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>friend confesses she's in love with me
>always kind of knew, but I was flirty with her anyways because I was in denial, i.e. "no I'm not leading her on, we're just friends"
>kiss her one drunken night and we start dating, with the hopes that my feelings will develop for her
>who am I kidding, I really want to but I can't force it either
>try to tell her we shouldn't talk anymore because she deserves someone who'll feel the same way, it's not fair to her, etc.
>at the same time she's so important to me I can't really bear to part with her either, even though it's the right thing to do
>she tells me she can't leave my life; if there's even a 1% chance that one day I'll feel the same she'll hang on
>only way she can move on is if *she* decides to give up (her words)
>this whole thing has been going on two years (her love for about two years, dating these past few months)
>even though it's been two years and there's been no feelings from my end, I can't really confidently say that there's a 0% chance in the future; she is an amazing person and I've appreciated her more over the years
I tried to let her down easy but it didn't work, but I can't bring myself to let her down the hard way either, of making her hate me or violently cutting her off. Is there any other way? Or could I just be in denial about feelings for her? I don't fucking know, /adv/.
My telling her we shouldn't talk was over the phone, because it got to the point where I had to give a straight answer, even though I was trying to delay it so we could talk about this in person. I'm seeing her tonight.
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>>17395151
Love has been a meme since before history began. The vast majority of marriages before the past hundred years or so were done for business or survival purposes. The longer you live with someone, the closer you'll get (assuming you're actually healthy for each other, mentally, and work through any problems instead of coping). Sex hormones will just add to that.
Love itself is a chemical reaction that largely wears off after a couple years, anyway. The whole biological point is just to facilitate enough bonding that two schmucks raise their children.
In short, two options
>just go with it and see what happens together, with the worst case being you spend a loveless life with someone who cares about you and that you care about
>keep putting it off waiting for a spark with someone else that might never happen
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>>17395151
what people say is not what people do.
how many times have you heard a guy pledge undying love for a woman they would never have, only to be over it in a month? how many times have you felt something so strongly you assumed it was infinite and you look back at the affirmations you made and felt silly or cringy?
this is no different. the girl says
>if there is even a 1% chance
she is really saying
>I CAN MAKE YOU LOVE ME
she doesn't believe there is a possibility of a zero percent chance. this is just another chapter in the epic love story shes constructed in her head, and love will conquer all and you'll see what a great person she is :^)
the relationships already going to sour because of the revelation that you feel nothing. so end it. you dont have to be 'violent' you just have to be adamant.
>we can't date anymore
>no we can't be friends anymore
then stick with it.
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>>17395167
She is a great person. And it's not even friendship. I don't know how to explain it, but she means more to me than just my "best friend", but at the same time I can't make the jump and make her my girlfriend either.
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>>17395234
then just let her live in the hellish purgatory because you're too selfish to let her go and find real happiness.
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>>17395242
You're right. I wish I could keep her in my life, but she deserves to be happy, even if that future doesn't have me in it at all.
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>>17395289
glad you understand man. good luck.
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