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My girlfriend is the love of my life, I can't imagine my

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My girlfriend is the love of my life, I can't imagine my life without her

But she's emotionally and even sometimes physically abusive. I can't stand the constant threats to cheat when she's upset or jealous over the littlest things, constantly telling me she doesn't love me then rarely rectifying it and saying she does

I know she loves me deep down inside because of she she still logs in to Skype and messages me saying sarcastic mean things, but I know inside she's hurting and feeling hurt but she loves me but she also wants us over. So confused

How do I leave my emotional abuser when I know she still loves her, and I love her enough to still care about her feelings of missing me?
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i have the exact same problem except my gf is also gaining weight and im starting to find her less attractive. she won't change op. she's always gonna be that way. and if yall get married shes going to step it up a notch and say shes going to divorce you every time she gets mad. if you want something better there's always women out there (assuming you're a normie who has somewhat regular social skills, even within nerds) who won't say that hate you on a normal basis.
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does her name start with a?
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>>17385507
Is it worth putting up with the abuse and just staying with her?

I feel like if I give up on her and us, I'm giving up on the concept of love itself and will never find a true nice love like I had with her again.
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>>17385526
trust me bruh, shes going to get more physical and more abusing vocally because it seems like you let her do it just so she doesnt get even more mad. basically, you're in a relationship with someone who's bullying you. you're not happy. shes not making you happy. it doesn't make sense to stay with her. she won't change or if she does it's only for a couple of days and then she'll go back to being old self.


is she your first girlfriend?
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>>17385563
Yes she is my first real girlfriend
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>>17385620
Not that guy, but on the same train of thought. Look at it this way: you know no better right now. You haven't experienced someone actually appreciating and loving you.
You said you feel like you won't find a true love again, but bro, you haven't found true love. You love her, but she is an emotionally stunted person. She only half loves you. She doesn't feel bad about how she treats you, bro, please try to understand that.
You d serve someone who deserves your love, appreciates your love, and gives you that same love in return.
I promise you, If she truly loved you she wouldn't treat you like that.
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Watch this:

https://youtu.be/wXXUAEvbW9o

Still seem like such a good idea?
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You have to realize that you not being able to imagine your life without her is part of the power she holds over you. If you were to actually distance yourself from her, you would see her behavior even more clearly than you do now, and would not love/miss her that much anymore because of it. You would sooner or later meet someone who is also interesting, engaging and sexy, but also treats you with love and respect. Right now you are very invested in what you have together, and you have to work at gaining more faith in your own personal potential.

One thing that is helpful to tell yourself is that she needs to change. If she doesn't, no one will stay with her and she will die a lonely death. Nothing that you can do or say to her will have the effect of a wake up call the way that leaving her will. Perhaps not even that is enough, perhaps she needs to be left by multiple people in life before she starts seeing the pattern and her role in it, but it is the first step towards not just helping you but helping her.

Do you think she can be happy the way she is? Can you imagine how she would treat her children, and what she would implictly or explicitly teach them about what treatment to expect from the world? Right, so you need to not indulge her behavior and pretend that it is acceptable by staying around. You have to break her bubble of delusion, even if just for a moment of clarity, and choose for yourself and your own future without her constant harrassment casting its shadow over it.

The longer you wait, the more shit you will have to heal from once you're free.
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>>17385515
My ex's name starts with an A and she's a proper crazy cunt.
Almost on par with OPs in terms of craziness.
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I'm in kind of a similar situation. It hasn't gone as far as threatening to cheat or saying she doesn't love me. The thing is I can't tell if the way I've been treated is abusive. I could leave whenever I wanted to, but I still stay.

She's hit me a few times, only really hard once. But what's more impactful to me is how she's constantly angry at me now, and it wasn't always like this. She'll take out her anger on me when she's frustrated about things, and she'll get unreasonably upset when I do anything wrong. She'll tell me I'm a bitch or an idiot. And then she apologizes. But it keeps happening. It's just how constantly that she puts me down and snaps at me that makes me feel kind of emotionally abused.
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>>17385704
>>17385515
G-guys pls
t a femanon who's name starts with A
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Bro I know exactly how you feel. I was in the same situation. She was my first girlfriend and I was absolutely head over heels with her. And just like you, I refused to leave her, even though I was being treated like absolute garbage. Not getting the fuck out and putting up with all her emotionally abusive shit almost destroyed me. Make no mistake; this person will eventually leave you. I know you won’t listen to any of us who say you should break it off. I know this because I was the same. But just so you know, it’s going to get a lot worse.
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>>17385757
Me too except she never apologizes

I come on to talk to her on the phone a couple minutes late? Immediately she snaps and says off wanking to porn? Off looking for sluts? I'm not enough. Things to that effect. Then she calls me a fucking loser, says she doesn't love me, says she can fuck whoever she wants, and before I know it she's spiraling off saying we're over and she doesn't want me. I say "Last chance, stop this. Tell me the truth do you love me?" and she says "No I don't" but then I know she still cries at night missing me after a few days and will come back to me any time I initiate contact.

It's hard to leave her because I truly love her even despite this abuse. I fantasize about marrying her some day, our life together, our amazing moments together. I love her so much

I think she has borderline personality disorder, and if this is truly a medical issue for her and I give up on her because of that...? Am I an asshole, giving up on a partner who simply has an issue but I still love her and she still loves me? Do I deserve love after giving up on mine due to a medical issue? But this isn't just a medical issue it impacts us and it ruins my life and drives me towards suicide

So hard
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>>17385776
if ur not crazy then we arent reffering 2 u
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>>17385818
I don't think it can get worse

She's already flirted with other men, asked them for pics of their dicks and sent them to me then told me to cry in the corner like a fucking baby and I need to deal with the fact that she doesn't love me anymore. Of course after a few weeks we were back to normal but this scarred me forever

"Btw I fucked him that's how I know that pic was his real cock, I fucked him and he's way bigger than you"

I will never know whether that's true or whether she just said it to hurt me, but I just suspect deep down it's a lie to hurt me and she's simply insecure

Can I leave her because she's insecure or is that me being heartless? It's such a hard decision, I feel like crying at being a pussy
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>>17386098
What if she's laying on her death bed some day and she thinks to herself, "I miss anon" with anon being me? What if I'm not there for her? What kind of a person am I? What kind of a person can I be if I can't take up with a couple words? A couple mean words from her when she's update

I'm crying. What do I do. God help me, I wish a God existed and I wish I still believed in it, it used to make the world better then I was a kid but I have nothing left now but knowledge of the realities of human life and how horrible it is

How can I abandon her by letting her pretend to leave me in an upset fit, letting her do it so it becomes no longer pretend? Kill me
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>>17386154
You're way too codependent and this chick is emotionally unstable. The heathy thing for you to do is leave her.
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>My girlfriend is the love of my life, I can't imagine my life without her


that means you are weak willed

>But she's emotionally and even sometimes physically abusive. I can't stand the constant threats to cheat when she's upset or jealous over the littlest things, constantly telling me she doesn't love me then rarely rectifying it and saying she doe

this means you are a cuck

>I know she loves me deep down inside

no you dont

>How do I leave my emotional abuser

tell her to get the fuck out
There see how easy that was
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>>17386089

If people are willing to put effort into living with/ridding themselves of/lessening their mental disorders and you love them, you should stick by them. If they continue to wallow in their problems and refuse to try and get better, youre under no obligation to stay with them. It's give and take. You suppot her and she tries to get better both for you and herself. So you should tell her about how you think she has a disorder - she could fly off the handle but just discuss gently with her. If she goes batshit and refuses to budge, you shouldnt put the effort into helping her if she wont help herself. Also, abuse is not love. Threats to cheat are not love. If you're sure she loves you, tell her to stop these shitty habits now.
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>>17385497
I really hate people like you.
You come here asking for advice and is not willing to make any change at all; why come if all you're gonna say is that you can't do what is obviously the right thing to do?
You make people write walls of text trying to help you only to disappear or say you'll do nothing.

I should work on it because hate is not good but i really hate people like you.
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>>17386216


cause people like that dont want advice, they want validation of their beliefs

they dont want change, they want someone to tell them to keep on getting fucked
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>>17386216
Believe me I hate myself more than you hate me.
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>>17386230
I know you do, nobody with self-respect is on an abusive relationship.
What makes me mad is that you refuse to change and yet complains about it. If you want to be sad for the rest of your life i couldn't care less, but don't make others try to help you.
>>17386222
Yeah, that bothers me so much.
I'm trying to let it out to see of the hate stops, though.
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>I know she loves me deep down inside because of she she still logs in to Skype and messages me saying sarcastic mean things

No, that's still abuse you're describing.

Being in love includes being happy and trusting your partner, neither of which either of you are doing, and you're not going to start while stuck in a shitty relationship.

Dump her and tell her to go to therapy. In fact you should go to therapy too to find out why you'd want to spend time around such a cruel person.
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/adv/ needs a sticky that reads: YOU CAN'T CHANGE OTHER PEOPLE. MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.

I mean, fuck, schools should hand out flash cards that say this.
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>>17386275
But I miss her
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>>17386423
And i miss my ex-best friend, doesn't meam moving on wasn't the best decision.
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>>17385704
Yeah so my was mine, this is why I asked that question. Imagine if we dated the same girl, fuck man. What did her second name start with?
Thread posts: 29
Thread images: 2


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