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What would you do if you were hit with a mental illness out of

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I'm 22 years old now my first episode struck me when I was 17 without any conception. I was then hospitalized in a unit and have been in and out of these psych wards since. Foster family didn't know how to react and aren't educated on mental health so their out of the picture. It's just me now with zero support system and zero friends because of such paralyzing anxiety, depression and hypervigillance. I have ongoing repetitive thoughts of suicide. I can't help but to feel so dissatached and estranged from the world around me. What would you do if you were in my position? I was looking in to electro convulsive therapy and magnectic therapy any thoughts on that?
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>>17379119

earlier this year i developed brain damage, and through the ups and downs of it all i decided that I didnt want to give up, though my giving up option was admittedly a lot more comfy than yours (moving in with parents).
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What made you stand firm on not giving up?
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>>17379140

im not really sure. it was kind of intrinsic. i saw my options in front of me and i came to the realization that i dont want an easy out. life has been enjoyable despite its struggles, and i liked the life i had built myself so wanted to maintain it, even if it meant a lot of changes and hard work to continue seeing the people i like and doing the things i do.
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>>17379119
Lucky you. I don't even know if I'm clinically handicapped or not. I've beennstressing the idea since the age of 18, but I never bothered confirming it at a specialist.
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