So I'm considering marriage and therefore I might be proposing soon, especially since my partner has been dropping the usual passive hints. But my haste in proposing is mostly because I must do so before he buys an overpriced, useless ring, which I will beg him so much not to buy, but I'm sure he'll cave in to his parents' pressure and buy one anyway.
My main worries are however, still concerning the wedding. Namely, how bloody catholic he is. I have no idea how to approach this without at least someone being upset. I inquired with his church about wedding arrangement, and already they are aggressive in randomly shoehorning in that marriage is between a man and a woman, even though I am clearly a woman and he is clearly a man and male homosexuality is illegal here. They apparently also insist that divorcees are not welcome to have a catholic wedding (I knew this was a thing during Henry VIII's reign but I was shocked to hear this is still a thing) that rule does not concern me but just strikes me as archaic. To further leave upon me a bad impression, they keep urging me to convert to Catholicism and "heavily discourage" that I try to have any kind of wedding solemnization and/or ceremony and/or blessing service while I am still a heathen agnostic. And also that my to-be-fiancé should very much know that he is to have his wedding in that church and nowhere else or even other churches, or God forbid, participate in one of those satanic town hall civil marriages with me (just in case he does so to avoid all this fuss)
And I know he does not want to "avoid all this fuss" because he is like that girl who dreams from young of a full Mass wedding and abysmal white gown, except he is the groom. Well I guess, god help him then with the staggering cost of that, but I am afraid he'll whine to me about my passive participation and unwillingness to foot any part of the bill
But yes, the thing is, I have no idea what to do now. The tentative plan is to have the solemnization and paperwork done at town hall, then a round of vows and ceremony and reception and whatnot in a gothic party setting I want, followed by another round of vows (now with blessings) and ceremony and reception and his-parents-tormenting-me at the church. How to get the stupid church to agree- no bloody idea. How to explain to my parents "hi I know you both hate Catholics, now you can either go to a weird, gothic party-wedding otherwise populated by us whippersnappers and too much rock music, also with both bride and groom in dark-colored suits and serial-killer animal masks, or show up to a painfully traditional catholic wedding"- zero idea how to broach that either
He also seems highly anathema to my suggestion that maybe no one's family needs to know we're married. But really, I know a friend who eloped and then her family forced her to have a "proper" (overpriced) white wedding inviting them, and then "roasted" her on stage. Why does this world have so many assholes, isn't a marriage about the couple and not a bunch of bloody fuckers barging in, demanding to be let in like a wedding is some kind of free entertainment for the family