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Help me /adv/ I just matched with a totally cute Korean girl

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Help me /adv/

I just matched with a totally cute Korean girl on Tinder and it's going well. She gave me her number and we connected over our love of our cats. and when I asked if she wanted to go out and do something together she said she wanted to, but she couldn't tonight.

I know this isn't probably the usual thing you get asked here, but I'm 24 and I've never been on a date before. I think she might like me, and I really don't want to blow this somehow.

Any advice you have on going out with a cute Korean girl?
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I'm not don juan, but maybe buy her flowers and tell her how good she looks the next time she comes over. Kiss her on the cheek. Make her feel special, but don't be a cuck
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>>17348149
Buying flowers seems excessive for a first date from Tinder. I was just going to take her out to eat somewhere.
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>>17348156
idk m8, do that then. gl
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>>17348128
You should fall into a deep depression/hatred of women once she inevitably flakes and never meets up with you.
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>>17348173
Or just get good at influencing people
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>>17348149
No. Just no. This post made me do a little poo in my brain.
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Fuck flowers. It's overboard and sets expectations from then on. Take her somewhere nice, but not fancy. Don't take her to a Korean place. You choose because women like a man who makes decisions. Be yourself and remember she's just looking to enjoy herself the same as you. Don't worry about blowing it bc that's how you fucking blow it. Relax, have a good time. Easy peasy. Grab some drinks, loosen up, get to fuckin.
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>>17348178
Why no? People typically aren't that much different from one another. We all share the same desires and needs, and if you meet those needs, then people will zuck ur dick
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>>17348183
Pretty much this.
But always remember to watch yourself. Be outcome-independant. Build attraction as slowly as you sense that she's comfortable with.
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>>17348187
Son, there's plenty of opportunity to screw up during a date, post flower delivery
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>>17348183
I'll keep this in mind. Right now we're just texting, but she just asked if I was looking for a relationship, which was kind of odd. I told her I'm not looking for anything in particular, but open to whatever happens.
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>>17348201
I'll always be alone now.
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>>17348202
I also have to add, she sent me her Linkedin profile as proof, and it's fucking intimidating. She seems smart as fuck, and has a degree and a good job, and has had several good job. She even has several patents on her resume.

I'm kind of a loser in the job market. I have a job that I support myself with, but no degree or anything special.

I'm choosing to just pretend our jobs don't exist, but is there anything I should do about this other than just not thinking about it?
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>>17348213
Do you really want to be with a woman who makes more money and is exponentially more successful than you?
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>>17348202
Just agree in a date already. Talk to her in person, don't risk sperging on the chat before meeting her. Unless you're brilliant at textgame, you should limit writing to her.

And if you do want her for anything other than friendship, remember to not give it all away when you talk with her. Let her do most of the talking, so ask follow-up questions.
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>>17348217
I really don't give a shit about that to be honest. In fact it would be better for one of us to make good money, since I make "meh" money.
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>>17348218
>Let her do most of the talking, so ask follow-up questions.
She's not super talkative. She seems somewhat introverted. She does a lot more responding than prompting, but she just texted me after about a 2 hour break, so that makes me think that she does want to talk, and I'm not being too pushy.
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>>17348224
socializing is a complex task, isn't it?
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I'm the guy who posted the last one ending in 83. You are seriously over thinking this shit. Who the fuck cares about what her credentials are? Nut up or shut up and stop letting her intimidate you and bring out your insecurities. Fucking enjoy yourself, relax, be confident. That will get you further than your fucking credentials.
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>>17348225
Well, for someone like me who is somewhat socially inept, kind of.
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>>17348128
i'm a korean girl so i know some of this.

the factor that would make the biggest difference is: is she fobby or is she more western? is she half-way between these?

generally expect her to be more conservative unless she is full-blown western. i highly caution people who date super western korean girls... most aren't mentally stable, and are self-hating a lot of times. very rare to find a western korean girl who is normal.

holding hands will be uncomfortable for conservative girls. kissing her even more so. you're going to have to wait a very long time for sex.

to give you a measure of just how conservative koreans are,

my best friend arrived in canada since she was 10 years old, she is now 23. i would categorize her under "half way fobby, half way western." she still has very high korean influences. she dated her boyfriend for 5 years, and they didn't have sex until this year. she would've waited longer otherwise but her boyfriend was planning to marry her anyway and he's been asking for ages.

the korean culture is forced on koreans regardless if they lived most of their life in america or elsewhere. they are always reinforced that they will always be korean. this causes either koreans to accept what they are (which end up what i call half-way fobs) or they rebel and become a caricature of what an "american" is; like they will try to out-american you, and it has some really bad results for some people.

any more questions, just ask
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>>17348213
Don't pretend, just don't talk that much about it. You work for money, but what are your interesting hobbies and intriguing interests? Anyway, like I said, ask questions. If any conversational topic ever comes up, that you don't feel comfortable with, let go and find a natural way of moving the topic to something else. Nothing to worry about. If she's got a good job that's even better, as long as you make sure you pay your own bills and expenses. You don't have to pay for her, unless you can tell me your reasons other than buying one of the oldest memes in the world is the galant thing to do.
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>>17348239
Thanks, she seems somewhat in between I think. She's been in America for several years, and oddly enough she works at Dell in the same city that has a HUGE Samsung plant, where 50% of the employees are Korean Koreans, who hardly speak any English, despite being in America.

I can kind of tell by the way she types that English is obviously not a language she grew up with, but one she's fluent in.

She did say she was looking for "something easy without pressure" though, so I don't know what that means other than "don't apply pressure"
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>>17348253
Be casual
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>>17348224
Don't be too needy either. Didn't want to bring it up, but there you go.

She'll be talkative as soon as you give her first reason to trust you, and the quality of your questions are motivated. You'll get a long way in making the date a memorable experience, and you do that by connecting with her. She needs to have fun and feel like you're a pleasant guy, but if you want it to go further, you also got to give her reason to expect that you find her attractive in a sexual way, and it's a good thing if you're content within your skin.

Keywords are smiles and eye contact. Touching is also very very good.
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>>17348239
Listen to this obviously.
My advice is for dating in general.

But also, she could be adopted, yes?
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>>17348253
sounds like she's more korean, i would even say fobby. generally speaking, unless she's lived at least half her life in america, then i wouldn't consider her half way even if her english is fluent. she is 90% more likely to carry traditional korean customs.

koreans (and most people around the world really) have the understanding that americans are more open and sexually active. she wants to take this very slow.

just be polite and gentleman-ly if you really want to win her over. they like the "princess treatment", where you pull out their chairs, open the doors, etc. just be a really nice guy, and sometimes show that confident american charm. (read: out-going and talkative) be very patient.
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>>17348288
Would it be weird or cute to use the two or three phrases of Korean that I know? I actually started learning recently (like literally a week ago, so I know all of 10 words), since I work for Korean company and knowing the language would be helpful, but I don't want her to think that I'm some kind of Koreaboo with yellow fever or anything.
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>>17348299
the more korean you use, the more she will love you. fob koreans love that stuff, i really do encourage you to do this.

koreans don't have that downward look to foreigners trying to understand korean culture like how maybe japan does (japanese weebs are truly disgusting, so i dont blame them), and embrace this fully. half way fobs and western koreans have more of a caution to foreigners like this because they don't want to be a fetish or viewed as a certain flavor. fob koreans don't seem to care as much.

obviously don't tell her "i like you because you're korean", but show appreciation of korean culture and your willingness to learn and participate, and you're pretty much a shoe-in.
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>>17348149
holy shit. so much no.
>go back to /r9k/
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>>17348324
Thanks, that's really helpful. On a related note, assuming you know some Korean, what kind of connotation does "나 너 좋아허" carry? From what I understand it just means "I like you", which seems casual enough for a first date, but I don't want to be saying shit like "I love you" on a first date.
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>>17348377
haha the correct spelling/pronunciation would be "나 너 좋아해"

i would caution against saying that so early, because in korean, it's borderline saying "i love you"... i think it's better if you say it in english because the phrase is a lot more casual in english.
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>>17348377
Jesus dude, you're overthinking this. There might not ever occur a moment when trying to speak a language you don't know is appropriate.
First date's first.
Figure out what to impress her with later in the relationship.
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>>17348444
Well I'm glad I asked then. I'll stick to English Thanks.
>>17348451
The point of the thread was to ask questions. I don't feel like I'm over thinking it. Just thinking of different things and getting a feel for what I might be able to do, and what to rule out entirely. I'm not going to be keeping a book with me on "what to do / what not to do". I just want some general info.
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>>17348470
You wanted specific advice. (Koreankr

I gave you general advice, since you'll need that anyway. (Never been on a date.)
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>>17348488
Both help, so thanks.
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>>17348451
no prob; as a tip, maybe say "정말 예뻐요" (you are gorgeous) instead if you want to flatter her

and slang like "화이팅" (literally "fighting" in konglish) means like "good luck".

so 화이팅 op!
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>>17348534
ah, 곰사 합니다. I'm sure I'd butcher the pronunciation, but I'll keep that phrase in mind.
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>>17348128
JUST KISS HER
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>>17348563
lol on second thought, the misspellings is kind of cute itself, just be you op and have fun :)
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>>17348574
Fuck, well, in my defense I wrote that shit from sounding it out.
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>>17348574
>>17348590
But yes, 감사*
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I do think you should go for it. Also, if the income and education difference was a big issue, she wouldn't date you. (Unless she finds something quite attractive in you and decided to anyways.)

Also, simply preferring to date Korean girls or Japanese girls doesn't make it a fetish or "yellow fever". She's a person, just like anyone else. This is a stigma perpetuated by internet culture, casually thrown at American men to label them as fetishists. It's degrading and rude. I personally don't talk about my ideal woman, if asked, because of it. It's tiring to defend yourself on such a topic. Sorry about the tangent but be weary of friends or work place jokes that like to talk trash if you continue to date her.
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>>17348156
totally excessive. just be chill and play up your strengths. if youre usually a nice dude, continue to be one of those.
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>>17348149
Lmao don't forget the bowl of eggs
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just say 안녕~~~
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Well, thanks for all the advice everyone, I'm going to bed now.
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>>17348128
You are asking for advice on a date when she rejected the date. A girl saying she can't today and not suggesting a new time is a rejection.
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>>17348239
>i highly caution people who date super western korean girls... most aren't mentally stable
Neither are FOBs, or Koreans living in Korea
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>>17348239
This explains a lot.
>at bar with friends on 21st bday
>see qt korean 26 year old TA from previous semester
>hang out with her and her group
>drinks are flowing and she's giggling non-stop
>she whispers, 'can I kiss you?'
>her teeth hit my teeth
>her:'u-uh sorry this is my first kiss'

I was some poor westernized Korean girls first kiss. Very depressing.
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>>17348662
lol...
Thread posts: 52
Thread images: 1


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