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Virginity

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>23 year old virgin
>meet a girl on tinder
>go out a few times and then became 'friends'
>eventually she realises she has feelings for me and we start dating
>most wonderful time of my life
>fall heavy in love
>been through a few rough patches but still madly in love
>I believe that shes thenm one (marriage kids etc)

So that's the backstory, now my problem is that she's not a virgin (please bear with me on this). She told me at the start and it never bothered me then but now, 6 months later, a couple of times it's come up again. The weird thing is, that I'm fine with it at the moment(just uncomfortable), and then a couple of days its creeps into my mind, and I go crazy thinking about all the sex she's had before me blah blah.

I just want the thoughts to go away, and Ive told her how it makes me feel (we've decided not to talk about her exs from now on) but it still slips in, like when we're discussing virginity and shes like "its nothing special" and I'm suddenly reminded again that this girl just gave it away to randoms/assholes (1 night stands included) but she was hesitant in dating me for being a virgin. Btw she's told me that everyone before me treated her really badly.

I know she regets her past, and wished I was her first and I know that I was her first love, as well as first unprotected sex. And I know that even though I'm a virgin I've had some disgustingly werid porn habits (sort of similar, right?) So I can't really judge her on her past.

Is there anyway I can move on from this and stop these fucked up thoughts from happening?
>>
Don't get attached, you met her on Tinder for god's sake...
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>>17393400
This post is why people on here are whining about not being able to have a girlfriend. You motherfuckers have invested so much in the idea of getting laid that it infect everything. This half a retard over here is about to fuck up a perfectly good relationship because he thinks sex is some magical bonding experience and he's threatened that he isn't his ex's first.
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>>17393409
Too l8 for that m8...
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Do you really love her OP? Well then you cant let it bother you really. You guys are dating yes? Then im sure shes gonna wanna sex you up at some point right? I would say don't worry about it, she knows your a virgin.Dont worry about how your gonna do blah or whatever or start asking her for sex. Just fucking date the girl normally.
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>>17393417
>sex is some magical bonding experience
Gonna have to disagree, sex with someone you care with, i.e this girl is amazing. My issue is the thoughts I get of some faggot fucking my girl.

>This half a retard over here is about to fuck up a perfectly good relationship
Gotta agree with you there though, which is why I made this thread.
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>>17393428
I love her with all my heart, shes like my best friend.

Yeah we've been fucking for while, amazing sex, can make her cum in an instance and she cant get enough of my dick. Suffered from delayed ejaculation for a while, but its finally fixed since I realised that I was meant to really focus on the sex (also fixed death grip with no porn). I kind of have a fear that the whole virginity thing is the reason for my dick problems in the first place.
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>>17393429
>Gonna have to disagree, sex with someone you care with, i.e this girl is amazing.

Sex with someone you care about is amazing, but its different than some sweaty one night stand.

Sex with my wife means something.

That chick I fucked in the bathroom of a Denny's at 3am in college? That was assisted masturbation with a chance of herpes that I'd rather forget, not wasting some finite romance resource.

Its not like she's harboring some deep, complicated feelings for her past conquests. She picked you, she wants you, she doesn't like them. Take the win, man.
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>>17393400
OP, you're a faggot. You met her on tinder, of course shes not a virgin you spic
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>>17393429
I'll never get this mentality. She didn't even know you existed before your Tindr date, maybe she thought those other guys were "the one?" She's with you now and you two have a good thing going. WHO FUCKING CARES if she had sex with someone else before she met you. Yeah sex can be intimate and romantic and special (I agree with those things) and she's doing those things with you now. Don't overthink it.
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>>17393438
The virginity thing is the reason for your freaking out about her past partners, too. All of the sex you've had in your life is special, so you're freaking out because you can't understand that not all of the sex she's had has been special. We're animals, most of the sex human beings have means nothing. You know why she's into you? Because it means something for her for the first time.
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>>17393440
>Its not like she's harboring some deep, complicated feelings for her past conquests
She is though, in away. Because of the way those guys treated her, she's very insecure and jelious sometimes. So at times, I'm being compared to this jerks.

That being said, shes aware of it and is working on it, but she was badly hurt by these past relationships
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>>17393400
>I know she regets her past
.... No actually, she doesn't. She's just realized that her past is *unsustainable.* There's a huge difference Anon. The woman didn't suddenly stop loving getting fucked by Chad Thundercock, she just had enough Chads dump her whore ass and move on. Now she's realized that OMG Chad isn't going to take care of me.

Guess who will? You. HMMMMMM. You're right to be concerned. Your girl is a pump and dump and you're trying to make her a housewife.
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>>17393453
No. She's working through figuring out how to care about someone. Thats very different from craving old dick.
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>>17393400
OP, you have something and you're trying to fuck it up. Yeah she fucked guys before you, how does that define someone? Is everything that you are as a person revolve around the fact you were a virgin? (Maybe not answer that)

Ask yourself: Do you really want to throw away your happiness because she slept with some douchebag(s) before you? Look at how absurd this shit is.

Don't listen to >>17393455 they put too much emphasis on sex which you should be doing less of and enjoy making LOVE to her.
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>>17393459
>>17393555
OP.... you can take this advice and waste years of your life being miserable... or you can realize that your girl is running a very old, very common, and very simple game on you.

She fucked around until she thought she couldn't fuck around any more... and now she's manipulating you into taking care of her used up goods. That's really all that's happening here.

And 10 years from now, you'll find out she's been cheating on you and one of the kids isn't even yours.
>meet a girl on tinder
It's fucking tinder. You think girls are on there to meet Mr. Right? Come on dude.
>most wonderful time of my life
>fall heavy in love
YOU fell heavily in love and then projected your mountain of love onto her to preserve your own emos. I watch men do this all the time.
>been through a few rough patches but still madly in love
O'RLY.
>when we're discussing virginity and shes like "its nothing special"
Translation: It wasn't special TO HER because she gave it away and now needs to preserve her own ego. "Oh yeah, nothing special no big deal yada yada," ... yeah, because she gave it up like a hoe for "fun" or some shit. Danger sign right there.
>Btw she's told me that everyone before me treated her really badly.
NO WAAAAAAY! You mean she mistook men liking her vagina for men liking her? HUGE red flag here.
>I know she regets her past
OH but I thought "it was no big deal?" So which is it? (pro tip, she's lying to herself to preserve her own ego)
>wished I was her first
YOU wish you were her first. "It's no big deal" to her remember?

Look man this whole fiasco is painfully cliche and obvious. if you don't pay attention to the warning signs, then you deserve every ounce of pain when she shits on you later.

God this is so cliche. It's SO cliche OP. I feel sorry for you... kinda. Someone like me will fuck your girl while you cry. Watch.
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>>17393400
Virginity is a complete scam. Its basically meaningless. You have been brainwashed.
>>
OP here

Thanks for all the advice, some of it I knew but the whole previous fucks thing still has hold on me. However I'll come to a realization that will help me.

1. We were first lovers and first unprotected sex, and desu protected sex doesnt count for shit. So we were each others first, in a way that matters

2. Its in the past, and it should be left there. I cant judge a girl for these things, especially since my past isn't exactly pure (If she knew the extent of my porn/fetish she would be the one being disgusted). I know that Im not that sick, loney guy I was anymore, and I should give her the same respect.

3. In the present, her and I are crazy about each other and what we have is connection that not everyone gets in there life.

I'm just going to remember these things and hopefully these thoughts will eventually subside.
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>>17393620
You're going to get cucked so hard. I want you to remember I told you this. I broke it down for you what she's doing and why. It might be 10 years from now, but you're fucked brother.

Go ahead and return your head to the sand. That nagging voice? Yeah it's the man inside of you slowly dying.
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>>17393620
did you read a single fucking word in this thread
god, you're asking for this
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>>17393417
What? OP literally said that she hesitated dating him at first literally just because he was a virgin. It's not some made up idea. People don't like virgins and/or chumps that have never been in a relationship.
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>>17393635
I did, I just decided to ignore the obvious /r9k/ posters.
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>>17393640
>i'll ignore the posts that hurts my feelings
tumblr is two blocks down
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>>17393638
shut up, only non-worthy people care about that shit jesus
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>>17393642
>ignoring irrelevant posts is a tumblr thing to do
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>>17393643
wow, and where is this fucking utopia you live in where people don't care about that shit?
i'm willing to bet this was never even a fucking issue for you. you probably hooked up with people in highschool, so never had to deal with people turning you down just because you're a virgin/never been in a relationship before.
yet here you are saying: "stop it, nobody cares."
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>>17393658
man you're projecting so much it's pathetic
I'm not a virgin, I'm just saying potential partners who are worth it don't care about something as trivial as someone's virginity
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>>17393658
>you probably hooked up with people in highschool, so never had to deal with people turning you down just because you're a virgin
wait is this supposed to happen in high school? I was picked on 24/7 for being a virgin
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>>17393668
sound like retards. in highschool people don't expect you to have been in a relationship before.

but once you're out of highschool, if you've never been with anyone that turns people right the fuck off. it's the same stupid fucking shit as an entry level job not hiring you because they want you to have experience in the same exact entry level job you're applying for.
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>>17393620
Protected and unprotected sex are the same thing. She was still getting naked with other guys and sharing those intimate moments.

It's also suspicious that you're her first 'unprotected' sex. I find hard to believe, and she might be making it up to give you something.

And yo, stop beating yourself up about pornography. It's pretty harmless unless you were into cheese pizza. This in no way is a demerit on your side.

Be careful man, once a slut always a slut
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>>17393661
>you're projecting so much
how is this projecting? i'd be totally fine if I met someone who was in the same situation as me. that'd be ideal since they wouldn't hold me to some standard set by their previous relationship.

sadly that's not how things fucking work.
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The world we live in... a whiny loser faggot like OP can get a gf while far better males are still single.
Thread posts: 32
Thread images: 1


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