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Are we really all locked in to social media, is it actually vital

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Are we really all locked in to social media, is it actually vital for a social life?

I haven't had facebook in 3 years. In that time, I've been depressed and lonely - it was that way before too. But now, even when I go out to meetup groups. Even when I exchange contact info with people at my commuter school. Even when I read social skill books. I am lonely 23 year old with no signs of change.

I know this is similar to generic posts on this board. The key difference is that I try. I've tried many different ways to live a happy life and they've all failed. What do you think?

The reason I'm posting on here is because I just shouted a ton at my dad, and when I walked out my cute apartment neighbor was there, I waved and looked at her. She had a sad expression, looked right back at me, and did not wave. Felt bad man. If I wasn't so lonely I wouldn't shout as much. My dad is a jerk and moron, but my yelling doesn't help. I just want people in my life, and to be happy.
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Most people are miserable too, so don't let others bad mood bring you down. Real happiness comes from within and not from external sources. I only have a facebook (which i never use )and I don't even have a smartphone, but i've still found a few people to hang out with. You need to be more proactive about reaching out to people. Meetups are a good idea. Use your time alone to become a better, more rounded person. If you're interesting and fun people will want to be around you
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>>17388391
I've been going to meetups. I feel like I would be interesting and fun to be with, but if that gets people in your life, I may be mistaken. And then I don't know how to change that for the better.

This is common advice and it hasn't help me, though that doesn't nullify your intention and I'm still interested in hearing back.
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Unfortunately you have to be happy in order to have people in your life (not all the time of course). Try to work on yourself with meeting people as an afterthought. Once you learn to be comfortable alone and start doing things for yourself, you may find more company.
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>>17388423
I do stuff for myself. But still stuck. I'm poor right now, until I work at college in the Fall. So I can't do too much for myself. Then at the commuter college, I try to make friends while doing stuff for myself but no one wants to stay in touch. Maybe because I'm 23.

Even with all the advice I've read over years in books etc., I'm stuck in a circle.
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Social media makes things easier today. It may be shallow and I only have a facebook to see what my family is doing. Its nice that they update stuff and post photos, feels like Im not completely missing out on things.
I use more direct means to stay in touch with my online friends though. Steam, e-mail, discord and so on.
I too TRIED to be social IRL and so on, eventually gave up. Figured that Im just not for this world, I dont fit in, I wasnt created for this world. Im like some weird alien and I accepted my fate as one, stopped trying. Felt better after accepting that shit.

Just try getting back into social media I guess. Quality over quantity, people are a hit and miss online and offline. You cant, wont and shouldnt get along with everyone so dont meet people expecting to be best of friends instantly, but you will find people that click with you. You might meet them eventually also. Like I have many of my online friends that I knew for years before meeting them.
Bonds are mostly formed online thesedays, but thats my completely fucked perspective saying that.
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short answer, yes, and you don't have to engage in the negative aspects to be socially accepted. all the shit you don't like about snapchat, facebook, whatever is "essential" or more like optimal, you don't have to do that shit. you don't have to shitpost about pokemon go or log on every five seconds, you don't have to snap your dick, etc..
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>>17388485
and when I say it's optimal, I mean you will reap some benefits. you'll be able to get info on people's lives you're curious about, girls you meet in class might be able to hit you up if they like you. you can keep people updated on the aspects of your life that are truly important (if you're using the site properly). it's good.
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What kind of college are you going to? Is this a 2 year? 4 year? Have you looked into getting involved on campus at all?
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>>17388490
>>17388485

I got rid of facebook because I do get addicted to it, genuinely. Plus I don't want a giant database of my entire life's relationships and words said.
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>>17388500
4 year. There's not much campus life since it's a commuter school. Tried some clubs, maybe the school club thing will go better this year, have to wait and see.
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>>17388474
David Bowie felt that way too he said. Alienated. A lot of artists seem to have felt that way. Never hear it much anywhere else.
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>>17388518
Yeah I was a lot like you when I started college but I got involved in a lot of academic clubs mock trial, debate, Shakespeare society etc. I don't know how vibrant campus life is like at a commuter school. What was great about these clubs was that they were small and focused. We all got close because we were a small group working towards a goal or sharing what we loved. Social media is bullshit I have a few close friendships and I don't use any of that garbage
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>>17388512
>addicted to it
implying it's smoking or something. kids in the 80's would sit on the phone for hours talking about life. kids in the 90's would bang on each other's doors. now it's 2016 and, to get info about how your friend's life is doing, all you have to do is click a few buttons. don't fear a more technological future.

also there are positive addictions. "addiction" to facebook is not the same as an addiction to smoking or junk food. also, I am very hesitant to call any habit an addiction, because they are just not the same thing.

>I don't want a giant database of my entire life's relationships and words said.
then don't use any instant messenger these days

I don't want that either, but google, apple, Microsoft, and Facebook now has a ridiculous amount of information on everyone, and if you want to get by there isn't much you can do about it.
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>>17388527
My comp sci club didn't accept my online request to enter, for 7 months. They don't really seem to specify when they meet either, not sure it's actually anything.

There's a pre-law club trying to make mock trials happen, they just started in the spring. Didn't have time to join but been in contact. Ahh I'm too burned out to type this shit right now it's probably boring for you to read anyway haha.

Yeah, so more investing time into clubs. I'm 23 so the age gap with most students sucks.
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>>17388546
I've quit smoking too.

Both of them, I have dreams that I'm doing it again and feel guilty. Not gonna bother arguing though.
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Wait, do you actually think having social media will change your life or something, OP? If you can't make connections irl, do you really think Facebook will make things any different?
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>>17388560
Own the age gap man and don't worry about it. Did you just start late? You've done what many people wish they could do! I can't say enough about mock trial, it helped me learn how to speak in front of others, met some of my best friends, and now I'm in law school
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>>17388570
I don't know, hence me asking.
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>>17388576
Took time off because I was undecided between psych and CS; chose CS. What'd you major in? I did mock trial in high school. Want to go to law school after I become financially independent.
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>>17388578
Here's your answer: no, it's not going to change anything
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>>17388569
well I'm interested in what was so bad about facebook for you. did you sink too many hours in? did you think about it all day?
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>>17388578
That guy has a point. Having Facebook will make your social life go smoother. It won't give you a social life.

Having a social life is not easy. Most people accomplish it because many experience a really instinctual need to have one.
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>>17388584
I majored in English, started off on the track to become a teacher. Really glad I switched to law. Damn man! You should definitely do it then!
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>>17388623
Too many hours. And even 3 years later I get impulses to put song lyrics as my status.
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>>17388672
wooowee
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>>17388330
>Are we really all locked in to social media, is it actually vital for a social life?
No. We're not. Life is about choices. You can choose to use social media, and that choice comes with consequences. You can choose to not use it, and that comes with consequences.
> I am lonely 23 year old with no signs of change.
Which has 0% to do with social media and 100% to do with you.
>I've tried many different ways to live a happy life and they've all failed.
And? You have two choices - keep trying or don't. You know what happens if you don't try.
>Thomas Edison's teachers said he was "too stupid to learn anything." He was fired from his first two jobs for being "non-productive." As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. When a reporter asked, "How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?" Edison replied, "I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps."
>She had a sad expression, looked right back at me, and did not wave.
So? It's some random bitch across the street dude, who the fuck cares if she waves, dances, or strips her clothes off and turns into a circus animal. Who cares? Maybe her dad just died. Maybe she broke up with her boyfriend. People don't smile or wave back all the time - it says more about them than it means anything about you.

In general, I think you need to stop feeling so god damned sorry for yourself, strategize about what you want out of life and how to get it, and then W-O-R-K towards it.

Sitting around getting sad because some random hoe doesn't wave is not the path to satisfaction in life.
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eudaimonia
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>>17388704
I am working my ass off actually, during the school year. In the summer I'm going to meetups. So you're wrong to talk like I have opportunities and I'm not jumping on them. That was the whole point of the original post. I've been trying and got nowhere. Who said I'm feeling sorry for myself? You did. I'm sad because I have no friends.
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>>17388738
>She had a sad expression, looked right back at me, and did not wave. Felt bad man.
>Felt bad man
>FELT BAD MAN

>Who said I'm feeling sorry for myself?
YOU did.

I can see now why you're in the dumps. You're not very self aware and like to pretend like you're not being a bitch. You're being a bitch.
>So you're wrong to talk like I have opportunities and I'm not jumping on them.
No shit. People make their own opportunities. Or do you believe all of that Disney shit about "destiny?"
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>>17388757
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>>17388757
You're really wrong and it's not worth getting my jimmies rustled over to explain, since you'll still think you're right. To everyone else in the thread, thanks for the help.
Thread posts: 31
Thread images: 2


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