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What should I do with my life? I am 23 yo. stuck in 5th year

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What should I do with my life?

I am 23 yo. stuck in 5th year (out of 6) of college. Over the years I have come to regret my college of choice which is medicine. I hate it so much.
I have no idea what I was thinking 5 years ago to get into medicine.
This has resulted in me developing something I would call fear of living.

You see among other things I am also a kv. I don't have much going in life for me. I am struggling to find a single reason to keep me going through college.

My family never had much money so I became opposite of materialistic. Money is not much of a drive for me and since I have deep disconnect when it comes to relationships and intimacy neither are women.

No matter how many times I go through this in my head I cannot see myself finishing this. I cannot bring myself to study for 5 minutes.
And not just on an emotional level but physical as well. I started to feel very nauseous and feel like vomiting every time I try to study for a little longer.

I am not depressed or suicidal, just concerned or very afraid about my future. Straight out of hs I went to college and now I'm here. At 23 with absolutely 0 skills, very few acquaintances (I don't feel friends would fit the description) in a country where making basic living isn't that easy. And I fear about my existence in somewhat near future.
And I have no desires, ambitions or whatever. Most productive thing I do with my time is working out in my room. That's about it.

Tl dr: existential crisis I guess...
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>>17317314
sounds like you are burning out a common /adv/ issue.

Power through finish school and then take a year off to decompress. Consider it your reward.

Do not bail out now. Med students who bailed midway through due to burn out are a dime a dozen and you will regret quitting more that you would regret continuing no matter how you feel right now.
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>>17317329
taking a year off costs money anon. OP said they don't have any
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>>17317329
>Power through

How? I think I would require a serious dose of brainwash or to ever get near a textbook again.

I need something to push me forward. Anything at all. The tiniest thing to look forward to after I'm done.
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>>17317340
I don't mean a year off in Hawaii. I mean a year of chill easy minimum wage work and maybe living with friends or family.

>>17317352
Get over it. After school nobody is gonna push you, baby you or direct you. But they will be coming after you to pay your taxes and bills. There is no secret brainwash or bullshit. Anything worth doing takes work and can is hard. Don't wanna do it? Fine nobody truly cares. but if you want advice its finish what you start.
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>>17317352
How about thinking back to why you chose medicine in the first place? Think back, I'm sure you had a reason. Not sure if it's as hard to get into medicine there as it is where I'm from, but getting into med takes work, and you did that work to get in, I'm assuming, and if you weren't materialistic, I'm sure you had some motivation. Think back to it.

Do you have counselling services at your college? They might offer more specific advice. It sounds to me though that you're anxious about not finishing, and that's what's making you fear even continuing and it might help to see your GP for your anxiety.

I agree with anon above in finishing, as although medicine is a stressful profession, it can be a stable one. That said though, if you don't have any motivation, be it money, saving the world, whatever, you'll hate your work as well. Hence why I said, really take the time to think about why you did it in the first place.
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>>17317381
>I don't mean a year off in Hawaii. I mean a year of chill easy minimum wage work and maybe living with friends or family.

That's not wise i think. It will be harder to get into the industry later on. OP will also lose one year of pay raise.
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>>17317397
I guess I just didn't know what to go for at that time.
Since very young age I had trouble with numbers. I would be close to failing maths or anything involving even a little use of brain for that matter. I guess it come from being lower on the IQ scale.
(speech therapist told my mom I was borderline retarded)

Therefore I didn't think I was capable of ever finishing anything IT related.
It was almost a random choice to go for med school. Something that popped in my mind in the 4th year of high school.
Yes there was a time when I thought that being a doctor and treating ppl might be cool. But now that I've seen that it's the exact opposite of that I have nothing else.
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>>17317433
Huh, is it easy to get into medicine where you're from then? Because if it's especially tough, I'm sure you had a motivation that kept you going when you were trying to get into it.

Are there any aspects of medicine you enjoy? Any of the smaller aspects?

But yeah if you could, definitely see your counsellor. Even if you think you're not depressed, you definitely sound anxious.
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>>17317457
It's not the easiest but it's not that hard either.
But I was just so full of ambition back then. I don't even know what for, I just wanted to get on with my life after hs. To prove myself to the world I guess.
But since I've grown to dislike to field, had no intimate relationship whatsoever and not looking forward to money I'm left without drive.
Even though I'm not suicidal I wouldn't care if I died tomorrow.
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>>17317498
Hey man, for what it's worth, I'd totally care if you did

I think you should finish your degree. I also agree on taking a year off afterwards. Do some fulfilling volunteer work, reconnect with people, find easy work etc. After med school, it's applying for residency right? Even if some places will see you as having fallen behind in terms of clinical skills, some places may appreciate that you took the time to recharge mentally. Provides you spend the year off meaningfully.

That way too, if during the year off you find you don't want to be a doctor, you'd still have your degree to fall back on and use as a basis for transferable skills if you ever look for unrelated jobs.

As for the lack of drive, please see someone for help if at all possible. An anonymous image board can only go so far. And I'm getting the feeling that that your feelings are more than just your degree.
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I work in finance 10 hours a day and still study your major as a hobby.
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hey breh I study medicine too, in the 4th year. I'm pretty sad myself, too, and, like you, I don't care about money that much, am not exactly in love with the subject (though it's interesting so I can study it), don't have any real friends, tfw no gf, the entire feels pack...

I don't think anything I say could cheer you up, but something that makes me go through life is that I have something I want to accomplish later in life. I want to make one of those non profitable houses that pick stray animals from the street. It's kind of an abstract dream, but I know I'll have to be well off economically to do this. Well, like the other anon said, finish your degree. It's just a year after all. If it makes you feel better, I also feel extremely anxious about the future.
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>>17317314
sounds like you need to see a doctor op
Thread posts: 14
Thread images: 2


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