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I seriously need help. I tried to buy an assisted euthanasia

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I seriously need help. I tried to buy an assisted euthanasia book and I didn't know you had to be age 50 or more to get it. They charged me anyway and I am trying to get a refund. I was dead set on learning how to make an exit bag. I might just have to pay someone to shoot me. I'm more scared of that option since I won't be in control of it.

Help I really need to die: I have no one, no friends, nothing to do, nowhere to go, no sense of belonging. Social isolation is real, guys
okay I may be going to work but I can still check back from time to time.

Anybody want to make some money? Anybody not care if you kill someone? Anyone want to help me out?
Have you done a therapy. A psychiatrist can help you to change your life. I know this is probably not what you want to hear but consider doing that before you kill yourself.
I have before. All we did was talk. He seemed more interested in making money from me, and was very sad when I couldn't afford him anymore. Also note I've been on antidepressants twice in my life. They didn't do shit, probably because they were both sertraline.

Thank you for your reply but I am honestly at my life's end. If you could help me figure out a way to belong somewhere, that would help more
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How old are you? Surely there are groups to go to, New parts of the world to explore. Get out of your routine, you have to change your mindset. Death is painful and irreversible.

I know this sounds like stock answer bullshit, but I've been there. Now my family think I'm going to jump off a bridge if they say the wrong thing. But I changed my life around; I moved out of the house I was living in, stopped drinking/drugs, stopped seeing the people I saw everyday. It did me wonders; I'm not saying my life's much better, but I don't want to end it, I know life can improve.
I'm 24. If you stopped seeing the same people every day, did you see new or different ones? And how? I think I need to do the same.

I don't really want to die, I just want to be loved and wanted. Social isolation is real
OP, boy or girl?

Killing yourself is dumb. I'm 25, have struggled with depression and social isolation, and for the most part have overcome it.

Look inwards instead of outwards for what you need. You don't need external validation if you like yourself. Find a fucking hobby that doesn't have anything to do with your computer. That shit will eventually lead you to other people that share your interests. Your early-mid 20s are going to be a nightmare no matter who you are.

Tl;dr the worst thing that could happen to you is death. So if you're comfortable with that, stop being afraid of shit. Go out there and do new things, meet new people. You're the only one that matters in your world.

If you are going so far as to make an exit bag, let me suggest hanging.

If done properly one of two things will happen, in a drop hanging you will snap your neck, dying immediately. second you will become unconscious in under 15 seconds, and die unaware in 2 minutes.

My girlfriend slit her wrist, and she bled a lot, but we got her to the hospital in time to be stitched up. She has a huge scar and she didn't die.

slitting the wrist or the throat takes too long, there is a lot of blood and adrenaline so it is awful. Shotgun to the head is the quickest, but the most scary.

For me hanging is the best way to go. If I do it, that is how I will do it.
I'm female. Thank you for your detailed and long reply. I'm not sure if this counts as external validation but I just want to feel that I'm good enough. I know I'm good but I struggle with being good enough. I don't mind my body, I have a nice shape, no weight issues here. It's just being good enough.

Because of the last man I "dated", I now go outside more and participate in outdoor hobbies. As of now I picked up the hobby of assembling models such as cars. I literally picked up my laptop and moved it elsewhere to make room, I haven't touched it in over a month. I used to be a big gamer but I feel much better going to the park after work nowadays. Call me an autist, but working on the model car kits is awesome. Perfect hobby for me: I'm patient, have a fine eye for detail, and I like doing something with my hands.

I just started but it feels like a promising hobby.

Onto the last point, and I've seen it asked here many times before, but, how do I meet new people? Maybe I can even fall in love with someone again?

>your twenties are going to be a nightmare no matter who you are

So if your teens were awful, your twenties are awful, and then you turn 30 and its all down hill from there being an adult and shit and having all of this responsibility, literally what is the point?

I'm soon to be 26. I've been driving my girlfriend around to play pokemon go. And I'm thinking this is what being a dad is going to be like. I'm a glorified chaufer. Gone are the days of being driving to the mall care free. Gone are the days of dinner just being on the table.

Now, not only was being a teenager a waste, now I am suddenly thrown into adult hood, where I have to get married and have children before I'm too old, and then raise those kids to be well adjusted. My life has been a waste. This feeling of being lost and depressed doesn't seem to be going away any time soon, and even if it does, I'll be too old to enjoy it.
Here is where I pussy out. With hanging, a certain formula has to be taken into mind. I have to manage such things as the drop, the thickness of the rope, and other details. It's not foolproof and I'm scared of fucking up.

Staying alive is easier than hanging.

If you can find a way where I can belong and maybe even be loved, that'd be better. This is my last effort, giving life another chance

Falling in love is not a good band aid for wanting to kill yourself. If anything, it'll make life more complicated since you'll still hate yourself but now you have someone you can hurt.

What do you mean by you don't think you are good enough? Is it just a general self esteem thing?
That's exactly what just happened to me. I broke up with my LDR boyfriend of 2 years when I realized I had more feelings for a new boy, someone in real life.

It lasted less than a month. I was still hung over my new ex so it influenced me a lot. Now the real boy (essentially a rebound) is pretending I don't exist and it really hurts. It hurts so much that we were so close and now that closeness doesn't exist anymore. How can that happen? It hurts.

A friend of mine said seriously giving myself a break, because I've never been truely been single. I keep being swept up in relationships with no time to grieve for exes. I don't know why it happens. I never actually pursue people, it just happens.

How can I meet new people? How can I give myself a break? How can I make it not hurt so much?
You're a young girl, pretty sure everyone on /b/ would love you.
Good enough for what OP?

That's a decent enough hobby, I enjoy model kits too, it's been ages though. Tbh if you enjoy model cars you might actually enjoy working on the real deal too.

Just follow your hobbies. Unless you're in the middle of nowhere, chances are there's a makers club near you where you could learn things pertaining to your interests and meet people that share them.

Also, just keep trying new things. You won't know if you enjoy something until you try it, and by adding new activities to your schedule you'll end up in creating more opportunities to meet new people.

Your friend is right. Being single and knowing oneself will allow you to find people that are better for you in the future.

Embrace the hurt and use it for change. Be glad you feel something rather than nothing.
I actually do want to learn about real vehicles but I don't have anyone to teach me. My last "boyfriend" is a mechanic but I feel I blew it with him. But how do you feel about a girl technician?

I want to try to embrace the hurt

Thanks everyone for the great advice. How do you suggest I even begin to learn about vehicles and how they work and how to fix them?
>I was dead set on learning how to make an exit bag.
They don't work nowadays anyhow. Consumer grade "helium" nowadays is actually what SCUBA divers call "heliox": 80% helium, 20% oxygen. And as you might guess from the fact that SCUBA divers have a name for it, it's breathable. Not the atmosphere you're used to, but not deadly.

This was done specifically to thwart exit bags.

>Help I really need to die: I have no one, no friends, nothing to do, nowhere to go, no sense of belonging. Social isolation is real, guys
Social isolation is real, but there are real solutions to it: solutions you can live with. The only catch is that they involve some frightening prospects, but is that so different from killing yourself? One way or another, you will have to fight through some serious fear on truly primal levels. Since you cannot avoid it, why not pick the option that lets you do so and live?
You could go to school for it which would be two birds with one stone or you could do what I did and buy an old motorcycle and look up how to fix whatever, piece by piece online.

And I think girl techs are hot. But once again, it doesn't matter what I think. It matters what you think.
If what you're saying is true than its a disappointment. If it's breathable without dying then what's the fucking point. Thank you for that.

Please go on about the real solutions. I'm interested to learn

Does UTI count? That's where my last "boyfriend" went. To be honest I'd rather be an apprentice to someone since it's how I learn best. By doing and fucking up

Thanks everyone for the advice. I'm still at work but I check back on my breaks
Yes it does OP. And I'm the same way. But if you go to school there's your ticket to meeting people. Especially ones with similar interests.

Currently at work too. Also from what I understood exit bags used nitrous.

Still, don't kill yourself. You'll die in the end so there's no point rushing it lady.

What do you do for work?
Also anti depressants are bullshit. Get some adderall.
I work at Walmart. Been here for about 7 months, the longest I've held a job down so far. I've come a long way, this job is okay but it's not something I'd do forever. I get treated very well and it's not a bad workplace. I just want to move up in life

Thanks for the bump anon

They are bullshit. I was prescribed sertraline both times and all it did was make my brain physically tingle.
Np op, and you should definitely chase something better.

I hate ssri's, psychs prescribe then like candy and give no real instruction as to what you're supposed to be doing while you're on them.

So aside from social alienation and a minor inferiority complex, what else is killing you?
Wanting to be loved but being too unstable to hold a relationship down. I KNOW what will make me happier (I've pinpointed it): being in a relationship. But nope I have to "find myself" and "take a break" first
Well you see op, if you don't do those things first, you're quite possibly going to sabotage yourself again and again. Trust me, it sucks trying to figure your shit out. Especially when you don't know where to start, but you'll be exponentially happier with yourself after the fact, and you'll attract people that are better for you too.
I completely agree and believe you. And I've been there. I keep ruining things time after time because I hastily get into relationships because I hate being alone
Btw I'm off work and can talk more freely.

As an update: I got refunded the money I used to buy the suicide handbook thing. Didn't know it was for people age 50 and older. Nowhere on the internet said there was an age limit, but the ToS probably did and I didn't read them, in my hasty decision
Why do you hate being alone though? As stupid of a question as it may seem, it's something you're going to have to face eventually.
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Thank you

I can't provide an accurate answer. I just feel very scared when alone. Maybe I don't like myself?

Have been doing better lately. Finished up the firebird model and I now moved onto a camaro convertible. Having a lot of fun. Curbed the suicidal thoughts. Doing better now. Thanks for keeping the thread alive

Maybe after I'm done taking a break from relationships, I can find another man? Cuz damn being held and hugged was nice. Maybe he can be into cars somewhat too and teach me things
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