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/adv/, I'm with this beautiful, intelligent, dorky girl

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/adv/, I'm with this beautiful, intelligent, dorky girl who gets me out and is kinda slowly turning me into a normie. She's getting me to learn how to cook, work out, not be a slob and gives me tons of emotional patience with my ADHD and immaturity. At the same time, my 23 years of living a solitary lifestyle is really catching up with me. I'm introverted as all fuck and she's a little high-maintenance due to some anxiety issues. Even if I enjoy so much of my time with her, it leaves me exhausted and wishing I had WAY more time to myself. It's nothing I blame on her, I just cannot stand this feeling that I might be perpetually uncomfortable around someone so incredibly extroverted because I need so much me time.

I've never been in a relationship this long (going on 9 months) and she's floating the idea of moving out together sometime next year, out of town. She's a fantastic partner, but my thoughts on it have been flying wildly all over the place. When we're doing things out together, I'm ecstatic. When I'm away, I dread my free time because it never feels like enough and I can't enjoy it. Sometimes it makes me grumpy or quiet with her because of it, and that upsets her too. This possibility of us moving out together scares me because I have no idea how I'll make out... I get very sheltered and seclusive when I don't feel like I can be alone. I've tried to talk about it but it makes her anxious that I'm not gonna skip town with her.

I know she's not the only girl in the world, but I do love her. She's fantastic and I fear that if I can't fully be me with her I'm just kinda doomed to be by myself my whole life. What do I do? I figure some of you guys must have been in situations like this, if anyone...
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Going to sleep soon, so bumpin this for the morning. Gnight /adv/.
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Talk to her about all of this. Like copy-paste it basically. And learn to spend time together while doing nothing and not talking.
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Hey there anon.
I've married a woman not too different from the one your describing and I've lived with her about a couple year's now.

I'm not gonna lie: deep inside I wish I could go back to staying up late with anime and video games.

Even though our personalities are way different, we learned to shape our lifestyle to accommodate those limits.
I tolerate hanging out with her normie friends all the time, and she knows I need a good amount of time to relax alone. She knows to wait at least till I'm in between Overwatch matches to do shit, and I know to schedule my game time when I know pretty much every thing else is done.

I guess it comes down to both communication and a bit of intuition regarding each others needs and wants. Talk to each other, about what you've posted here and whatever else bothers you.
Hopefully you just fine tune the rest with trial and error. Kinda working for me, about 2.5 years in.
Good luck, anon.
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>>17446611
How far away is she planning to move out of town? Another state? If so which one?
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>>17446821
That... Really worries me. I really deeply fear that feeling persisting as I'm with her.

Like, I'm finally by myself and I have the privacy to watch and play my backlog, exercise without any judgement, make all my cooking mistakes without people watching... I have this stupid need for privacy in a lot of stuff and I don't know if I can let it go around her, I've basically lived with it my whole life. (I tested positive for Schizoid disorder on the MMPI a while back, no idea if it's that serious but it's pretty deep-seated...)

>>17446823
She really loves San Diego and she found an amazingly relevant opportunity there to get a foothold in her career that she loves. It's perfect for her and I love San Diego, but it's really uncomfortable because it's less than a year away, I'm starting a new job with my long-time company, I've never lived with a SO before and this heavy introversion has me really worried. I'm someone who can probably handle a lot of those stresses if we moved, but not when I don't have my outlets.

I really do need to talk to her about it, though, you guys are absolutely right. I have no idea how to tackle it, though...
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>>17447486
While not in the same situation of a relationship I completely know your feelinf of wanting me time, playing games myself.

In my late twenties, word to the wise, get off video games. You have a very good situation on your hands, dont flub it up over some backlogs or crap. Temporary enjoyment os far inferior to long term happiness. Try to ween yourself off it.

Second is to craft carefully an advance how you are feeling and explain it to her. Communication is key and telling your feelings with clarity is paramount. Explain to her you want some more down time but be careful she doesnt read into it like you want to break up.

You are doing good anon, dont fumble it. Girl sounds like a gem.
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>>17447504
It's not just video games, but yeah, I know what you mean. Hope I can navigate this, man... She's a gem but an anxious gem.
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