Every time I fall into a new group of people - high school, university,

Put yourself out there, you're probably a naturally reserved/solitary person and realising that might help you understand why you never keep significant social ties with people.

Personally, I felt like I was being overly desperate when I asked other people to hang out or if I asked to be part of things, I assumed that if I was liked then I would just be invited anyway, turns out real life doesn't work like that and I'm not super cool so I have to make the effort.

>>17441709
>putting myself out there
I suppose I should. It just feels like when you're put into a new setting, if you fuck up in the beginning - that's it. There's just no way to bounce back once people already have an opinion about you. Or at least it's extremely difficult.

>asking people to hang out instead of waiting to be invited
Absolutely agreed with you here, and I can think of a great example of this.
I started a new job some months ago. There was obviously some initial awkwardness when I started, but I didn't make any effort to get through it. I just said fuck it and now my coworkers think I'm a dick.

A good looking girl started at the same company a few weeks after me. She went through the same initial awkwardness as I did, but she actually made an effort to get through it. And now she's actually friends with most people in the office, they actually like her.She got pretty much no special attention, not more than me anyways, it was just that she actually made an effort to get to know people, instead of just giving up like I did.

>>17441801

Yeah, well you''ll be suprised how quickly people will forgive you if you make them laugh and go out of your way to be a nice person to be around.

They might give you shit about not doing it sooner but you can tell them you've had a rough family life or something that got you down, fact of the matter is your social skills are shit but not in the way you think they are, you''ll say to yourself youre socially inept but if you make an effort you'll realise that socialising is actually hard fucking work to get right, although it can alleviate things like loneliness.

I spent up until the age of 23 almost all my life struggling to be "part of the crowd" and felt totally worthless when I was sidelined without thinking I did or said anything to cause it. My wakeup call was realising that it was the fact I didn't say anything that caused me to isolate myself, that and I also have picked up some pretty bad habits like not seeing things from other peoples perspectives because im so wrapped up in my own head all the time, but thats a personal issue I have.

People are actually quite interesting to talk to, I remind myself that socialising is a skill just like riding a bike or writing an essay and if you slack on it you'll lose your edge and be rusty at it, so its okay to feel awkwawrd at first.

>>17441831
I guess I'll just start making effort any way I can, even if it's something small like saying "Good morning" when I walk in. I have to start trying at some point, might as well be now.

Thanks anon.