[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | | Home]

Can't believe I'm coming here for this, especially

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 2
Thread images: 1

File: image.jpg (113KB, 640x960px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
image.jpg
113KB, 640x960px
Can't believe I'm coming here for this, especially after never posting, but here we go...
The last year of my life has been a mess I feel.
>be male second oldest of 6 and 2 half siblings
>graduate hs
>break my leg 3 days before
>mess on hydrocodone
>lose all my friends, qtgf, become a mess even after sobering
>get 3 part time jobs after being able to walk (lasts about 5 months...)
>getting ready to go on Mormon mission
>old atheist friend messages me some stuff, start doubting
Background: I've been skeptic for awhile...
>mom gets pissed at asking(hardcore Mormon) try to change my mind about doubting
background: had on/off depression since the divorce and remarriage 3 days later, suicidal thoughts and a couple attempts that i never followed through, never talked about it or did anything
>go in, 3 months in am having breakdowns and panic realizing there's no way out and I have no faith...
>email my mom, she's concerned as she's worried suddenly I'll kill myself
>decide to go home a few days later (not knowing moms concerned and worried I'll get disowned...)
>gets labeled as "medical excuse"
>mom and stepdad get pissed everytime I breakdown
>see therapist who's convinced I'm having a "spiritual existential crisis" is all...
>3 weeks later go see my dad in Colombia
>he has several breakdowns
Background: he has PTSD schizoid bipolar issues which got much worse after divorce...they also had six kids...
>get back home
>therapist has a stroke
>breakdowns 1 week later
>have no money since #norefunds
>parents upset I still don't want to be Mormon...
(Cont)
(Pic slightly unrelated, but feels...)
>>
(Cont)
>get 2 jobs, try to just live life and stop caring...
>read Camus, go to college orientation, see old atheist friend, smoke some pot and feel like life is actually worth living
>1 week later drive car off cliff and hit a tree, breaking other leg, face smashing windshield, could've missed the tree and went off bigger cliffs and died
>itsamiracle!.jpg
>morphine, percoset, blood thinners
>absolute mess so mom makes me cut down
>absolute terror of riding in cars
>stepdad and mom laugh, then get pissed every time I panic attack in a car, laugh at me
Now...
>fambly vacation.png
>stepdad pissed I'm ruining "his fucking vacation"
>throws me in the camper/trailer, I'm screaming bloody murder the whole time
>we get somewhere and they're pissed I don't calm the hell down
>let me ride in car
>freak the hell out on me every time I breathe, say anything, when they go over the white line, jerk on turns, etc
>make fun of me jerking the wheel and turning back to look at me and make comments...

I don't know what to do about this bullshit. I'm now stuck camping in the middle of nowhere, can barely fucking walk, have no car and could not handle driving one if I did, and no way to even talk to parents without them freaking out on me. I'm a fucking adult with problems they could never take the light of day to even address, and I don't know what to do...I don't even know what I'm asking for posting here, I just don't feel like I can keep handling this. I can't even talk to my bitchy sisters without them getting annoyed, cuz I'm an asshole and all....
Thread posts: 2
Thread images: 1


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.