My dad is racist and kind of a scumbag, but is also my dad. He finds out about my partner of one year because he has nothing better to do but stalk people on the internet. Barrages me for weeks with hateful messages. Enlists in family's help to guilt tripping me over the phone at every turn.
I live away from home, I'm grown, I'm not dependent on my family whatsoever. I know that with all the other stress in my life, I don't need this weighing me down.
But it still does; I have constant anxiety and I can't sleep at night. I can't even check my e-mail anymore, and if I'm away from my phone for too long I have to ask someone to check my messages for me because I can't stand to look for myself. I carry tons of guilt and grief when I know that it's not my fault I was raised by ignorant people.
I don't know where to find relief if it exists for me. Do I act on this or just keep ignoring it hoping it will go away?
If this partner is someone you are going to marry, you could try three routes
First is to continue on as you have been and hope that you grow some tougher skin
Second is to force an ultimatum where if they do not accept your terms then they will be blocked and cut out of your life. I don't really advise this because you cant back down if they don't accept, and you risk losing your family.
Third is to force a meeting between partner and family members. Show them that partner is a good person and will take care of you.
>>17379941
There's no use in trying to diplomatically end this in good terms with people like that.
OP if you think your family can understand your relationship with your partner go for the third option anon wrote, but based on your OP i think it would make the situation worse than it is now, so i would go for the ultimatum.
>>17379941
I am very serious about this relationship. I do, however, already feel a strong disconnect from my family. I always have, though, growing up.
>>17379951
I also think the third option would be the most ideal but I don't see a scenario where it would actually end favorably. It's too unlikely.
>>17379922
bumping for more suggestions if any