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Bipolar girlfriend

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>get close with bipolar girl
>we start dating officially the day after she starts a manic episode
>first week is fine but awkward at times
>she starts getting suicidal and goes to a menta hospital
>checks out a couple days later but won't talk to me
>she's been ignoring al my texts and calls for a week
How am I supposed to handle this; because I have clinical depression and being ghosted like this is kind of killing me.
Several of my friends said she's probably just embarrassed so I need to give her time, and to just keep reaching out; but it's been a full week and when I'm not hopeful that she's gonna get back to me soon I feel suicidal honestly
>>
I've been through that bro.
The relationship probably won't work anyway. It's best you don't hold your breath
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>>17382981
Full blown crazy, normally I'd say get some of that wild sex and run, but you don't want to involve yourself further with a girl like this
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>>17382981
Oh for christ sake
You knew you were packing yourself in shit FIRST TIME YOU POSTED ABOUT IT HERE
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>>17382992
>>17382994
But I really like her, love maybe?
I understand the difficulty of mental illness so I want to accommodate and be with her but being ghosted or just ignored for long periods in general always makes me incredibly depressed; is there just some way I can "force" her to reply?
I mean I can't even properly break up with her if I wanted to do that because she won't reply.

I just don't understand how someone goes from saying they love me and all kinds of really sweet affectionate stuff to ignoring me for more than a week
I've tried texting or calling her basically once a day; but I get nothing
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>>17382994
Do you know how hard good sex is to quit? I can honestly say that I stayed in a crazy relationship for a year too long because we clicked so well on a physical level.
>that unnatural level of subservience and libido
>>
>>17383010
Lol
Yeah but that time she had just gone to the hospital she wasn't fucking ghosting me
Can I even break it off without telling her?
And trying to move on doesn't change the fact that this is really hurting me so idk anon @[email protected]
How to get over it asap then?
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>>17382981

I've dated crazy: bipolar, massive depression, borderline personality disorder, self-harm chicks who cut themselves and ones with severe Daddy issues.

You need to cut the bitch loose before she does something that fucks up you life.

Or you can stay with her and worry constantly about when the next 'episode' is going to occur.

It's stressing; to the point where I was losing hair and starting to get a few grey hairs.

Might hurt a lot now but in the long run it's worth it.

There's a much better grill out there for you but you'll never find her since you're too busy babysitting this wreck.
>>
>>17383090
I mean I'm not saying I'm the sanest girl myself I selfharm relatively often I've attempted suicide half a dozen times but I've done it wrong or been stopped each time

Outside of being a bipolar this girl is way more stable/productive than me; which is why I liked her so much;
>24 has had consistent high-ish laying professional jobs since leaving high school; worked and went to university at the same time; super intelligent; is independent and supports herself;
A real fuctional adult basically
She also takes medication for all her shit and is in therapy and such; idk I guess maybe I just saw her as a very "managed" crazy, since she's only off the rails a few days out of the year.
And I actually called her parents (who she stays in contact with and was visiting before the hospital trip) and she's "doing well, and seems happy" so idk anon it's probably better for myself to try and let this go; but I can't for some reason
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>>17383114

Are you attracted to her or the idea of her?

She's mentally ill but still managed to be successful.

That's something you're not but want.

Everything has risk; is she worth it?

Can you handle her when she's having episodes and you're also having an episode?

I stress out when it comes to money and was with a grill who had massive depression; she loved clothes, makeup and going out. She did this to fight off her depression.

I took care of all the finances but in the end, I couldn't refuse her anything so we were always just barely above being broke.

It affected me to the point where it was effecting all other aspects of my life.

Only you know what you want and what you're willing to risk.

What's your gut say?
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>she's been ignoring al my texts and calls for a week

She probably manned up and did the deed anon.

She has experienced the sweet comfort of death... Why dont you?
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>>17383154
she's alive, thanks though
>>17383132
yeah see, my gut is telling me to tough it out, but my "logic" is the side of me that says drop her.
>Can you handle her when she's having episodes and you're also having an episode?
well, this is sort of whats going on right now, and i'm not doing terrible with it i guess.

ironically, our situations are reversed from yours, she's very good about managing her money, i'd be the one to just binge spend and do stupid stuff monetarily.
>Are you attracted to her or the idea of her?
hmm. i think a little bit of both. i am definitely attracted to her as a "concept" but i am attracted to her also. thinking about it, her looks (which i do like, dont get me wrong) are one of the things i'm ambivalent about
i mainly like her for her intelligence and tenacity I guess.

when she was around i was actually doing alot better mentally; prior to that i was doing pretty terribly; so i might be attached to her making me 'feel good' so to speak
>>
I know someone who dated a bipolar girl. Really nice, really cute, but she abused drugs to cope and was all over the place. They broke up after two years - he said he couldnt handle it. But after a month apart, they are back together. Dont have any advice, just sharing a random life experience.

>>17383016
>I just don't understand how someone goes from saying they love me and all kinds of really sweet affectionate stuff to ignoring me for more than a week
literally bipolar disorder
>>
Didn't anyone point out to op of the first rule of dating?

Never date crazy.


Pump and dump op.
You don't have to worry about hurting her as she is already acting mental over trivial stuff, there is a good chance she probably won't even notice.
>>
>>17383311 #
I'm not that kind of girl.
>>17383282 #
Well yeah but she's on medication she goes to therapy more than the once a week, I just wasn't expecting just a stark contrast and it's not even like she's doing anything BUT ignoring me

That experience is interesting, this girl used to do heroin; but she's been clean for a year and some change
>>
>>17383463
you're going to have to just spill your guts. I know it's hard to just say everything you're feeling, times like this are the hardest. but after dealing with years of emotional distress i've come to find out when someone really loves you, they feel your pain with you.

there is the possibility that she relapsed, it might be the case that you'd need to get the cops involved in case that she did.
>>
>>17383563
if she relapses after a year chip she will be distraught, you better make sure you mentally prepare yourself for that, since she will need a lot of support from now on.
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>>17382981
L E A V E

You will regret staying.
>>
I bet she browses /adv/ man, you're fucked. hell maybe I could be her.
>>
Sounds like you both belong in a padded cell.
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>>17383566
She hasn't relapsed as far as I know
I could totally call her parents again but I think that would be creepy and weird?
>>17383563
Okay do you really think so?
I sent her this text a few days back; but otherwise all my texts and voicemails have been little more than "I hope you're okay and I hope to hear from you soon"
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>>17383667
Are you her? Why won't you call be back? I miss you idgi
>>17383678
Only if we're in it together
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>>17383679
Why would you call her weird, she's clearly sensitive and vulnerable right now and extremely self-conscious about what happened.
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>>17383696
Because I was angry and sad over having been ignored /:
I know it was a bad move but when I sent it that was be being nice
The first thing she did after checking Out of the hospital was to go talk to people who weren't me; but say "i need to talk to my girlfriend " and she did that twice in the same day but never contacted me and it infuriated me and made me very sad

What would you suggest I say? And should I say it via text or voicemail?
Today; I've said pic related every other day I only sent one message
>>
So adult wisdom says neither of you should be in a relationship and will likely just reinforce each others unhealthy behavior.

If you want to be compassionate about it, back off for a bit, be available, be supportive without being overbearing.

other thing is take care of your self first,
you're no good for someone else if you yourself are freaking out.
>>
>>17383742
Do you think so? I had considered that'd we would exacerbate each other's problems but she was actually helping me a lot; and I seemed to be helping her somewhat; at least until she went to the hospital
She told me that she's bad with intimacy and that's kind of obvious at this point but unlike she who is like a real adult I'm only barely functional most of the time honestly

Am I being overbearing?? How do I stop that
>>
Hey OP,

My dad is bipolar and my parents have a great marriage. Just remember that just because someone is bipolar does not mean they have the right to take you down with them. That is a flaw of the individual, not the disease.
>>
>>17383856
This is a very new relationship but I don't think she's intentionally trying to take me down, I mean historically she's very incontrol of her condition so that's why I can't make sense of her ignoring me like that

We've not been together long, but I would be open to marrying her (in like a year or two or three) so I do want to have a happy and healthy relationship with her and I think that's definitely possible.....I'm just not really sure how to handle all this; it's painful enough her dissppesring like this but then I'm getting so many mixed messages from the few friends I have as well as here so idk what is the right or "best" choice. I know what I want obviously but that doesn't account for much
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>>17383869
at this point we need to know everything to help you, because common to contrary belief on /x/, humans don't all have psychic powers.
>>
>>17382981
I dated three bipolar girls
Anon, never again. If a girl looks suspicious I try to find out if she has any diseases and trick her into believing I'm tolerant to anything bit if they tell me about bpd I ditch them
If you want to have stable relationship you'll enjoy -- don't date people with bpd
>>
>>17383919
If you want details, one of the girls cut my throat, another one suddenly started living in a box and hating all the humans, and the third one turn out to be an alcoholic and heavy drug addict (we didn't date for more than two weeks)

If you don't want to babysit the bitch during her instability periods and want to actually enjoy relationship -- redflag bpd

P.S. Dating a cute girl with no mental disorders rn and by far this is my longest and happiest relationship
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>>17383910
that feel when you are so tired you typo harder than bricks
>>
>>17383910
Quit being a dick both of the bitches are crazy
>>
>>17383132
>with a grill who had massive depression; she loved clothes, makeup and going out. She did this to fight off her depression.

I took care of all the finances but in the end, I couldn't refuse her anything so we were always just barely above being broke.
u fuckin dumbass LMAO
>>
Don't mistake bipolar with borderline.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iihsbrwqZLU


My ex told me she's bipolar just to hide the real deal, you don't want a borderline, you are not a hero, you are not a martyr, you don't really want to, you will regret pretending to be those. Trust me.
>>
>>17384189
No her diagnosis is manic depressive disorder, not borderline

>>17383927
That sounds terrible anon
>>17383910
Sorry.
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>>17384234
I really wish it wasn't the case that I needed more information, but in order to really help someone you need their full story, with only bits and pieces it is sadly impossible to fix anything. like plumbing where the plumber held onto some of the pipes for himself, things won't work with all the required parts. I'm really sorry, and i know how hard it is.
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Thing with bi-polar people is that you do NOT want to date them if you have issues yourself. Combine the mental baggage that they bring with your own issues and you will only completely ruin yourself.
Its a bummer for sure, but it is what it is.

I also learned first hand that mixing a person with mental health issues with another person that has issues never ends well in general, the main reason why I dropped out of the dating game and accepted that I will die alone. It gets easier when you just accept it, in my case atleast.
>>
>>17382981
In the words of the great Nelson Algren,

Never eat in a place called Mom's, never play poker with a guy called Pop, and never fuck anyone crazier than you.
>>
>>17384250
Im sorry anon I thought you were being mocking and sarcastic. Am I mistaken?
I can answer any questions you ask, I don't know what other information I can volunteer
>>17384278
This is how I used to feel; and I was okay with it, but somewhere along the way I gained this unbearably strong desire for companionship, and if I accept that I'm going to be alone forever I really may as well kill myself idk
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>>17384338
I did not mean to offend you or mock you, i meant it to attempt to lighten the whole mood, since i know in a situation like this it would certainly be nice to have some humor. though i sometimes forget my own humor is not extremely common.
Honestly, I'd need to know more about this person's personality, sadly i'm not sure the person in question would be absolutely enthralled by someone releasing enough information for someone to profile her (which is what would be needed to analyze and predict a good course of action) so honestly whatever you think she'd be comfortable with people knowing.
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>>17384349
Oh.
well I wasn't offended this is 4chan so I know what to expect

It's probably easier for you to ask me questions and then me answer them, but off the top of my head, some traits: she's autistic (legitimately but she's low on the spectrum); she's a liberal Jew, she's pretty creative I think, bc she's a writer.

Humor is appreciated though thanks I think
>>
>>17384384
good starting questions for getting a picture of someone's personality.

do you know much about her childhood

any traumatic or extremely negative experiences as an adolescent

what do you know of her early home life

any bad past relationships
>>
i happened to be listening to crazy by gnarls barkley prior to finding this thread. served for a chuckle
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>>17384393
Lol
>>17384390
Childhood no;idk much, but she did tell me she was sick a lot, and she's also eldest of three. but she was a star athlete in high school (she's transgender)

She was married once right after high school but that ended terribly; the wife was schizophrenic apparently, and also had a miscarriage.
Her other long term relationships she implied ended bc she's distant and aloof, see pic related
She's grey I'm blue
>>
>>17384414
god, that hits me right in the feels. I myself have been described like that for the same reason. but fuck, her life seems seriously fucked. now knowing this, you probably really hurt and scared her when you implied breaking up with her. people like us aren't too good at talking with folks so the best way to do this (or the worst way if i am misreading this horribly) is to put her in a situation where she is comfortable-ish but force her to actually talk with you. contact her parents and get them to bring her over and wait there, confront her and try to get her to realize you do care about her. the biggest problem is that when we percieve a problem we either fix it immediately or try to avoid it, it looks to me like she thinks she ruined the relationship. and you have reinforced that assumption in your own frustration. honestly, i think you're going to have to ask yourself this: "am i really okay with just letting her slip away?" if the answer is no, you're going to have to force yourself into her life again.
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>>17384431
shit
So I fucked it up, alright. That puts the ball in my court, I feel more in control and less helpless now.

I didn't want to force a confrontation because of the plain awkwardness of it, but that has been occurring to me all week. I was really hurt and frustrated when I made that implication I shouldn't have done that but I didn't know what to do.
>"am i really okay with just letting her slip away?"
No I absolutely am not; especially since we started with friendship and she originally prefaced her telling me that she was attracted to me with something like "I want to be friends so we can stay friends a long time, I don't want to fuck it up".
So I at least want to remain friends.

Forcing a confrontation though....I mean she is autonomous and has a car; getting her parents to bring her somewhere would be weird? Should I ask to come to their house and see her?? That's an incredibly strange way to meet her parents; I'm wondering about the impression that might leave on them....then again; I already called her dad like some sort of stalker so I guess I can't make it worse, right?

Okay so tomorrow I call her parents again--what should I say?
>>
>>17384457
just tell them the truth: you and her are going through a rough patch and you want to talk it out, but she won't talk to you and you're really worried, trust me, her parents have more than likely had a similar problem.
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>>17384472
Okay
I'm gonna have to write down what I'll say because that's gonna make be nervous as hell. I know she told her parents about me, but I do not know what she said.....when I called the first time I said I was her "friend" should I say I'm her girlfriend this time?
>>
>>17384479
I definitely suggest you do write down or heavily try to memorize it, but make sure it comes from the heart. when the time comes most people know what to say.
>>
>>17384485 #
Alright.
Thank you for your help anon; hopefully this solution works and resolves everything; i really like this girl; so I'd hate to never speak to her again; I want to at least remain her [close] friend.
>>
>>17384502
i hope things go well, and I'd love to hear about it, i guess i'll leave my burn e-mail here: [email protected]
>>
>>17384504
Alright anon; thanks
I took your email down I'll message you right
>>
>dating a crazy bitch
OP is a retard
>>
>>17383154
>it's a trebuchet thread

Finally I get to post this
>>
>>17384278

If people with mental health issues never dated or got with anyone, nobody would ever fuck and the human race would die

Unless you're schizo with paranoid delusions or homicidal or something, you'll be fine with dating. You're human. In the end everyone just wants to love and be loved.
>>
>>17385621
true
>>
>>17382981
>>get close with bipolar girl

Stop right there. I didn't even need to read the rest. Stable people are more likely to have stable relationships. People with mental health issues certainly shouldn't seek each other out for relationships, you can't put together two people with disorders and expect anything good to come of it.
>>
Run the other way friend.

bi-polar and borderline women will destroy your soul as they keep you clinging to hope.

They seek our compassionate people, and they push them away. They are amazing to be with while they are up, but will shit all over you or just disappear when they are down, and do all sorts of horrible shit without a thought for you.

If she comes back it will be to string you along and get whatever validation shes requires before fucking you over again and again.

This is just how they are. They are not capable of love and have no empathy.

Please, for your own sake, just forget her, and ignore her if she ever pops back up. Shes NOT worth it.
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>>17385579
I get to expand my collection
>>
>gf gets suicidal
>makes me suicidal
Oh yeah, this is going to work out just fine.
>>
>>17383016
You both suffer mental illnesses that are fundamentally incompatible. You can't force her to contact you any more than you can force yourself to be okay with the fact that she won't contact you.

>>17383739
>>17383679
These are all fucking horrible things to lay on a person who's just been discharged from a hospital after a suicidal episode btw. Way to make it all about you.
>>
>>17383679
>You're out of hospital? How dare you not tell me, what are you crazy or something? But I still care about you, because I'm such a good person, you're so lucky to have me.
>btw you're being a really shitty person right now, it's not like you're ill or anything you're just blatantly wronging me, me being the kind patient partner who still cares about you despite how shitty you are, so you'd better contact me soon before I decide you're not worth my time.

>>17383739
>your mental illness is really starting to bum me out, have you tried not being mentally ill? It's pretty inconvenient for me, what about my feelings? Why are you so shitty? In addition to maliciously hurting my feelings with your illness (my feelings being far more important than yours) it's also allowing me to create awkward situations for myself as I continue to stalk you, so I blame you for that. Also, you're a fucking weirdo and an embarrassment, but that's okay, remember I'm an amazing person who likes you despite all your shittiness, so stop being a crazy person, it's really getting annoying. Disregard my autistic inability to take a hint, clearly you're the one with the problem here if I keep contacting you and get nothing back.
>>
>>17388366
me again.
Now that I've read >>17384414, multiply all this shit by 100, holy fuck OP. Just leave this poor girl alone before you really fuck her up. She fucking warned you and you still managed to respond about as retardedly as possible.
>>
>>17388366
This.
How you responded was very terribly. She is trying to pull herself together and you kind of made it worse, not by trying to contact her but by the way you contacted her.
>>
>>17382981
I don't know the issue, nor care as people have responded.

What I want to know is where you got that ass pic from, it's delicious!
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