>Know I'm autistic since I was born
>(putting existential crises questions since I was 3
>(asking for a better life, with full-time friends, and a new brain.
>(ask why am I always so sad all the time for no reason),
>in 17 years don't change my real personality at all.
>Become 18
>Start to no longer hide my autism and actually start showing it.
>Crap, my parents start discovering they have a mental problem in the house
>They ditch it as being just insecurities and lack of socializing
>They start sending me to friends and shit, the poor saps.
>Apologize to my classmates for my autism and be off on my way pretending to have fun
>Parents think I'm completely cured after 7 days of fake socializing. Classmates never told them a thing. Thank you.
>Now I can safely plan my suicide in peace without any disruptions.
Phew. That was a close one, /adv/. I mean seriously can you imagine what your own parents would think and do against you if they found out their child had an incurable problem?
It especially gets annoying and depressingly creepy when they try to force you to think and behave like a normal human being to no avail. And the way they get angry and lose all hope when they see they can't do a thing. They start blaming you and before you know it they kick you out of the house without even a method to suicide.
I can fake it well, just not enough to be a natural charming intelligent expert 24/7, but enough to not look like a depressed emotionally stunted lunatic. Sometimes they see through my charades when I use too much charm and not enough intelligence, I come off as obnoxiously transparent like I'm either a shallow insecure person or I'm hiding something.
I used the wrong OP image, but eh still good. Everyone likes a good crow on a spooky pumpkin head.
>>17392532
Your autism sounds fucking severe, but it can't be that bad if you can type this post. Work towards being comfortable with yourself, what type of autism have you? Some types are no different to distinct personalities.
You sound pretty depressed as well
Have you talked to an psychologist?
>existential crisis questions since I was 3 year old.
OP, you're pretty hardcore.