it just seems like no matter how much I try, I never really get any better.
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>>17450394
Yeah and you sound really composed about it all. If I were you I'd be livid. Your way is probably the better one though.
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>>17450406
That's because I just feel kind of empty right now. I actually was not composed at all. This probably sounds really lame but when the guy called to tell me, I left work early and cried for a few hours before texting the girl and then making this thread.
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>>17450416
I don't think that's lame at all. Heck, you have a job and friends, so you're already doing better than I am. I'm turning 24 next month and my future is bleak at best.

Whatever you do, don't quit your job. Keep the friends you have who are actually decent, and hope for the best I guess. Forget about that whore, my man, you deserve better.
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>>17449203
Oh I've been there, though a lot earlier than you, I was 19.
Back in hs I was trying all sorts of things to get with this girl, and then later discovered she fucked 2 guys from our class and one random guy while telling me we're just great friends, and it ended in literally the same way - "you're a great guy, you'll find someone else etc etc".
It feels like shit.

I ended up really bitter, but somehow that ended up being my best possible motivation for self improvement. Try a new sport(I started Judo and it helped me a lot), or simply lift. It will boost your confidence, you'll meet new people(especially if you start a new sport instead of just going to the gym), and in the end you'll look better. Though I think the looks aren't that crucial, compared to confidence at least.
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>>17450394
Women will fuck the guys they are attracted to without a second thought.

Its becoming less accepted to criticize or even discuss this behavior as its seen as slut shaming. But if it makes you feel any better, I would like to point out that women your age are still a little clueless, and still are bad judges when it comes to partners. Eventually they get tired of assholes. Some girls don't bother with assholes to begin with but they are a little harder to find.
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>>17449692
I am Not OP but I am 5' 6" 120 lbs so short and thin but not unhealthily so. Mixed race, got freckles and a decent beard, no tattoos.
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>>17450442
Yeah, I might try starting some kind of sport. Judo sounds cool, actually. I really need some kind of hobby that doesn't involve sitting at home.

Anyway, I'm probably gonna let this thread die now, unless anyone has any insightful revelations that'll change my life. I realize there's not much I can do but move on, work on improving my confidence, and hope it doesn't take another 24 years to meet the next girl.
Thread posts: 30
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