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Accepting an ex's new relationship

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A few years ago my ex dumped me in a bit of a shitty way and the breakup was a bit bitter (for me, at least), but in the end we parted ways amicably. I don't want her back, and yet I can't handle the fact that she's been in a happy relationship since a few months after we broke up, whereas I've been single. Even though I no longer have her on social media, I still come across pictures of her and her boyfriend and it literally makes me feel sick and depressed. If I heard the news that she was pregnant and/or engaged to the guy (which is getting more and more possible, seeing as she's 23 and has already been with him a couple of years), I literally don't know how I'd take it - I think I'd be in a pretty deep depression for a couple of weeks at least. I don't know why I have such a strong reaction, I guess I just don't want her to have gone so easily into her perfect relationship straight after she used me. But when I think about it rationally, I know that she's a nice girl, and I'd really love to be able to be genuinely happy that my former friend has met someone who makes her happy.

So how can I stop having such a negative reaction when I hear about her relationship? How can I stop caring, or even learn to be happy for her?
>>
Also, inb4:

>Just move on
>Stop thinking about her
>Let it go man

All the time I tell myself that it's fucked how crazy I still am about a girl from years ago (especially as our relationship was only short), but just realising that doesn't help. Telling myself that I need to move on doesn't actually help me move on.
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>>17382872
The answer is literally stop being a bitch.

I dated a year for two years and was on the verge of getting married when we broke up.

I literally just moved on and you are literally just being pathetic because you're clinging to something you have no control or interest in anymore.

It's like buying stock in a company and then deciding to sell all your stock and then being pissed that the company isn't making you any money.

Just stop being a dumb bitch.
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>>17382970
>stop being a bitch
>Just stop being a dumb bitch

Whilst I appreciate the response, that sort of falls under >>17382876 . Yeah I realise that I'm being pathetic, but how can I stop being pathetic? How do I stop caring? What do I actually do? Believe me, nothing in the world would make me happier than to move past this, because it's made the last few years of my life shit.
>>
Man, this hits close to home.

Ex dumped me too and in less than a month she is seeing this other guy, I mourned for a while but then I realized that I had to just move on. Add to that the fact that I took off the rose-colored glasses after a retrospective, she was kinda manipulative and troubled.

I still wish her the best but I don't want to see her again, the best I can do today is realize that those things are on the past and it doesn't matter who fault it was, its over, it doesn't matter if she is in a relationship and I'm not, if I fucked up then I won't commit the same mistakes with another person. In the meanwhile I'm focusing in improving myself in character and physically, there is plenty of room to improve and to feel that you're going somewhere even if there is not a person with you today, if you're getting better at whatever you want you'll have more chances of achieving something nice in the future.

Don't get stuck dude.
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>>17383015
I just gave you the answer asshole. You just don't see it as an answer because you're too busy feeling pity for yourself.

There's not magic pill. No one's going to come in and give you a step by step about it faggot.

>it made things bad for me
>why does it make me feel bad

"It" doesn't do anything. You do it and you insist on being a faggot about it. I could understand a bad day and the first few weeks after the break up.

After years, it's all you being a faggot. Once you accept this is all you, you'll be on the road to recovery.

P.S. All this "yes I know it's me but help me" bullshit is just you preemptively dismissing the answer you're already aware of.
>>
https://www.google.com/search?q=how+to+move+on&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&gws_rd=cr&ei=W6WSV6GgO6vLjgSG8LuYCA
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>>17383036
He is right, OP. If you honestly wanted to get over it, you would. You are choosing to keep holding on.
Rip off the band aid. You got this.
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>>17382872
Why aren't you the least bit angry about it? You should feel angry for being used. This anger will motivate you to stop caring about her. Eventually you will just forget about her. People say anger is unhealthy, but I personally find that it has its uses if you can channel it properly. It often motivates me to make positive changes to my life.
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>>17383036
>>17383046
So as soon as I start calling myself a faggot I'll start feeling OK again? I'll be able to listen to a mutual friend telling me all about her marriage and it just won't hurt me anymore?

>>17383050
I was angry for a while at first, and still feel it now, but it doesn't really achieve anything. Whether or not I make her feel bad about how she treated me, she's still happier in this new relationship than she was with me and I have to accept that. Plus she'd been going through a tough time herself, and gave me a full and genuine apology when she saw how hurt I was. She just didn't want to get back together, and I can't carry on being angry about that.
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>>17383079
You are a whiny faggot OP. Get over it.
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>>17383079
Use >>17383038 ffs. There's no magic pill or word that's gonna make it go away. At worst, go see a therapist.
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>>17382872
Focus on your circle of influence. What happens in her life is out of your control and the desire to control another persons situation without the means to, leads to frustration.

Detaching from her social media was a good idea. Just make sure that when you come across something that reminds you of her life, "punish" yourself in a positive way. Do some fucking pushups until your heart is racing and you can't feel your arms. Take all that anger and sadness and use it as fuel to do the things you never could have done with her. She was holding you back. Set yourself some goals to better your life so when you think about her, you feel sorry for her because she fucked up and missed out on the boss ass person that you turned out to be and she will never get you back.
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God OP, do I know these fucking feels.
My ex and I were together for 5 years, he broke up with me after 3 years of me being miserable -- honestly I was the one who truly was upset. I had been meaning to break up for a long time but wanted to wait til my 21st so I could be with my friends, since if we broke up I'd have to move states. That didn't happen, and I was over him really quickly to be honest. Now I have a great boyfriend and friends, but holy fuck I still talk to him/think about him all the time, and I'm even slightly jealous that he has a GF in the UK (he lives in USA) even though my bf lives in the same state as me! Like I want him to be unhappy and always wanting me for some reason, even though it makes me literally depressed when he's sad and I am destructive to my own self to help him sometimes. Like it is a fucking ball of shit OP.
>TL;DR when someone burns you so bad it's incredibly hard to just let go even if you are over said person
My advice? Focus on yourself, self improvement is life long, you may not need to grind but start some hobbies, exercise more to feel better, eat better, hang out with friends more and most importantly, get someone who you enjoy enough to be with! And know you're not struggling alone.
Thread posts: 14
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