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So I'm pretty certain I need to break up with my girlfriend of 3 years, and I'm feeling pretty shitty about it.
Some background: She's the first girl I ever dated, we met in my freshman year of college during a time when we were both pretty depressed about the state of our love lives at the time. When conversations about the future and marriage would come up, I would say things like "I really enjoy being with you right now, but if I ever get married it won't be for a really long time, not sure if i'll ever want kids, etc".
She accepted that mindset at first, but as time passed she would seem to accept it less and less, until several months ago when she drunkenly went off on me about how I'm too stupid to understand that she's willing to give me the rest of her life and all that. We nearly broke up, but I was sad and felt shitty and told her that I may be able to change my mind about not wanting to get married (mistake in hindsight, but I'm an idiot sometimes). Since then, pretty much every time we get drunk together she brings up the fact that she's sad that I don't want to get married yet, it's always on her mind, etc. We're also living about 6 hours away from each other (she graduated college, I have another year left) and that's been causing issues as well.
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So now I'm just wondering how I should go about breaking things off with her since it's constantly on my mind. I have plans to see her next weekend, but I'm not sure I want to make a 12 hour round trip for a break up. Should I do it over the phone? Over skype? Is there a certain way I should do it?
I've never broken anyone's heart before, so this is something I've been stressing out about ever since our last drunken conversation about it.
What would you do, /adv/?
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>>17395842
Do you want to get married to her? Would you be willing to in the next year or so? If the answer is no, then you two want some pretty different things. Be upfront and honest with her about your feelings towards getting married. No more of the "Maybe I want to get married" bullshit and tell her realistically I would be willing to get married in x years or I really don't want to get married. As her if she wants kids and tell her in no uncertain terms that you're not sure if you ever want them.
You might break up but it would be for legitimate differences in how you both see your lives going. Don't get pressured to get married if you don't want to because that really never ends well. the 6 hour difference is tough, but it's only for a year- the other issues are more pressing
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>>17395850
After three years you should probably do it in person
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>>17395866
I agree, I just don't know if I can keep this in until I visit :/ I don't have the most reliable car so I can't just make an impromptu trip
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>>17396061
When are you visiting next? I know that I feel scummy ending long relationships over the phone or skype or whatever; but 12 hour roundtrip in an unreliable car is pretty tough. I would say of those two options I would opt for phone, especially if you use cam on skype usually, could be more awkward.
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