Get it off your chest

I just want to die. I just want to feel loved.

Someone please just end the suffering. I just want the pain to go away. I just want to die

>>17315425
Does this really belong on /adv/?

>on my chest

>>17315448
>I just want to die. I just want to feel loved.
Those are kind of contradictory, anon.

>>17315458
In my opinion, it does belong here since it's meant to help people by giving them someone to confide in, who can listen, sympathize, comment, and give advice if needed.
For most people, that someone is a close friend, a family member, a priest, etc.
For us, it's anonymous.

>>17315458
This thread also acts as a sort of general for minor problems that don't deserve their own thread.

Don't you fucking dare come back. Don't you fucking dare text me unless it's to pick up your shit.

You've done this before.

Don't you fucking dare come back to me again.

I love you and I don't even know your name I wish you knew me I wish I knew how to talk to you I wish I saw you more often than just in one class I wish I'd die

I think I'm just going to go a whole year without talking to anyone. I mean really, what's it ever brought me? 99% of conversations you have with anyone are bullshit. They're built off this stale humor, where everything you say has to be witty somehow or it doesn't belong. I don't want to crack jokes, I just want to fucking talk about something. Guess I won't be doing that anymore.

You ignored me all day today... I'm so afraid you're disconnecting from me.
Drinking myself to sleep tonight. This could be my new thing - if only drinking a pack of beer every night didn't cost so much.

I love you. So much. Please don't leave.

I accidentally stiffed a reasturant $20.... I feel like shit

>>17315483
Man if you want to have good conversations with people you gotta play the game. You don't have to constantly come back with witty comments. You're probably just thinking to hard. Try and ask questions and respond by saying what first comes to your mind

>>17315548
That's all it feels like, though. Listen in to any conversation with young people and it's all just a flurry of jokes. There's no room to talk about anything else, except for maybe politics, and I hate politics.

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Today I got fired from my dream job for being absent too often in the aftermath of a very painful injury. And said injury is also going to make it hard for me to find a new job during the next 2+ months of recovery. Hooray.

>>17315539
Honest mistakes happen, you'll feel better after the next time you go to eat and spend money there.

>>17315483
Yes, it's tough finding people you can really converse with. Cutting yourself off won't help though.

Stop telling me the right one will come to me. I am believing it less and less every time.

I kind of wonder if it would be better to pull the plug on my relationship sometimes just because I can't stop thinking about the horrible shit that has happened. it's almost like I want to find someone else but I would be giving up the best friend I've ever had, and I know it wouldn't be possible to remain friends afterwards.

Long distance relationships suck. I want to hold someone. :(

There's this girl at my work who I have started developing feelings for. She's very sweet and has a pretty good sense of humor. I really want to get to know her, but I'm pretty sure it's impossible. I'm 21, about to start my last year in college/university and she just graduated high school (I think she's 19?). Not to mention the fact that I'm still going to be working at this job for at least another two months and know these kind of relationships can really fuck things up. I don't know if she sees me that way either.

Despite all of this, I can't stop thinking about her and it's driving me crazy. I don't know how to move on from this. Thanks for listening guys.

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I wish I knew why people were pathological liars.
Look at this shit.
I met some guy at a hospital, added him as a friend, then he unfriended me.
I asked why he did that, he didn't explain.
So I offered an explanation and he thumbed it up.
Then almost two months later he sends me a crazy message telling me we discussed it arms length, while talking about killing things?
What the hell? I screen shot the entire chat box and took video of it just in case.

Am I missing something?

I can't stand the success of my friends, I have to feel superior to all of them otherwise I hate them from a distance


>>17315483
Someone finally said it :) I feel the same

>>17315841
It seems to me like you should consider ending it if you are starting to focus on the negative aspects of the relationship. I had a similar experience last year with my ex where a lot of bad stuff between us and her past were really starting to weigh on me and I wasn't happy anymore. I hesitated to pull the trigger and let the relationship go on because she was one of the few people I liked hanging out with.

It will definitely suck ass to lose someone you feel that close to, but if you let the bad feelings rot you from the inside, you might not see your partner as a friend at all. maybe you need to have a heart to heart with them? I hope you can fix things. Good luck.

I love you.

And I do not know what else to do.
Or rather I know I should just burn the bridges between me and you, but I don't want to.

I really wish this all wasn't.
I might need to end it another more definite way, as it seems this is all I live for, and it clearly can't be more than suffering while rejoicing from afar at your serenity.

You know how I feel towards you. You know things will not change.
I hope to reach that same certainty and just quit.

Quit life.

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I CAN NEVER KEEP A GIRL LONGER THAN 2 OR 3 DATES

This keeps happening.

>Meet girl (usually from OKC)
>Date 1 and 2 go well, we are texting in between
>Suddenly radio silence
>A while later the "sorry I don't think it will work out" message comes through

This has happened dozens of times over the last few years. Literally like 30-40 times. Never seen a girl more than 3-4 dates.

Why is this happening?!

>>17315986
Are you being too assertive or needy?
Are you dressed normally?

>>17315947
his last message makes no sense but you come across as a huge sperg in your earlier ones

>>17315993
>you come across as a huge sperg in your earlier ones
I was trying to be semi-formal while supportive because when I met the guy he was suicidal.
How are you supposed to talk to those people?

Sidenote:
I never thought I'd say this, but I no longer give a shit about suicidal people.
Everyone one of them I've met is a complete nutcase that makes no sense and doesn't care if they're not communicating or being fair to other people.

>>17315991
Dressed normally, yes (i.e. decent shirt with fairly normal trousers)

Needy - I doubt it. Assertive - probably not, what do you mean?

My mind is always empty when I talk.
I dont have any questions, dont know any answers and generally always feel like getting a blank.

I usually pre-plan conversions and try to remember these plans, but I cant actively think when I speak.

With writing its different. I always have an image of what I want to say and actually feel like Im thinking.

Why cant be abolish verbal communication

>>17315999
Does your "decent shirt" have any patterns on it?
Because then it's weird, not decent.

As for not knowing what assertive means...
Are you telling them what to believe or the way things are? Are you controlling conversations?

>>17316003
No, just an ordinary shirt. People often compliment me for wearing a nice shirt. Most of my shirts are just fairly decent shirt from fairly upmarket shops like Charles Tyrwhitt or something.

>>17316003
>Are you telling them what to believe or the way things are? Are you controlling conversations?

No, not really...conversations are more discussions, yes occasionally we will have diverging political views but who doesn't?

I tried to talk to him about our relationship and how I was still not ready. He said he's too emotionally invested. I don't want to hurt him, but I still want to focus on myself. I guess it'll be okay like this.

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My life is an endless web of lies

>>17316075
Well, at least you know that webs can be taken care of. You could work on that

>>17315984

Christ people like you are so pathetic.. Like theres only ONE person for ya. Stop whining about quitting life and just quit if you're such a bitch.

>>17316123
Not them, but do you not feel the sadness in the impossibility of it? Sure, you can say that they'll move on, and sure they will one day maybe, but they're forced to only because the result they want is impossible. So yeah, one day they'll be able to walk on without their feelings weighing them down, but the outcome is still a negative.

Of course it's natural for someone to feel sad about that. Even more so when it's a separation from someone you cared about a lot.

I have 3 girls that are interested in me. Im in a relationship with 1 of them but i still fuck with the other 2. I dont love any of them i just like to feel loved. what do?

>>17316143
kill yourself ofc

>>17316123
And your point is...?

That people who sleep around are so cool instead? Yeah, loving deeply is pathetic, and definitely nobody is allowed to search for their own happiness in such a, for my limited and unique experience, non-existent thing.

Where the hell does your anger come from?
Why do you despise who looks for happiness in ways different from yours?

You are a moron for thinking that people different from you should just kill themselves.
People are different, feel different things, and pursue different happinesses. Search for the myers brigg test just to have a very simple insight of how people can be different (and that still doesn't scratch the surface of how different we might be, nor why).

I personally don't get why people like you are happy with multiple partners, or simply don't care much about any of the ones you have been with, but I am not going to tell you to go fuck yourself because of that.

I am going to tell to go fuck yourself when you decide not to tell your new partner about your stds, or when you cheat out of the thrill, possibly ruining someone else's life forever, cause otherwise that'd be pathetic, like theres only ONE person for ya.

>>17315425
I can't have sex. I'm completely unable to chill, so everything is wound up so tight, I feel searing, crippling pain every time someone tries to stick anything up me. It's the worst pain of my life so far, although given I have not been shot before. Attempts to make me aroused and chill out, are greatly avoided because I fear how arousal forces your mind to relinquish control of your body. I have these conflicting feelings of really wanting to be aroused and have sex, but when it actually happens beyond mild arousal, my mind freaks out about losing control.

I've seen articles on sex therapy and special escorts to help people with these issues. But that feels like cheating. I really want to fix my relationship, but I don't know how to explain "hi I'm going on a "vacation" to a county more sexually sane than this upright Puritan shithole (which is probably what screwed me up to begin with). But yeah, I'll be gone for a few mad weeks, to have considerable amounts of sex with a complete stranger paid to slowly make me actually open up via five hours of slow and skilled foreplay. Which I cannot expect the both of us very inexperienced folks to do. Anyway, I hope you don't dump me over this. I want to state that i will cut all contact with this person afterwards, but I still don't think that would change your mind and sell you on this idea"

I had a dream that brought up and made me realize that, as much as I may have denied it, I have feelings for my best friend. We both have partners tho. She's going out with my friend. The distant between us seems to be growing for unknown reasons. I can't stop thinking about her.

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I have been wanting to kill myself so fucking badly lately
I just had a dream about hanging out with my 2 cousins when I was a kid.
I really miss doing things with them so much. I wish I got to grow up with them, I was always so desperate to hang out with them, I looked forward to hanging out with them and talking on the phone with them more than anything... My dad was in the military so we were always far away and moving and I only got to see them for like 2 weeks at a time one or two times a year
Now there is noone who will do anything like that with me and they are completely different people now and I am not that different than I was back then! I would still stay in the same crack in the wall downstairs and play weird pillow games and talk about sucking eachother's fucking toes if I could
We would only get to hang out a couple times a year, but god I was always sad when they left or I had to go. Hanging out with them was the best parts of my childhood even though it was not very often. The rest of the time I was friendless or being mentally abused by my parents.
I miss those days so much and don't think I got enough of them, I think my room is a reflection of that. It is the room of a regressed person and it is kind of obvious. And also I kind of dress like a fucking little kid. God I am fucked up. I just wish someone would play with me now like I used to back then. Why do people have to grow out of that stuff??
Now all anyone ever wants is sex. Just sex, sex, sex. It is always people acting like they want to hang out but they actually want to date or fuck me and I want to be people's friend but they don't want that. They blow me off or ignore me no matter how nice I am and don't like to do anything fun.
I want to fucking die. GOD, I wish killing myself wouldn't effect my parents so much. I have been like REALLY wanting to just nonchalantly blow my brains out lately. I hate this so much.

>>17316068
You have to stop with that mentality before you hurt him more than you intended to.

>>17315425
I have my brothers funeral today. I'm scared and I wish I had told him happy birthday when I had the chance

>>17315425
I'm in love with a guy and I'm too afraid to ask him out. I think he likes me, too but I'm bothered that he doesn't do shit. He did say he is afraid of asking girls out because he was rejected a million times and that he is afraid of even talking on facebook, but come on dude. I'm not even worth the try?

>>17315944
Shit man I'm pretty much in the same boat. I really like the job I'm working, but this girl I work with brings feelings out of me that I didn't think I had. Not those "Damn she's hot, I wanna fuck her." more of a "I want to grow old with this person." I don't like this.

I'm masturbating, because I don't know what else to do.

>>17316344
Omg sorry for your loss man

I'm 18, I hate myself I have no motivation to do anything. I don't have my license I've had one job which I don't have anymore. I have like 19 or 18 dollars and a 18 dollar gift card to my name, my parents are telling me I should get my shit together but won't help me, I'm talking to some chick that's 26 but she has a boyfriend and that makes me feel like even more shit I try to just talk to her in a friendly way but she always brings it to more than friends I only keep talking to her cause I haven't talked to a girl in a long time and she's the only one that shows interest. I'm thinking about selling my Xbox and running away I'll only have like $120 but I don't really care, I don't want to be home anymore. I lost where I'm going with this so that's that. Thanks for listening

I can't even think about sex but that's all he'll be wanting to do.

This breakup is the worst I've ever been through. We were engaged and very happy, up until out of nowhere you said you wanted to part ways. I was floored and spiraled down into the worst state I've been in for years.

Last night, it hit me though. As I looked back through pictures and conversations, it dawned on me that you never even loved me. Now that I think about it, you were about as immature and inconsiderate as you could be. You never tried, and you mooched off of me. I made sure you always had food to eat, gas in your car, or whatever else you needed. For Pete's sake, I even bought your textbooks.

Yet, nothing was ever returned. You were content to lay there and let me take care of you, while in turn treating me like crap. Remember the time we planned to have coffee together that one morning? I do. I got on campus an hour and a half early just to spend time with you, because you asked me to. Then of course, you forgot and went back to sleep, and left me standing outside of your apartment in -6*C weather, trying to call you or find you to see where you were. You didn't answer. I stood out there freezing for nearly 30 minutes before I just gave up and left. You didn't even feel bad about it.

And you know how I have a thing about birthdays; how I was always ignored and forgotten on my own birthday; how I spent most of my birthdays crying alone in my room; how I always try to make sure that whichever friend's birthday it is, I try to do something to make them feel special. Then when it was my best friends birthday, and I tried to throw him a little surprise get together with all of our friends, you discouraged me. Said that I was doing too much and that it was unnecessary. Well fuck you, your attitude is unnecessary. Everyone deserves a Happy Birthday.

But you know what? One day, I will meet some wonderful person that will make me laugh; someone who won't use me or forget me in the cold and will remember my birthday too. I'll meet someone who will love me.

>>17316342
I told him I wanted to date other people still, which is what I was doing when I first met him, but he just told me he loved me and that when I dated it fucked him up. Thing is we were never a couple?

I have some good points going for me but I feel like I have still wasted my chance to be as good as an average person and I feel like I will always be a low tier loser from now on.

Mother and I have hyperthyroidism, one sister has hypothyroidism and unknown regarding the other sister. Brother died thanks to a thyroid storm while suffering from hyperthyroidism. This is funny to me for all the wrong reasons. I wonder if I can exit the same way he did.

I don’t want to be your girlfriend, yes it's because the sex was bad. What the fuck you're not even a virgin, two pump?! So disappointing. Also you're bad at oral.

>>17316552
If you were never a couple why are you so worried? How do you feel about him?

>>17316651
I'm worried because we're very close and we even have an apartment. We just do everything together

>>17316696
Yikes that sounds tricky. At least you were honest with him. Sounds like he's kind of got you trapped emotionally.

>>17316712
I just don't know how to go about being my my own person independently and him understanding that is what I want without him becoming depressed

>>17316712
Thank you for listening though. It's good to know I'm not crazy lol

I really want to text this girl i like but i have no idea how to, i dont even know how i should say "hello" or what to talk about after that, ive never done this and i really dont want to mess this up, but i have no idea how to text someone i dont really know THAT well, specially a woman.

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>Tfw 18 and had consensual sex with a 15 year old

Am I a bad person?

>>17316247
haha wow

>blaming america for being insane despite everyone else having no problems having sex
>thinking getting a hooker will help
>instead of working things out with your partner you want to go fuck strangers

I don't even know what to say

>>17316362
>I'm not even worth the try?
You probably aren't. But if you like him, put on your kid gloves and make a move on him. Did you know you can start dating or whatever without actually asking someone out?


>oh anon i'm not feeling well pls take me home
>whoops i fell into your arms look deep into my eyes

>>17315548
>respond by saying what first comes to your mind
Protip: don't do this.

>>17316362
Part of any human relationship is helping the other person when they need it. Picking up the slack. Watching their back. Protecting their weak points.
Sometimes this is serious, sometimes it's as little as going to the pharmacy to pick up some excedrin when they're having a migraine.
You're frustrated that he hasn't made a move yet. But why frustrated at him, and not yourself?

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I'm not gonna sit here and pretend like everything in my life isn't my fault, A good bit of it is. Doesn't make it any easier.

I've been single for awhile, after being caught in a loveless relationship which I burned the bridge to because I couldn't stand being with her anymore.

I'm less than moderately attractive, not in shape. I go to to the gym regularly, but I can't help but think it won't help. I have programs If ollow and do homework, but, again.

Just about every girl I've dated either has been insane, or not been able to deal with me (because I'm insane, insecure, fat)

My mother is dying from type 2 diabetes neuropathy. every day i hear her crying out in paain, and can't do much but try to regulate her diet.

In terms of a support group, I don't have one. It's not just a body issue that i'm not dating, b ut I don't think anyone deserves to be with someone who might break down at a moments notice.

Pic related, middle one is me.

>>17316783
To be honest I'm scared of him. I've been rejected before and have come to the conclusion that maybe women shouldn't be the one to approach. But then again... I dunno, kind of need more courage to ask him. I hope I can gather the courage.

>>17316751
You don't sound crazy. You sound like a person who cares.

18 year old friend of mine wants to have a baby with me.
Im 29, and i want it too.
Idk what to do

i can't live with this amount of pain and sadness

i am just begging for relief

>>17316933
do it

>>17316907
>I've been rejected before and have come to the conclusion that maybe women shouldn't be the one to approach.
If women actual think this way, feminism was a mistake. Do you realize how often guys are rejected? Even for hot guys, it's like batting averages; if you get one out of every three you're a fucking rockstar. Man up, you pussy.

>>17316933
do it lol

>>17316939
whats wrong

>>17316955
I'm not a feminist, though
But yeah, women are scared of rejection even more than men. Probably because the preassure has always been on men to approach, we never had to deal with any of it, really.
Guess I should man the fuck up. I mean, what is the worst that could happen?

>>17316962
Rejection, obviously. It's just a little ego bruise though, it's no big deal.

>>17316970
Yeah, it's not
Guess I should stop being an autistic fuck. It's just that, everyone around me seems to think it is desperate for a girl to make a move. But fuck 'em, they're boring.

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>>17316979
Sounds like a plan
Tell us how it goes

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>>17315425
I'm lonely and afraid that I'll never have a family, and end up dying alone.

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Still playing LoL.

I'm trying so hard to stop being so angry. I will replay arguments I've had with people from years ago and get so angry I start punching things. How can I learn to deal with conflict in a better way and not let petty fights from the past bother me so much.

I buy nice things. I can afford it because I am not poor. I don't do this out of any reason other than I like it. It looks nice to me. I enjoy the alcohol and food I buy. Nice picture frame? Marble top table? Some nice glasses for scotch? Sure why not. It's not made in China plastic shit and it will last a while.

But every. single. fucking. time. I bring someone over to my place they comment "oooooh fancy" when really it's NOT FUCKING FANCY. I've been to Paris, I've been to fucking Rome, I've lived in 5 star hotels for months on end at points in my life. That's fancy. Why the fuck does anything that isn't a made in China piece of shit have to be fancy to you fucking cunts? Fuck sakes I hate that word I am triggered I have unresolved childhood issues.

>>17317293

Also I'm an alcoholic

>>17317293
neither paris nor rome are fancy by any stretch of the imagination

you have nice things- they are complimenting your home in a short, relatively accurate way

don't sperg out you fucking nigger

>>17317446

I didn't mean the cities themselves I meant certain places in them you autist faggot.

Yesterday, I asked a coworker out to do something this weekend and she said yes. I was really excited and pumped. She seemed the same way. I gave her my phone number and told her to text me so we can discuss the exact details.

Well Saturday is almost over, and still haven't received anything from her. I've received other texts today, so everything is working on my cell phone's end at least.

I think I've been, for all intents and purposes, stood up. Which really sucks and I'm pretty depressed right now. Why wouldn't she just say no thanks if she didn't want to hang out?

>>17317449
kek okay dude whatever

enjoy your internet fantasies

>>17317460
>i was a passive beta and my crush is getting railed by a real man

why don't you have her number?

>>17317460
because she's a fucking flake
be thankful she let you know this much this early so you can forget about that idiot and move on

>>17317461

>Internet fantasies

My only fantasy is stuff my thick cock inside your asshole and fucking the shit out of you, literally. I want to fuck you until you have diarrhea faggot. Yeah, what's up? You a homophobe?

>>17317467
that's gross, you faggot
no wonder you need to lie online to make yourself feel like less of a disease infested, mentally ill freak

Man what a cis gendered gullible loser you are. Also nothing I've said is a lie besides wanting to fuck your ass. I'm just bored.

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I saw my crush driving down the street while I was heading home from work.
I then spent the last hour tracking her phone (or trying to anyway) to see where she was.

I feel disgusting and sick. I've never wanted to be that type of guy, but something came over me. I hope she never finds out.

>>17317461
>why don't you have her number?
I didn't think there'd be any issue with her texting me. She seemed as excited, if not more excited, then me for this. In fact, in the past few months, she's been the one initiating contact with me first in the office, which is the reason I even asked her out.

>>17317465
Yeah, I'm pretty much done with her pending I don't get a text by the time we return to work.

>>17317484
>I didn't think there'd be any issue with her texting me
that doesn't answer the question- you're interested in a woman, so why didn't you get her number?

being passive is repulsive in a man

>>17317490
It does answer the question, retard. I didn't get her number because there weren't any signs that she wouldn't text me if I gave her my number.

If you want to be this edgy, go to >>>/b/ or something.

Being in this relationship was a mistake. I fell for the false image you built for me and caused me to dedicate all this time. Now I'm just considered one of the group essentially, despite me not being able to do my own thing without being criticized, bashed or lectured. I feel as if I should treat you the way I treat my job once I'm bored with it; I should be looking for a new partner to replace you with. I most likely will end up taking this path and simply just leave you. I want to talk to you about this, but you always want to turn the conversation around and try to be the one in control and explain why it's ok for you to do something that I am not. Fuck this shit, my life can't handle this.

>>17317497
>edgy
you're the one who fucked up lad.

and no, it does not answer the question.

>like woman
>want to fuck her/date her
>talk to her
>make plans
>don't get a way to contact her
>???
>retard alert

>>17317507
Again, it does. It's not a good reason, but you asked why I didn't get her number. And that was my reasoning (as faulty as it may be in hindsight) for not.

Regardless, this says more about how she really sees me, so it might be better in the long-term regardless how much it sucks in the short term.

>>17317529
>, this says more about how she really sees me,
no, it doesn't. it's not normal to do what you did.
if i guy gave me his number after asking me out i wouldn't text him because he couldn't even muster up the balls to get my number after he asked me out

you probably didn't even ask her out on a date, just some beta shared activity as sterile and sexless as your love life

>>17317538
Except she's the one that said "give me your number." That and along with the way she acts around me didn't lead me to believe that this would happen.

And no need to respond. I know what you'll say:
>Muh beta male only does that
>Muh she's getting fucked by an alpha right now...I know, I learned all about it from virgins on /r9k/

2/10 troleing attempt

For non-trolls, how should I approach this when we return to work?

I remember reading a thread a while back.

We laughed at the OP, who had posted a picture of his texts from a girl, he asked who she was, and when she answered he texted an overly flamboyant and not-at-all conspicuous "HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!".

I vaguely remember the OP asking if he fucked up.

He did.

But, during the gruelling, grinding day in the shithole warehouse, the one ray a sunshine in there, a manager, the only one that actually seems to work with the colleagues, and the woman of my dreams, popped around the corner.

She was coming up to me to ask me to do something. I... I had my own "HIII!!!!!!!!!" moment. I realised after she had the biggest grin on her face that during my five years working there, I had finally accidentally revealed how eager I was to see her, and how happy it made me.

I smiled and laughed abut it, though. Because instead of bottling everything up and being an emotionless drone, I had actually managed to show some affection, without even thinking or worrying about it.

On another note, there is this other girl at work. She is reasonably attractive, however something about her face just reminds me of sharks. Thus, I've nicknamed her, in my head, as "Sharkface".
I got a few funny looks when I caught her looking at me, and thought "New meaning to sleeping with the fishes", and laughed seemingly randomly for seemingly no reason.
I spent the rest of the day thinking about bait jokes for sharkface.

Shit, I forgot to mention I could harpoon her.

It... It's been a good day.

>>17316075
You're life is an endless anime show you weeaboo

Something has always felt missing with you. Nothing feels right. I don't know why, maybe we should just break up. I feel like you're not husband material and to be honest, I want to get married soon.

>>17317561
>For non-trolls, how should I approach this when we return to work?
Ignore it, and pretend you didn't make plans. Distance yourself from her, since she obviously isn't interested. After all, she has your number. If she wants to talk she'll call.

>>17316002
I feel your pain, anon

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>Find out yesterday my position is being outsourced to another state after next week
>Get stood up by coworkers I thought were my friends

>>17315947
>>17315947
>>17315997
Do you even try hiding your identity? You left A.'s full name visible when he accepted your friend requested. Easy to find profile and confirmed based on the info on the top of the conversation. He had his friends list open so all I had to do was to narrow it down to all males (since he called you brother) with their first name starting with C, so that's about 6-7 guys and then compare the ratio of the length in pixels of your grey bar hiding your name to A.'s same grey bar (since you hide the names with the exact same length of grey bar which means you only hide the name without any blank left). So based on the ratio, your full name has 12-13 characters, blank included. That narrowed it down to two, Chris O. and Craig F., of which Craig F had a hip replacement surgery 4 years ago, usually performed on older people who have osteoarthritis, therefore much lower chances of using 4chan. Plus your fedora-tier beard would match a 4chan user. Also compared ratios of pixels of the rest of the text to your hidden first name when he replied later to confirm your first name. So be very careful of what you post on the internet Chris.

>>17317810
From experience, co-workers are the fakest friends you'll ever have. Forget them.

i broke up with someone. both she and i have depression (she also self harms), and she broke up with me because she wanted me to "get better" and no matter what i said she didnt listen to me about how i was already doing so. what do?

>>17317818

Thanks, it's all I can do at this point. I'm kind of glad I'm being forced to leave and today just gave me another reason to be.

Woke up this morning, had mutually pleasant sex with my wife, had a normal relaxing Sat. We watched movies most of the day, didn't leave, and jointly cared for our kid with no one doing the majority of the work.

After the first movie, she wanted to watch a movie I wasn't interested in, so I decided to either go play with my son or watch a movie in the bedroom to not take the tv from her (since I'm a gamer and use the main tv very often).

When I got to the bedroom, the combined rainy weather, cool, dark atmosphere and cool soft bed put me to sleep near instantly.

Note, I have sleep apnea, and it has onset because of my weight over the past year. I've also been doing p90x to get the weight off and it's helped some already.

She knows I have sleep apnea and that even though I go to bed at the same time, I am always tired and prone to light depression that I handle well and rarely need to talk about but when I do I sit down and lay down my cards, and she usually makes me feel better.

How do I very bluntly get across how disrespected and hurt I feel that she was insensitive and assholish about my sleepiness?

Later in the day I was watching a movie with her and kept dozing off, pretty much all day near the end of movies or when they were slow I'd drift off since I was sitting on the couch comfortably, and she started out just poking me but by 4pm she was just outright rude.

>>17317943
Right on. I think when I leave my current job I'll Do the same.
Hell, the "friends" I talk to are currently at a pool party and I didn't hear shit until I saw pics.

I have the urge to break a girl's heart and destroy her emotionally. I hate that I get this way when I'm heartbroken, but the normal shit doesn't seem to work for me.

>>17318040
Don't do it anon. It's a vicious circle.

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Just posted about this but here it is again. pls help

So I really like my best friend but at this point we're basically SIBLING zoned. I've had a growing crush on her for about 2 years and last night I finally let it slip. I was crying real bad because I knew she COULDN'T like me back. She has some trouble with feeling and identifying her emotions and romantic feelings are a mystery to her. So now she feels guilty for not noticing when I'M the one with a crush.
Anyway, I've pretty much decided to not push her or talk about it ever again unless god willing she likes me back.
She's more touchy now too....
Is she flirting?
Do I have a chance at all?
How should I act around her?

>>17318043
I never do it because my conscience always prevents me, but part of me always wants to drink some tears to replenish all the ones I've shed.

There's always angry shitposting, I suppose.

As sweet and cute as the shy, somewhat beta nerdy guy I'm into is, I wish he would actually text me first. I'm about 99% sure he's into me, he just doesn't interact with people via technology at all.

>>17318071
If he's beta, you might have to text him first. Just to get the ball rolling. After that let him take initiative

>>17318035

I'm sorry to hear that but I hope things get better for you at your next job. At least you have people here to vent to until then.

My wife has been lying about her heroin addiction for three years. I know she's using, but for the sake of our family, I stay quiet and let her lie to my fucking face 20 times a day. We can't pay anything, we can't even talk because she is so unstable. I have tons of evidence, but I'm afraid to confront her. She's sitting right next to me.

>>17318090
He's never dated a girl before and he's never really had a girl officially ask him out or anything. So yep, I suppose he would be considered beta.

Yeah, usually, when I text him, he texts back pretty quickly. It's just I feel awkward sending him "Hey! What's up?" for the third time in a row.

>>17318123
Hmm do you come off flirty in any way? How Do your conversations usually end?

I've cut ties with just about my entire family because I realized they were all fairly shitty. I feel such a mess of guilt and loss inside, and what's worse is how hard it is to open up to anyone I'm close to about what's eating at me.

You can try but I've been through the same shit you have. Good luck.

>>17318137
>>17318137
I honestly did not get his number until about three weeks ago, but we were becoming close for like three months before that. Usually, we text for a while and then when the conversation gets staleish he'll stop texting back. One time, he quit texting back but then texted back the next day apologizing for not answering. The other times our conversations have ended is because we ended up meeting in person. We haven't really flirted over text, but in person, it's a totally different story.

I'm sorry for being such an idiot. For months it was obvious you liked me, but I never paid attention because I was trying to hook up with this girl. This girl who happens to be engaged. The conversations I had with you were great and easily a lot better than with that other girl who you really don't like. I have started to like you and you have been distancing your self from me. I know why your doing this and I kind of agree but it still sucks.

>>17318167
So from what I gather, in person you two are fine. You flirt, talk, etc.
But the issue is him not initiating texting? He might just be bad at it.

From experience, I'm garbage at responding. But in person, it's different. It's better.

I wish I could peek inside your head for a second and see if you like me or if you like her. Because every time I think about it, I think I'm not even close to her, I think I'm way worse than her lowest point, and I think I am not worthy of having anyone. And she's so much better than me, she does the things you like, and I only do the things I think you need. And you don't open up to me, you're never serious with me, with anyone, and I don't know if you are with her, I hope to God you are not with her. And when you talk to me you joke, and I'm fine, and when you mention her you become someone else, someone I never spoke to, and I'm crushed. And I wish you knew that every time you do that I end up sitting on my bed, crying well into the morning. I don't want you to settle for me. I don't want to ask, because you would settle for me. I wish I could just know, just know for sure, so I could be with you, so I could forget about you, so that something could change.

I've been posing as my crush on /soc/ for a few days, trying to see what they thing about her. She has gotten the widest spread of ratings that I've seen. Anywhere from 2/10 up through 11/10. (She has a very Love it or Hate it way about her)

Also, I have been giving guy with low self-esteem moderately high, to boost their confidence. Hopefully.

It is now officially two weeks since my last drink. I've been short and cold to everyone these past two weeks and hardly smiled. I've hated every second of these past two weeks and been annoyed by every last word I hear.

Today I typed out something facetious and dark, but humorous. Despite how depressing a reflection it was, it made me laugh a bit. I shared it with a couple if friends, and they both found it hilarious. At least I'm still funny, I suppose.

I'm so sorry for the mistakes I've made, the foolish things I've done, and I do everything I can to make up for it, and I do everything I can to care. I don't care if you don't want to be with me, or don't find me attractive enough, I'll always be there to catch you if you fall, and I'll always love you, like everyone else I've ever loved and still do.

>>17318219
Post her here friend.

>>17318268
Just look over in /soc/ on the rate threads. You will easily be able to ID her.

Thin with Shorter hair.

>>17318268
>>17318272

Actually. Fuck it. Here she is

>>17318291
It's the short hair. Short hair is polarizing.

Personally, I fucking abhor short hair on a woman.

>>17318298
I guess. For me, I like short hair on a woman with her build. Actually, Long hair does not work for her.

But if a girl is on the curvy, to chubby side, I would rather that they have longer hair

I have thought about my ex girlfriend every single day since we broke up over a year ago. We broke up because I was going to college but she still had another year of school to go. We texting every single day even after we broke up and remained 'best friends' until around March when she suddenly cut all contact and refused to talk to me and I want to die every single time I see a picture of her or wake up and realize I dreamed about her. Oh yeah and she is coming to the same college as me starting in August with the same major as me so I will be seeing her every single day and as far as I know she could hate me. I would drop everything I have to be with her and she doesn't even think about me at all. What do

I'm falling for a girl I'm meant to be helping get over or get back with her shitty boyfriend. He treats her like shit and is currently groveling a shitload and she's coming back around to him. But it's not my place to tell her she's better off without him because i feel like I'm bias because of how i feel about her. Plus i feel like a hypocrite. I'm single because my relationship was rocky and another guy came in and did the shoulder to cry on thing and took her from me. I feel like i'd be doing the same thing if i told her how i feel.

>>17318291
I think that's fucking weird and if she ever found out she would beat you to death. Grow up man.

i had so many dreams i wanted to make come true with you. just little things too, like inviting you over during the holidays and just chilling in jeans and a t-shirt on my huuuuge lounge, watching movies all night on the 70" tv with popcorn, hot chocolate and heaps of snacks until we fell asleep. taking you to the local park at night when its empty and blasting music on your speakers, then collapsing in the grass and watching the stars. working my ass off for the next 12 months to get money together to travel with you overseas- when i graduate i was planning on travelling, i would've loved to have gone with you. we could've listened to so much music together like we used to, you could've come over to my place and listened to my records and i'd come to yours and listen to yours. i always wanted to come over, get it on, then lay on your floor listening to godspeed you black emperor's lift your skinny fists like antennas to heaven, staring at the ceiling with our hands together. i had so many fun, simple but satisfying dreams for us to do together. little things, yeah, but they would've made us both so happy, and you gave up on me.
Harry, you fought with me long and hard for over 3 months. I can't do it anymore, and you know I can't. You made it clear you don't want me in your life, but deep down I hope you come back to me some day, just, don't hurt me next time- right?

-will.

>>17318321
Yea... I know it is.... I am gonna stop...

>>17318291
Damn I missed it. I think I found her on the rate threads tho. She's cute.

>>17318365
Denim shirt? She is seriously like an 9 for me


But Yea, I removed it as if someone who knows both of us stumbled upon it, it can easily be tied to me.

>>17318378
Might stumble upon it. I know that some lurk b.

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>>17318316

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>17318198
Yeah, I'm the same too, I've always been garbage at texting. I was going to just straight out tell him that I like him more than as a friend (though I'm pretty sure he's picked up on this by now), but I want to do it in person so obviously I have to text him first to set up a meet-up of some sort.

My friends think I'm just a bad driver and it's funny but I drive recklessly because i secretly hope I'll crash and die

>>17318326
Conroy?

I don't think i'm gonna find somebody that truly will love me. Not that i'm obsessed with finding the one I will be with together, but I don't think somebody will fit me in the long run. I change personalities like the flip of a coin when i'm getting bored, and my "phases" although pretty fun for everybody, can be hard to keep up with.

I'm not a bad person, not in any regard. I'm not all junked up in the head, i'm not even that bad looking, i'm just different, and I don't think i'll find somebody just as different for me.

Can someone please tell me it's all going to be okay?

>>17318540
It's gonna be alright dude

>>17318540
Only if you tell me the same, lol.

Everything is going to be all right, Anon.

If I can move beyond the love of my life leaving me, a crippling drug addiction, a near fatal incident that left permanent physical and psychological damage, and a generally fucked life... You can do anything, Anon.

It is going to be all right.

How do I get over my emotional dependency issues? When I like a girl, I like them for years. I can't get over them.

Well yeah, sorry we couldn't get laid tonight because I'm a fucking loser who's afraid to buy a condom in the store. I feel so fucking stupid right now.

Drifting apart after 8 years feels really weird. Like I'm not mad at you, but I can't be with you, and you aren't mad either. Usually I'm used to seeing breakups being horrible and messy but I think we both see what's happening and are just accepting it.

I'm boring and I'm tired of it. My attention span is too short for me to develop hobbies that I can make small talk about, or even to binge watch popular shows like Game of Thrones so that I can talk about it. Maybe part of it is that I feel like it would be dumb to force myself to have interests just to be able to talk about having them. But at the same time I'm miserable with being such a seemingly dull person.

I'm too apathetic to care about the state of the world or my country, which is extremely unattractive to many people, especially since I'm at college and my peers are all ambitious young people with a zeal to change the world to fit their ideals. Good for them I guess, but I can't really get behind any of it, I just don't care enough.

I recently reached the realization that the one skill I thought I had, writing, was illegitimate because I can't think of creative ideas. Even throughout grade school when I was praised for my writing ability, it was only because I took inspiration or even directly stole themes from other things I read (I read at a more advanced level than my classmates and read a lot of old/obscure shit which is how I got away with it). But I can't do that anymore. So now I'm left with no knowledge except video games and memes, which are both too niche to consistently impress people (especially girls).

I just wish something would catch my interest. I'm tired of being so wishy-washy and aimless.

I think I want to be a teacher.

>>17318049
>She has some trouble with feeling and identifying her emotions and romantic feelings are a mystery to her
Where the fuck do i find a girl like this
I'm the same

I wish I could be a better support for you, mom. I know you're suffering from watching grandma losing to dimensia and grandpa struggling to cope with it. I wish that you're siblings/my aunts and uncles could better understand what you're going through and would help you more. I feel worthless a lot of times because all I do is listen or tell you it's going to be alright. I want you to be happy, and I try not to let it show, but when I see you just standing there, away from dad and you're eyes tearing up, I feel my throat tighten. I try to maintain my mask of confidence, but I've slipped several times now, and I don't know how well I'll be able to comfort you when they finally do die. I wish I could better comfort you, but I guess for now, all I can do is listen to you and let you destress as much as you can until the next wave comes.

I'm a big ball of depression, frustration and 1/8 of a teaspoon (note: the measurement for a pinch) of anger.

I have tachycardia and had to go off my antidepressant and temporarily stop getting electroconvulsive therapy, because they don't know why it's happening. I was having a cardiac workup last Wednesday, but it had to be rescheduled because my dad, the only person who could drive me there, had a sudden court date come up (he's a lawyer, and at the mercy of the judges he works with). So now I have to wait until July 18 until I can get any kind of serious treatment for my depression.

It's been over a month and a half since I last had ECT, or since I've been on an antidepressant, and I hate it. I'm just watching myself deteriorate and I can't really do anything about it. I was hoping the new medication would put me into remission (ECT had already halved the severity of my symptoms) so I could start college again in the fall, but nope! Now I have tachycardia instead and won't be able to do that.

I sleep all day and watch TV all night, because I have hypersomnia now (when off medication, my depression symptoms cycle and are not stable and symptoms come and go a lot.) and can't manage my sleep cycle, though I'm still trying to. But what's the point of trying anyway? I'm still going to be a depressed college dropout who does nothing all day, because I can't even function enough to do daily self-maintenance tasks like brushing my teeth and taking a shower every day. (Yes, I should brush 2-3 times a day, but I am a bit beyond that point of functioning.).

Why try? Why am I even alive? What is the fucking point?

i'm feelin pretty bad because i realized i have feelings for my best friend, been trying to ignore them but now it hurts too much.
I have to tell her, even if I already know what her reaction will be, i can't keep it inside much longer.
I'm so scared guys, i don't want this to end our friendship.

every day is a battle between fear of death and wanting to die. i wonder what will happen when im no longer afraid. Will i commit? can i ever surpass fear?

>>17318142
That's a problem I can relate to. Open up here, man. Strangers are better than family.

I don't like my life. I've seen some bad shit, and it's changed me as a person. Recently I found out I'm really sick, some of my organs are failing. I have to sleep 10-12 hours a day to stay at a normal level; I can't work because I'm too weak, I'm not sick enough to be considered unable to work.

My life is over. I'm not happy, and at this rate I'm gonna die in the not too distant future anyway. If I continue this life, I'll die surrounded by people I hate, in a town I hate, as a worthless burden; an idea I hate.

I'm going away travelling. I don't really intend to come back. In some ways, I'm at peace, in others, I'm a little scared. I'm weak, and frail, and dying, but I'm not going to die having seen so little of this world.

>>17319207
Hey, maybe you´ll do better in a next life, friend.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QysAkZbTI0

this is something i do behind my girls back but it feels too good to stop

i pay my girlfriend's younger cousin for massages

when we first started i wore shorts under the towel and she never got close to my higher thigh or pelvis area but one time i chose not to wear anything and asked her to do my thighs and felt my hard on once now when she gets to my legs she always makes sure I'm taken care of

and my girl has no clue

>>17319351
Thanks. I keep getting all these little signs, I don't think I'm supposed to die yet. I'm not really fussed. It's probably me seeing things that aren't there. If it's not, I don't think I'm fussed about being defiant.

Maybe I'll get a fun life next time.

Tried my best to be myself but no one understood me and was isolated from everyone even my family.

>>17315425
My long term boyfriend is a total attention whore on social media. Not like, posting a bunch of selfies and shit, but he acts 2edgy for attention. Not necessarily even the attention of females, but I guess he not so humbly brags about shit constantly. Obsesses over what I tag him in, and things like that.

In real life he's not like this. But his instagram self bugs the shit out of me.

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I have never been able to do a single conversation with a girl without losing my spaghetti and I hate myself for it.

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She of course didn't respond to me after this.

Keep it up, I can confidently say you're doing the hard part for me. I loathe your new personality, and I detest his need to draw attention to himself to the point that he even talks about himself just to reply. He's never hidden it, even months before you knew him. He'd see his name in an image before and call himself cute.

You two have fun, I can safely say you've turned the feelings I had into distain because your personality changed and his is the personality of an attention seeker. You would no doubt claim he's not like this when with you, but that doesn't change a thing, you're both acting more and more disgusting the more you need to flaunt shit. Or maybe you're so blinded by your emotions for each other that you're perfectly fine with it.

It ultimately doesn't matter. I kept my word to never turn my back on you even after all these months, even after it no longer mattered. It doesn't matter now, and instead I will do so. I refuse to let you occupy a single thought of mine again. I dislike your personality and I dislike his. I really, really dislike the fact he unknowingly talks shit about people I'm fond of for reactions from them, too. Of course, you would never have noticed that, but teach him that his actions are not actually hidden when he makes the mistake of letting people spot him.

I'm a calm person usually, but never speak to me again. That includes any point in the future, no matter how much time passes

I don't know what the fuck I am doing with my life.

I'm getting sick and tired of the women in my life trying to dictate how I live. Who the fuck do they think they are?
Leave me and my husband alone you two-faced cunting mini-dictators. I don't fucking call you and nag you for not having any kids, and my daughter is too young to go on a transatlantic flight, THAT IS MY JUDGMENT BECAUSE SHE IS MY CHILD, YOU FUCKING RESPECT THAT.
It's like they have no more men to bludgeon with their power-tripping bullshit so they gotta come to my door step to get their fucking jollies.

>>17318219
I have actually posted on our situation her in the past.... (her friend that is overly sexual, and other shit)

So... if you've been around you'll know the deal

>>17315479
What happened?

Ive see a few other people over the last 8 years but it's never become more, and I haven't been involved with anyone for years now and I never have feelings for anyone but I need sex, and I don't want to fuck randoms, there's a man I've been in love with since I first knew him but he thinks I'm crazy and that I want to friend zone him, yet he knows how I feel for him romantically, I've had enough of everything, I need to get away from myself, he'll never want me or feel the same, once he did but he likes the game, I can't stand anymore

Aloneit

>>17317482
Why would you do that?

>>17318219
W w what the hells wrong with you....why are you doing this?

The fuck was that dream?

>Be in School (Cross between my College, HS, and MS)
>Class is taught by my 5th grade teacher
>Be outside in middle of winter for class.
>Class involved learning how to clean a firearm
>I misplace my assigned firearm
>At end of that part, we go into a building for some odd critical thinking exercise
>It involved free food as payment (One guy received a Martini glass and plate of Olives)
>My right shoe begins coming apart.
>Somehow I pull the tounge out, and the shoe gets tighter
>So I take it off and ask a friend if I can find a new pair
>I have a major crush on that friend. We'll call her M
>M is unable to find a new pair, so we just go and sit down.
>We begin BS'ing about shit, and she asks what I thought about the Tattoo removal that she was undergoing
>We really begin hitting it off, I could feel something in the air
>She begins drawing on random papers and talking about shit
>Her friend, R, shows up, and asks to sign my cast (I was still wearing a heavy ass winter coat)
>I tell him I don't have a cast, and he leaves it.
>Does not talk to M or I for the duration of the dream
>Instead he begins talking to a girl from my HS, and starts hitting on her. (She is a cam whore now)

>>17319735
It doesn't matter, anon.

>>17319762
I can tell it's not you, but if it is text me, and I'll explain...

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I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up.
I don't want to let people down anymore.
I just wanna hang myself and be done with it.
It's been 3 years and now I'm ready to go

I love my girlfriend so much that I've started worshiping her as a goddess, I've even started praying to her. She doesn't know yet and I'm worried that she'll make me stop when I tell her, which makes it awkward praying to her about it. But I hope that she'll decide she wants me to continue.

>>17319991
A lot of women don't like to be worshiped, so it's best to just treat her like your best friend.
I've been in that kinda situation before, but after a while, when I started treating her as more of a person than something to be worshiped, we actually got way closer.
So the best way I can describe it is, if you want to get to heaven, just make you and the angel equal, hahaha

>>17319991
I love him to adore me
I adore him so

>>17320006
Well she's a bit different. You see, we're both pretty fucked in the head. Without going into to much detail. She knows I'm obsessed with her, I've apologized for my jealousy and obsession but she told me she never wants me to stop being obsessed, even going so far to say she wants me to continue being more obsessed. So my thinking is it's possible she'd come around to the idea since she loves being obsessed over. I already call her my goddess but she thinks it's a nickname. One she likes.

>>17320026
Oh, so if you're both ok with it, and it doesn't hurt your relationship/affect your personal life in a negative way, have at it, man

>>17320033
Thanks anon.

>>17320037
No problem!
As long as you know she's not trying to use your deviation for her own gain, or like I said, it comes to affect your personal life, then you two can definitely be happy the way you are.

To the anon who suggested Models by Mark Manson, thanks.

I've read another book like this and it was helpful. The point to take away from these books, and the intention you should read them with, is not to learn how to pick up girls, but rather to improve your character and self as a person. Getting girls may just be a side goal you have from becoming a better person.

Please don't ghost me. You showed me I could still care for another person, you told me you'd be there for me too. And now you've been gone for half a month. I miss you so much.

I am honestly curious as to what my parents will think if I get with that girl.

As far as my parents know, she is Half Polish, 1/8th Irish, misc White otherwise. While in reality, she is 25% Black. (Though visibly, she looks completely white)

My parents are kinda "Racial Purists"

>>17318562
>>17318558
Thank you. I hope it will be alright for you too.

I just finished 9th grade and wont see my class anymore. There were these 6/10 twins (girls) that made the shittiest days bearable.. and i dont know how im going to keep my shit if they arent in my life anymore. Im too much of a beta to ask them out to do something.

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AHAHAHAHAHA YEYEYEYEYEYEYEYAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC2ZY2loo74

FUCK YEAH! WE'RE ALL GONNA MAKE IT PEOPLE. STAND UP AND WORK ON THE SOLUTIONS TO YOUR PROBLEMS.

oh man, goin to the gym to celebrate. FUCK YES!

is this living? this is fantastic. just the fucking best. its like, its like starving for months and then getting a massive delicious steak put in front of you. it's almost too much.

>>17318540
It will be alright. Everything comes to pass

>>17315539
go back and make things right. why not. you'll feel better, and they'll like you a lot. you will forever be remembered in that establishment as a good person and may find that the rewards for that honesty are things like free shakes or something. who knows. or just really good service and people remembering your name.

You got no control over me. I´m done being afraid. I´m gonna start lifting weights again, going to sports, getting a job, getting my life back together etc.
You made me feel fucking worthless and now I am gonna prove that you were always wrong .
When I look the stuff we had now you were always abusive piece of shit and didn´t really care to stay in touch coz you got a new flavor of the month.
I´m done pretending to belong somewhere and am just gonna live this life to the fullest. You can´t hold me back anymore. I wont let you. It´s over.

>>17318540
>>17320286

hey, listen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_uNMy20qAI

>>17315665
Depending on where you are, you may be able to sue

>>17320315
FUCKING YAAAAAASSSSS ANON. YOU CAN DO IT! it's gonna be hard but it's gonna be so good when you look around and realize that you feeeeeellll gooooood.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5TqIdff_DQ

I am SO feeling the FUNK today. alright gym time, remember anons, you've all got it in you to succeed. focus on solutions not problems, work hard, achieve your goals, and love yourself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoATQO82k-k

I don't care about the "if they love you then they wont make you wait" bullshit. Have you not been through hardship? My first 18 years was all abuse and neglect. I had to raise myself. I have more important things to worry about than who loves who and who did what. I don't have family to fall back on. I am it. I am my family right now.

Fuck people. It's not like I haven't communicated this to anyone. I don't know what you're doing but I have future goals. I'm not opposed to dating but it's not my priority and don't judge people for that??? This is so frustrating.

The Moon

>got criminology bachelor's degree recently
>25 years old
>realize you don't want to work in law enforcement or law too late
>have no experience
>weak physically and mentally, afraid of failures so much that i'm anxious to do anything

i am so depressed because i have no idea what to do anymore. i have almost no skills and i need to start working soon.

i just want to have a car, comfortable life and a job that i like doing, i have no big ambitions ...but i have no idea what i would be good at and be happy doing it

please help

>>17320399
same :(

>>17319403
If you wanna keep your gf then stop. Maybe ask gf to massage you. If you want her cousin then go for her cousin

Guys i really need your help pls

Fuck i think its going to be too late come on guys

>>17320431
tell me anon

>>17320443
fucking tell meee

I'm such a selfish asshole. I'm sorry. I will stop.

>>17320399
well you got a degree that you can leverage into a huge stepping stone until you figure out what the hell you want to do. I'd take that. it doesn't have to be forever, but that's a nice stepping stone to whatever you want that you've got in front of you.

>>17320387
God, you're starting to sound like a miserable careerist. You really need to let go of some of that pain, it does nothing but weigh you down. You do realize how young you are right? You can afford to slow down a bit and learn to love life again, you're already much smarter and more diligent than your peers.

>>17315571
You'd hate talking to me then, I think I use humour to prevent people from getting too close. It's not hard though, what do you want to talk about? I've had deep convos with people, I don't know what you seek, but if you would like to specify, mabe we can help

>>17315676
I'm not gonna lie, the right one won't come to you, you have to look for her, he might not even exist, all you need someone who likes yu back, and someone in whom you can find comfort and peace, and there ar ots of ople like that. just be open don't go out with a closed mind encased in only one type of person

I wish you were more comfortable talking to me about things.

>>17316009
>>17316010
No one just suddenly wants to stop seeing you, but you have to know what's wrong since it has hapened 30-40 times, and since you sem to be able on carryig 2-3 dates as opposed to 1, there's gotta be some pattern, dig deeper, seek for the pattern

>>17316428
I sincerely hope you do find that person, you deserve it

>>17316638
2 pumps? wow
I believe I suck at sex too, not because I last 2 pumps, I just am fat and have not many moves and as I grow older I just become more self conscious about it
And I also realize girls don't want to teach a boy how to fuck
I understand what you want, if he can't give it to you, let him know, it's not worth it

>>17316766
ink of this, if you don't really know her, you're not messing anything up, just say hi, ask her about music, or pay attention to what she likes and see if you have it in common, just don't become someone else

She doesn't give a fucking shit, why should I?

More alcohol.

More drugs.

More cutting.

Lets go.

>>17316907
why are you scared of him?

have you talked to him? if so, has he shown any interest, is he friendly towards you?

answer this and I'll try and help

>>17320431
>>17320444
Say it mane, nice dubs btw other anon.

>>17317467
pfff, you're a hilarious, use it in your advantage, ttell people they should see your big house, your heliport, your classic carrs, don't take yourself that seriously man, you're overthinking over nothing
>>17317471
lost at the reply too

I swear to god I want to hurt myself in front of her to see if she'd even care

I'm intoxicated by a girl . We are friends but I wish we were more. I'm sleeping poorly because for now it's not going to happen.

>>17318562
if that is all true...

holy fuck. most people are ruined by just one of those experiences, and end up killing themselves.

if you wouldn't mind answering a few questions...

1. why do you think this person was the love of your life? so many people out there...

2. how spaced apart were these events? this sounds really familiar.

3. which was the most difficult to go through, get over, or whatever?

4. seriously, how? that really seems like a ridiculous amount of terrible shit to live through.

Love is such fucking bullshit

Whipping yourself over something someone else said and shit

Its fucking bullshit. I hate it. I wish I had become emotionless when I was a lonely man. I wish I had become numb. I wouldn't be as happy but I wouldn't be in such pain.

Every year I get depressed when my birthday nears. I have few days left to my birthday. A couple hours ago I had a huge argument with my mom. Also my relatives were at our house today (not when argument happened) and she spent the time with them while I was staying in my room all day. I don't have anything to say to that, this is usual for us. She's spends her time with my relatives all day but she can't have a conversation with me for a couple minutes. The moment I start talking she goes crazy. This really breaks my heart.

I really don't want to live. I wish there was an easy way to kill myself. I can't get a gun and don't want to be stabbed to death. My dilemma is I believe I still have a potential to help myself, be successful, then help others in the end. Then I can finally kill myself after all that.

Cut off a friendship of 6 years because it became toxic for both my friend and me. But now I'm missing my friend a lot. I want to go back, but I know for sure nothing good would come from doing so.

Annoyed that I'm being a little bitch about it and not moving on more quickly.

I think I'm falling out of love with my girlfriend. All she does nowadays in point out what I'm doing wrong in our relationship, spend time on her phone when we're together, and string me on guilt trips for wanting to pursue interests of my own.

She's a flaky person with her friends, and will make plans and bail on them in the same day. She doesn't think I'm affectionate, though I feel that I am. I can't make compromises with her, and she doesn't trust that I'm putting my 100% into our relationship, whatever the fuck that means because I'm basically her lost puppy dog at this point that she can drag around with her.

Not sure what to do at this point because money is tight and I can't move out on my own. Some days I wish I had stayed single.

I pull my hair out with worry over her EVERY FUCKING DAY and she doesn;t give a FUCKING SHIT about me

>>17320902
I know this feel as well.

>>17320639
Thank you I know thats what I need I think I was just frustrated bc I saw something.

It's almost that time of the year again. I think about you a lot, lil bro. You were my best friend. I still dream of you, you know. Us both running on that field, resting by the shack. It's been 8 long years, and I don't think it'll ever get any easier. Be safe wherever you are.

>>17320987
Did your brother die?

>>17320670
I like talking about things I'm interested in, like music or literature or anything worth thining about. Small talk is so incredibly mundane that I hate every second of doing it. What's even worse is talking to other people my age and having to force myself through a series of internet memes. I hate that shit.

I have a crush on my friends roommate
I hate it when shit like this happens

I am pretty depressed. I probably shouldn't be, since I am white, American, pretty smart [spoiler]95/99 on my ASVAB[/spoiler], not starving, and have a job.
That being said, my spine constantly hurts [spoiler]about 7/10 on the pain scale, 10 being flayed[/spoiler], my family probably doesn't love me since they have mostly torn me down my entire childhood, I have no friends, no car, no license, and I live in my Uncle's basement.

I am planning on going in the Navy in November to be a Nuclear Technician, and I've always enjoyed learning, but I feel empty and sad. Nothing really seems to matter. I don't want to have children, because I would be an awful parent. I feel like an awful person, because I masturbate to terrible shit, and have urges to hurt people. I never do, but the fact that I desire it makes me feel bad.

What can I do to feel less awful?

>>17320798
Yes, it is all true.

1. I am older, and more experienced, than most here. There was simply something about her; what we experienced together, the sacrifices made, plans for the future, and so on. Factor in one of those incredibly rare connections that a person is lucky to find even once, and I knew.

2. It all happened in the span of a few months. Obviously, events had been leading up to this for some time.

3. Her, easily. I would not say I am over her, but have come to terms with reality.

4. My life has, mostly, been one horrifying event after another. You either face these things, and become a stronger, better, man, or allow the pain, and suffering, to consume you.

It does change you, though, but such is life.

>>17321126
Addendum: I don't want to play video games, or masturbate, or even really be alive. I don't want to neck myself, because it would leave a mess, my family may be distressed by it, and I have the slightest hope that things may get less shitty eventually.

How does one achieve happiness?

What should i do if im a bad person?
Im just fucking terrible, i dont progress, im lazy, im a parasite, i think im better than everybody else but im the worst of all, i dont do anything for me or others.
I dont have the balls to kill myself, so i just keep leeching from those who still care about me, just to fail them, it seems like i dont really care about anything, even tho i feel like i do but i dont do anything about it.
i dont get it.
i dont want friends, or love, sex, anything but at the same tame i want it all, but it would still make no sense, theres no meaning.
im not a good person and i have never been one.
i have always manipulative, i cant help it.
i dont have any abilities, i cant even sustain myself.
doing that would mean a life of wage slavery.
whats the idea if im still going to die?
i really dont get it, nothing is genuine, why? why should it be?
human beings are disgusting, animals are disgusting, plants are disgusting, art is disgusting.
why am i even talking about this?
Should i get therapy? is paying to some idiot going to help me? how?

I feel fucking awful. I've violated my own personal moral code.

I'd been attracted to you for quite a while, even though you're married, and as of recently have a kid on the way.
I shouldn't have done what I did last night, and I knew even in my drunk state that I was making a mistake. But I did it. I sucked you off, the only satisfaction I received was making you come (but that's something that gets me off, making my SO get off. But the thing is, /you're not my SO/.) Going nearly four months without ANYTHING of sexual pleasure from your wife, I felt bad. But it wasn't my place to do anything. Even though you paid for the entire night we had together, which was amazing, I shouldn't have done it.

Everything we did last night, the cuddling, letting me nearly fall asleep on your shoulder while watching that movie I can only recall half of. I remember how your ring hurt my hand as I held it, but I didn't care at the time. Just holding YOU felt so good. And I /really/ enjoyed your fondling and you touching me. Maybe a little too much.

You may not consider it cheating, but I do. If I were your wife, and I found out about what happened, I don't even know how angry I'd be. How the feeling of knowing I can't trust the man and father of my child.

I feel awful knowing that I was involved with you, cheating on your wife. But I feel even more awful knowing that part of me wants to do it again.

I can't tell anyone how I'm feeling because I'm so ashamed of myself.

Yet here I am, telling the entire world while I down a bottle of Parrot Bay Rum.

I'm rather young but have a girlfriend who's a couple of states away. I love her and I can't see her. It sucks.

>>17320940
There's a lot of misinformation floating around here. Have a little faith, yeah?

>>17321262
Don't feel bad. His wife is the one who screwed up, not him, and definitely not you. I'd say do it again, as long as you're okay with him never leaving his wife

I hung out with my crush today and I ended up getting so helplessly horny that I'm sexting my ex and touching myself. I'm just terrible.

>>17321402
Interesting.

I don't really get horny when I'm with my crush. I can't even fap to her. Nothing.

Not sure if I am lucky or cursed.

>>17321404
I know that feel

>>17321368
I'm sure if this were to continue, it'd more than likely be only be for the duration of her pregnancy, but even before the pregnancy, she controlled when they had sex. If he was in the mood and she wasn't, tough shit. I've never experienced blue balls, but I imagine it sucks ass. Hell, he came within about 30 seconds of my mouth around him.
I don't know how right this is, but I feel like if you're married to someone, you two should be doing shit together like sex. Especially sex. And knowing how stingy she is with it really pisses me off. Sure she doesn't have to give him head (apparently most everything makes her want to throw up.) but damn. She couldn't expect him to go nine plus months without any sort of sexual stimulation, could she? I'm sorry, but that's down right evil. My thinking's augmented with alcohol and my pregnancy fetish, but still.
I really want to do it again, and maybe even go further than me giving him head. All the shit he goes through, he fuckin' deserves it.

>>17321412
Yes
You're correct
You sound like a good person

>>17321416
Hehe, I like to try to think of myself as a good person with a good moral compass. Do whatever you want as long as you're not hurting anyone else. I just gotta get myself out of this funk.

>>17321368
>>17321412

So withholding a man's god-given entitlement to stick his penis into things is the mortal sin, not the adultery. That really clears things up. How are things in your pig sty, otherwise? Fucking animals.

And stop trying to justify being a fucking slut. That is all you're doing. Normal people would've suggested marriage counselling, but you're a filthy fucking homewrecking slut. And you did what filthy fucking homewrecking sluts do. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to everyone else here. Fucking skank.

i love you but i don't know if you love me back. i don't deserve you. my life is going nowhere.

>>17321416
Yeah, moral relativity, relative to the satisfaction a man feels, of course.

That's so fucking gross.

>>17321432
I've thought about trying to sleep with someone different because my husband's too overweight now to have good sex with. I'm not attracted to him anymore either.
But I'm not exactly the best looking girl either.
I could stay faithful but it's going to be a long time before he can get down to the size where he'd be good at sex again. :(

I've only developed feelings for 1 girl since my ex dumped me 3 years ago and I think she was probably the love of my life. I honestly can't imagine loving anyone or anything more than I loved her.

Anyways, I asked the new girl on a date and fucked it up by telling a rape joke and now she has a boyfriend. I'm pretty sure she tries to use me for rides and shit now. Although, I don't think this new girl would have been the love of my life, she is a close second and I think about her a lot.

How the fuck do you get over people? It's interfering with me finding a new girl to fixate on. It's hard to date people knowing you'd rather be with someone else.

My mom fucked me up. I can’t form healthy relationships with any one because I live in fear that they are going to treat me like she does. Which, I know is irrational, because I know she has some mental disorder she doesn’t want to recognize.

I think that’s what hurts the most. She won’t even acknowledge the emotional abuse she’s put me through, probably because she chooses not to see the scars.
I’m tired of living my life on eggshells. Tonight she texted me while I was at work because she heard my sister talk about me moving out. I’m twenty and capable of living on my own, I just fear leaving them behind. She freaked out at the idea of me leaving, probably because she’ll have one less pawn in her game.
I fear I’ll turn out just like her.

Now I'm kind of worried in risking this. Worried about losing it...something in me still refuses to let it happen, but then what do I do in order to make sure of that while taking the right course of action? What is the right course of action anyway? Fuck, I wish I knew for sure. I don't think there's a middle ground here. I think I have to risk losing it in order to take the right course of action. I think this is it..but then what if what happens goes wrong? Backfires and I lose? What will I do then? Will I force myself to be accepting of losing it? Or should I be okay in losing it but try to get it back again? Is there any way to even do that without hanging on? Man I need to make some serious decisions. I think I really just need to finally accept it happening. I think that's the right attitude. But now for the action. What will I do?

>>17321457
I don't know you, but you're not gonna turn out like her. You recognize what she doesn't want to.
And if they're doing just fine, you're not leaving them behind. You're a grown adult, albeit not able to purchase alcohol legally or rent a car, but for most everything else, you're a grown adult capable of your own choices, as far as the laws of the US goes. Just focus on you and your own well being. Eventually you'll see, and you'll be able to form your relationships you'd like to. Time is the healer of all.
Maybe you just need some time to find yourself. Time to make your own life.

>>17321469
....can you be a little more specific?

>>17321472
Thank you for the kind words.

I guess I'm more worried that I'm not strong enough to be my own person and tell her no. My parents got divorced almost 10 years ago and my mom still controls everything he does, and he lets her. It's such a fucked up situation.

>>17321479
You're welcome. I love the shit out of my lazy bum of a brother and retired father, but my life, my happiness doesn't revolve around them. I give everything I can to my family and friends. But enough is enough sometimes.
Best thing about moving out, you don't have to cut off contact with your family. But you don't have to worry about them bothering you so much either. Your mother will learn to adjust to life w/out you in it every 5 seconds. She may not like it, but for your well being, she'll learn. Don't do it until you're ready, but once you're ready to live on your own and make your own life, you won't regret it.
Learn from your family's mistakes. Prove to yourself you're better than their mistakes. Prove that good can come out of a bad bloodline.
My father was an alcoholic until his heart attack, my sister was a crackhead, and my older and younger brothers are potheads, every one of them dropped out of school. I'm the first out of my immediate family to graduate high school, and I only did so because I wanted to prove that I could do it, even though my family gave up on me. My father didn't even want to attend my graduation. Now I make more money than my father could dream of. All because I wanted to prove I could do better than what my bloodline destined me to do.

Just do you. Don't worry about what your family thinks. They'll be jealous in the end, and you'll be just fine.

>>17321429
We think ourselves to be better than animals, but we're all animals in the end, with the want and need for sexual satisfaction. We're just animals that can think for ourselves.

>>17321469
What are you afraid of losing?

>>17321262
I know you're worried. But don't let it eat you up. Anon was right when they said his wife screwed up. He wouldn't be looking for another outlet.

I'm sick of us talking on and off for weeks. Do you even love me anymore?

>>17321478
>>17321547
My relationship. I realized a lot of things since I last saw her. A lot. We're not dating anymore. But I realized something that I've known all along but that my attention kept being taken away from it. I've realized that what happened in our relationship is all a result of my inexperience. I could've have had her. I still can, maybe, but there's a lot of history and problems in the way. Not to say she isn't at fault. She's a pretty awful person, but I know we could work out. Does this mean we're right for one another? Does it mean we're compatible and should date again? No. But I don't know the answer. I need to get past my problems first before we could even start really seeing if this is right or possible. She needs to fix her problems too though. This is why no matter what, I refuse to date her until she changes. She may very well not, I expect her not to. But there's a chance she does. If she doesn't, we will never be together again. If she does, I'll see who she is after the changes and judge as to whether or not she's worth the time. I'll say this though: The person she was when we first started dating was near perfect and didn't need much work, if at all.

But I need to focus on getting her attracted to me again. I mean, like in love with me as she was at the start. No matter how much she comes to love me though, I won't date her again if she stay as this problematic person she is, and I'll tell her that when the time is right.

Who the fuck knows, maybe I'm the reason. She just so happened to break when she was with me, maybe I'm the fix. But I'm scared. She may very well stop caring and move on. She may be fed up with it all just like I am. But with that being said, I 'am' in fact the one who put much more heart and soul into this, so it's only natural I'm more tired. Why am I scared of her moving on? Because I'm finally pulling away and not pursuing her.

>>17321591
Can't really relate on that willpower you have, but good luck in your situation anyway. Personally, I'd have just given up and cut it off, but hopefully things work out for you

>>17316933
If you and your friend can financially support a child then do it, but make sure you do your research because raising a kid isn't cheap or easy

>>17321429
>So withholding a man's god-given entitlement to stick his penis into things is the mortal sin, not the adultery.
Yes. It's only adultery when his wife is willing

>>17321600
Yeah, I can't imagine myself ever doing this again. I'm stubborn, persistent and full of heart. She's also my first girlfriend, so I can't help but put everything in. I've been working on detaching myself for months and it's been working, because I know if I go on the way I was, It'll drain me of all life and only make our situation worse. I'm trying to figure out a realistic way of seeing where this goes while protecting myself. I realized I really just need to accept the dire situation and not hold on to anything because it's very possible this all ends very soon. I need to be prepared for it. I want to just be there. Not pulling away, not aggressive, but passive. If she wants something, I won't reject. If she doesn't, I won't object. If she wants to end it...I'll have to accept, which is the hardest part. The difference between now and before is that I feel this attitude is a lot more genuine. I'm not completely there yet, I'm still working on it, but it feels real. When I say before, I mean in the past during our relationship I would put on this act that I didn't care. It made her crazy for me. Of course, being the needy cunt I am, it didn't last long. It was fake. It broke down at some point. This time, I've actually worked on myself as person to be less needy, to be a better person. Yes, this was all done with her in mind, perhaps with her as a motivation or a cause, but this isn't being done FOR her. It's for me and my well-being and my development/improvement/progression of character or whatever you want to call it. Self betterment.

I just want to figure out how to go about this...I really need to get checked for autism.

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Two nights ago a girl I used to mess around with sent me some photos of her in her underwear. I have a girlfriend that i've been dating for just over a year and this is the first time I feel like I betrayed her trust. I am loyal but I believe I messed up. I didn't ask for the photos but I didn't turn them down either. I know the girl who sent the photos won't tell my girlfriend but I feel as if I should? I've been up all night wondering what to do and now i've ended up here, hoping that someone has some advice.

I'm such a failure, the only reason I got through highschool is because a couple of my teachers were really chill, but other than those 2 classes I hardly passed and my parents constantly compare me to my sister who always got good grades through highschool and college and has a good job when I hardly got through school and can't land a job at stop and shop. I fucking hate it and I'm too bad at talking to people to tell them to stop comparing me to other people.

>>17320763
No anon, less of that. Go to the gym, ride a bike or just go for a run. Exercise is an antidepressant.

>>17315425
My lack of self esteem and security is going to rot the best relationship of my life to the core, and it'll be my misogynistic fault.

>>17321627
I think you're fine. You acknowledged your faults and even set out with the intention of bettering yourself. You acknowledge that there's a possibility that things will work out, and a possibility that you'll need to let go. It'll be difficult, but you know that.

This may not sound that helpful, but regardless of the outcome, you'll have improved thanks to this. Not thanks to her, necessarily, but thanks to acknowledging your faults and aiming to improve on them. As you said, it's for you and your well-being, your development. Not all situations can end in a positive some just end, but yours definitely has one. I do hope it works out better than just that. I personally hope you two work things out and can be together. But if not, don't forget what you just said. Your well-being and development. No matter the outcome, keep that in mind, anon

go up to ur chick and tell her that these girl ending shit and but all the fault on the girl sending the nudes and tell her chey sent u bam

>>17321665
Dude are you homo sapien?

>>17321665
I feel that this post should've ended a ",nigga"

What did I do to deserve such a shitty life? It's not enough that I don't have friends, or interests that match anyone else's. It's not enough that I'm pretty much unable to talk to people. No, I also have to be graced with shitty ass parents, two fucks from the rural South who only wed because of their shared interest in the fucking Grateful Dead. My fucking father hasn't had a job in ten years, he gets high all day in the garage with his friends and wakes up at fucking 3 AM to scream at us after stepping in dog urine, and later claiming that he didn't. They've been married for over 20 years, and have spent it in misery for over half of them. I sure love the emotional numbness I've developed after spending several nights up from their screaming, having to blast harsh noise and wither away my eardrums just so I can't hear them. My youth is literally dissolving before my eyes on this piece of shit website that I have no interest in. You want to know what my fucking parents were doing at my age? Living peaceful lives and going to parties and holding jobs. Only I have to go through this. Life is so fucking shitty.

im sorry but i dont love you yet.

I give up on the day the moment I wake up.

>>17321624
explain.
and no, this isn't the red pill reddit, this is reality
men cheat. it's as scummy as women cheat. it's scummy when you do it because you're tired of the same old, it's scummy when you do it because your wife feels to encumbered by her physical status as a pregnant woman to have sex with you.

it's scummy. it's adultery. fucking kill yourself and take that fucking slut with you.

I look and act happy on the outside but inside I'm a miserable fuck and I think about offing myself often. I seem to have it together, but deep down I feel like an impostor. I feel like I've faked my way through life, I don't deserve what I have and eventually I will be outed as a fake person. I don't think I have ever really genuinely felt love towards another, it's all been a sham.

>>17321520
self-discipline in our CURRENT YEAR?
responsibility? what the fuck is that?
patience? lmao?

this generation is completely fucked.

I'm in love with my best friend. I really want to be with him. I've confessed this to him, and it didn't ruin our friendship. The more I think about it, the more I just want to distance myself from him to forget that he'll never love me like I love him.

My girlfriend is in a bad place the last week or so, having panic attacks at work and just feeling like shit, and she's been ignoring all the supportive message I've sent her. I told her that I miss her and she responded with "We would've just ended up fighting anyway" (we had a fight a couple of weeks ago) and now she's ignoring me for days. I have no idea how to handle this. It's making me feel desperate. She's completely shutting me out right now.

>>17321262
You're both acting like scumbags. How do you know the truth about his sex life? I hope his wife finds out and gets revenge on the pair of you, now fuck off and find your own relationship, you don't know what morality is

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I'm a 18yr old kid who just graduated high school (yay cringe land!) My brother who I live with is half Chad, I connect better with his roommate than with him, I have a dead end job(working at a gas station),
get taunted at my youth group by a fellow leader who is a Stacy , gonna have no chance in college( suck at math and forget to run assignments in),
Anxiety, ADHD, atusim, and depression, turns my thought process to mush, my friend group and 7/8ths of my social contact are robots just like me,
I sometimes(1-2 times a month) contemplating death(what it would be like/how it would feel to die) or if I could go on a killing spree and claim insanity, sometimes I blame God for making life this way (cold and unforgiving), and on very rare times I blame society for not giving people a chance, but the majority of the time I blame myself for being a worthless, fucking aspie who can't do anything for himself(thanks mom and dad),
can someone send me a bottle of whiskey for a sad sack of shit who'll more than likely kill themselves before they're 30

I'm 23 and I haven't found a single person I can trust
I cant find friends despite actively searching
Women have been the worst to me, straight two faced all the time.
Maybe I radiate something, maybe it's just the area I live in.

...there I vented

I still think about my borderline ex every day. I honestly wish my first relationship wasn't with a borderline psycho who utterly loathed me and wanted to see me suffer in the end. Anybody else know that feel?

>>17321985
My gf and I just broke up 2 days ago, even tho I'm not a emotional person, I still think about her. It just happens, you link certain things to people and when you don't see them anymore, you realise how much they're in your head, linked to random stuff.
I think it will fade tho

I love the misery of being an ugly woman. It's really nice. That I'm about to sleep on the streets and there are no shelters here, and none of my acquaintances will let me crash at their place. I love it, I know it's because I'm hideous. The way people treat me, it's not even that I'm lucky enough to get bullied, I just don't exist. I love it when guys objectify me, saying that at least I could be a "butterface".

It's abject misery, hopelessness, and helplessness.

There's an underlying comfort in this pain, it's so familiar to me. A bed of nails that I have slept on since I was a child. I love being ugly and sad. I love being an unwanted invisible human being. Especially when the last tiny contradictory spark of hope dies out and the gravity of it all crushes me. I enjoy thinking about hanging myself from my apartment's balcony. I've thought about the length of rope I'd get and how I'd set it up, first throwing the rope down under the panels, then going downstairs and throwing it back up over the balcony. It's not a far enough fall for me to die by falling, but it is far enough to take my head off if I hang myself this way.

Misery feels good.

>>17322001
Yeah, hoping it will. It's only been a month and a half so it's still a bit early. Just sucks to think that my ex probably loathes me because of her mental illness though and doesn't regret treating me like shit.

>>17322010
oh and that feeling you get when you fish for a bit of reassurance from someone, "sometimes i think an ugly beast like myself would be better off dead" and I get in response something like "lol don't kill yourself"

that's topkek worthy right there. i'm not even salvageable enough for someone to make a comment about beauty being subjective

ehehehe

>>17321985
Figuratively me.
I felt like such a sck of shit for so long. It gets better though. Seeing other people helped a lot.

>>17322010
If it makes you feel better most people in the world are ugly.

>>17322094
most people are neither beautiful nor hideous relative to their culture's beauty norms
i would like to think that if i were "average", people would at least acknowledge my existence with the right personality
but they don't
I can be charismatic, i've had to be, but people are still very dismissive of me. like i'm an impediment in their daily life.
Being an ugly woman is a special sort of hell because you can be charming, relaxed, outgoing, self-sufficient and you're still worth less than dog shit because you're ugly.

She's not happy with me anymore and broke up with me. I get that. I don't feel that way, I was pretty happy actually, but if that's how she feels then I guess it's better for her to leave me.
I can rationalize this and I'm kind of fine with it. The thought of not going over to her place anymore is alright, and trading cuddling for more space in my bed isn't so bad for now.
I want her to be happy and have a life without me.

But Jesus Christ, I can NOT cope with the thought of her giving affection to another dude, or getting fucked by someone else. The thought is revolting. I get physically sick. And I can't think about anything else. My thoughts are always going in circles. Her kissing some dude. Nuzzling his chest. Jerking him off. Fucking him in every position imaginable. Rinse. Repeat.
I used to dream about her doing just that back when we just got together. Then I stopped dreaming about her altogether as the months and years went by. After she broke up, I had NICE dreams about her for the first time ever. And now after a week or so, the cuck dreams are back.
I didn't ask for this. I don't want to be a clingy asshole, I want to move on with my life and want her to do it too. I don't want to know who she's fucking and simultaneously I can't ignore it. Some lizard part of my brain just wants to stalk her and literally murder every guy who so much looks as looks at her lustingly, even in my dreams, even though I know for sure getting back together with her is not an option, for at least another few years. And even then I don't know if I could accept the fact that she basically literally broke up with me because she wanted foreign dick.

Tomorrow I'll be enrolling for my university. I hope I don't end up being out of place. I have a problem with talking to people and I tend to over think things and I mess up real simple things. I always feel like I'm worthless whenever I fail at something publicly. It's my first time to enroll on my own since my mom used to do it in highschool. I might be good at academics but my social skills are literally shit. I hope I meet good people tomorrow.

Wish me luck!
...
Fuck my life! I don't know what the fuck I should do with it!

>>17321520
>ooga booga muh dick skrew wearing da jimmy hats

>>17322304
To be honest, being an ugly woman is kind of like being a man: you're inherently worthless.
You have to either prove your worth to society with your talents or skills, or say "fuck you all" and rely only on yourself, interacting with other people as little as possible.

And anyway, you're making it sound like appearance is the only thing that matters.
Lemme give an example: I moved to a new uni this year, and i've met (among other people) a couple girls names G and M.
G is very attractive, wears a lot of makeup, dresses provocatively, etc.
But despite the fact that she's in all my classes, i haven't even spoken to her once this year. That's all she is in my head: "that hot chick".
M, on the other hand, is not attractive. At all. She's also muslim (a conservative branch), and dresses accordingly.
And yet everyone likes her. She's extremely likable.
Even I like her, and I'm generally an antisocial grouch.

You can be likable and even attractive. Look around for girls like M, see what they do. Observe them, try to figure out why people like them so much, and see if you can do what they do.

I have a huge headache. It's so bad the back of my eyes hurt. Secretly hoping it's some terminal illness so I can just go.

There's a cute girl at work.

We smile at each other, exchange sort pleasantries and greetings, but don't really know each other. We're less than acquaintances.


Just two people in proximity to each other.

And she seemingly has no respect for personal boundaries.

When we line up to clock out, as our shift is about to end. She doesn't seem to consider herself to be in the queue unless she is pressing up against me and touching me in some way.

She doesn't necessarily stand behind me either.
More like to the side of me, ensuring she is always in my peripheral vision.

I've been told I give off a "do not touch" vibe. I like that, because other people make me uncomfortable. Even some of the most touchy-feely people I know hesitate around me.

She ignores this.

After years of being the bullied, wierd "creepy" kid, hated by everyone, especially women, I am no longer used to this. I am comfortable alone, and with others at a distance.

There are other girls too...

I learned to be invisible, I had rules to make sure I am not noticed. All attention was bad attention.
I took my act to far and it developed into charisma. For some strange reason people apparently cared more about me, than I did about them.
Now when I keep my head down, they don't think it's to mind my own business, but thinks it's because "I think I'm better than them".
Some girls wonder whats wrong with them, others accuse me of being gay.
I catch some staring and try to ignore it, because being seen makes me uncomfortable.

But this girls the worst.
She ignores the "do not touch" vibe that keeps everyone else away.

Is it that I'm losing that 'vibe', becoming too friendly, or is it her just being incapable of reading the situation?
This bothers me.

>>17321408
Not necessarily a bad thing. But kinda makes you question how you really feel about them

>>17320771
I have talked to him, we are actually pretty close. He can be a bit brutal at times, in a sense that he is honest and everything. But he said he's afraid of asking girls out

All I want to do is repeat the words "I want to die" over and over. I'm so fucking broken by people who they they love me and then shatter my heart and walk out on me.

It always ends the same fucking way, they act like a piece of shit, hurt me and then walk away saying "You deserve someone better who can make you so much happier." DIDN'T YOU FUCKING SEE YOU MADE ME HAPPY GOD DAMMIT?! HOW FUCKING DENSE ARE YOU, ALL THIS DOES IS MAKE ME FEEL WORSE, YOU AREN'T THE FIRST TO DO THIS ALL THIS DOES IS SEND ME DEEPER INTO DESPAIR FUCKING DAMMIT. I'm tired of everyone always fucking telling me "I'll never make you as happy as someone else, you should go find them." EVERYONE I FIND MAKES THE SAME FUCKING SENTIMENT IF I'M SO GOD DAMN GOOD FOR EVERYONE WHY WONT A SINGLE PERSON FUCKING STAY?!

I'm losing it, i'm breaking, and I can't hold myself together anymore. I need someone who will stay by me and not walk away after they hurt me because they can't handle dealing with someone whose true and doesn't want to do any harm to them and makes them feel inferior in turn. I can't handle this anymore, the weight of all these rejections, heart breaks, abuse, and pain is just building up over time. It feels like I have the force of the suns gravity on my shoulders and I don't even want to walk anymore. I just want someone to fucking love me god damn it. Someone please fucking love me. Please, all I ever needed in this world was love and everyone rejects my love telling me I'm too good for them.

>>17322797
Anon, they're bullshitting you. Sorry.
You need to find someone that actually does love you, not another ho who'll lie to your face.

That, or start being more of an asshole and see what happens.

>>17322797
What the fuck do I deserve in this world? Someone please tell me, because I have no clue and all I want to do is just die. I feel the lowest out of everything in this world, and I can't go on anymore. I can't keep faking I'm okay anymore, I can't keep walking on trying to find this person whose "good enough" for me that seems to be a fucking myth.

All I want is someone to hug me, tell me they will never leave me and be there in my life through thick and thin. That's all I want, please I can't handle this. Someone just love me please, tell me I have some ounce of worth that makes it worthwhile to spend your life with me. I need something, anything. All I feel in this moment is the need to mutilate my body, make myself feel pain, and to just hopefully bleed out by accident because I get carried away. I feel this abstract mix of indifference that is my coping mechanism, with subtle screams of sorrow of yet another broken heart that I have to fix alone with no one else around, and the anger that I'm such a worthless piece of garbage that no one can love and would rather lie and run away than be with me when they said they loved me and wanted to marry me.

So, once again if I could find someone who truly loves me that would be nice.

>>17322812
This is the 4th person to do this to me. I'm getting tired of being lied to and putting my heart into someone elses hands who just does this shit. I know they are bullshitting me. Finding someone is harder than it looks.

File: image.jpg (50KB, 600x450px) Image search: [Google]

50KB, 600x450px

Venting time
First of all, I know 4chan isn't my personal hugbox, I get that. But it's kind of important to vent somewhere so here I go
I'm a student, studying for a difficlut degree. First year was okay, I managed that very well. Second year is really horse shit. It's very stressfull and hard. I'm failing a lot of exams, and will have to study for the whole summer. It's kind of lame.
My parents are dissapointed, they lost all trust in me. It has come to the point when they take away my phone so that I can study without procrastinating.
I don't have the same motivation I had a year ago. It's all crashing and burning and I don't see how I'm gonna deal with everything. Today I got in a big fight with parents again and I legit thought about going to a bridge and ending it all. Now I feel kind of better, but I'm still in a situation from which I don't see any real escape.
Thanks for reading, you glorious faggots

>>17322797
Not really my place to say, but sometimes that's genuinely how we feel. No matter how much we care, sometimes we feel we aren't good enough one way or another and stupidly act on that. I'm not saying that's your situation, just personal experience. You're not wrong, though, it's wrong of us to act on those insecurities. Personal experience says not to make the mistake to act on it, but it also says that it can be a genuine thought. The fault lies on us if we act on such an insecurity, more-so if we don't talk to you first. You're not at fault in your situation, it's anyone who feels that way but doesn't try to fix it with you.

There is one fucking person on this planet that I can share my feelings with, and she left me. Now what the fuck do I do? I have one good friend, one friend who I see maybe twice a year, some acquaintances who I'm not sure like me and some family.
I've tried talking to my buddy, but I can't stop hiding behind a mask of bad jokes and cynicism.
I've tried talking to my mom but she was in the same boat as my ex when she left my dad so I'm not expecting empathy from her and thus clam up.
I've spent time with dad intending to tell him my girl had left me but I couldn't bring the subject up without it being horribly forced and I can't shut off the little voice in my head that's repeating over and over "nobody fucking cares" so I don't bring up the subject.
I don't know how to bring up the subject to my sis either; I could probably talk with her but she's busy as fuck at the moment and I just don't fucking know.

>>17322847
Can I ask why "you" can't trust what I say then? If I tell you that you make me really happy, happier than I have ever been in years and I really enjoy the time we spend together and wish to spend more of it together. Why that doesn't translate into your mind "I want you around, you are good enough for me and I see value you in you anon. I really truly love you and my life is for the better with you in it."

Why do you have to run away and take the small glimpse of happiness I had in my life with you? If I tell you that I love you, want you, adore you, and want to be one with you. Why can't you take the hint that you are worth something to me regardless how you view yourself. Why not accept my loving embrace, enjoy the love I give, feel safe in my arms and slowly learn over time that you are worth more than what you give yourself credit for.

Am I being too loving? Do I just need to be an asshole and keep you in your place?

>>17322938
Depends on the person and experiences. Like I said, I cannot speak for your circumstance, so don't take what I say as a personal reason. The experiences, what you're compared to even without meaning to, what other people say and do. These chip away at you. It's not that someone is too loving or not loving enough, it's the insecurity that if you stayed you'd deprive someone you care about of something better just because they aren't currently looking for it. This is an insecurity that, like I said, shouldn't be acted on but should instead be addressed with the partner. But people make mistakes, and acting on such an insecurity is a great mistake. Not fixing the mistake is another.

Personal experience taught me that much, so I could at least take that lesson from it all. I only mean that it's not always a lie, sometimes we do truly believe that we aren't good enough, that you'd be better off with someone else. As I said, I cannot speak for your circumstances, but don't take it as you not being good enough to keep someone, it isn't your fault that people act on these insecurities, it's only their own.

We've reached the bump limit.
----------------------------------------
New thread: >>17322959

>>17322954
So basically I'm fucked even if I did nothing wrong and I'm the one left high and dry to feel alone for the rest of my life because the person who I viewed as my soul mate decided she wasn't good enough for me and wants me to do the impossible and find someone who doesn't exist.

Cool, I might as well kill myself now.

>>17322965
She was trying to be nice by saying it like that. It's a variation of "it's not you, it's me".

>>17322965
It's the certainty that such a person does exist that causes us to think that. It's hard to explain, because I'm trying not to sound like I'm justifying such a mistake.

If we, for example, get jealous over how other people either were with you in the past or act towards you in the present, the first mistake is to let that create doubt. We try to make it up to you in actions beyond that, but to you it'd be unnecessary compensation. This is a result of us not even communicating that properly, our mistake again.

When we let the insecurity win, we submit completely. In all of this, you truly do nothing wrong, it's our fault the entire way. Certain of something for so long that, eventually, that false certainty will be proven correct when you do find someone better.

It's not you in any of this, it's the person who actually gives into the insecurity. We only have ourselves to blame, and you only have us to blame. Had we communicated, such a result could have been avoided, but you are not a psychic you cannot know what's bothering us without either the most incredible awareness and foresight that no one should expect, or us communicating.

Like I said, going into this is difficult without sounding like I'm trying to justify the mistake. That's the opposite of what I intend to do, but trying to provide the reasons it could happen from personal experience just looks like I'm trying to justify mistakes.

At the end of the day, you're not at fault. Don't give up on love

>>17322987
It doesn't matter if you are or aren't.....

I just want to know why they think this is okay when I said I'd be by her side no matter what and I'd never leave her. To put my heart and soul that was already fragile and fucked up from other bullshit into her hands to only throw it back in my face and shatter it again because she couldn't have enough faith in me to see her through to the end no matter what.

This is just awful, I hate this and this is a pretty valid reason to give up on love. It always happens to me, these people think they aren't worth it and give this lame excuse of "There is someone better out there." If it's true why not at least drop them in my lap if they fucking exist instead of making me suffer through this lonely exsistence wading through failure after failure of trying to find her on awful dating websites and in real life and a mass array of failed connections.

I can't fucking handle this, whatever thanks for trying to explain. I'm done with this shit and life. I quit. I'm done trying to find love in people who never think they are good enough and leave me high and dry like always and rejected. I'm not even good enough for someone who hates themselves, how am I going to be good enough for some normal functioning person if the people who don't see value in themselves don't see anything in me worth sticking around for.

>>17323021
If someone hates themselves, how can they possibly believe they're good enough for you? Like I said, I'm not justifying it, but that's the wrong way to look at it. "I'm not even good enough" is wrong especially when you're saying they hate themselves. If they hate themselves, they take the saying "how can someone love you if you don't even love yourself" and live by it.

You shouldn't give up because someone else makes the mistake. It's their mistake, and their second mistake is not fixing the first. Do you truly believe your love life is impossible? It isn't. If it isn't impossible, why do you give up? In one way, their insecurities are not entirely incorrect. You could find someone else after them, if that's the case, you definitely can find someone. The "someone" for you, that won't make such a mistake. They're wrong for ending it on an insecurity, more-wrong for not communicating the insecurity and wrong for not fixing the mistake once they make it. If they see evidence that supports their insecurity, they will believe their judgment correct. That's not your fault, I should add, it's still theirs. I'm just saying this is how such an insecurity can be justified to the person. If they acknowledge their mistake and then see evidence to prove the insecurity correct, they won't fix it, either. This isn't your fault, either. It's theirs for not acting, for hesitating, for letting a mistake persist and a problem fester.

Do not give up on love

>>17323051
You are missing out on the point that everyone else seems to miss out on though. This "someone" isn't going to magically fall into my lap. I'm already at my breaking point where I just want to collapse and wait for death to take me.

I'm beyond the point of even carrying on anymore, I can't handle this anymore. If I don't try to find someone, no one is ever going to come to me and tell me they like me and want to know me. That isn't how it works in this dating game, girls can just exist and as long as they aren't a 2/10 desperate guys will chase them around and beg for their attention and love. No one is ever going to extend their hand to me first and help me up, I gotta pick myself up again and again with no one around me to only get knocked the fuck down time and time again.

Whether it was their mistake or mine, their mistake hurts me incredibly bad to the point where I don't want to move on anymore. So yeah I truly believe my love life is impossible. The only "love" I'm going to get at this point is when I'm 30 and some used up whore who slept around throughout her twenties is ready to "settle down and build a life" after having her fun and use me since I'll have a decent stable income. Those are the only people who are ever going to make the first move, no one would dare to see any value in me otherwise.

I'm not going to find love, just shitty forced companionship because some whore realized sucking dick for a living doesn't give you a living wage.

>>17323080
I can relate to a lot of that, but I maintain you shouldn't give up. You're right, nothing falls into your lap in some idealistic way, no matter how much we wish it would. Does love need to come before you can love life? The answer depends on the person, I suppose.

I personally came to the conclusion that I'd simply shut off the past after having learned the lesson from my experience. I'm not going around looking for companionship following my mistake, I'm seeking the ability to enjoy myself first. Not through other people, but just myself. I want to be able to enjoy passing time doing hobbies again. When I truly enjoy being me and feel comfortable with what I have access to right now, then I will hope for love in the future. Or maybe I'll reach the point where I don't want it at all.

I don't believe you should give up on love, I do believe you should try to enjoy yourself. Heal your wounds, enjoy yourself as hard as that sounds, and then have faith that your future will be bright. I'm sorry people like me hurt you with our insecurities. You aren't at fault, you aren't in the wrong, but hold onto some faith while you try to find the best in the present. Your time will come, and it won't be with someone using you for money. I can do nothing but offer these words for you, just try to hold onto hope and seek some enjoyment in the present so that the past stops clawing at you

Weed doesn't make me happy most of the time, it just makes me sleepy and numb, but sometimes I start intensely thinking how everything is pointless and how empty I feel.

>>17323098
Yep, simple question love needs to come before I can love life. I heard this whole bullshit before and life sucks and isn't as fun when I don't have anyone I can emotionally connect with on a personal level.

And I can only do that with love.

>>17323175
I don't believe that. Or perhaps I only believe the opposite because I only have my own experiences. I believe life can be loved without love from a partner. It's hard, incredibly hard, especially when so much has felt bleak for so long. But I believe it even so. I believe love from someone else can be achieved without a romantic relationship. I believe this is the rule behind friendship, and why friendship works. But finding true friends? Yes, that seems hard. It seems like there are several number games.

To find compatible partners out of all the people in the world? What a slim probability given the population and how scattered it is. Finding true friends? Slightly better odds, because finding true friends doesn't succumb to sexual orientation affecting probability. But still, this seems pretty slim, just easier to achieve.

But being able to find something you can enjoy without finding someone else first seems to have the best odds. You only rely on yourself, not someone else's thoughts, beliefs, opinions and preferences to be in common within at least one of those categories. Finding a hobby you can enjoy, a pastime anything like that, just seems more achievable. Or at least I hope so.

I don't think you should give up. Only because I believe you moving past this and picking yourself up is possible. I'm not denying difficulty, I'm saying possible. I don't believe you being happy is impossible, I don't believe you finding love is impossible.