Hello /adv/. I need some advice about something that has been
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Post No. 17446114
Hello /adv/. I need some advice about something that has been haunting me for the last few years now.
First, some backstory.
So when I was in kindergarten I was friends with a girl we will call A. We both kinda had crushes on eachother in the way that
young kids do, I guess. As we became friends so did our parents so we got to hang out a lot more. At the end of my kindergarten year,
my parents decided to put me in a new school because my old school was way to easy for me. So I transferred schools and me and
A were sad, but since we were so young we didnt think much of it and I began adapting to my new classmates at my new school.
Years passed, and I made new friends. But sometime around 7th or 8th grade I began thinking about A again. It was at this time that
I found out A had moved away several hours east of me. I was a bit disheartened, but I still had middleschool things to do and
people I knew there. I graduated 8th grade and moved on to the all guys highschool that all my friends were going to (dumb choice lol).
Finally, at the beginning of my freshman year, I found a way to contact A on the internet, and I introduced myself there and we started
talking again for the first time in 9 years.
We started skyping and eventually dating. Turns out we had a lot of the same interests and stuff. Every once in a while when her family would come in town to visit relatives, she would tag along
and we would go out places. Being with her was honestly the happiest times in my life. I would literally drop everything I was doing if she
was coming into town. She's exactly my type, both in appearance and personality. The best part of the whole thing was that she liked me as
well. But of course, unfortunately it couldn't last forever.
We tried to long distance date for an entire year, but at the beginning of my sophomore year we cut things off. Nothing major happened
between us, simply the fact was that we had highschool lives ahead of us. We slowly started not skyping until she finally broke things off
almost exactly a year after we started talking. She basically said that the distance was simply the issue, and that it wasnt really
feasible as long as we lived so far away from eachother. I haven't heard from her since.
It's been almost 3 years since then. We're both 18 now and heading off to college. When the breakup happened, not going to lie I was
devastated for a while. I wasnt a stick in the mud because of it though. I slowly got over it, and throughout my highschool years I
dated 3 other girls and went to prom. However, I never truly got over it completely. I liked each of the girls I dated for different
reasons, but none of them nearly compared to A. I've really wanted to contact her for the last 3 years, it really tears me apart, but simply the one problem in our
relationship turns out to be one of the hardest to overcome; the distance. To make things worse in this regard, the college I'm going to
is even further to her than I am now. I don't know what to do, because I've been getting the urge to see her more and more lately. I've
told a few of the people closest to me about this, and I get different responses. My mom has been very supportive about this with me,
but warns me that I should wait until sometime in the middle of college to contact A, but I am afraid thats too late. On the other
hand my friend keeps telling me that I need to contact her asap to as he puts it, "Let her know you still exist.", but I'm afraid that
option is too early. I dont know what to do. Maybe I'm completely crazy for trying to pursue this. I would do anything to see her, but
I don't have the money at present to do that. I've been trying to move on for 3 years, but each time I end up wanting return.
So /adv/, i need your input. My mind is too biased to make a practical decision, so i need some objective opinions. Should I try to contact her again?
If so, when should I? I have spent the best moments of my life with her, and would do anything to make it work out if i knew I could. But then again, this
determination hurts me just as much if i get to the point where i knew it 100% wouldnt work out. I know I need to try something, but in my mind, it all
ends up failing. The only reason I entertain the thought of trying now is because we are adults now and have the freedom to do things we couldn't at 14,
overcoming distance being one of them. However at the same time I dont have thousands to throw around as of right now, but if i work hard in school i may in
a few years. Anyways sorry for my rambling, I just need someone to talk to about this and I figured this is just as good a place as any. But please any advice is
wholeheartedly welcome. I'm not sure I've covered everything because im rambling, so if you have any questions or if theres any holes in the story i forgot to
fill in, let me know. I'll be watching this thread.
I would avoid it, maybe it works and you get another year of long distance romance out of it, but that will not last.
As a rule don't date people from your early life in your mid/later life, there's going to be weird tension.
The longer you hold on to this the more it's going to eat at you, until she really doesn't want to see you anymore and you're left with this feeling.
Let it go OP, it was something you had for a moment in your early life, but you can't return to the past. I say this because I have a vaguely similar story.
Thanks for your input. I'm well aware in order for it to work, I couldn't let it go on long distance another year. I'm just way to stubborn for my own good and it causes me pain. As long as there's still a glimmer of hope my mind latches on to it. I don't want to give up, but at the same time I know that might not good for me logically.
That said, i'm still open to any more opinions anyone wants to give.
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